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Even an attorney of moderate talent can postpone doomsday year after year, for the system of appeals that pervades American jurisprudence amounts to a legalistic wheel of fortune, a game of chance, somewhat fixed in the favor of the criminal, that the participants play interminably.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for years or months. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
District Attorney Bryce Hunter: You were supposed to spy on them. Not to film some porn flick!More [02/17/2006 12:02:00]
We're not playing games, we're not giving warnings, ... If somebody's out there price gouging, they are going to be charged, and if it is a criminal offense, we will get the attorney general's office to carry those charges on to court.More [04/17/2006 12:04:00]
[An attorney for Ladner said yesterday that he could not comment on the statement.] I haven't seen it. Someone on the board has obviously leaked it to the press but withheld it from Dr. Ladner, so he cannot respond, ... It is very disappointing that members of the board would harm the university by continuing a constant series of leaks that distort the truth.More [04/28/2006 12:04:00]
If I'm an international menace like the (prosecuting) attorney is suggesting, then fine. I'll just stay here.More [05/24/2006 12:05:00]
Hm, I think I always had respect for the profession, my dad was a district attorney back home for over 20 years, so I had that going in.More [10/31/2006 12:10:00]
Joe Gavilan: Yes, Yes, I do understand the rights you just explained to me. But you know what? I don't like to remain silent, and I do not need an attorney because this is all BULLSHIT!
[looks out two-way mirror]
Joe Gavilan: AND YOU CAN PUT THAT ON THE RECORD!More [04/05/2007 12:04:00]
[Detectives Zino and Jackson showing pictures of Gavilan]
I.A. Detective Zino: That's Gavilan with Marty Wheeler, attorney for the music business, gambling industry. Sleazeball. You know him.
I.A. Detective Jackson: [hands another picture to Bennie] Here's Gavilan drinking on duty. We got photos, date, time stamped.
Lt. Bennie Macko: [turning bored] Yeah, okay, this is not criminal. I need criminal shit.
I.A. Detective Zino: Well, boss, this may not be criminal shit, but, um...
[Det. Jackson hands photos of Bennie ex-wife, Ruby; Bennie chuckles, then turns cross]
Lt. Bennie Macko: What is this?More [04/05/2007 12:04:00]
Raoul Duke: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Raoul Duke: My attorney understands this concept, despite his racial handicap. But do you?
Hitchhiker: [nodding] Heh heh...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] He said he understood, but I could see in his eyes that he didn't.
[to hitchhiker]
Raoul Duke: He was lying to me!More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Raoul Duke: My attorney had never been able to accept the notation, often espoused by former drug abusers, that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them, and neither have I for that matter.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Paul the Attorney: [Lucy is in an interview for a job] Actually, our prosecuting attorney who quit yesterday called this morning and decided to come back.
Lucy Kelson: When did Mr. Wade call?
Paul the Attorney: Mr. Wade didn't call.
Lucy Kelson: WHEN?
Paul the Attorney: Maybe about an hour ago.More [06/20/2007 12:06:00]
Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Velma Kelly: And then some.
Bailiff: Take a seat.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: Would you state your name for the record, please?
Velma Kelly: Velma Kelly.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: Ms. Kelly, would you please tell the court if the object that I am holding is the one you happened to come across in the defendant's jail cell?
Velma Kelly: Yes, it is.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: I submit this as Exhibit X - Roxie Hart's diary!
Billy Flynn: I object! My client has never held a diary! And even if she did, this would be... invasion of privacy, and violation of the fourth amendment, and... and illegal search without a warrant!
Roxie Hart: Yeah, AND she broke the lock!More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
Billy Flynn: Objection!
Judge: Sustained.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: Your Honor, I haven't even asked a question yet.More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: You mean he was dead when you got home?
Amos Hart: She's got him covered in a sheet and she's telling me this cock-and-bull story about this burgular, and how I ought to say it was me 'cuz I was sure to get off. 'Help me Amos', she says, 'it's my Goddamn hour of need'.
[talking over Roxie's singing]
Amos Hart: That cheap little tramp. So she's been two-timing me, huh? Well I'm through protecting her; she can swing for all I care! Boy, I'm down at the garage working my butt off 14 hours a day and she's out there munching on bon-bons and tramping around like some Goddamn floozy! Thought she could pull the wool over my eyes? Well, I wasn't born yesterday. I tell ya there are some things a man just can't take, and this time she pushed me too far. That little chiseler. Boy what a sap I was!More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
