vacation

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vacation

A vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
No vacation goes unpunished.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The alternative to a vacation is to stay home and tip every third person you see.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The bigger the summer vacation the harder the fall.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
No one needs a vacation more than the person who just had one.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Dinky Bossetti: Once when I was six and a quarter, Mrs. Bosetti and I sat down and we talked.
Elizabeth Zaks: So, what happened?
Dinky Bossetti: Well... I told her I preferred books to dolls, boots to ballet slippers and that my idea of a family vacation was for all of us to go work on the Alaskan pipeline.More [12/22/2005 12:12:00]
Interviewer of Delos Guests: [voiceover] Why don't you make arrangements to take our hovercraft to Medieval World, Roman World and Westworld. Contact us today, or see your travel agent. Boy, have we got a vacation for you.More [12/29/2005 12:12:00]
Interviewer of Delos Guests: Hi. Ed Ramsey from Delos. If there's anyone who doesn't know what Delos is, well, as we've always said: Delos is the vacation of the future, today. At Delos, you get your choice of the vacation you want. There's Medieval World, Roman World and, of course, Westworld. Let's talk to some of the people who've been there.More [12/29/2005 12:12:00]
I honestly if I get a vacation I'm gonna go and sit on my couch in New York cause that's the one place I haven't been for a very long time.More [05/24/2006 12:05:00]
Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.More [10/23/2006 12:10:00]
Heads of studios change. The new executives at Warners feel the Vacation franchise is a little long in the tooth.More [10/23/2006 12:10:00]
I'm sitting here petting my golden lab. This place is a great release to take a vacation from everything.More [11/10/2006 12:11:00]
One of my favorite vacation places is Miami, because of the people, the water and the beach - of course - and the architecture on Miami Beach is so wonderful.More [11/16/2006 12:11:00]
Greg Focker: [high on Truth Serum, giving a speech] Hello everybody. I am, uh, about to set sail on my ship... on the sea of life with my first mate - the beautiful Pamela Byrnes.
Pam Byrnes: Love you, baby!
[blows kiss]
Greg Focker: [drunkenly blows back kiss, pauses] I still masturbate to Pam. What? She's hot - check out those boobs. I just wanna lather 'em up with soap and rub my face in 'em. I could take a vacation in there. What? Gosh, sorry you're perfect! And there's another wonderful lady in the audience, my future mother-in-law Dina Byrnes! Dina-Dina-Bo-Bina-I-love-Dina! Byrnes! You know they say you can tell from looking at the mother what your wife will look like in the future - well, I'm looking, and I'm LIKIN...
[Spies Jorge]
Greg Focker: In my first... passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabelle.
Pam Byrnes: Come on, honey, that was in the past, so sit down.
Greg Focker: No no no, baby - I gotta get this off my chest.
Pam Byrnes: Please... sit.
Greg Focker: We conceived a child. Come on up here, Jorge! This is the fruit of my loins. Come on - search your heart, you know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa! Yeah, I know, a lot of information to take in. Give that boy a hand. Oh, and Jack - Pam's pregnant. Focker out.
[passes out]More [02/23/2007 12:02:00]
Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.More [04/19/2007 12:04:00]
Dash: That was the best vacation ever! I love our family.More [05/08/2007 12:05:00]
Marjorie Houseman: It's his first real vacation in six years, Max. Take it easy.
Max: Three weeks here, it'll feel like a year.More [09/09/2007 12:09:00]
[President Bush is on vacation and is bird hunting]
George W. Bush: Did I hear somebody say "nice shot"?
Aide: Nice shot.More [10/28/2007 12:10:00]
George W. Bush: [Explaining his extended vacation time] It's amazing what can be done with telephones, faxes...More [10/28/2007 12:10:00]
Fred Flintstone: I just want my old job back and my old life. Oh and two weeks paid vacation for all the workers in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.More [11/13/2007 12:11:00]
Goofy: This is a vacation with me and my best buddy.
Max: Donald Duck?
Goofy: No, silly, with you!More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]
[Goofy and Max have stopped bickering about the car, the vacation and Max's life]
Max#: [singing] There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas, and your mind is missing, no offense, a screw.
Goofy: None taken.
Max#: [singing] Still, whatever mess I land in, who is always understandin'? Nobody else but you.
Goofy: [singing] Oh, you moodiness is now and then bewildering, and you values may be, so to speak, askew.
Max#: [spoken] Gesundheit.
Goofy: [spoken] Thanks.
[singing]
Goofy: Who deserves a hero's trophy as we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you.
Max#, Goofy: [singing in unison] Nobody else but you. It's just our luck. We're stuck together. Nobody else but you. It's crazy enough to believe we'll come through.More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]
[Miyagi has finally succeeded in catching a fly with his chopsticks - outside, Daniel drives up in the car Miyagi gave him for his birthday; it is sputtering and the fender is dented]
Mr. Miyagi: Ah, Daniel-san! Must've been some senior prom. What happened?
Daniel: You mean, what DIDN'T happen. First I let Ali borrow this car and she re-designs my fender. And I don't know what she's done to my engine, but that ain't running right either. You know what else she does? She tells me she's fallen in love with some football player from UCLA. Why couldn't she just lie to me or something?
Mr. Miyagi: Things could be worse.
Daniel: Don't worry, they are. Last night, my Mom tells me she got transferred by her company to their new branch... in FRESNO! I can't believe I gotta spend my entire summer vacation in FRESNO!
[Miyagi is examining the car, reaching under its hood]
Daniel: You're not gonna be able to fix that.
[No sooner are the words out of Daniel's mouth than Miyagi twists something around; now the engine runs perfectly]
Daniel: How'd you do that? What'd you do?More [05/21/2008 12:05:00]
I'm not sure whether Los Angeles borders on the ocean or on oblivion. I always feel that I'm two steps away from the other side when I'm out there. It's more like a vacation place or a place to visit than a place to hunker down.More [09/21/2008 12:09:00]
Barbara Barry:
It's Tony the organ grinder! And his monkey! I know who you are, you're Tony.



