As far as many statistical series that are related to activities of mankind are concerned, the date that divides human history into two equal parts is well within living memory. The world of today is as different from the world I was born in as that world was from Julius Caesar s. I was born in the middle of human history, to date, roughly. Almost as much has happened since I was born as happened before.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
What is research, but a blind date with knowledge.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Fairy Godmother: Your fallen tears have called to me, so here comes my sweet remedy. I know what every princess needs for her to live life happily. With... just a wave of my magic wand your troubles will soon be gone. With a flick of the wrist in just a flash, you land a prince with a ton of cash, A high priced dress made by mice no less! Some crystal glass pumps and almost dressed! Worries will vanish your soul will cleanse Confide in your very own furniture friends We'll help you set a new fashion trend! I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great! The kind of gal a prince would date They'll write your name on the bathroom wall MALE VOICE: For happy ever after- give Fiona a call! A sporty carriage to ride in style. A sexy man-boy chauffer Kyle. Vanish your blemishes, tooth decay... celulite thighs will fade away A hool and a hey! Have a Bichon Frise And oh, what the hey... have a Bichon Frise! Nip and tuck here and there, to land that prince with the perfect hair. Lipstick liners, shadow blush! to get that prince with a sexy tush. Lucky day, hunk buffet For the lipstick a roll in the hay You can spoon on the moon with the prince to this tune Don't be drab, you'll be fab Your prince will have rock-hard abs Cheese souflee Valentine's Day? Have some chicken fricassee - chorus More [07/20/2005 12:07:00]
Ace Ventura: [has just finished 'singing' for Cannibal Corpse] I gotta go guys! I gotta date with your mothers!More [07/21/2005 12:07:00]
Glenn Odekirk: We installed the 450 radial, but the struts won't take the vibration. Minute we go contact, the struts start craking at the attach points.
Howard Hughes: Dammit, Odie, if the 450's too big, figure something else out!
Glenn Odekirk: We've done everything - we've rebuilt her from top to bottom. If we drain the fuel tank for a couple of runs she might make 180 mph.
Howard Hughes: I want minimum 200.
Glenn Odekirk: Yeah, well, I want a date with Theda Bara, but that ain't gonna happen either.
Howard Hughes: Don't be so sure... OK, OK, OK, this is a simple engineering problem. We just gotta think it out.
Howard Hughes: So if the struts won't sustain the engine we need - then we gotta get rid of them.
Glenn Odekirk: Then the top wing falls off.
Howard Hughes: Then let it.
Glenn Odekirk: What?
Howard Hughes: Who says we need a top wing?
Howard Hughes: Who says we need *anything*?
[Glenn is warming up to Hughes' idea]
Glenn Odekirk: A monoplane...
Howard Hughes: A cantilevered monoplane. They're doing it in France. To the hell with the top wing and the struts...
Glenn Odekirk: 550 Whitney Wasp engine...
Howard Hughes: 100 octane fuel will give us a top horsepower of - what?
Glenn Odekirk: Seven hundred.
Howard Hughes: Squeeze it to a thousand and we got the fastest plane ever built.
Glenn Odekirk: You know, I just gotta say... we've already spent over $200,000 rebuilding this plane.
Howard Hughes: To the hell with it.
Howard Hughes: Tear it up, Odie.
[Glenn takes a sledgehammer and annihilates the struts on the top wing; the top wing falls off]More [08/04/2005 12:08:00]
Bruce Wayne: [as Alfred opens the curtains] Bats are nocturnal.
Alfred Pennyworth: Bats might be, but even for billionaire playboys, three o'clock is pushing it. The price of leading a double life, I think. Look at who's made an impression.
[shows the newspaper to Bruce]
Bruce Wayne: Theatricality and deception are powerful weapons, Alfred. It's a good start.
Alfred Pennyworth: If those are to be the first of many other injuries to come, it will be wise to find a suitable excuse. Polo, for instance.