[after Roxie finds out about Fred Casley]
Roxie: Yeah, I killed him and I would kill him again! I would kill him again!
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: Once was enough, dearie. Take her downtown. Come on!More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: This is hanging case, and we're ready to go to in front of the jury tomorrow.
Roxie: Wha-Wha-What do you mean hanging?
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: You're not so tough now, are you?
Roxie: What do ya mean hanging?More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
Roxie: He was trying to burgle me.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month.More [07/17/2007 12:07:00]
Evelyn Mulwray: Tell me, Mr. Gittes: Does this often happen to you?
Jake Gittes: What's that?
Evelyn Mulwray: Well, I'm judging only on the basis of one afternoon and an evening, but, uh, if this is how you go about your work, I'd say you'd be lucky to, uh, get through a whole day.
Jake Gittes: Actually, this hasn't happened to me for a long time.
Evelyn Mulwray: When was the last time?
Jake Gittes: Why?
Evelyn Mulwray: It's an innocent question.
Jake Gittes: In Chinatown.
Evelyn Mulwray: What were you doing there?
Jake Gittes: Working for the District Attorney.
Evelyn Mulwray: Doing what?
Jake Gittes: As little as possible.
Evelyn Mulwray: The District Attorney gives his men advice like that?
Jake Gittes: They do in Chinatown.More [07/18/2007 12:07:00]
Noah Cross: You may think you know what you're dealing with, but, believe me, you don't.
[Gittes grins]
Noah Cross: Why is that funny?
Jake Gittes: That's what the District Attorney used to tell me in Chinatown.More [07/18/2007 12:07:00]
[Sen. Robert Torricelli (D-N.J.) shot back that Republicans were obstructing justice through their threats of impeachment.] The criticism [Reno] has received, the threats that have been made against her and the position she holds, are the political equivalent of an obstruction of justice, … In an ironic sort of way, members of the majority have made it almost impossible for the attorney general to actually name an independent counsel. She’s been threatened with impeachment, hearings, she should be immediately replaced. If the woman names an independent counsel, it’s going to appear she was intimidated. And if she doesn’t, she’s defending the president.More [08/17/2007 12:08:00]
Matt Murdock: Her name's Elektra Natchios.
Franklin 'Foggy' Nelson: Well, she sounds like a Mexican appetizer.
Matt Murdock: It's Greek, genius. Her father's Nikolas Natchios.
Franklin 'Foggy' Nelson: The billionaire?
Matt Murdock: Yeah, see? The billionaire.
Franklin 'Foggy' Nelson: Well, then as your attorney in this matter I advise you to marry the woman immediately.More [08/19/2007 12:08:00]
I do not question that the attorney general should have this immunity. But for tactical reasons, I would not raise the issue here.More [08/29/2007 12:08:00]
The things that I said in the 1985 memo were a true expression of my views at the time from my vantage point as an attorney in the Solicitor General’s office. But that was 20 years ago and a great deal has happened in the case law since then.More [08/29/2007 12:08:00]
[Harry is getting a dressing-down for his most recent arrest]
District Attorney Rothko: You're lucky I'm not indicting you for assault with intent to commit murder.
Harry Callahan: What?
District Attorney Rothko: Where the hell does it say that you've got a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the Fourth Amendment. What I'm saying is that man had rights.
Harry Callahan: Well, I'm all broken up over that man's rights!More [09/12/2007 12:09:00]
Harry Callahan: You know, you're crazy if you think you've heard the last of this guy. He's gonna kill again.
District Attorney Rothko: How do you know?
Harry Callahan: 'Cause he likes it.More [09/12/2007 12:09:00]
Harry Callahan: Are you trying to tell me that ballistics can't match the bullet up to this rifle?
District Attorney Rothko: It does not matter what ballistics can do. This rifle might make a nice souvenir. But it's inadmissible as evidence.
Harry Callahan: And who says that?
District Attorney Rothko: It's the law.
Harry Callahan: Well, then the law is crazy.More [09/12/2007 12:09:00]
“[Santa Barbara County Deputy District Attorney Gordon Auchincloss said the documentary] ignited a fireball of negative publicity ... an international object of loathing.”More [10/01/2007 12:10:00]
Michael Moore: Meet John Ashcroft. In 2000, he was running for re-election as Senator from Missouri against a man who died the month before the election. The voters preferred the dead guy, so George W. Bush made him his Attorney General. He was sworn in on a stack of Bibles, 'cause when you can't beat a dead guy, you need all the help you can get.More [10/28/2007 12:10:00]
