tools

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tools

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The tools I need for my work are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whisky.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A politician divides mankind into two classes; tools and enemies.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Do not wait; the time will never be just right. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A determined soul will do more with a rusty monkey wrench than a loafer will accomplish with all the tools in a machine shop.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Words are tools which automatically carve concepts out of experience.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Books to judicious compilers, are useful; to particular arts and professions, they are absolutely necessary; to men of real science, they are tools: but more are tools to them.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Prophecy today is hardly the romantic business that it used to be. The old tools of the trade, like the sword, the hair shirt, and the long fast in the wilderness, have given way to more contemporary, mundane instruments of doom --the book, the picket and the petition, the sit-in at City Hall.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
How people keep correcting us when we are young! There is always some bad habit or other they tell us we ought to get over. Yet most bad habits are tools to help us through life.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Edged tools are dangerous things to handle, and not infrequently do much hurt.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
One of the greatest and simplest tools for learning more and growing is doing more.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Men have become the tools of their trade.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
We are sick with fascination for the useful tools of names and numbers, of symbols, signs, conceptions and ideas. Meditation is therefore the art of suspending verbal and symbolic thinking for a time, somewhat as a courteous audience will stop talking when a concert is about to begin.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Hopefully this movie will help people understand that if a child is never given the tools to know how to love others and love and respect themselves, this is what happens.More [08/23/2006 12:08:00]
[Several technicians dump boxes containing the same equipment and tools that the astronauts have with them onto a table]
Technician: We've got to find a way to make this
[square CSM LiOH canister]
Technician: fit into the hole for this
[round LEM canister]
Technician: ... using nothing but that.More [04/08/2007 12:04:00]
[Fetcher and Nick are stealing tools, and are hiding in gnomes as they move about, while Mr. Tweedy is working and steal the tools and start walking away and Mr. Tweedy notices]
Mr. Tweedy: So, gnomes now, is it?More [05/03/2007 12:05:00]
Michelle: Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.More [05/04/2007 12:05:00]
Officer Allen: Will he be OK, Doc?
Psychologist: The years spent in isolation have not equipped him with the tools necessary to judge right from wrong. He's had no context. He's been completely without guidance. Furthermore, his work - the garden sculptures, hairstyles and so forth - indicate that he's a highly imaginative... uh... character. It seems clear that his awareness of what we call reality is radically underdeveloped.
Officer Allen: But will he be all right out there?
Psychologist: Oh yeah, he'll be fine.More [10/06/2007 12:10:00]
Dr. Lynn Denlon: I have the instruments to cut someone open. I don't have the tools to save a life.
Amanda: [glances down at the reverse beartrap on the ground] You'd be surprised what tools can save a life.More [02/19/2008 12:02:00]
Jigsaw: Hello Ivan. As a voyeur you've kept photos of those you have victimized. Can you see the pain you have brought them? You have torn apart their lives. You have used your body as an instrument of abuse. Now I give you the chance to decide what is more important... Your eyes which have led you blindly astray? Or, your body? Which has caused all those around you endless suffering. You have been handed the tools which can save your life... decide quickly though, in 60 seconds... the choice will be made for you.More [02/19/2008 12:02:00]
Dave: Come on, Richardson, you're being a tool.
[with a megaphone]
Richardson: There are no tools - in *this* pool!More [03/30/2008 12:03:00]
It's well known I'm a Scientologist, and that has helped me to find that inner peace in my life and it's something that has given me great stability and tools that I use.More [08/26/2008 12:08:00]
Prisoner #1:
Ain't he got cute legs, like Marlene Dietrich.



Prisoner #2:
Hey keeper, you better search that guy. Looks like he's got a set of burglar's tools in the seat of his B.V.D's.



Prisoner #3:
Bye, bye baby.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sgt. Archibald Cutter:
Now get me some tools. Something to rip these blinking bars out.



Gunga Din:
Already bring all tools could find. Is this satisfactory, sahib?


[holds up a fork]



Sgt. Archibald Cutter:
Look... What do you think I want to break out of - a bloomin' pudding? Now go on, get something big.


