advertising

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advertising

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The marriage of reason and nightmare which has dominated the 20th century has given birth to an ever more ambiguous world. Across the communications landscape move the specters of sinister technologies and the dreams that money can buy. Thermonuclear weapons systems and soft drink commercials coexist in an overlit realm ruled by advertising and pseudo-events, science and pornography. Over our lives preside the great twin leitmotifs of the 20th century -- sex and paranoia.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
As a profession advertising is young; as a force it is as old as the world. The first four words ever uttered, Let there be light, constitute its charter. All nature is vibrant with its impulse.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Governing today means giving acceptable signs of credibility. It is like advertising and it is the same effect that is achieved -- commitment to a scenario.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
If your advertising goes unnoticed, everything else is academic!More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
In fast-moving, progress-conscious America, the consumer expects to be dizzied by progress. If he could completely understand advertising jargon he would be badly disappointed. The half-intelligibility which we expect, or even hope, to find in the latest product language personally reassures each of us that progress is being made: that the pace exceeds our ability to follow.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The business that considers itself immune to the necessity for advertising sooner or later finds itself immune to business.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is pretty obvious that the debasement of the human mind caused by a constant flow of fraudulent advertising is no trivial thing. There is more than one way to conquer a country.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Sanely applied advertising could remake the world.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The primacy of the word, basis of the human psyche, that has in our age been used for mind-bending persuasion and brain-washing pulp, disgraced by Gobbles and debased by advertising copy, remains a force for freedom that flies out between all bars.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The most important word in the vocabulary of advertising is TEST. If you pretest your product with consumers, and pretest your advertising, you will do well in the marketplace.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
What you say in advertising is more important than how you say it.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising budget is big enough.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The novice in advertising frequently gives the public credit, for too much intelligence.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.More [09/09/2005 12:09:00]
People forget that I'm still working. I model. I do advertising campaigns. It's not like I'm sat at home twiddling my thumbs.More [12/20/2005 12:12:00]
We should all reevaluate advertising that contradicts what we know to be the truth; especially when the ads are harmfully manipulative.More [03/23/2006 12:03:00]
I think people go to movies and they know too much about the movie before they go into it, whether it's the advertising or they're reading too many stories about it. And they know all the essential elements of the film before they even go into it. And I think that sabotages a thriller.More [04/06/2006 12:04:00]
I was on the bus with Pop, going to lay brick. There was a newspaper lying on the seat, advertising for singers. I loved to sing as a child.More [05/04/2006 12:05:00]
I don't use my celebrity to make a living. I don't do ads for suits in Spain like George Clooney or cigarettes in Japan like Harrison Ford . To me, it is kind of sacrilegious. It's a complete contradiction of the social contract you have with your audience. I mean, Robert De Niro advertising American Express. Gee whiz, it's not the first time he's disappointed me. It's been happening for a while.More [05/24/2006 12:05:00]
It was really nice to come down, see a good, solid win, ... It's the last time I get to see a game this year in Australia and it means that in the five weeks so far that they've had `Cinderella Man' (an advertising patch for Crowe's recent movie) on their jerseys, they've won four out of five.More [05/24/2006 12:05:00]
“There was a period of time in America where the advertising world actually went to the housewives of America and had them write jingles that would appeal to them, ... It was actually brilliant marketing.”More [11/06/2006 12:11:00]
“American grammar doesn't have the sturdiness of British grammar (a British advertising man with a proper education can make magazine copy for ribbed condoms sound like the Magna goddam Carta), but it has its own scruffy charm”More [04/26/2007 12:04:00]
[In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial]
Sy Greenblum: Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.More [06/07/2007 12:06:00]
[Murdoch opens the door to what should be Shell Beach and instead sees the same sign he saw earlier advertising it. Murdoch walks up to the sign, confused]
Dr. Schreber: There is no ocean, John. There is nothing beyond the city. The only place home exists... is in your head.
[Chuckles a bit at the irony]
Dr. Schreber: [Murdoch and Inspector Bumstead tear the sign from the wall, exposing bricks. They then begin to hammer at the bricks with pickaxes]
Dr. Schreber: No! No! John, stop! No! Stop! Please! No!
[Bumstead and Murdoch reach a soft spot in the bricks and begin to pry at it. John, frustrated, uses his tuning to push away the brick wall. What results is the bricks falling away exposing space, almost sucking Bumstead out and showing the bricks crashing against the ship's newly exposed forcefield. Murdoch and Bumstead stand there, stunned. Meanwhile, a group of aliens walks in from behind them]
John Murdoch: What?
Mr. Hand: And now you know the truth.
[Fight ensues]More [08/19/2007 12:08:00]
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.More [12/13/2007 12:12:00]
I had been keeping an off eye on the advertising field, thinking I might become an idea man and a copywriter.More [12/17/2007 12:12:00]
J. Algernon Hawthorne: I must say that if I had the grievous misfortune to be a citizen of this benighted country, I should be the most hesitant of offering any criticism whatever of any other.
J. Russell Finch: Wait a minute, are you knocking this country? Are you saying something against America?
J. Algernon Hawthorne: Against it? I should be positively astounded to hear anything that could be said FOR it. Why the whole bloody place is the most unspeakable matriarchy in the whole history of civilization! Look at yourself! The way your wife and her strumpet of a mother push you through the hoop! As far as I can see, American men have been totally emasculated- they're like slaves! They die like flies from coronary thrombosis while their women sit under hairdryers eating chocolates & arranging for every 2nd Tuesday to be some sort of Mother's Day! And this infantile preoccupation with bosoms. In all time in this Godforsaken country, the one thing that has appalled me most of all this this prepostrous preoccupation with bosoms. Don't you realize they have become the dominant theme in American culture: in literature, advertising and all fields of entertainment and everything. I'll wager you anything you like that if American women stopped wearing brassieres, your whole national economy would collapse overnight.More [04/25/2008 12:04:00]
[Walking through the Okinawa airport, Daniel and Miyagi find a poster advertising Sato's karate school. The poster shows Sato breaking a log with his bare hands]
Daniel: You think you could break a log like that?
Miyagi: Don't know. Never been attacked by a tree.More [05/21/2008 12:05:00]
Tom: Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!More [08/06/2008 12:08:00]
In other words, if you - the cost of promoting movies, the advertising and promotion of a movie, the budget is almost as large as the cost of the movie.More [08/09/2008 12:08:00]
Gilda Farrell:
Now listen, Plunkett, Incorporated. You go to those customers of yours and give 'em a sales talk. Sell them anything you want, but not me. I'm fed up with underwear, cement, linoleum, I'm sick of being a trademark married to a slogan!



