Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[a police car drives up to Grand's car] Could be routine, or... mere damnable harassment.

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Traffic warden #27:
What's your game, Mister?



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket] Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Announcer on 'Magic Christian':
[as the 'Magic Christian' starts to sink] Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to C-Deck immediately!

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Sir Herbert:
[pleads with Laurence, the ship's doctor] If you could please just give me some tranquilizers...



Laurence Faggot:
Escape into drugs? Mask your fears in an artificial fog? Oh, surely you can't be serious.



Sir Herbert:
Oh, well... give me some decent English aspirin!



Laurence Faggot:
[pulls out a lit marijuana joint] Here, Sir Herb, try this. It's just what the doctor ordered.



Sir Herbert:
What is it?



Laurence Faggot:
It's cannabis, Sir Herb.


[inhales, then, choked]



Laurence Faggot:
It'll tighten your wig.

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Youngman Grand, Esq.:
You're certainly puttin' everybody on today, Dad.



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Well, you know, Youngman, sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.



Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Cause for pause?



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Yes.

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]