[Din returns with an elephant]



Sgt. Archibald Cutter:
What are you doing, Din?



Gunga Din:
The large tool you asked for, sahib.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Franz Tobel:
You would take the Nazis own car?



Sherlock Holmes:
One must adapt onself to the tools at hand.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the raiders see Andrews successfully talking some repairmen into giving their tools to them]



William Pittenger:
I don't see why we have to take the South: if Andrews *asked* for it, they'd *give* it to him!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Bader finds out that 242 squadron has not received replacements for the spares and tools they lost when they pulled out of France]



Warr. Off. West:
We've applied for replacements through the usual channels, Sir.



Bader:
And?



Warr. Off. West:
Well, the usual channels appear to be clogged.



Bader:
Are they? Well, We'll ruddy well unclog 'em!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pat Carroll:
Yes, I wondered if you might have a mirror I could ...



Mrs. Trefoile:
A mirror? Is it to adorn yourself, to observe yourself? Mirrors are not but tools of vanity, Patricia - I know! Vanity - sensuality, Patricia! The Bible speaks of our vile bodies.



Pat Carroll:
Oh.



Mrs. Trefoile:
I knew you would understand.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Cornflake S. Pecially:
[X the Owl is renting tools from Corny] The buckets are 6 for 1. Shovels 6 for 4. Buckets 6 for 1.



X the Owl:
Um, how am I supposed to rent all these different things at once? I mean, it's confusing.



Cornflake S. Pecially:
Well, first you think about it, and then if you need help I'll be right here to help you figure it out.



X the Owl:
I think that buying is alot harder than selling, Corny.



Cornflake S. Pecially:
Well it takes very careful thinking.



X the Owl:
All the same, I wonder if it wouldn't be easier if people just gave each other the things they need instead of buying all the time and selling all the time.



Cornflake S. Pecially:
Well in some places, it's like that, X. But in most places, people earn money for work and then pay that money for what they need.



X the Owl:
Like shovels and buckets.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Millard Rausch, Scientist:
The normal question, the first question is always; are these cannibals? No, they are not cannibals. Cannibalism in the true sense of the word implies an interspecies activity. These creatures cannot be considered human. They prey on humans. They do not prey on each other, that's the difference. They attack and they feed only on warm human flesh. Intelligence? Seemingly little or no reasoning power, but basic skills remain a more remembered behaviors from normal life. There are reports of these creatures using tools. But even these actions are the most primitive, the use of external articles as bludgeons and so forth. I might point out to you that even animals will adopt the basic use of tools in this manner. These creatures are nothing but pure, motorized instinct. We must not be lulled by the concept that these are our family members or our friends. They are not. They will not respond to such emotions.


[the gathered crowd starts arguing]



Dr. Millard Rausch, Scientist:
They must be destroyed on sight!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Stroker Ace:
[asking about the previous night's encounter between Torkle and Pembrook] What DID happen between you two?



Pembrook Feeney:
[Pembrook and Lugs roll out from under Stroker's race car on creepers] He just made me mad, that's all, so I kicked him in the scrotum.


[Pembrook rolls back under the car]



Stroker Ace:
Scrotum?



Lugs Harvey:
What's a scrotum?



Stroker Ace:
I dunno.



Lugs Harvey:
I think I'll find out.


[Lugs rolls back under the car]



Lugs Harvey:
Pembrook, what's a scr...


[sound of tools crashing]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jason:
My father built this cabin by hand.



Mike:
Wow! No tools or anything? Cool!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Narrator:
The mantras which the Geshe recites are his tools for helping all sentient beings. They are much more than mere prayers. Through their form and sound they bring the contents of the ancient texts to life and give them power.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Al:
Gee I wish I could figure out what happened to my tools and my copper wiring and my tile and my life and my manhood.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Shop student:
And you know, I like the feel of a board moving smoothly against a sharp saw.



Mike Nelson:
Then I thrust the nail into the soft, yielding wood.



Shop student:
I like the smell of fresh woodchips and sawdust.



Tom Servo:
I put them in my underwear.