Bruce Wayne: I'm not learning polo, Alfred.
Alfred Pennyworth: Strange injuries and non-existent social life, these things beg the question as to what exactly does Bruce Wayne do with his time and his money.
Bruce Wayne: And what does that make me do?
Alfred Pennyworth: Drive sports cars, date movie stars, buy things that are not for sale... who knows, Master Wayne? You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident.More [08/15/2005 12:08:00]
Vlad: Well, now that camp's over - almost over - and we live kind of close to each other I was hoping that... we can go out sometime.
Michael: I *know* you're not asking girlfriend out for a date after all this.
Vlad: If she'll forgive me.
Michael: This boy not only has cajones, but he's got burritos and huevos rancheros too.
Ellen: [to Vlad] Okay.
Ellen: I'll go out with you.
Michael: Ellen, you're like some Jenny Jones guest!
Ellen: Michael, eventually I have to start hanging out with boys who don't wear dresses. I thought we came here to go swimming.
Ellen: You coming in?
Vlad: It's pretty cold.
Ellen: I'll take my chances.
[they jump in lake]
Ellen: It's not that cold.
Vlad: It's freezing.
Ellen: Don't be a girl - leave that to Michael.
[Michael jumps in lake]
Michael: You two are like a bad car wreck - I wash my hands of the both of you.
Ellen: Oh yeah?
Michael: Oh it's cold! Quit splashing!More [08/23/2005 12:08:00]
Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady: I have to pee.More [11/02/2005 12:11:00]
Molly the Maid: [in front of Jake, Abby's date for the evening.] Mrs. McClure! Now I need to put the meat on broil but your hair is on bake. Which should I do first?
Abby McClure: [humiliated.] I think the *hair*, Molly.
Molly the Maid: False hair, false eyelashes, false bosoms. In my day women were flesh and blood, now they're 70% nylon and 30% foam rubber.More [11/19/2005 12:11:00]
Abby McClure: Pretty, huh. Why shouldn't he date a young chick? Why take the bus when you can fly?More [11/19/2005 12:11:00]
I don't date guys that I just meet randomly. I don't feel comfortable meeting strangers.More [12/13/2005 12:12:00]
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry.
Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse?
Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror.More [01/08/2006 12:01:00]
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date. Sometimes it's better to hold out and not kiss for a long time. I am a strong believer in kissing being very intimate, and the minute you kiss, the floodgates open for everything else.More [03/17/2006 12:03:00]
This is a beautiful action thriller -- it's a great date movie -- age appropriate.More [03/23/2006 12:03:00]
I'm shooting 42.4 percent now. My character starts to date Kenya, a successful beautiful and fine woman of 2005 who puts the mandate out that she doesn't want to cross the color line, she doesn't want to date across the racial line.More [04/11/2006 12:04:00]
She'd rather find a black man if she can and her brother, played by Donald Faison, says you know, I got one for you. So he introduces me to his sister who is Kenya and we date for a while. That's all I say for now.More [04/11/2006 12:04:00]
Economists predict that this year's federal surplus will be $120 billion less than predicted in January. The missing $120 billion was reportedly last seen on a date with Congressman Gary Condit.More [05/02/2006 12:05:00]
It will happen. There is a script, but we don't have a start date yet.More [05/10/2006 12:05:00]
[Longoria has asked Hatcher to be her date to the Emmy Awards - and Hatcher accepted. (Hatcher is nominated; Longoria isn't.)] I'm going to have the hottest date at the Emmys, ... And Teri will get lucky, because I'm easy.More [06/01/2006 12:06:00]
I desperately needed a date doctor in high school.More [06/20/2006 12:06:00]
I was not allowed to date at 15, and this led to sometimes tearful protests on my part.More [08/17/2006 12:08:00]
A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.More [09/01/2006 12:09:00]
I would cancel a date on Saturday night if a test came up.More [09/12/2006 12:09:00]
I don't think men like a bad girl. Well, I haven't had a date in a year so I'm obviously doing something wrong. It's not that my standards are too high, I haven't even been asked out in a year. I have no standards, anyone, please!More [10/17/2006 12:10:00]
The release date is just one day, but the record is forever.More [02/06/2007 12:02:00]
Frank Costello: [after talking to Madolyn on the phone] Is that that psychiatrist cunt you've been dating?
