Quote: Del Knox: Come with me, or I'll shoot your testicles off and stuff 'em and mount 'em on my mantlepiece.
Tom Marshall: That's gonna be an ugly mantlepiece. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Elwood: How you like me now?! Huh? How you like me now, fishie? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk - cause you don't have a head! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: River Guide: There's a transmitter in the canoe. So just in case you three go missing, at least we'll get our boat back. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: River Guide: So... are you a class... 4,5?
Tom Marshall: Yeah? Yeah? Why don't you try to put those numbers together. Yeah. I shot a class 45, and haven't lost a man yet.
River Guide: Lie to me! I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to drown. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: River Guide: So... are you a class... 4,5?
Tom Marshall: Yeah? Yeah? Why don't you try to put those numbers together. Yeah. I shot a class 45, and haven't lost a man yet. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Tom Marshall: I'm not an astronaut, I'm an American. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Jerry Conlaine: [laying in the boat, after rapid riding] I about shit. Did you about shit?
Tom Marshall: I about shit.
Dan Mott: I did shit.
Jerry Conlaine: Oh shit!
Dan Mott: What? Oh, shit!? Oh, shit! What? Oh, shit?
Dan Mott: [while falling off the waterfall]
[all together shout]
Dan Mott: Oh, shit! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Del Knox: Whatever it is you guy are looking for, you gotta go out there and get it right now.
[Tom, Jerry, and Dan get up to leave despite the rain]
Del Knox: Not right now you idiots. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dennis, Elwood: [singing] Yes we really want to hurt you. Yes we really want to make you cry. Yes we really want to shoot you. Yes we really want to make you DIE. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dennis: Where the hell did they get all this poop? [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dennis: [hearing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" being sung from beneath] The hills have gone gay. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: We should just... go home!
Tom Marshall: Yeah, that's a great idea! We'll just jump over that hundred foot waterfall, swim twenty miles upstream, get the sheriff on the phone, he liked us, I remember, and he'll send out a rescue! Hey, look, there's a beer in the water! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Denise: Can you please be serious for 5 minutes?
Jerry Conlaine: My record is 4 but I think I can do it. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Jerry Conlaine: When we get out of this someone's buying a round of drinks, not it.
Tom Marshall: Not it.
Dan Mott: Is there beer in heaven?
Jerry Conlaine: I was thinking more the bar in town. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Jerry Conlaine: I'm what neurologists call slow! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Elwood: How do ya like me now? [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Tom Marshall: [urging dan to climb through a hole] Come on Dan, your the only one small enough to get through.
Jerry Conlaine: That's what she said. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: Hey, that sounds like Creed.
Tom Marshall: I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: Where are we?
Jerry Conlaine: Corner of Bumfuck and You Got a Pretty Mouth. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: [doing his best c3p0 voice] We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being... how do you human's say it? Completely screwed. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.
Tom Marshall: I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone... he liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And... hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool. [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Jerry Conlaine: Wait a second. Tom, were you really employee of the month?
Tom Marshall: No! I lied about that too! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: What are you doing?
Jerry Conlaine: Taking off my shoes
Dan Mott: Why?
Jerry Conlaine: Because I run faster with no shoes
Dan Mott: You can't out-run that bear!
Jerry Conlaine: I dont have to out-run the bear, I just have to out-run you! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Dan Mott: Stop, drop, and roll! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]
Quote: Tom Marshall: He won't bother you if you're in the fetal position... Abort the fetal position! [Movie; Without a Paddle [2004] Movie; Without a Paddle [2004]]