Max Plunkett:
Gilda...



Gilda Farrell:
Don't you tell 'em I've got hiccups. Tell them I've got the advertising blues. The billboard collywobbles! Slogans and sales talks morning, noon, and night, and not one human sound out of you and your whole flock of Egelbaurs!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Joyce Manning:
Do you know what it's like, just sitting around waiting for news?



Maj. Mark Baird:
You mind if I suggest a remedy? It's an old one , but it usually works. Find something else to occupy your mind. Do you have a job?



Joyce Manning:
I write copy for an advertising agency .



Maj. Mark Baird:
Now that should help you forget your troubles.



Joyce Manning:
I can imagine myself going back to write all those tired old adjectives: "Tremendous," "Gigantic," "Colossal!" You know what they'd mean to me now, don't you? Glenn! A colossal freak, Major, and he's my brother!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Roger Thornhill:
Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself "slightly" killed.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Boris:
[trying to trick Rocky and Bullwinkle] I am part of one of the biggest advertising company's in the country. Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen and Fink.



Bullwinkle:
Yeah, I have heard of those first three fellows, but who is Fink?



Boris:
I am Fink.



Natasha:
You can say that again dahling.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[George gets stuck in rush hour traffic on his way home from work]



George Jetson:
Well, here we go again. Another night, another traffic jam. Boy, this spaceway traffic gets worse every night. Hey, looks like an opening up ahead.


[he finds the opening and takes it, only to get stuck in more traffic]



George Jetson:
There's another one.


[he tries to take that one, only to find someone else has taken it first. He crashes with it]



George Jetson:
Spacehog! I better cut around and try and side him.


[he does just that]



George Jetson:
Sunday astronaut!


[he then looks forward with a start]



George Jetson:
Yikes!


[he crashes through a sign advertising for Cosmic Cola]



Traffic Cop:
Hey, you! What do you think this is, the Indianapolis 500,000?


[he gets George to pull over]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Herman Munster:
[reading a poem he wrote as an advertising jingle for his mortuary employer] When your days on earth are over / And you've gone to your reward, / Let us put you 'neath the clover / At a price you can afford.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Gordon is shopping with Selina]



Gordon Ralfe:
I almost forgot. I'm out of detergent. Now this is where I really need your help. There's Swish...



Selina D'Arcy:
[Quoting advertising slogans] "Keeps your hands soft as velvet."



Gordon Ralfe:
Good. Whizz...



Selina D'Arcy:
"Retains your girlish skin."