Colin Sullivan: Yea, Frank... it's getting pretty serious.
Frank Costello: Well, you better get organized and fucking quick. I'm getting the idea that there is a cop in my crew.
Colin Sullivan: I'm starting to get that feeling too.
Frank Costello: Well, as long as I'm not the only one. You gotta smoke this motherfucker out.
Colin Sullivan: Yea... I am. This what I need... I need you to get me Social Security numbers, date of births, back account numbers... the works.
Frank Costello: Get you? Get you? Who the fuck do you think you work for?
Colin Sullivan: Alright... I'm sorry, Frank. Can you please see if you can get SS numbers, DOBs, and bank account numbers.
Frank Costello: Yeah... I'll see what I can do.More [03/22/2007 12:03:00]
[at his wife's funeral]
Daniel: Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of her requests - for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral - I am confident she expected me to ignore.More [04/03/2007 12:04:00]
Sallah: [catches date and points to dead monkey] Bad dates.More [04/07/2007 12:04:00]
Joe Fox: I better go deliver this
Joe Fox: I have a very thirsty date - she's part camel.More [04/08/2007 12:04:00]
Theresa Burnett: Oh oh. Don't kiss me, Mike. I don't know where your lips were last night. Move.
Quincy Burnett: Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night?
Mike Lowrey: Whooo. Did I. Let me tell you, this girl was...
Theresa Burnett: Hey hey. Don't you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories.
Mike Lowrey: Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.
Marcus Burnett: Hey.
Theresa Burnett: Well, I don't want him hearing either. Gives him ideas.
Marcus Burnett: Why are you doing this to me, man? I'm with my babies. Okay? Thank you.More [04/09/2007 12:04:00]
Elizabeth Masterson: Don't you think she was totally unclassy and predatory.
David Abbott: Those happen to be two of men's favourite things.
Elizabeth Masterson: Why don't you date a pit bull?
David Abbott: Maybe I will.More [04/19/2007 12:04:00]
Henry Denton: I have a date with a hot glass of milk.More [04/22/2007 12:04:00]
[Jordan protests having to carry the equipment]
Casey Ryback: I'll tell you what. I'll carry everything, if you kill whoever we run into, all right?
Jordan Tate: I have a little rule about killing people. Actually, I have two rules. See, One, I don't date musicians, and Two, *I do NOT kill people*!More [06/14/2007 12:06:00]
John: Since when has force been a problem for you? Why are you so desperate to get your son back?
Eric Matthews: 'Cause he's my son...
John: What's the last thing you said to him before you left him?
Eric Matthews: [flashback]
Eric Matthews: Well, then, go!
John: Seems to me that the knowledge of your sons impending death is causing you to act... Why is that we're only willing to do that, when a life is at stake?
Eric Matthews: I've always loved my son, it has never changed
John: No... no... It's changed now. You see, the knowledge of death... changes everything. If I were to tell you the exact date and time of your death... it would shatter everything.More [06/26/2007 12:06:00]
[an Airline hostess from an Australian airline has phoned to ask if Dr Winston is free for a date that evening]
Dr. Julian Winston: Tell her I'm grounded!
Stephanie: [down the phone] I'm sorry, Miss, but Dr Winston doesn't do that kind of work any more.More [07/05/2007 12:07:00]
Trip McNeely: [as he approaches a sulking Mike with a six-pack in hand] Hey man, you want a beer?
Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: No way, man!
Trip McNeely: Trip McNeely.
Mike Dexter: Trip McNeely! Geez. You were a sexual icon! You know girls at Huntington still talk about you?