Galloway: But my feeling is that if this case is handled in the same fast-food, slick-ass ' Persian Bazaar manner with which you seem to handle everything else, something's gonna get missed. And I wouldn't be doing my job if I allowed Dawson and Downey to spend any more time in prison than absolutely necessary, because their attorney had pre-determined the path of least resistance.
Kaffee: Wow... I'm sexually aroused, Commander.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
[upon first meeting]
Galloway: You're the attorney division assigned?
Kaffee: I'm lead counsel, and this is Sam Weinberg.
Lt. Weinberg: I have no responsibilities here whatsoever.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
Gandhi: [in South Africa] You mean you can appoint Mr. Baker as your attorney but you can't walk down the street with him?
Kahn: Well, I can, but I risk being kicked into the gutter by someone less holy than Mr. Baker.More [12/08/2007 12:12:00]
Tom Hagen: I'm an attorney for the Corleone family. These men are private detectives hired to protect Vito Corleone. They are licensed to carry firearms. If you interfere you'll have to appear before a judge in the morning and show cause.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Dr. Chumley: This sister of yours is at the bottom of a conspiracy against you. She's trying to persuade me to lock you up. Today, she had commitment papers drawn up. She has your power of attorney and the key to your safety box, and she brought you here!
Elwood P. Dowd: My sister did all that in one afternoon. That Veta certainly is a whirlwind, isn't she?More [02/11/2008 12:02:00]
Peter Banning: Hook, you let those kids out of that net in less than one minute or you better get an attorney and hope to God he's better than me.
Captain Hook: Who are you?
Peter Banning: I'm Peter Banning, Attorney at Law, these are my children and I want them back.
Captain Hook: These are your...
Peter Banning: Children.
Captain Hook: These are your children.
Peter Banning: Yes they are.
Captain Hook: And you are?
Peter Banning: Peter.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes?
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No.
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: You're Peter?
Peter Banning: Yes. Is there an echo in here? Yes.
Captain Hook: My great and worthy opponent?
Peter Banning: Yes.
Captain Hook: No! Smee, who is this impostor?More [03/26/2008 12:03:00]
Miles' Receptionist: You have a discovery hearing at five thirty for the Maxine Gopnick case.
Miles Massey: Discovery? Gopnick?
Miles' Receptionist: And a Lance Kelso called. He read your article about palimony settlements...
Miles Massey: Lance Kelso.
Miles' Receptionist: In same-sex partnerships and would like to schedule an appointment.
Miles Massey: Same-sex.
Miles' Receptionist: Arthur Yardumian and his tax attorney want to reschedule their caucus for tomorrow.
Miles Massey: Yardumian?
Miles' Receptionist: Arthur had to fly to Atlanta for a deadbeat dad hearing.
Miles Massey: Atlanta.
Miles' Receptionist: And your 10:30 is here: Rex Rexroth.
Miles Massey: Rex Rexroth?More [04/21/2008 12:04:00]
Harry P. Archer: [Addressing the court] Seldom in my long career as an attorney have I ever encountered a man who can claim no virtue. But I say to you, you have such a man in your courtroom today. Cold-blooded and ruthless, unmoved by the pain he has caused, Kenneth Marquis smugly sits there gloating. And a poor, loyal, trusting girl suffers. A girl, I say, and yet, she is little more than a child, innocent, and unworldly. Kenneth Marquis treated her like dirt, your honor. And from the moment they were married, yes, even on her bridal night, insults and injuries were heaped upon her.
Kenneth Marquis: [to his attorney] Included in that heap was a 50 foot schooner and a string of pearls. To say nothing of a blond mink, a silver blue mink, and a rainbow mink. Bless her furry little heart. Much as I dislike that poisonous wench, I'm beginning to dislike that attorney of hers even more, if possible.More [06/16/2008 12:06:00]
Thorne Jamison: [seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph] See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want?
Audrey: I want you.
Thorne Jamison: Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface.
Audrey: Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake.
Thorne Jamison: I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place
Audrey: You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me.
Thorne Jamison: Right.More [07/11/2008 12:07:00]
Sarah Wendling: Young lady, give your father a message from me that he's being disposessed.
Barbara Shea: Oh, you can't!
Sarah Wendling: I'm tearing the hotel down.
Barbara Shea: But he paid his rent!
Sarah Wendling: He's violated his lease by having all sorts of animals on the premises. He'll save himself a lot of trouble by getting right out.
Roger Wendling: I'll have something to say about this.
Sarah Wendling: I'm afraid you will not, as our attorney will inform you. Furthermore, Roger, if you continue your association with this woman...
Roger Wendling: Continue it? I was just trying to get her to make it permanent!More [07/29/2008 12:07:00]
[referring to a newspaper headline which reads "'Get Out of Town' District Attorney Tells Beer Barons"]

