Announcer on 'Magic Christian':
[as the 'Magic Christian' starts to sink] Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to C-Deck immediately!

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Sir John:
[Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race] It would never have happened in my day!



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Nor mine!



Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Well, it's happenin' in mine!

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Dad, do you think words corrupt?



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
I don't know, let's try. Agnes?



Dame Agnes Grand:
[looks up from the television] Yes?



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Nipple.



Dame Agnes Grand:
Shh!


[turns back to the television]



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[watches her a moment] Well, there's no immediate physical change.

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Traffic warden #27:
What's your game, Mister?



Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket] Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Sir Herbert:
[pleads with Laurence, the ship's doctor] If you could please just give me some tranquilizers...



Laurence Faggot:
Escape into drugs? Mask your fears in an artificial fog? Oh, surely you can't be serious.



Sir Herbert:
Oh, well... give me some decent English aspirin!



Laurence Faggot:
[pulls out a lit marijuana joint] Here, Sir Herb, try this. It's just what the doctor ordered.



Sir Herbert:
What is it?



Laurence Faggot:
It's cannabis, Sir Herb.


[inhales, then, choked]



Laurence Faggot:
It'll tighten your wig.

More Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] Movie: The Magic Christian [1969] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]