dating

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dating

Buttermaker: Baseball's hard. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kinda like dating a German chick.More [08/13/2005 12:08:00]
I don't understand the whole dating thing. I know right off the bat if I'm interested in someone, and I don't want them to waste their money on me and take me out to eat if I know I'm not interested in that person.More [03/22/2006 12:03:00]
I wasn't dating anyone. I was hyper-focused on acting. So I didn't bring a guy to the prom. I was the lone gay person as far as I knew.More [06/07/2006 12:06:00]
The girl I was dating heard this preacher on the radio, and she thought his message was something I should hear. I thought, Great, a preacher. Just what I need.More [06/26/2006 12:06:00]
“We ended up going on our second date, which spiraled into us dating for three years.”More [07/09/2006 12:07:00]
“[His star professes a lifelong interest in the subject matter dating back to Catholic grade school.] But when I read the script, ... I thought, 'Oh, my gosh. Well, this isn't nice stigmata like I thought stigmata was going to be -- angel sounds. All pretty.'”More [10/01/2006 12:10:00]
You're talking to someone who has been married to various people for the last 40 years of her life. Dating is not really something familiar. I've never really been a dater.More [10/10/2006 12:10:00]
“They wrote that I'd gained 30 pounds over the summer and lost it in a week because I was dating three guys at once!”More [10/17/2006 12:10:00]
I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general.More [11/02/2006 12:11:00]
My mother was dating this Frenchman. I was 2 years old, and we were living in Ibiza. I never experience details like that in America now.More [11/06/2006 12:11:00]
I just can't imagine dating a 20-year-old boy.More [03/12/2007 12:03:00]
Frank Costello: [On the phone] Are you still dating that shrink cunt?
Colin Sullivan: [Looks at Madolyn] Yeah...More [03/22/2007 12:03:00]
Lucy: [to Henry] I hardly know you.
Marlin: Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him.
[Lucy looks at Henry]
Henry: Sorry I'm not better looking.More [03/29/2007 12:03:00]
Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.More [04/03/2007 12:04:00]
“I think more dating stuff is scheduling. It's needing people who understand your work schedule.”More [04/16/2007 12:04:00]
Patrick Bateman: Pumpkin, you're dating an asshole.More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
Patrick Bateman: You're dating Louis and he's in Arizona. You're fucking me and we don't have plans tonight. What could you possibly be doing?More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
David Van Patten: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
Craig McDermott: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
Timothy Bryce: Yes. McDufus, I am.
Craig McDermott: He's handling the Fisher account.
Timothy Bryce: Lucky bastard.
Craig McDermott: Lucky Jew bastard.
Patrick Bateman: Oh, Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
Craig McDermott: Listen. I've seen the bastard sitting in his office on the phone with CEOs, spinning a fucking menorah. The bastard brought a Hanukkah bush into the office last December.
Patrick Bateman: You spin a dreidel, McDermott, not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
Craig McDermott: Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some fucking potato pancakes? Some latkes?
Patrick Bateman: No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
Craig McDermott: Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.
Timothy Bryce: The voice of reason... the boy next door.
[looks at restaurant bill]
Timothy Bryce: Speaking of reasonable, only $520...More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
Jean: Are you dating anyone?
Patrick Bateman: Maybe. I don't know... Not really.More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
Captain Stacy: What's she doing up there?
Eddie Brock: I don't know I just saw her last night she said that she had a modeling gig.
Captain Stacy: Who are you?
Eddie Brock: It's Brock sir, Edward Brock Jr. and I work at the Daily Bugle... and I'm dating your daughterMore [05/27/2007 12:05:00]
Doumer: You're incredible, Ryback. It's a shame you're not cooking for *us*.
[Jordan shoots Doumer in the back]
Casey Ryback: [to Jordan] Next thing I know, you'll be dating musicians.More [06/14/2007 12:06:00]
“That's when Burke started to come out, not merely as an attending surgeon who's dating an intern but as a fully dimensional guy. We discovered that he's someone who cooks, he's someone who has compassion.”tMore [09/18/2007 12:09:00]
Barbara Novak: I'm not gonna storm out of here, Catch. And I'm not gonna admit that you got Barbara Novak to fall in love... because I'm not Barbara Novak. There is no Barbara Novak.
Catcher Block: Huh?
