statistics

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statistics

Like dreams, statistics are a form of wish fulfillment.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He used statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts; for support rather than illumination.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Often statistics are used as a drunken man uses lamp posts... for support rather than illumination.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Lady Bracknell: I don't know whether there is anything particularly exciting about the air in this particular part of Hartfortshire, but the number of engagements that go on seem to me to be considerably above the proper average that statistics have laid down for our guidance.More [04/20/2007 12:04:00]
James Bond: You'll kill 60,000 people uselessly.
Auric Goldfinger: Hah. American motorists kill that many every two years.
James Bond: Yes, well, I've worked out a few statistics of my own. 15 billion dollars in gold bullion weighs 10,500 tons. Sixty men would take twelve days to load it onto 200 trucks. Now, at the most, you're going to have two hours before the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines move in and make you put it back.
Auric Goldfinger: Who mentioned anything about removing it?
[Bond is stunned into silence]
Auric Goldfinger: The julep tart enough for you?
James Bond: You plan to break into the world's largest bank, but not to steal anything. Why?
Auric Goldfinger: Go on, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: [thinking] Mr. Ling, the Red Chinese at the factory, he's a specialist in nuclear fission... but of course! His government's given you a bomb.
Auric Goldfinger: I prefer to call it an "atomic device." It's small, but particularly dirty.
James Bond: Cobalt and iodine?
Auric Goldfinger: Precisely.
James Bond: Well, if you explode it in Fort Knox, the... the entire gold supply of the United States would be radioactive for... fifty-seven years.
Auric Goldfinger: Fifty-eight, to be exact.
James Bond: I apologize, Goldfinger. It's an inspired deal! They get what they want, economic chaos in the West. And the value of your gold increases many times.
Auric Goldfinger: I conservatively estimate, ten times.
James Bond: Brilliant.More [12/28/2007 12:12:00]
[Norton, Keyes's boss, has just tried, unsuccessfully, to convince a client that her husband's death was a suicide]



Barton Keyes:
You know, you, uh, oughta take a look at the statistics on suicide some time. You might learn a little something about the insurance business.



Edward S. Norton:
Mister Keyes, I was RAISED in the insurance business.



Barton Keyes:
Yeah, in the front office. Come now, you've never read an actuarial table in your life, have you? Why they've got ten volumes on suicide alone. Suicide by race, by color, by occupation, by sex, by seasons of the year, by time of day. Suicide, how committed: by poison, by firearms, by drowning, by leaps. Suicide by poison, subdivided by TYPES of poison, such as corrosive, irritant, systemic, gaseous, narcotic, alkaloid, protein, and so forth. Suicide by leaps, subdivided by leaps from high places, under the wheels of trains, under the wheels of trucks, under the feet of horses, from STEAMBOATS. But, Mr. Norton: Of all the cases on record, there's not one single case of suicide by leap from the rear end of a moving train. And you know how fast that train was going at the point where the body was found? Fifteen miles an hour. Now how can anybody jump off a slow-moving train like that with any kind of expectation that he would kill himself? No, no soap, Mr. Norton. We're sunk, and we'll have to pay through the nose, and you know it.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Barton Keyes:
The job I'm talking about takes brains and integrity. It takes more guts than there is in 50 salesmen. It's the hottest job in the business... Desk job? Is that all you can see in it? Just a hard chair to park your pants on from 9 to 5, huh? Just a pile of papers to shuffle around and five sharp pencils and a scratch pad to make figures on. Maybe a little doodling on the side. Well, that's not the way I look at it, Walter. To me, a claims man is a surgeon. That desk is an operating table. And those pencils are scalpels and bone chisels. And those papers are not just forms and statistics and claims for compensation, they're alive, they're packed with drama, with twisted hopes and crooked dreams. A claims man, Walter, is a doctor and a bloodhound... and a cop and a judge and a jury and a father confessor all in one. And you want to tell me you're not interested. You don't want to work with your brains. All you wanna work is with your finger on the doorbell, for a few bucks more a week.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Parkinson:
I would like not to be included in your statistics if you don't mind, my only immediate problem is the egg custard.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[While being measured at the health spa.]



Vinny:
If you'd like me to provide you with some vital statistics that can't be measured in a public place, I'd be happy to do so.



Female Attendant:
You mean your IQ?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Rita Simcock:
How would you like it if you were described as an ex-company-director, five foot nine, with greying black hair, bloodshot eyes, vital statistics 29-36-5-31!



Ted Simcock:
What's the five?



Rita Simcock:
What do you think?



