Quote: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. [George Burns]
Quote: Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. [George Burns]
Quote: Be quick to learn and wise to know. [George Burns]
Quote: Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. [George Burns]
Quote: Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. [George Burns]
Quote: At my age flowers scare me. [George Burns]
Quote: Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. [George Burns]
Quote: Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. [George Burns]
Quote: First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. [George Burns]
Quote: Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. [George Burns]
Quote: How can I die? I'm booked. [George Burns]
Quote: I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. [George Burns]
Quote: I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. [George Burns]
Quote: I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. [George Burns]
Quote: I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. [George Burns]
Quote: I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. [George Burns]
Quote: I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. [George Burns]
Quote: I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. [George Burns]
Quote: I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. [George Burns]
Quote: I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. [George Burns]
Quote: I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. [George Burns]
Quote: If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it. [George Burns]
Quote: If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it. [George Burns]
Quote: If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. [George Burns]
Quote: It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. [George Burns]