Gordon Ralfe:
Marvelous. Jiffy...



Selina D'Arcy:
"Jiffy makes you feel like a princess."



Gordon Ralfe:
Froth...



Selina D'Arcy:
Froth? I never heard that one.



Gordon Ralfe:
Froth is just for washing dishes, but that's the one we need.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
John Anderson:
What's advertising but a legalized con game? And what the hell's marriage? Extortion, prostitution, soliciting with a government stamp on it. And what the hell's your stock market? A fixed horse race. Some business guy steals a bank, he's a big success story. Face in all the magazines. Some other guy steals the magazine and he's busted.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Daniel Santee:
Mighty advertising executive speak with empty head!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Rudy and Big Jim are watching Barbara's commercial, which has been doctored]



Barbara Jane Fuchs:
Come down and see the, uh, mile of cars we have on our lot.



Rudy:
Did she just say "mile of cars"? She said she had a "mile of cars".



Big Jim:
That's the most blatant claim of false advertising I ever heard in my life...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Vic De Salvo:
Boys, I'm offering all of you a piece of the biggest money-making racket in America today.



Tony:
Drugs?



Sid:
Hookers?



Tony:
Car insurance?



Vic De Salvo:
No, television! Where a minute of advertising costs a hundred thousand dollars... and a ratings point is worth forty million to a network.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
David Howard:
As the boldest experiment in advertising history, you give us our money back.



Desert Inn Casino Manager:
I beg your pardon?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Doomsday Satellite:
Welcome! You have passed through the first three thresholds of the Isaac Asimov Literary Satellite! Enter the disarm code or enjoy the consequences. Remember, this and all literary works of the last century are the sole property of Isaac Asimov and his many affiliates. Thank you for intruding, you have five seconds.



Crow T. Robot:
Quick Joel, cut EVERY wire!



Joel:
It's not gonna work, it needs an access code.



Tom Servo:
Try ego!



Crow T. Robot:
Sideburns!



Joel:
I'll try "I, Robot."



Doomsday Satellite:
[buzz] I'm sorry, the correct entry would have been "copyright" you now have six nanoseconds to realize the consequences.



Joel, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot:
[there is a cloud of smoke, when it clears Joel and the bots are babbling and have sideburns - they stop] Huh?



Joel:
This cockamamie satellite's turned us all into duplicate Isaac Asimovs!



Crow T. Robot:
Hey, do you think it's a conspiracy?



Tom Servo:
Oh, no, I covered the conspiracy topic in my ten-volume history of assassinations and coups!



Joel:
This is TERRIBLE guys.



Crow T. Robot:
Oh, I don't know, at least now I'll have something to write about. You know, I've been thinking about annotating the Manhattan phone directory.



Tom Servo:
Oh, look, it's Commercial Sign. That'll fit nicely into my volume on the effects of advertising on the human psyche.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Drucker is being interviewed on Larry King's TV program]



Charles Drucker:
Total honesty in advertising began as a vision I had when I was a young ad man in Milwaukee...



Emory Leeson:
I don't believe that jerk!



Saabs:
I like Larry King!



Emory Leeson:
I'm talking about Drucker! He took all the credit!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Kathy:
Who here wants to be an advertising executive?


[several hands go up]



Emory Leeson:
Who here wants to be a fire truck?


[everyone raises their hands, with several standing and commenting things like "Ooh, I do!" and "Me! Pick me!"]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Peter Rokeby:
[posing in front of the mirror] Before writing the Great Mancunian Novel, Peter Rokeby was an advertising copywriter, he is married with children and lives in a house... somewhere off the North circular.


[alters pose]



Peter Rokeby:
Before writing the Great Mancunian Novel Peter Rokeby was a lumberjack, an Olympic raftsman and a Freedom fighter in Angola...


[realises Sally has walked in]



Peter Rokeby:
I'm just practicing the book jacket.



Sally Rokeby:
Perhaps you should try writing the book.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
1st Scientist:
[talking about the smokeless Premier cigarette survey] Well of all the people we surveyed the results were just about uniform



F. Ross Johnson:
Uh huh.



Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
They all said they tasted like shit.



F. Ross Johnson:
Like shit?



2nd Scientist:
Shit was the consensus, yes sir.



F. Ross Johnson:
They all said that? Nobody liked them?



2nd Scientist:
Fewer than 5%



F. Ross Johnson:
You said the results were gonna be terrific



Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
Well there's nothing wrong with 5%, Ross, I'll take 5% of the market anytime of the week



F. Ross Johnson:
How much are we into right now?



1st Scientist:
Right now?