B.H. 'Butch' Owens:
That's bad publicity for my business!

New York City Dist. Atty. Brent:
You've been reading the funny papers again, Owens.

B.H. 'Butch' Owens:
Look here, Brent, you can't get away with this! You can't put me...

New York City Dist. Atty. Brent:
I can't... but I will. You and every rat that hasn't found a hole to crawl into when that deadline is up.

B.H. 'Butch' Owens:
I've heard that before - just around election time.

New York City Dist. Atty. Brent:
Yes, but get this, Owens - you're a candidate right now for that "hot seat" at The Big House. And if you're in town by this time tomorrow, you're as good as elected.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Deeds and attorney Cedar shake hands in parting]

Longfellow Deeds:
Even his hands are oily.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Chief Painter:
When are you gonna start talking straight?

Michael Shayne:
Not until my attorney gets out of law school!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Who killed Thursby?

Sam Spade:
I don't know.

Perhaps you don't, but you could make an excellent guess.

Sam Spade:
My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to make guesses in front of a district attorney, and an assistant district attorney and a stenographer.

Why shouldn't you, if you have nothing to conceal?

Sam Spade:
Everybody has something to conceal.

I'm a sworn officer of the law, 24 hours a day, and neither formality nor informality justifies you withholding evidence of crime from me. Except, of course, on constitutional grounds.

Sam Spade:
[ranting] Now, both you and the police have as much as accused me of being mixed up in the other night's murders. Well, I've had trouble with both of you before. And as far as I can see my best chance of clearing myself of the trouble you're trying to make for me, is by bringing in the murderers all tied up. And the only chance I've got of catching them, and tying them up, and bringing them in, is by staying as far away as possible from you and the police, because you'd only gum up the works.

[turns to stenographer]

Sam Spade:
You getting this alright, son, or am i goin' too fast for ya?

No sir, I'm getting it alright.

Sam Spade:
Good work.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The death of Harold Jackson, well-known attorney, is another link in the chain of mysterious crimes known as "The Purple Death Murders." In each case a subtle unknown poison has been found in the blood stream of the dead men and each victim clutched in his hand a jeweled scarab. The scarab, ironically, was the symbol of eternal life among the ancients. It is significant that all of the murdered men were actively or financially connected with a recent scientific expedition into the ancient Mayan ruins of Central America. The authorities are completely baffled and the Mayor has called District Attorney Grant Gardner to appear before a meeting in the office of Police Commissioner Dryden.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Cyrus Maldor:
Tell me, where are they keeping Hillman?

Gail Richards:
If I knew, I wouldn't tell you. Fortunately, only the District Attorney knows.

Dr. Cyrus Maldor:
I had thought that you would say that, but I have the means of making you tell me the truth. This contains an extract of groofula jungle flower, which is a very efficient truth serum. Under its influence, you will tell me anything I want to know. Unfortunately for you, the effects never wear off and you'll spend the rest of your life in an insane asylum - a hopeless idiot!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
George Fellsinger:
Gert didn't hate you. Gert just didn't care for you. There's a difference. She would have walked out on you if she'd have found somebody permanent. She wouldn't frame you when she was dying. She was no prize package, but she wouldn't frame you. Madge framed you. Madge wanted to hook you, and when she found she couldn't have you, she framed you, sent you up for life. We both know that.