Trip McNeely: Really? Which ones?
Mike Dexter: You must be racking up at college. College!
Trip McNeely: I wish, bro. I can't even get digits as a freshman.
Mike Dexter: Shut up! Come on, you can tell me.
Trip McNeely: Seriously, man. I thought college was gonna be a 24-7 orgy. Hell, that's even why I broke up with Janeen before I left.
Mike Dexter: [after an uneasy pause] S-so, what happened?
Trip McNeely: [sighs] College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys.
[Tosses an empty beer can aside]
Mike Dexter: Yeah, but... not all of 'em, right?
Trip McNeely: Way it goes. Hell, I even tried crawling back to Janeen. She was all cozy with some senior. He's a pre-med. They ALL are. Guys like us... we are a dime a dozen.
[Belches and then chuckles]
Trip McNeely: Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
Mike Dexter: [Lying to Trip] Yeah,
Mike Dexter: me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
Trip McNeely: You're lucky, bro.
Mike Dexter: I sure am.
Trip McNeely: Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you.
Trip McNeely: Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet.
Mike Dexter: [With a discouraged tone] Take it easy, Trip! Trip McNeely! All right...More [07/08/2007 12:07:00]
Ann: Never date a guy who knows more about your vagina than you do.More [07/23/2007 12:07:00]
Cher: Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.More [07/24/2007 12:07:00]
Stuck-Up girl: I only date a man if he has a BMW.More [07/26/2007 12:07:00]
Amy: [at Endgame, Amy delivers the formal acceptance speech Max wrote for her] If there is corruption in this city, Lucy Diamond is behind it.
[Lucy enters the auditorium on an upper-floor balcony and listens in painful silence]
Amy: If there is indecency to be found, she is the root. If there is evil in this world, its name is Lucy Diamond. It's not until moments like this when you are forced to take stock of yourself that you see what you are made of. It's not until moments like this when you have to remember what's right and true. Because it's moments like this when you discover what it truly means to be a D.E.B.
[looks up, sees Lucy, and stops reading]
Amy: Which is why I can't accept this award from you tonight. Because, the truth is, the times I spent with Lucy Diamond were the happiest days of my life. And the only brave thing I've done this whole time is what I'm doing now. So if you'll excuse me, I have a date with the devil.
[smiles and runs from the podium]More [08/08/2007 12:08:00]
Merlock: Now, give it to me.
Dijon: Give? What give?
Merlock: The map, give it to me.
Dijon: De map, dat specific map right here right now?
Merlock: [grabbing Dijon by the collar in fury] You didn't steal it?
Dijon: Too many people, Merlock. Only one Dijon, but look what I did steal... several billfolds... dis handy pocket watch... floss... a date nut bar... and two tickets to the feta cheese festival. For you master.
[Merlock drops him]
Dijon: Maybe you do not want the floss?More [08/12/2007 12:08:00]
Eva: Before I can go on a date I have to eat 2 herring, collect 5 different tulips and drink a beer from a wooden shoe.
Deuce Bigalow: That's do-able!More [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
Teensy: [seeing Caro pull a pill from her purse and begin grinding it up to put into Sidda's drink] What are you doing? What is that?
Caro: It's a roofie or a roopie or something. I got it from a caddy at the club. It's supposed to knock her on her ass!
Teensy: Roofies! No! That's the date rape drug!
Necie Rose Kelleher: We can't do that!
Caro: Well, we can't just conk her on the head!More [09/17/2007 12:09:00]
White Goodman: We should mate.
Kate Veatch: What?
White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.
[Kate retches, then forces it down]
White Goodman: Are you okay?
Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... *in a book*.More [09/17/2007 12:09:00]
Kate Veatch: You fired me so I would date you?
White Goodman: Yuh-huh.More [09/17/2007 12:09:00]
Barbara Novak: I'm not gonna storm out of here, Catch. And I'm not gonna admit that you got Barbara Novak to fall in love... because I'm not Barbara Novak. There is no Barbara Novak.
