laughter

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laughter

Laughter on American television has taken the place of the chorus in Greek tragedy. In other countries, the business of laughing is left to the viewers. Here, their laughter is put on the screen, integrated into the show. It is the screen that is laughing and having a good time. You are simply left alone with your consternation.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Do not judge from mere appearances; for the lift laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over the depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace and joy. The bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and many a blithe heart dances under coarse wool.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The old idea that the joke was not good enough for the company has been superseded by the new aristocratic idea that the company was not worthy of the joke. They have introduced an almost insane individualism into that one form of intercourse which is specially and uproariously communal. They have made even levities into secrets. They have made laughter lonelier than tears.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Danger lies in the writer becoming the victim of his own exaggeration, losing the exact notion of sincerity, and in the end coming to despise truth itself as something too cold, too blunt for his purpose -- as, in fact, not good enough for his insistent emotion. From laughter and tears the descent is easy to sniveling and giggles.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The two best physicians of them all -- Dr. Laughter and Dr. Sleep.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- that myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -- That hope always triumphs over experience -- That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There exists a kind of laughter which is worthy to be ranked with the higher lyric emotions and is infinitely different from the twitching of a mean merrymaker.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I can prove at any time that my education tried to make another person out of me than the one I became. It is for the harm, therefore, that my educators could have done me in accordance with their intentions that I reproach them; I demand from their hands the person I now am, and since they cannot give him to me, I make of my reproach and laughter a drumbeat sounding in the world beyond.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The weeping of an heir is laughter in disguise.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There is a form of laughter that springs from the heart, heard every day in the merry voice of childhood, the expression of a laughter -- loving spirit that defies analysis by the philosopher, which has nothing rigid or mechanical in it, and totally without social significance. Bubbling spontaneously from the heart of child or man. Without egotism and full of feeling, laughter is the music of life.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There is a kind of laughter that sickens the soul. Laughter when it is out of control: when it screams and stamps its feet, and sets the bells jangling in the next town. Laughter in all its ignorance and cruelty. Laughter with the seed of Satan in it. It tramples upon shrines; the belly-roarer. It roars, it yells, it is delirious: and yet it is as cold as ice. It has no humor. It is naked noise and naked malice.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There are in every generation those who shrink from the ultimate sacrifice, but there are in every generation those who make it with joy and laughter and these are the salt of the generations.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
That laughter costs too much which is purchased by the sacrifice of decency.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The truth is, laughter always sounds more perfect than weeping. Laughter flows in a violent riff and is effortlessly melodic. Weeping is often fought, choked, half strangled, or surrendered to with humiliation.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. And that was all his patrimony.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth, with the fire dead, the laughter stilled and the light extinguished.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms -- hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
All the racial jokes and so on are so over-the-top that's the only way they can work. If they weren't, then you'd really have a problem, ... Because they're so ridiculous and over-the-top and because the character's so ridiculous, then actually it gets that kind of gasping, screaming laughter from everybody, which is good -- or we haven't had any problems, nobody's felt hurt, thank God.More [05/18/2006 12:05:00]
There were mornings in the make-up trailer where I'd have fits of laughter because of the extraordinary daily events of the shoot. Sometimes, it was all too much to believe. But the wildest things happened.More [09/15/2006 12:09:00]
Neither one of us have a dainty laugh, so there's just peels of laughter coming from the set all the time and I love that. I love it, love it, love it, love it.More [10/15/2006 12:10:00]
Jasper: [as they meet up to discuss their plan for Cruella's coat] Ah, ma'am, what a beautiful day it is out there! Sun shining, blue skies, laughter of schoolchildren playing...
Cruella De Vil: Get *on* with it, you *imbecile*!More [03/28/2007 12:03:00]
Eleanor "Nell" Vance: HE KILLED THEM. Hugh Crane. It's just like you said; He wanted to fill the house with the laughter of children. He took from mills and brought them here, but he wouldn't let them go. HE WOULD NEVER LET THEM GO.More [04/03/2007 12:04:00]
Janice Pettiboe: It's a Rockwellian Christmas up here. Skating. Barbecues. Snow. We're here with defenseman Matt Marden, and... cut!
Charles Danner: What?
Janice Pettiboe: I can't feel my fingers.
'Skank' Marden: You need to rub 'em on a nice, warm Yuletide log.
Janice Pettiboe: I beg your pardon?
'Skank' Marden: Look, Christmas is a lonely day for a guy to be chokin' his own chicken. And as women reporters go, I find you supple.
Janice Pettiboe: Oh, that was lovely. It's a shame we weren't rolling for that.
Charles Danner: I'm sure he'd be happy to repeat it.
'Skank' Marden: [laughing] You need to relax!
Janice Pettiboe: Charles!
'Skank' Marden: Do you like massages?
[Skank leans over, bursting into laughter again]More [04/04/2007 12:04:00]
Dominick Pilla: [imitating Cpt. Steele] We are on the ten yard line men, can you count 'em? One, Two, Ten! I need my runningbacks hoo-ah!
[men respond with laughter and "hoo-ah!"]
Dominick Pilla: Didn't see you in church on Sunday soldier, you got somethin' better to do? I don't think so, I will make you believe!More [04/26/2007 12:04:00]
Our revenge will be the laughter of our children.More [03/21/2008 12:03:00]
Lucy Weston:
Lofty timbers, the walls around are bare, echoing to our laughter as though the dead were there... Quaff a cup to the dead already, hooray for the next to die!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Rebecca Femm:
They were all godless here. They used to bring their women here - brazen, lolling creatures in silks and satins. They filled the house with laughter and sin, laughter and sin. And if I ever went down among them, my own father and brothers - they would tell me to go away and pray, and I prayed - and left them with their lustful red and white women.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Judge:
What's your name?