Tony:
Dat's a-right. Antonio's my middle name.



Barbara Barry:
I'm on a vacation. Do you want to come along?



Tony:
You a very nice-a little bambina. You go home-a to your mama, eh?



Barbara Barry:
I have no mama.



Tony:
Oh, dat's-a too bad. Den go home-a to your papa. Hey, what's your name-a?



Barbara Barry:
Betsy Weir. I used to live in an orphanage, but they were mean to me, awfully mean, and now I'm on a vacation to see new faces. Your face doesn't look very new.



Tony:
Well, it's a-good enough for me.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mr. Craig, Mary's Boss:
They liked him? They're daffy about him! Who is he? Where is he?



Mary Ford:
I don't know - just a cowboy they called "Gene."



Mr. Craig, Mary's Boss:
He'd be worth a fortune to us. Find him before somebody else hogties him.



Mary Ford:
Find him? But you said I could have a vacation!



Mr. Craig, Mary's Boss:
I said find him or you'll have a vacation -without pay.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Iakin, bearded schoolmaster:
It is not my custom to start your vacation with a lecture, but this is the summer of 1941 - a solemn time. No one of knows what will happen. I don't have to remind you that we are people with a noble history. You are expected to carry on that history with complete devotion and self-sacrifice. I think you'll do that. And now, have a happy summer.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
George Jetson:
Ready, R.U.D.I?



R.U.D.I.:
R.U.D.I's ready.



George Jetson:
Alright, what are my chances of getting a two week vacation this year?


[R.U.D.I processes, then prints out a card]



George Jetson:
"Your weight is 168 pounds". I don't get it, what's my weight got to do with getting a vacation?



R.U.D.I.:
Fat chance.



George Jetson:
Ah, what do you know, you big junk pile!


[Kicks R.U.D.I then hops around, holding his foot in pain]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Carol walks into Mike's den to show off her new ensemble for their weekend vacation at a dude ranch]



Carol Ann Brady:
What are you going to wear, Mike?



Michael 'Mike' Brady:
Oh I don't know... my cowboy boots...



Carol Ann Brady:
[in her best John Wayne impression] Well ya better wear somethin' else, or you're gonna get arrested!



Michael 'Mike' Brady:
Not to mention sunburn!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Fred "Weasel" Podowski:
How'd we get into the sex crime business anyway? My brother, Saul, a plumber, makes twice as much money as I do and gets three weeks vacation too.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



Interviewer of Delos Guests:
[hosting a commercial] Hi. Ed Ramsey from Delos. If there's anyone who doesn't know what Delos is, well, as we've always said: Delos is the vacation of the future, today. At Delos, you get your choice of the vacation you want. There's Medieval World, Roman World and, of course, Westworld. Let's talk to some of the people who've been there.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[last lines]



Interviewer of Delos Guests:
[voiceover] Why don't you make arrangements to take our hovercraft to Medieval World, Roman World and Westworld. Contact us today, or see your travel agent. Boy, have we got a vacation for you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pearl:
I prefer a warmer climate. I even lived in Australia for a year with my sister Faye, when Adam died, but I went nuts! Its dead there.