Barbara Novak: And I didn't fall in love with Zip Martin. I fell in love with Catcher Block. And that was a year ago, when for three and a half weeks, I worked as your secretary. I don't expect you to remember me. I wasn't a blond then. But you did ask me out. And it broke my heart to say no, but I loved you too much. I couldn't bear to become just another notch in your bedpost. With your dating habits, I knew that even if I was lucky enough to get a regular spot on your rotating schedule... I would never have your undivided attention long enough for you to fall in love with me. I knew I had to do something to set myself apart. I knew I had to quit my job as your secretary... and write an international best-seller controversial enough... to get the attention of a New York publisher as well as "KNOW" magazine... but insignificant enough that as long as I went unseen, "KNOW" magazine's star journalist would refuse to do a cover story about it. I knew that every time we were supposed to meet, you would get distracted by one of your many girlfriends and stand me up... and this would give me a reason to fight with you over the phone... and declare that I wouldn't meet with you for a hundred years. And then all I would have to do was be patient and wait... the two or three weeks it would take for everyone in the world to buy a copy of my best-seller - and then I would begin to get the publicity I would need for you... to, one, see what I look like, and, two, see me denounce you in public as the worst kind of man. I knew that this would make you wanna get even by writing one of your exposés. And in order to do that, you would have to go undercover, assume a false identity and pretend to be the kind of man who would make the kind of girl I was pretending to be fall in love. And I knew that since I was pretending to be a girl who would have sex on the first date you would have pretend to be a man who wouldn't have sex for several dates. And in doing so, we would go out on lots of dates to all the best places and all the hit shows until finally, one night, you would take me back to your place - that you were pretending was someone else's - in order to get the evidence you needed to write your exposé... by seducing me until I said, "I love you." But saying "I love you" was also my plan. I just wanted to tell you the truth so that when you heard me say, "I love you" you would know that I knew who you were, and you would know who I was. Then you, the great Catcher Block, would know that you'd been beaten at your own game... by me, Nancy Brown, your former secretary. And I would have, once and for all, set myself apart from all the other girls you've known, all those other girls that you never really cared about, by making myself someone like the one person you really love and admire above all others: you. Then, when you realized that you had finally met your match... I would have at last gained the respect that would make you wanna marry me first and seduce me later.
[after looking at Catch's face]
Barbara Novak: I just wanted you to hear all this from me before you heard it from your private eye.More [09/25/2007 12:09:00]
Hildebrand 'Hildy' Johnson: Goodbye, Duffy. Watch the diabetes. Walter, it's been fun.
Duffy: What's he mean by that?
Walter Burns: He's leaving us. Getting married.
Duffy: Yeah? That hostess at the Hotsy-Totsy Club?
Hildebrand 'Hildy' Johnson: You're not even close. Why, this is a very classy dame. Philadephia. Studied to be a concert pianist.
Walter Burns: Where in the hell would you meet a concert pianist?
Hildebrand 'Hildy' Johnson: Well, actually, she's a widow. Husband cracked up in a brand-new Packard. Only had 18 miles on it. So, to support herself, she's playing the organ at the Balaban & Katz Theater.
Walter Burns: The one in the Loop?
Hildebrand 'Hildy' Johnson: Yeah. We've been dating three months.
Walter Burns: Jeez, Hildy. why didn't you tell me? Kid, I woulda thrown you a little farewell party...
Hildebrand 'Hildy' Johnson: Oh, no, no, no! I know your farewell parties! When Ben Hecht was leaving for Hollywood, you slipped a micky in his gin fizz. It took four of us to get on the California Limited.More [12/04/2007 12:12:00]
Mrs. Chasen: I have here, Harold, the forms sent out by the National Computer Dating Service. It seems to me that as you do not get along with the daughters of my friends, this is the best way for you to find a prospective wife.
[Harold starts to interrupt]
Mrs. Chasen: Please, Harold, we have a lot to do and I have to be at the hairdresser's at three.
[she looks over the papers]
Mrs. Chasen: The Computer Dating Service offers you at least three dates on the initial investment. They screen out the fat and ugly, so it is obviously a firm of high standards.More [02/06/2008 12:02:00]
Max Conners: [about Tensy as their next mark] Hmm...
Page Conners: Not 'hmm', I am not dating the walking dead!More [02/26/2008 12:02:00]
Michael Corben: I'm real sorry. I don't know what to say, y'know?
Herb Corben: You don't know what to say? I'll tell you what to say. How 'bout, "Sorry, Mom and Dad, I would've liked to have graduated high school, but I couldn't really fit it into my dating and partying schedule," huh? Or, how 'bout, "Sorry but I was too busy doing jack shit instead of going to my French class!"
Marge: Herb, take a pill.More [04/09/2008 12:04:00]
[the C.L.I.T. is being discussed on TV]
Holden: Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.More [05/01/2008 12:05:00]
Heather: So I talked to John. He was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special. Something that we don't have to label because...
Beth: [interrupting] Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?
Carrie: And it hurts me to question it, because...
Heather, Beth, Carrie: [at the same time] ... YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL FOR ME?
Heather: Damn! He said the same thing to all of us!
Beth: Figures. He makes up with us and he hooks up with us...
Carrie: [interrupts, whispers] You guys hooked up?
Beth: John and I share something special.
Carrie: Oh what, that they been both in your pants?
Beth: We share a vegan/nonviolent outlook on life.
Heather: [under her breath, coughs] Hippie slut.
Beth: [sarcastic] Oh nice, Heather. It's not like everyone doesn't know that little Miss Cheerleader brings it on.
Carrie: What, you too?
Heather: John and I belong together. He is the team captain and I am the head cheerleader.