Vincent Parry:
My attorney couldn't shake her story. Maybe someday she'll get run over or something.

George Fellsinger:
That's what I pray for every night.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Judge Monte Stanton:
Pillsbury is guilty. As Attorney General of this state, it's my job to prosecute.

Willie Stark:
Judge, you talk like Pillsbury was human. He isn't. He's a thing. You don't prosecute an adding machine if a spring goes busted and makes a mistake. You fix it. Well, I fixed him.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
District Attorney Ralph Munsey:
Take it easy, Reese. Things are tough all over. Pretty soon a man won't be able to sell his own mother.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Luke is acting as Laura's defense attorney in Jennifer's mock trial... ]

Luke Spencer:
Gentlemen of the jury, look at this defendant. Just look into those eyes - clear, blue, like deep wells of sapphire. And the skin, check out that skin - smooth as marble, and yet coursing with the heat and passion of life. This woman is not only beautiful, she's courageous - she would risk her life for love. This woman would use her remarkable intellect to question all the great philosophies of the planet, and to figure out all the mysteries. This woman could break your heart with a smile, and she could melt your anger with a touch. This woman is as close to perfect as anything on this earth. Gentlemen, something this passionate, this loving, this perfect, cannot be guilty.

[Later... ]

Jennifer Smith:
Has the jury reached a verdict?

We have, your honor. We find the defendant not guilty...

Luke Spencer:

By reason of being too beautiful.

Luke Spencer:
And that's right!

Jennifer Smith:
Typical male jury.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Coffin Ed:
What the hell do the attorney general, the state department, or even the President of the United States know about one god-damn thing that's going on up here in Harlem?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Frank Serpico:
I'm a marked man in this department. For what?

District Attorney Tauber:
I've already arranged a transfer for ya'.

Frank Serpico:
To where? China?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Howard Simons:
Then can we use their names?

Carl Bernstein:

Ben Bradlee:
Goddammit, when is somebody going to go on the record in this story? You guys are about to write a story that says the former Attorney General, the highest-ranking law enforcement officer in this country, is a crook! Just be sure you're right.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
These are those four outlines submitted by Universal for an hour series. You needn't bother to read them; I'll tell them to you. The first one is set at a large Eastern law school, presumably Harvard. The series is irresistibly entitled "The New Lawyers." The running characters are a crusty-but-benign ex-Supreme Court justice, presumably Oliver Wendell Holmes by way of Dr. Zorba; there's a beautiful girl graduate student; and the local district attorney who is brilliant and sometimes cuts corners. The second one is called "The Amazon Squad." The running characters include a crusty-but-benign police lieutenant who's always getting heat from the commissioner; a hard-nosed, hard-drinking detective who thinks women belong in the kitchen; and the brilliant and beautiful young girl cop who's fighting the feminist battle on the force. Up next is another one of those investigative reporter shows. A crusty-but-benign managing editor who's always gett...

[Diana cuts her off]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
Tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna sit right here and talk about it. Now if you get tired of talking here, Mr. Marshal Elving Patrick there will hand you one of them subpoenas he's got stuck down in his pocket and we'll go downstairs and talk in front of the grand jury... Elliot? Jim?... Fine. All right, Elving, hand whichever one of these fellas you like a subpoena and we'll go on downstairs and talk in front of the grand jury.

District Attorney James A. Quinn:
Gallagher's a government witness.

James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
Wonderful thing, a subpoena.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
You had a leak? You call what's goin' on around here a leak? Boy, the last time there was a leak like this, Noah built hisself a boat.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
Now we'll talk all day if you want to. But, come sundown, there's gonna be two things true that ain't true now. One is that the United States Department of Justice is goin' to know what in the good Christ - e'scuse me, Angie - is goin' on around here. And the other's I'm gonna have somebody's ass in muh briefcase.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
What'd you figure you'd do after government service, Elliott?

Elliott Rosen:
I'm not quitting.

James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
You ain't no Presidential appointee, Elliott. One that hired you is me. You got thirty days.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General:
We can't have people go around leaking stuff for their own reasons. It ain't legal. And worse than that, by God it ain't right.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Marshall found the name and phone number of Big Guy's attorney in Bootsie's address book.

I couldn't help it. It was lyin' open in her purse.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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