Shop student:
The bright glare of a welder.



Crow T. Robot:
I like to sneak in and lay on the table saw.



Shop student:
The sharp whine of a power tool.



Mike Nelson:
The piercing scream of a freshman.



Shop student:
Or the dull tap-tap of tools on leather.



Crow T. Robot:
Rat-a-tat-tat - I keep Popular Mechanics under my mattress!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Roman:
Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of lawn tools at Sears?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mike Downey:
You know, Angela, I've been thinking.



Angela de Marco:
Well, there you go, working without tools again.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Marilyn Whirlwind:
It's the same with white people. They cleared the forest, they dug up the land, and they gave us the flu. But they also brought power tools and penicillin and Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Clarissa Darling:
[about the brat she has to babysit] This year I've got the perfect tools to tame little Elsie.



Sam Anders:
Well, if you're not packing thermo-nuclear warheads, I think you're traveling light.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tim:
I'm no more valuable than Al.



Al:
I agree.



Tim:
On the job site, there's no difference between Al's tools and my tools.



Al:
Actually, Tim, there is: at the end of the job...


[Tries to switch on Tim's soupled-up power sander]



Al:
...my tools still work.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Red Green:
One of the things that changes as you get older is your attitude towards parties. That's because after you've been married for a while, you realize that men and women have totally different approaches to them. The woman wants to know who's coming to the party. The man just wants to know who's bringing the beer. The woman cleans up whatever is lying around the home so the guests will think she keeps a neat house. The man actually leaves tools lying around the home so the guests will help build a deck. The woman wants to know what's going on with everybody. The man avoids that information. It's safer. It prevents him from blurting out something he's not supposed to know in front of someone who's not supposed to hear it, especially if that someone is carrying one of the tools I mentioned earlier. So my advice is when you get to our age, stop going to parties. Bringing friends together for the sole purpose of letting loose is not a good idea. People are like nuts and bolts: they don't work well loose; there's too much play. If you want to have a wingding, you're better off in a bar full of strangers than a house full of friends. You want to go where the lights are low and people are all the same; you want to go where nobody knows your name.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mario:
Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Lever let 'em down, and they're always at your side.



Luigi:
Hey, Mario, how is it that for every situation that could possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools?



Mario:
I got 'em from Papa.



Both:
He got 'em from Grandpapa!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dignan:
What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Doyle:
I don't guess I give a shit. I ain't here that much so if you want a retard living out in the garage, I guess that's your business. But I do got some tools and a set of socket wreches out there I'd rather not have stolen.



Frank:
He's real honest. He wouldn't steal nothing.



Doyle:
Frankie, I wasn't talking to you, now was I? I was talking to your Mama. It's her decision, not yours. If I let it go on it's because she said so, not you!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Hank:
What's this? It's a letter. "From the Desk of Buckley's Angel". Let's see here...”Dear Bill, Boomhauer and Dale, I have been unable to find a woman for Bill. Any woman. Or a crank shaft from a 1968 Dodge. And the porthole to Hell is actually located in Hank's garage near all of his tools and should be avoided by anyone afraid of the porthole to Hell." Well, that's that. Goodbye, Buckley's Angel.



Dale Gribble:
Goodbye, Buckley's Ang... Hold the phone. Let me see that letter.



Bill Dauterive:
[Gasps] That's not Buckley's handwriting. Hank!


[Hank turns the hose on them]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Kitty:
They're just tools for the boss, they have no idea how badly they're being used.



Nicholas "Nick" Roth:
Everyone is a tool for someone. The thing to consider is what exactly one should be used for.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
President:
I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day "Armageddon" - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined modern technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrongs and the discord; through all of the pain and suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we all, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Male Interviewer:
Lisanne - 32A, Magazine Editor.


[claps board]



Lisanne:
You want the bra off too?



Male Interviewer:
Yeah.



Lisanne:
Now, you're not showing my face, are you?



Female Interviewer:
No.



Lisanne:
Okay. Because I would die if anyone knew I was doing this. Hold on.