Catcher Block: Huh?
Barbara Novak: And I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin. I fell in love with Catcher Block. And that was a year ago, when for three and a half weeks, I worked as your secretary. I don't expect you to remember me. I wasn't a blond then. But you did ask me out. And it broke my heart to say no, but I loved you too much. I couldn't bear to become just another notch in your bedpost. With your dating habits, I knew that even if I was lucky enough to get a regular spot on your rotating schedule... I would never have your undivided attention long enough for you to fall in love with me. I knew I had to do something to set myself apart. I knew I had to quit my job as your secretary... and write an international best-seller controversial enough... to get the attention of a New York publisher as well as "KNOW" magazine... but insignificant enough that as long as I went unseen, "KNOW" magazine's star journalist would refuse to do a cover story about it. I knew that every time we were supposed to meet, you would get distracted by one of your many girlfriends and stand me up... and this would give me a reason to fight with you over the phone... and declare that I wouldn't meet with you for a hundred years. And then all I would have to do was be patient and wait... the two or three weeks it would take for everyone in the world to buy a copy of my best-seller - and then I would begin to get the publicity I would need for you... to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see me denounce you in public as the worst kind of man. I knew that this would make you wanna get even by writing one of your exposés. And in order to do that, you would have to go undercover, assume a false identity and pretend to be the kind of man who would make the kind of girl I was pretending to be fall in love. And I knew that since I was pretending to be a girl who would have sex on the first date you would have pretend to be a man who wouldn't have sex for several dates. And in doing so, we would go out on lots of dates to all the best places and all the hit shows until finally, one night, you would take me back to your place - that you were pretending was someone else's - in order to get the evidence you needed to write your exposé... by seducing me until I said, "I love you." But saying "I love you" was also my plan. I just wanted to tell you the truth so that when you heard me say, "I love you" you would know that I knew who you were, and you would know who I was. Then you, the great Catcher Block, would know that you'd been beaten at your own game... by me, Nancy Brown, your former secretary. And I would have, once and for all, set myself apart from all the other girls you've known, all those other girls that you never really cared about, by making myself someone like the one person you really love and admire above all others: you. Then, when you realized that you had finally met your match... I would have at last gained the respect that would make you wanna marry me first and seduce me later.
[after looking at Catch's face]
Barbara Novak: I just wanted you to hear all this from me before you heard it from your private eye.More [09/25/2007 12:09:00]
Harmony Star: There's no such thing! Think about it: a guy who flies around the whole world in one night. It just doesn't quite correspond to the laws of time and travel.
Ernest P. Worell: Now, now, now, now, now, it's possible. You take the International Date Line, multiply it by the Time Zones, divided by the accelerated rotation of the earth... uh, carry the 1, and, uh, allowing for the Vernal Equinox on the Tropic of Cancer, he might just pull it off.More [10/16/2007 12:10:00]
[Stan wants to quit football to study]
Delilah: You're not good at studying Stan, you're good at football. You should stick with what you're good at.
Stan: Yeah, I've always been good at football, and basketball, and every other sport I've tried. Maybe I should try something I'm not so good at, something different.
Delilah: And what am I supposed to do while you're on a yellow book quest for a brain?
Delilah: The accepted social order is that head cheerleaders date star quarterbacks, not academic wannabees.
Stan: Don't be so superficial...
Delilah: Superficial... four syllables, that's really good Stan, you're on your way. Let me know how the cure for cancer goes.
Stan: I was hoping you'd be with me on this...More [10/26/2007 12:10:00]
Ben Grimm: You know, living through something like this you really appreciate having the right woman in your life.
Reed Richards: Yeah, you and Debbie are perfect.
Ben Grimm: I'm not talking about Debbie.
[Indicates to Sue]
Reed Richards: What? Come on. She's got a good thing with Victor. He's smart, He's powerful, successful.
Ben Grimm: Well, maybe you should date him then.