F. Ross Johnson:
To date, to here, to now?



1st Scientist:
Upwards of 350.



F. Ross Johnson:
We've spent 350 million dollars and we come up with a turd with a tip? God almighty, Ed! We put enough technology in this project to send a cigarette to the moon and we come up with one that tastes like it took a dump?



Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
We haven't even talked about the smell.



F. Ross Johnson:
Oh what did they say that was like? A fart?



Edward A. Horrigan Jr.:
Yep.



F. Ross Johnson:
Oh you're not serious! They really said that?



2nd Scientist:
We have an awful lot of fart figures.



F. Ross Johnson:
Tastes like shit and smells like a fart! Got ourselves one hell of a product on our hands it's one unique advertising strategy I'll tell ya that.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Hal Jackson:
Great advertising idea, lock the customers in 'till they buy something. I wonder if that would work with trucks?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Contributor, 'Back in Black':
[discussing the new Wynn Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas] It's the most expensive hotel ever built. So how do they pay for it? By a three hour commercial otherwise known as The Today Show.


[footage of hosts saying "They let us in."]



Contributor, 'Back in Black':
Really? For three hours of free advertising on network television, they just let you in the casino? Wow!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Joe notices a girl on a poster advertising sex on the side of a bus]



Joe Dominguez:
Hey, the girl on that poster looks like your daughter.



Nash Bridges:
Yeah! (looks at it a second time) That IS my daughter.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Guybrush Threepwood:
What became of Young Lindy, the cabin boy?



LeChuck:
Fearin' fer his life, he came to me and begged for mercy. In return for not revealing the location of Big Whoop, I let him live. As a sign of me "gratitude," I gave him a fortune which he used to build a successful advertising firm. Once he had grown accustomed to his wealthy lifestyle, I returned to collect me debt. I delivered to him an account so demonically ill-conceived that it was doomed to fail: Gangrene 'n' Honey. Within a month, he was penniless and insane, a broken man! He sold everything he owned and got so desperate he fell in with a traveling circus. He was killed when he was shot from a cannon without a helmet.



Guybrush Threepwood:
No one could be THAT desperate!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



Jean Kilbourne:
I've been doing research and lecturing on the image of women in advertising since the late 1960s. In 1979 a filmed version of my lecture was made entitled Killing Us Softly. These images are still killing us softly, and by "us" I mean all of us: women, men and children. I think we know by now the image of women is primarily negative. However, just about everyone has the illusion of being personally exempt from the influence of advertising. So wherever I go what I hear more than anything else is, "well I of course don't pay any attention to ads, I just tune them out. They don't have any effect on me."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Drew Carey:
Bad places to find advertising


[Ryan pantomimes looking over Colin while he's peeing]



Drew Carey:
Must not have had a lot to say...



Drew Carey:
[audience boos] I regret saying that, because the next card says "Little known, but amazing facts about Drew Carey"



Colin Mochrie:
I have no sense of length.



Wayne Brady:
When I'm with a woman, I go "Wooooooooo!"



Ryan Stiles:
Did you know at first Drew Carey turned DOWN the role of gepetto?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Brad Dupree:
[reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself.



Lester Burnham:
Brad, for 14 years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Russ Duritz:
Stop biting your nails.



Amy:
*Nail.* I only bite one. What's it to you, anyway?



Russ Duritz:
It matters because you work for me. When you bite your nails, you're advertising nervousness and insecurity.



Amy:
Really? Advertising all that with one little nail?


[pushes up her nose at him]



Amy:
What's this advertise?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Russ Duritz:
Stop biting.



Amy:
Leave me alone. I'm advertising terror and bewilderment.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Eugene Levy:
Hello, I'm Eugene Levy. And yes, I'm an Actor. No, I said cappuccino. I'm here to talk to you about something very important. And no, it's not about me or my career. I'm here to talk about subliminal messages in rock and roll music. Or as it's simply known in some cultures, 'rock music'. You see, for years the government has been wisely coercing teenagers to buy products they normally wouldn't want, just to get their money. Fact! Kids don't have bills to pay. Fact! They don't pay taxes. But! They do babysit and hold minimum wage jobs that earn them wads of cash as substantial as, well, my body of work. But kids today aren't dumb. They're not gonna buy just anything. That's why the government has been planting small subliminal advertising suggestions in today's rock music. The results? We can now get these kids to buy just about anything. We can have them chasing a new trend every week. And that is good for the economy. And what's good for the economy... is good for the country. So God bless the United States Of America - the most ass-kickin' country... in the world!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Brian:
Basic rule of advertising and eternal damnation: Once you sell your soul to the devil, he holds the copyright.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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