[with her face out of our view, Lisanne reaches behind her back, unhooks her bra, and takes it off revealing her fist-sized breasts]



Lisanne:
There. There you have it. What do you want me to say?



Female Interviewer:
How do you feel about your breasts?



Lisanne:
How do I feel about my breasts? Well... how would *you* feel about them? I have gone to the Dentist and had tools laid on my chest as though it was a tray, as though it was a totally flat place upon which a person can unthinkingly lay their things on and, you know, get 'em later... I know that you guys probably don't like it that I'm getting the operation because you're feminists or, you know, something. I don't know.



Female Interviewer:
No. No, we're not trying to make any judgements here.



Lisanne:
Okay. Well, that's good. Because I don't really care if you did, 'cause I would just say, "Kiss my ass." I mean... I'm doing this for me, and I don't care what anybody says. I want to have big tits.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Gray Fox:
Snake. We're not tools of the government, or anyone else. Fighting was the only thing... the only thing I was good at. But... at least I always fought for what I believed in.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Chris Frost:
CCTV, mirrors, marked notes, security tags they're all tools of the trade and don't be fooled by their sympatheic exterior, be very wary of people in wheelchairs or babies in prams, yes keep an even closer eye on them. Only the other day I caught a 6 month old infant trying to conceal a box of rusks under his blanket, needless to say he met his match that day and I was able to inform the authorities before any more damage was done, Chalk it up!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Solid Snake:
[reciting Grey Fox's last words] "We're not tools of the government, or anyone else! Fighting was the only thing I was good at, but at least I fought for what I believe in!"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[On the game show Common Knowledge]



Bob:
Now it's time for our lightening round. Let's bring out the 17 year olds! Jean, you're playing with Miles Hoffner a senior from Troy, New York. Miles, has your high school education given you the tools you need to go out into the real world?



Miles Hoffner:
Um...Well, I...ya know...I mean, yeah. Sure, I guess so.



Bob:
Terrific answer, and Les, you're playing with Tracey Tollison, a senior from Rockford, Illinois. Tracey, you were supposed to be on the show yesterday but there was some sort of mix-up of some kind?



Tracey Tollison:
I got on the wrong plane.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Eddie:
What are you doing?



Sean:
[sitting in a lawn chair in front of his car, which has its hood up, and tools are scattered around him, he pries open a beer bottle with a wrench] Fixing the car.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sheng-Ji Yang:
Technological advance is an inherently iterative process. One does not simply take sand from the beach and produce a Dataprobe. We use crude tools to fashion better tools, and then our better tools to fashion more precise tools, and so on. Each minor refinement is a step in the process, and all of the steps must be taken.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Michelle Bain:
I believe that secular entertainment is one of the biggest tools that Satan uses to mislead people.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[in "Why Study Industrial Arts?"]



Joel Robinson:
You know, I like the feel of a board moving moving slowly against the cutter...



Mike Nelson:
Then I thrust the nail into the soft, yielding wood.



Joel Robinson:
I like the smell of fresh wood chips and saw dust...



Crow T. Robot:
I put them in my underwear... uh, oh.



Joel Robinson:
The bright glare of a welder...



Tom Servo:
I like to sneak in and lay on the table saw.



Joel Robinson:
The sharp whine of a power tool...



Mike Nelson:
The piercing scream of a freshman.



Joel Robinson:
Or the dull tap-tap of tools on leather.



Tom Servo:
Tap, tap tap, I keep Popular Mechanix under my mattress! Ha ha ha!



Joel Robinson:
A saw...



Crow T. Robot:
Building a chafe with no pants... uh, oh.



Joel Robinson:
A wrench...



Mike Nelson:
Let it go, man! Shop class was a long time ago. It's *over*!



Joel Robinson:
A plane...



Tom Servo:
These tools are my friends!



Joel Robinson:
Or a chisel.



Crow T. Robot:
What about *girls*, young man, *girls*?



Tom Servo:
Nope. Chisels.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
It is education that will arm us with the tools that will enable us to succeed and put a stop to the rising rates of preventable death.More [11/09/2009 12:11:00]

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