Mike:
I was in Sydney Australia once.



Pearl:
Was I lying? Did you like it?



Mike:
Well it was just a vacation you know. I was only there a coupla days.



Pearl:
Lucky. It's like a morgue. Nothing to do at night; no pizzazz. I couldn't take that.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Straker:
Oh, you're the writer. On vacation or vocation?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Alvin Seville:
[at employment agency] Well, I want a great job with three weeks paid vacation every sixth months, a birthday bash every year, time off for homework, and a starting salary of a thousand... no, no, make that *two* thousand dollars a week!



Receptionist:
Ah, you must be some top-notch whiz kid! What's your specialities?



Alvin Seville:
I do multiple wheelies on my bike!



Receptionist:
Any degrees?



Alvin Seville:
[puts his hand to his forehead] Eh, about 98.5!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Police Commissioner:
I think it would be wise if the Inspector took some time off.



Harry Callahan:
Are you suspending me, sir?



Police Commissioner:
No, I'm saying you take a vacation until this cools off.



Harry Callahan:
But I'm not up for a vacation!



Police Commissioner:
Callahan, I'm not going to fence with you. Take a few days off.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Axel Foley:
[outside the crime scene in front of Axel's apartment building after Mike is killed] Look, I heard a rumor that you're gonna use Rand on this case, and, between the two of us, the guy doesn't know the time of day.



Inspector Douglas Todd:
Don't mess with me now, Axel.



Axel Foley:
It's the first time he's left his desk in 12 years!



Inspector Douglas Todd:
At least he's had 12 years. Anyway, it's a homicide case and it belongs to Rand. Now go to the hospital!



Axel Foley:
Well, you don't mind if I ask around a little bit, do you?



Inspector Douglas Todd:
Don't do a damn thing! It's Rand's case. Your ass is skating on thin ice as it is!



Axel Foley:
Hey, look, we're talking about a friend of mine, here!



Inspector Douglas Todd:
Yes, we are, aren't we! Now, let's take a close look at that. One, a hoodlum friend. Two, a professional hit. Three, in a cop's apartment. This whole thing stinks to high heaven!



Axel Foley:
How do you know it was a professional hit?



Inspector Douglas Todd:
I didn't just walk into this town from the cotton fields! Whoever killed your friend wasn't worried about your little narrow ass. If they were, you'd be lyin' beside him in that meat wagon. Just don't do a damn thing. Stay out of this!



Axel Foley:
Well, look. I got some vacation time comin' to me. I wanna take my vacation now.



Inspector Douglas Todd:
Stay away from this case, Axel.



Axel Foley:
No, it's just that I feel I need a little vacation, that's all.



Inspector Douglas Todd:
[after pausing to think for a moment] All right. Soon as you're finished at the hospital, you're on vacation.



Axel Foley:
Thank you.



Inspector Douglas Todd:
But if you decide to butt into this case, it'd be the longest vacation you ever heard of.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Willie:
I'm trying to make this vacation more fun. You might do it yourself instead of complaining all the time.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[on a camping trip]



Willie:
One more word out of you, and you're not eating with us.



ALF:
Right. Let the alien starve.



Willie:
I think the alien could skip a meal. It might be a new experience for you!


[pause]



Willie:
How would you like your hamburger?



ALF:
Medium rare. Hold the lightning.



Willie:
How would you like to be 50% hair?



ALF:
You know, you're a different person when you're on vacation.



Willie:
I'm just trying to make this vacation fun.



ALF:
How, by drowning us?



Willie:
By trying to keep a positive attitude! You might do that yourself... INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME!



Kate:
[annoyed] Guys, please.



ALF:
Well, not everyone enjoys spending their vacation in a rainforest!



Willie:
We're in this rainforest because of you!



ALF:
I vote we go home.



Willie:
You're not voting in this.