Beth: Oh, I'm sorry, what kind of cheerleader?
Carrie: Oh, like he'd take either of you two seriously?
Beth: Do not lump me with her!
Heather: Oh so what, you're now better than me?
Kate: Shut up.
Heather, Beth: [peeved] What?
Kate: Sorry.
Heather: You got something to say?
Kate: No, it's none of my business.
[pause]
Kate: Okay, let me guess. Does he always use pet names like "Baby" and "Sweetheart?" Yeah, it's not out of affection, it's so he won't mix up your names. And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated.
Heather: Oh my God, you're dating John too?
Kate: No, I knew a guy like him... Skip.More [05/13/2008 12:05:00]
John Tucker: So you're lab partners with Kate, right? We talk. What's her deal?
Scott: Yeah, I don't know. I don't think she's your type.
John Tucker: Girl is my type.
Scott: Alright, well then maybe you're not her type. She's into stuff like old school Elvis Costello, she listens to obscure podcasts, she reads Dave Eggers. You know, she's deep, man.
John Tucker: Dude, I'm deep. I'm dating the poetry club.More [05/13/2008 12:05:00]
Carrie: You know what, that was no accident!
Heather: He's mine!
[pushes Carrie]
Heather: Stay away from him!
Carrie: Oh you little brat!
[slaps Heather]
Beth: [tries to break Carrie and Heather up] Girls, peace and love! C'mon you guys are fighting over -...
Heather: We're fighting over John Tucker, he's mine!
Beth: [throws volleyball at Heather] OH!
Heather: What the hell is your problem?
Beth: I am dating John Tucker.
[Heather throws a volleyball at Beth but Beth ducks, it hits Kate instead. Carrie and Beth slap each other]
Coach Williams: [whistle] ENOUGH! Let's get back in the game.
[Beth pushes Carrie, then Heather pushes Beth. Coach Williams tries to break up the fight. Carrie throws the volleyball that was supposed to get Beth and Heather, but gets Coach Williams instead. The crowd groans]
Carrie: Darn it Coach!
[Heather throws a bag of volleyballs at Beth, but gets Kate in the stomach instead]
Carrie: Just let me get through. Just let me get them
Coach Williams: PUT THOSE BALLS DOWN!
[Heather throws the same bag of volleyballs and hits Beth. Beth in return throws random volleyballs, one hitting Carrie and one hitting Kate. Then Beth rolls the whole cart of volleyballs and it knocks over Carrie, Heather, Kate, and Coach Williams like bowling pins. Beth lunges herself on Heather. Heather, Beth, and Carrie fight on the gym floor]
Kate: [blows Coach Williams' whistle] This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him, you are beating the shit out of each other?
Coach Williams: LANGUAGE!
[Coach Williams gets up, angrily]
Coach Williams: DETENTION! You, you, you, and YOU! Honestly...
[points to Carrie, Beth, Heather, and Kate. Coach Williams leaves the scene disgusted. Even Kate beats a hasty retreat]
Beth: [peeved] Who is that?
Heather: I don't know. Pam Something.More [05/13/2008 12:05:00]
Juno MacGuff: I'm losing my faith in humanity.
Mac MacGuff: Think you can narrow it down for me?
Juno MacGuff: I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, like people in love.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy troubles? I gotta be honest; I don't much approve of dating in your condition, 'cause well... that's kind of messed up.
Juno MacGuff: Dad, no!
Mac MacGuff: Well, it's kind of skanky. Isn't that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
Juno MacGuff: Please stop now.
Mac MacGuff: [persisting] Tore up from the floor up?
Juno MacGuff: Dad, it's not about that. I just need to know if it's possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years.
Mac MacGuff: It's not easy, that's for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I'm proud to say that we're very happy.
[Juno nods]
Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.
Mac MacGuff: Well, of course! You're old D-A-D! You know I'll always be there to love and support you no matter what kind of pickle you're in... Obviously
[nods to her belly]
Juno MacGuff: I need to go out somewhere just for a little while. I don't have any homework and I swear I'll be back by ten.
Mac MacGuff: You were talking about me right?More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]
Chris: Y'see, when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like a brother... or a lamp.
Ray: I don't want to be a lamp...More [05/19/2008 12:05:00]
Chris: What about Sheila? You making any headway?
Ray: We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today.
Chris: Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't - don't do that. Okay? Don't do lunch.
Ray: Why?
Chris: That's like the express lane to the friend zone.
Ray: What the hell's the friend zone?
Chris: See when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.
Ray: I don't want to be a lamp.
Chris: Yea well then don't be her friend, okay? Take that guy for example...
[points to a clumsy guy and a gorgeous girl skating together]
Ray: You mean that couple?
Chris: No, I mean the guy that *wishes* they were a couple.
Ray: What is your point?
Chris: My point is - Call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. Move your day date to tonight. Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. 'Cause friends don't kiss.More [05/19/2008 12:05:00]
Daniel: Are you dating anyone?More [07/11/2008 12:07:00]
[Alyssa has just kissed George]
George: Why did you do that?
Alyssa: When you were dating my mom you seemed like a really good kisser. Oh god, she'd die if she found out.
George: Let's shut up and let her live.More [07/17/2008 12:07:00]
Yuri Orlov: The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.More [08/12/2008 12:08:00]
Rosie:
I'm just an average girl.