Reed Richards: Ben, she ended up with the right guy, everything worked out for the best.
[Reed walks away]
Ben Grimm: Do i have to do everything myself?More [10/30/2007 12:10:00]
Carl Showalter: [on date with hooker] So, how long you been with the escort service?
Escort: I don't know, a few months.
Carl Showalter: Find that work interesting, do ya?
Escort: What're you talkin' about?
[quick cut to next scene, where he's having sex with her]More [10/30/2007 12:10:00]
Brian: You know, I was thinking we should go out sometime.
Mia: Oh, that's sweet, but I usually don't date my brother's friends.
Brian: Well, that sucks. I guess I'll have to kick his ass then.
Mia: I'd love to see that. Actually, I'd pay to see that.More [11/01/2007 12:11:00]
Gator: Hello, Aunt Ida.
Aunt Ida: Gator Nelson, what a coincidence! There's somebody here dying to meet you! Gator, this is Ernie; Ernie, this is Gator!
Ernie: Hi, stud!
Gator: Get him outta here!
Aunt Ida: Gator Nelson, you be polite to Ernie! He wants a date with you!
Gator: Well I don't want a date with him. I came to say goodbye Aunt Ida, I'm moving to Detroit.
Aunt Ida: WHAT?
Gator: I want to be near the auto inDUStry, I'm sick of hairdressing and besides, Dawn had me fired.
Ernie: I can get ya a job at the baths, Mary!
Gator: Look, fucker, take a walk!
Gator: Look, you better beat it before I punch your fuckin' face out that window.
Ernie: No gay knocks for me, Ida! At best, all you've got here is trade.
Aunt Ida: Oh Gator! Ernie's your type! Move in with me again, and we'll get you a job as a female impersonator!
Ernie: His hands are too big, dahling. Bye, Gator. It was... fab meeting you!
Gator: Fuck you, you're worse than my wife!More [11/03/2007 12:11:00]
Fletch: It's a championship Laker watch.
Cindy Mae: Oh, are you a Laker?
Fletch: I used to date one - only thing I have to remember him by.More [11/13/2007 12:11:00]
Enid: How come all that time I was trying to get you a date you never asked me out?
Seymour: You're a beautiful girl, I couldn't imagine you'd have any interest in me except as an amusingly cranky eccentric curiosity.More [12/18/2007 12:12:00]
Janey: Do you have a date or something?
Lynne: No I wish, I just know I must be horny.More [12/23/2007 12:12:00]
Lynne: Whenever I'm in a room with a guy, no matter who it is - a date my dentist, anybody - I think, If we were the last two people on Earth, would I puke if he kissed me?More [12/23/2007 12:12:00]
Drew: Patty and I have a little business to attend to. The term papers are in- Eisonhower, Johnson, Kennedy...
Patty: Kennedy! Oh, he was so cute! How much?
Drew: A date with me.
Patty: I'll take Johnson.More [12/23/2007 12:12:00]
James Bond: Never seen you after hours, Moneypenny... stunning. Where were you, out on assignment? Dressing to kill?
Miss Moneypenny: I know you'll find this crushing, 007, but I don't sit at home waiting for an international incident so I can come down here all dressed up just to impress James Bond. If you must know I was out on a date with a gentlemen. We went to the theater together.
James Bond: Moneypenny, I'm devastated.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Kermit: [the Muppets are in a frenzy about Kermit's date] Fozzie, this is all very embarrassing!
Fozzie: Don't worry Kermit, it won't leave this room.
The Muppet Newsman: Here is a muppet newsflash! Kermit the frog to date Lady Holiday! Details at 11.More [01/09/2008 12:01:00]
Veronica Sawyer: Hey, Martha. My date for the prom kinda flaked out on me. I was wondering, If you weren't doing anything that night, maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn.
Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock: I'd like that.
Veronica Sawyer: Yeah. Me too.More [02/26/2008 12:02:00]
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