Rosette Henrietta LaRue:
Rosette Henrietta LaRue! Occupation: hipswinging!


[the court erupts in laughter]



Judge:
Now, Miss LaRue, just what constitutes a striptease?



Rosette Henrietta LaRue:
A good constitution and a couple of zippers.


[the court erupts in laughter again]



Judge:
Don't be ambiguous.



Rosette Henrietta LaRue:
Oh, I won't if you won't.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bottom:
I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream; past the wit of man to say what dream it was. Methought I was - -man is but an ass if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was - -and methought I had - -man is but a patched fool if he will offer to say


[chuckling]



Bottom:
what methought I was and what methought I had.


[breaks into uncontrollable laughter and suddenly brays like a jackass]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Egbert Floud:
[pouring champagne] What you want is... is... is... some more of this imprisoned laughter of the pleasant maids of France.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Abe Lincoln:
[cross-examining John Cass] Well, I guess I'll just call you Jack-ass.


[Roar of laughter from spectators]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Committee Member:
Mr. Rockne, couldn't football be replaced by some other game? Something less violent?



Knute Rockne:
Well, what game would you suggest?



Committee Member:
Well, hockey, for instance.


[This answer is greeted by raucous laughter in the committee room]



Knute Rockne:
Why, as a matter of fact, I suggested that very idea to Father Callahan, our president. He was downright interested until we came to the use of sticks, and then he threw up his hands. He said, "No... , that game is not for our university. Notre Dame will never endorse any game that puts a club in the hands of an Irishman."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Caroline Bingley:
...and her sisters Jane and Elizabeth were seen running down Market Street in an attempt to escape their disgrace. Isn't that exquisitely funny, Mr. Darcy?



Mr. Darcy:
Exquisitely. Just think how you would roar with laughter if it happened to yourself.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Thomas Colpeper, JP:
Well, there are more ways than one of getting close to your ancestors. Follow the old road, and as you walk, think of them and of the old England. They climbed Chillingbourne Hill, just as you. They sweated and paused for breath just as you did today. And when you see the bluebells in the spring and the wild thyme, and the broom and the heather, you're only seeing what their eyes saw. You ford the same rivers. The same birds are singing. When you lie flat on your back and rest, and watch the clouds sailing, as I often do, you're so close to those other people, that you can hear the thrumming of the hoofs of their horses, and the sound of the wheels on the road, and their laughter and talk, and the music of the instruments they carried. And when I turn the bend in the road, where they too saw the towers of Canterbury, I feel I've only to turn my head, to see them on the road behind me.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lnes]



Narrator:
We bring you the circus, pied piper whose magic tunes greet children of all ages, from six to 60, into a tinsel and spun-candy world of reckless beauty and mounting laughter and whirling thrills; of rhythm, excitement and grace; of blaring and daring and dance; of high-stepping horses and high-flying stars. But behind all this, the circus is a massive machine whose very life depends on discipline and motion and speed. A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it "The Greatest Show on Earth."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Dubuque:
You believe in liberty. You know it's being strangled.



Andre Moreau:
I also believe in laughter and I know the world is mad.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Nefretiri:
[approaches Rameses as he is praying to an idol over his dead son] How many more days and nights will you pray? Does he hear you?



Rameses:
[praying] Dread Lord of Darkness, I have raised my voice to you, yet life has not come to the body of my son. Hear me!



Nefretiri:
He cannot hear you. He's nothing but a piece of stone with the head of a bird.



Rameses:
He *will* hear me. For I am Egypt.



Nefretiri:
Egypt? You are nothing. You let Moses kill my son. No god can bring him back. What have you done to Moses? How did he die? Did he cry for mercy when you tortured him? Bring me to his body! I want to see it, Rameses! I want to see it!