ALF:
Call the newspapers! Democracy is dead!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Julia:
[reading aloud a letter from Dash Goff] Yesterday, in my mind's eye, I saw four women standing on a veranda in white, gauzy dresses and straw-colored hats. They were having a conversation. And it was hot. Their hankies tucked in cleavages where eternal trickles of perspiration run from the female breastbone to exotic vacation spots that southern men often dream about. They were sweet-smelling, coy, cunning, voluptuous, voracious, delicious, pernicious, vexing and sexing... these earth sister/rebel mothers... these arousers and carousers. And I was filled with a longing to join them. But like a whim of Scarlett's, they turned suddenly and went inside, shutting me out with a bolt of a latch. And I was left only to pick up an abandoned handkerchief and savor the perfumed shadows of these women... these southern women. This Suzanne. This Julia. This Mary Jo and Charlene. Thanks for the comfort, Dash Goff... the writer.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Gordie:
Maybe you could come into the college courses with me.



Chris:
Yeah right, that'll be the day.



Gordie:
Why not? You're smart enough.



Chris:
They won't let me.



Gordie:
What do you mean?



Chris:
It's what everyone thinks of my family in this town. It's what they think of me. I'm just one of those low-life Chambers kids.



Gordie:
That's not true.



Chris:
Oh, it is. No one even asked me if I took the milk money that time. I just got a three day vacation.



Gordie:
Did you take it?



Chris:
Yeah I took it! You knew I took it. Teddy knew I took it. Everyone knew I took it. Even Vern knew it, I think. But maybe I was sorry and I tried to give it back.



Gordie:
You tried to give it back?



Chris:
Maybe. Just maybe. And maybe I took it to Old Lady Simons and told her, and the money was all there. But I still got a three day vacation because it never showed up. And maybe the next week Old Lady Simons had this new suit on when she came to school.



Gordie:
Yeah, yeah it was brown and it had dots on it!



Chris:
Yeah. So let's just say that I stole the milk money, but Old Lady Simons stole it back from me. Just say that I told this story. Me, Chris Chambers, kid brother to Eyeball Chambers, do you think that anyone would've believed it?



Gordie:
No.



Chris:
And do you think that that bitch would have dared try something like that if it had been one of those douchebags from up on the view, if they had taken the money?



Gordie:
No way!



Chris:
Hell no! But with me?... I'm sure she had her eye on that skirt for a long time. Anyway, she saw her chance, and she took it. I was the stupid one for even trying to give it back.


[begins to cry]



Chris:
I just never thought a teacher... oh who gives a fuck anyway. I just wish... that I could go some place where nobody knows me. I guess I'm just a pussy, huh?



Gordie:
[comforting] No way. Shh. No way.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Crow:
Note to self: Never vacation on an active volcano.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bobo:
You bet there's something wrong! The Lawgiver went on vacation and left us with... a babysitter. Look!



Steffi:
Why won't you play with the blocks?



Observer:
I don't want to play with blocks. It's insulting! I have an infinite intellect.



Steffi:
I think you're a little crabby and you might need a time-out to think about it.



Observer:
No, I can't stand time-outs. The silence! The desolation!



Steffi:
Okay, are you going to play nice with the blocks?



Observer:
Allright, Steffi. You win... this time.



Bobo:
You see, it's horrible! And she calls me Fluffykins and treats me like an animal.



Steffi:
Hey, did you chew this?



Bobo:
Um... yes.



Steffi:
No! No chew! No. God, man... There's hair everywhere!



Bobo:
Please don't treat me like this. I'm a distinguished professor of antropology from a future where apes evolved from men.



Steffi:
No chew! Go lie down!



Bobo:
Oh, Ok.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[looking through a vacation pamphlet]



Eddie:
Look at those beaches.



Laura:
Look a those sunsets.



Rachel Crawford:
Look at those men.



Carl:
Look at that buffet.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Moe:
I've been planning this vacation for years. I'm finally going to see Easter Island.



Homer:
Oh, right, with the giant heads.



Moe:
With the what now?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Homer:
Oh, Margie, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from workey.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Judah Rosenthal:
And after the awful deed is done, he finds that he's plagued by deep-rooted guilt. Little sparks of his religious background which he'd rejected are suddenly stirred up. He hears his father's voice. He imagines that God is watching his every move. Suddenly, it's not an empty universe at all, but a just and moral one, and he's violated it. Now, he's panic-stricken. He's on the verge of a mental collapse-an inch away from confessing the whole thing to the police. And then one morning, he awakens. The sun is shining, his family is around him and mysteriously, the crisis has lifted. He takes his family on a vacation to Europe and as the months pass, he finds he's not punished. In fact, he prospers. The killing gets attributed to another person-a drifter who has a number of other murders to his credit, so I mean, what the hell? One more doesn't even matter. Now he's scott-free. His life is completely back to normal. Back to his protected world of wealth and privilege.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jump:
Yo, congratulations, Frank. Congratulations, man. Them Columbian motherfuckers, they took permanent vacation in hell, if you know what I mean.