Ted Simcock:
Rita! I mean... that's extremely personal and very insulting... and inaccurate. I mean... really!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bill Hicks:
But I'll tell you this. Where's this idea that childbirth is a miracle came from. Ha, I missed that fucking meeting, okay? "It's a miracle, childbirth is a miracle." No it's not. No more than a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. It's a chemical reaction, that's all it fucking is. If, you wanna know what a miracle is: raisin' a kid that doesn't talk in a movie theatre. Okay, there, there, there is a goddam miracle. It's not a miracle if every nine months any yin yang in the world can drop a litter of these mewling cabbages on our planet. And just in case you haven't seen the single mom statistics lately, the miracle is spreading like wild-fire. "Hallelujah!" Trailer parks and council flats all over the world just filling up with little miracles. Thunk, thunk, thunk, like frogs laying eggs. "Thunk, look at all my little miracles, thunk, filling up my trailer like a sardine can. Thunk. You know what would be a real miracle, if I could remember your daddy's name, aargh, thunk. I guess I'll have to call you Lorry Driver Junior. Thunk. That's all I remember about your daddy was his fuzzy little pot-belly riding on top of me shooting his caffeine ridden semen into my belly to produce my little water-headed miracle baby, urgh. There's your brother, Pizza Delivery Boy Junior."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Librarian:
Brain Memory Library. Can I help you?



Osmosis:
You got any information about something called "El Morry Roho"?



Librarian:
Stand by. I'll check, but we're really all about sports statistics here.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Max is still hallucinating on Valkyr, and encounters the same note as before]



Max Payne:
There was something disturbingly familiar about the note on the desk. The handwriting was all pretty curves.



Michelle Payne:
[the note reads] You're in a computer game, Max.



Max Payne:
The truth was like a green crack through my brain. Weapon statistics floating in the air, glimpsed out of the corner of my eye. the repetitious act of shooting, time slowing down to show off my moves. The paranoid feeling of someone controlling my every step. I was in a computer game. Funny as Hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Frank:
Jerry, are you a statistics major or something?



Jerry:
Actually I am. Minoring in Hebrew science.



Frank:
Well, I didn't know that. Because you didn't tell me. Now I look like a jackass.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Congressman Alex Shrub:
Those statistics are interesting, but like all statistics, they are also irrelevant.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jacob:
We just want to change the statistics a bit.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
People with fertility problems are not alone. It is a very very common problem for couples today. I've seen statistics that are just staggering.More [07/15/2011 03:07:12]
We were not given any statistics as to how many records were pressed on the blue label. I used to ask Bob Shad how we were going to get paid from record sales and what I got for an answer was not to worry about the business end of the deal.More [08/12/2011 06:08:29]
I can prove anything by statistics except the truth.More [09/26/2011 11:09:22]
There are some scary statistics out there: one in five kids aged 10-17 have received a sexual solicitation or approach via the Internet.More [09/01/2013 09:09:46]
Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be taken seriously. Yet most of the important things in life cannot be precisely defined or measured. Can we define or measure love, beauty, friendship, or decency, for example?More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you're a dead man? You go to work.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
The ownership of computers in the home is far less than the statistics show, because usually when the computer breaks down once, that is the end of it for a long, long time. They do not have the money or incentive to get the computer repaired.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I'm doing everything that I can, working with experts, really studying the statistics to figure out a way we can make it cool or normal to be kind and loving.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
We all know that Americans love their statistics - in sport, obviously. And in finance too.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I thought the divorce statistics would never apply to me. I was beyond heartbroken when they did. But I got up and got on with it. I also kept my belief in marriage.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
They read their sports pages, know their statistics and either root like hell or boo our butts off. I love it. Give me vocal fans, pro or con, over the tourist types who show up in Houston or Montreal and just sit there.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I think all of us certainly believed the statistics which said that probably 88% chance of mission success and maybe 96% chance of survival. And we were willing to take those odds.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
In baseball, my theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted, if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Our scientific age demands that we provide definitions, measurements, and statistics in order to be taken seriously. Yet most of the important things in life cannot be precisely defined or measured. Can we define or measure love, beauty, friendship, or decency, for example?More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up and the kind you make upMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics are no substitute for judgmentMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics are people with the tears wiped from their eyesMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you want to inspire confidence, give plenty of statistics. It does not matter that they should be accurate, or even intelligible, as long as there is enough of them.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Consumers are statistics. Customers are people.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Facts in books, statistics in encyclopedias, the ability to use them in men's heads.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
No historian can take part with--or against--the forces he has to study. To him even the extinction of the human race should merely be a fact to be grouped with other vital statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
43% of all statistics are worthless.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Consumers are statistics, customers are people.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics is like a Bikini; what is revealed is suggestive, but what is concealed is vital.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
there are lies, damned lies and statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You cannot feed the hungry on statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Utility is our national shibboleth: the savior of the American businessman is fact and his uterine half-brother, statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
As things stand, there is no consistent evidence that there is an increased risk of cancer associated with mobile phone use, but we need to recognise that the statistics are not enormous. The number of people who have had long-term use of phones (and cancer) is really small,More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We don't have any hard statistics yet on all the damage done by Hurricane Katrina. Apparently the damage was minimal in the major cotton-producing areas of Mississippi and Louisiana.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The stronger data virtually assure significant changes in the Fed's directive this week. The new directive will probably include a grudging acknowledgement of the stronger labor market and inflation statistics.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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