Rameses:
This is my son. He would have been Pharaoh and would have ruled the world. Who mourns him now? Not even you. All you can think of is Moses. You will not see his body. I drove him out of Egypt. I cannot fight the power of his God.



Nefretiri:
*His* God? The priests say that Pharaoh is a god. But you are not a god. You are even less than a man. Listen to me, Rameses. You thought I was evil when I went to Moses. And you were right. Shall I tell you what happened, Rameses? He spurned me like a strumpet in the street. I, Nefretiri, Queen of Egypt! All that you wanted from me he would not even take! Do you hear laughter Pharaoh? *Not* the laughter of kings, but the laughter of slaves on the desert island!



Rameses:
Laughter? Laughter? My son I shall build your tomb upon their crushed bodies. If any escape me, their seed shall be spattered and acursed forever. My armor! The war crown! Laughter? I will turn the laughter of these slaves into wails of torment! They *shall* remember the name of Moses! Only that he died under my chariot wheels!



Nefretiri:
Kill him with your own hands!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter]



Johnny Carson:
I didn't even know you were Jewish!


[uproarious laughter continues]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Germanicus:
[in the Senate of Rome] Antony! Stay not too long in Alexandria!


[general laughter from the rest of the Senate]



Caesar Augustus:
Germanicus, stay not too long in Rome.


[the Senate laughs even louder as Germanicus leaves]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Gwendolyn Pigeon:
It's like Equatorial Africa on our side of the building.



Cecily Pigeon:
Well, last night it was so bad, Gwen and I sat there in Nature's own cooling ourselves in front of the open fridge. Can you imagine such a thing?



Oscar Madison:
Well, I'm working on it.


[laughter from the ladies]



Gwendolyn Pigeon:
Actually, it's impossible to get a night's sleep. Ces and I really don't know what to do about it.



Oscar Madison:
Why don't you sleep with an air conditioner?



Gwendolyn Pigeon:
Well, we haven't got one.



Oscar Madison:
I know, but we have.


[more peals of laughter from the ladies]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Senses Taker:
Names! I must have your names before you can proceed!



Milo:
Well, uh, this is the Humbug.



Senses Taker:
Humbug.



Milo:
This is Tock.



Senses Taker:
Tock.



Milo:
And my name is Milo. Now can we go?



Senses Taker:
Milo. Ooh, I haven't had an M in ages. Now then, if you will just tell me when you were born, where you were born, why you were born, how old you are, how old you were then, what grade you're in, your shoe size, shirt size, collar size, hat size, and the names and bank references of six people who can verify this information! Then you can go.



Milo:
What do you need all this for? We're in a hurry.



Senses Taker:
I'm the official Senses Taker! I must have this information before I take your senses! So, now then, if you will fill out in triplicate your height, your weight, how many ice cream cones you eat in a week, how many you don't eat in a week...



Milo:
We can't waste the time! We've got to get to the Castle in the Air!



Senses Taker:
That does it! Now, I'm going to take your sense of duty, your sense of proportion, and especially your sense of direction!



Tick Tock the Watch Dog:
Milo, the bottle of laughter! Use this bottle of laughter I got from Doctor Discord! He can't take away our sense of humor!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Thomson:
[calling for a vote] Where's Rhode Island?



McNair:
Rhode Island's out visiting the necessary.



Hancock:
Well, after what Rhode Island has consumed, I can't say I'm surprised. We'll come back to him, Mr. Thompson.



Thomson:
Rhode Island passes.


[Roar of laughter from the Congress]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Nick has just encouraged Alexis to skate and she has managed a double spin on her own]



Nick Peterson:
Whoo! Aw, baby!


[He runs to her across the ice rink]



Nick Peterson:
Aha! You did a double! Oh, my...


[They grab each other, hugging and jumping up and down, and cross-talking]



Alexis Winston:
It wasn't perfect...



Nick Peterson:
Well, it was damn good!


[He cradles her face in his hands]



Nick Peterson:
What a girl.


[Their hugs and laughter lead to a passionate kiss]



Alexis Winston:
[panting] Nick...


[Nick shakes his head, starting to speak something that sounds like "Oh" or "No..."]



Alexis Winston:
I love you. I know you don't like me very much any more... but I love you.


[He grabs her and they kiss for a long time]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Officer Leary is on the witness stand]



Officer Leary:
I told him to move on, but he continued to use profanity and he refused to leave the premises.



Judge Rayford:
What sort of profanity?



Officer Leary:
You know, the normal kind.



Judge Rayford:
Officer Leary, we've all heard these words before, now for the record what did he say?



Officer Leary:
[uncomfortably] He used...”fuck" a lot.


[quiet laughter from the gallery]



Officer Leary:
...”piss on you"...


[more laughter]



Officer Leary:
...then said he was gonna...”bung-hole the short order chef"...”cream on the waitress"...