Frank White:
Well, I must've been away too long because my feelings are dead. I feel no remorse.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tony Pope:
Tony Pope, live with Hard Core. On the scene and in your face, it's like Dante's Hell down here. Smoke, fire, oppressive heat. As columbian and Jamaican drug fiends once again transform the streets of L.A. into a slaughterhouse! Who the hell's in charge down here? The cops? Uh-uh! They're outmanned, outgunned and incompetent! Mr. Mayor, on vacation at your home in lake Tahoe: Get off your butt, get down here and declare martial law!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bob McClane:
What is it that is exactly the same about every single vacation you have ever taken?



Douglas Quaid:
I give up.



Bob McClane:
You! You're the same. No matter where you go, there you are. It's always the same old you. Let me suggest that you take a vacation from yourself. I-I know it sounds wild. It is the latest thing in travel. We call it the Ego Trip.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Louise Sawyer:
[talking about their cabin vacation in the mountains later in the day] You mean you haven't asked him yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake. Thelma, is he your husband, or your father. It's just two days for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're with me.


[grins mischieviously]



Louise Sawyer:
Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.



Thelma Dickerson:
That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bruce Wayne:
[notices Selina's injuries] What happened?



Maximillian 'Max' Shreck:
Did you injure yourself on that ski slope? Is that why you cut short your vacation and came back?



Selina Kyle:
You know, it's... a blur. I-I mean, not complete amnesia. I-I-I - I remember Sister Mary Margaret puking in church and Betsy Riley saying it was morning sickness and I remember the time I forgot to wear my underpants to school and the name of the boy who noticed was Ricky Friedberg.


[smile vanishes]



Selina Kyle:
He's dead now. But last night: complete blur. Couldn't you just die?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Plucky Duck:
There he goes, my best pal on a vacation of a lifetime. Why don't I sit here and drop alone?


[Car rushes back]



Winnie Pig:
Oops, dropped the toilet paper.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Michael:
Do you see this writing...? Do you know what it means...? Hospitality. And you can't piss on hospitality! I WON'T ALLOW IT!


[reaching for his belt]



Joshua:
What are you going to do to me, Daddy?



Michael:
Tightening my belt one loop so that I don't feel hunger pains, and your sister and mother will have to do likewise. Okay, Joshua. You wanna get rough with me? You wanna show me that you don't like the choice of this house for our vacation by going on a hunger strike? Well, I'll accept the challenge. But just remember when I was your age, I really did suffer from hunger. We'll se who gets through this, but just remember I've got more practice than you. I'll see you tomorrow.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Max:
Well, I've made up my mind. I can't risk Margaret spending her entire vacation kissing that boy... I'm sending her abroad.



Fran:
A broad? Well, if you wanna swing her that way...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Brandi:
Suitor number 3, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake or a jackhammer?



Gil Hicks:
Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.



Brodie:
Where do you come up with this shit? That's the cheesiest response to an honest question I have ever heard. I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.



Bob Summers:
[Chuckling] Suitor #2, you'll have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.



Brodie:
Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right?


[Audience laughs]



Gil Hicks:
Who the hell did you see me kiss?



Brodie:
Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was but he seemed unimpressed.



Gil Hicks:
I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay.



Brodie:
Hey, Suitorette, this guys a homophobe. You heard how repulsed he sounded. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with? This hate-monger?



Gil Hicks:
I don't hate gay people.



Brodie:
So you love them?



Gil Hicks:
Yes. I mean no.



Brodie:
Textbook closet case self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Easy Wind:
Remember when you was a kid and you would spend the whole year waiting for summer vacation and when it finally came it would fly by just like that? It's funny, Jimmy, life has a way of flying by faster than any old summer vacation really fucking does.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Paul:
See these guys? Pete, Rizzo and Sammy B? They work all day and drink all night for 40 fucking years. Two weeks out of the year, they take a vacation and go to the Cape. What do they do? They drink all day, they drink all night. If we don't step it up, we're gonna wind up just like them.



Kev:
Cool.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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