[more laughter]



Officer Leary:
...stuff like that, Your Honor.



Dapper Defendant:
There's a very good reason for all of that, Your Honor.



Judge Rayford:
Oh? What is that?



Dapper Defendant:
I'm a diabetic.


[loud laughter from the gallery]



Judge Rayford:
I fail to see the connection. I've never heard of diabetes causing foul language!



Dapper Defendant:
That's because you're a douchebag.


[entire courtroom erupts into laughter, including Officer Leary before he catches himself and forces a poker face]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Concert Party:
[opening song] Meet the gang / 'cos the boys are here / the boys to entertain you / with music and laughter / to help you on your way / to raising the rafters / with a hey, hey, hey / with songs, sketches, and jokes old and new / with us about / you won't feel blue / so meet the gang / 'cos the boys are here / the boys to entertain you / B, O, B O Y S / boys to entertain you!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Billy:
Cherry, this is Pee Wee.



Cherry Forever:
I'll say. What do you use for a jockstrap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band?


[laughter from the other guys]



Cherry Forever:
[to Billy] You know we'd better tie a board across his ass, or he's liable to fall in.


[more laughter in background]



Cherry Forever:
[to Pee Wee] Save your energy, needle dick. You're gonna need it.



Pee Wee Morris:
[giggling] OK.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tommy Turner:
[to the rest of the guys at Cherry Forever's house] Okay, Cherry's ready. Everyone get their clothes off.



Tim:
Wait. What's this bullshit?



Billy:
She's got to make sure everybody clean. No VD.



Steve:
How's she going to tell that by looking at us?



Tommy Turner:
She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor.



Tim:
Yeah, and who's going to inspect her?


[murmurs of agreement from the rest of the guys]



Billy:
Look, you guys want to get laid or have a debate?



Pee Wee Morris:
Okay, I'm ready!


[they turn to see Pee-Wee wasted no time stripping down, then laughter of all kinds go through the crowd, which Pee-Wee ignores]



Pee Wee Morris:
I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mr. Liggett:
Now there seems to be a lot of confusion on this next question: asexual reproduction. Could someone tell me please who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex?



David Lightman:
Ah-heh.


[whispers something to a classmate]



Jennifer:
[overhearing, Jennifer starts to laugh]



Mr. Liggett:
[turns around and sees Jennifer giggling] Miss Mack! What is so amusing?



Jennifer:
I...


[Jennifer breaks up into laughter again and turns to look at David, who puts on a show of mock innocence]



Mr. Liggett:
Alright, Lightman. Maybe you could tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex.



David Lightman:
Umm... Your wife?


[the class erupts into laughter]



Mr. Liggett:
[pointing to the door] Get out, Lightman. Get out.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mark Twain:
The human race, in all its poverty, has only one truly effective weapon: laughter. Against the assault of laughter - ha-ha-ha-ha! - nothing can stand.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Cheshire Cat:
[in song] Somehow you strayed and lost your way, and now there'll be no time to play, no time for joy, no time for friends - not even time to make amends. You are too naïve if you do believe life is innocent laughter and fun.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen... Steven Wright.


[loud applause]



Steven Wright:
Thanks.


[crowd laughter]



Steven Wright:
I got a postcard from my friend George, it was a satellite picture of the entire Earth. On the back he wrote, "Wish you were here".


[crowd laughter and applause]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jorge de Burgos:
Laughter is a devilish wind which deforms, uh, the lineaments of the face and makes men look like monkeys.



William of Baskerville:
Monkeys do not laugh. Laughter is particular to men.



Jorge de Burgos:
As is sin. Christ never laughed.



William of Baskerville:
Can we be so sure?



Jorge de Burgos:
There is nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did.



William of Baskerville:
And there's nothing in the Scriptures to say that he did not. Why, even the saints have been known to employ comedy, to ridicule the enemies of the Faith. For example, when the pagans plunged St. Maurice into the boiling water, he complained that his bath was too cold. The Sultan put his hand in... scalded himself.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miss Hardbroom:
You should be finished by now girls. A laughter potion should be made quickly, in case it's needed in an emergency.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bill Hooper:
I decided they really piss me off, women.



Roger Miles:
What do you mean?



Bill Hooper:
What? All this relating. Relationships. Inter-relating.



Roger Miles:
That's what they're good at.



Bill Hooper:
Oh, don't get me wrong, I always endorsed all that. I used to argue Feminism against women. I was such a good boy, you know. I even joined the men's group once. God, that was really depressing. Endless whingeing. It's not like the women's group, they enjoy themselves. They used to meet at our flat. I used to hear them haranging one another or roaring with laughter while I was making the bloody tea. I really envied them. I knew at the time they were right to be angry. They were absolutely justified, never disputed that for a moment. All the same, they really pissed me off.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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