Larry Todd:
Honey, if you're an average girl then I've been dating boys.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Travis:
What would I have to do tonight?



Georgie Jones:
Take me back to the dance, let them crown you, pretend to be my boyfriend.



Travis:
You mean, mack all over you and tell all the guys you're hot in bed?



Georgie Jones:
No. No, um - put your arm around me and kiss me gently once or twice.



Travis:
If that's all you want from a boyfriend, it's no surprise you had to make one up. I mean, what's the point of dating if you're not going to have sex?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Narrator:
Barney and Martin had been bachelor buddies for years. But now that Martin was settling down to marriage, they were slowly drifting apart. Barney, naturally, was still dating all the girls in town, and he couldn't understand why Brett and Martin didn't pal around with him more than they did. He couldn't comprehend that married life brought with it not only new problems and duties, but the necessary togetherness of husband and wife as well. Despite Brett's most tactful considerations, such as inviting him over to dinner quite often, Barney was growing resentful of her, or at least she felt that he was. Since time began this change in relationships probably happened to all buddies in similar circumstances. Life has its way of making boys grow up, and with marriage, Martin's time had come. His life was now Brett, a life that he thoroughly enjoyed.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Oscar is dating the princess of a tiny European country]



Princess:
My country is so small we only sent one athlete to the Olympics.



Oscar Madison:
Oh? What event did he compete in?



Princess:
All of them!



Oscar Madison:
How did he do?



Princess:
He died in the relays.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Applebaum:
You have *five* children?



Shirley Renfrew Partridge:
That's right.



Mrs. Applebaum:
[to her son Bernie, who is dating Shirley] And you knew this?


[he nods. Mrs. Applebaum pauses]



Mrs. Applebaum:
Well, I guess it's good for taxes.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Steve Bolander:
I thought, maybe before I leave, we could agree that... that seeing other people while I'm away can't possibly hurt, you know.



Debbie Dunham:
You mean dating other people?



Steve Bolander:
I think it would strengthen our relationship. Then we'd know for sure that we're really in love. Not that there's any doubt.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Frank Serpico:
I own a sheep dog.



Girl:
Uh-huh.



Frank Serpico:
Sheep dogs have been in my family... for sixteen generations! Dating back to the Borgias...



Girl:
[laughing] Oh, shit!



Frank Serpico:
The family crest... is the image of a sheep dog, pissing into a gondola.



Girl:
Shit!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Captain Barney Miller:
So Dietrich, big plans for the weekend?



Dietrich:
No, I'm staying home. I've gotten involved in the New Celibacy Movement.



Captain Barney Miller:
Oh, Yeah?. what's that?



Dietrich:
Its a movement for people who are fed up with the whole shallow dating scene.



Captain Barney Miller:
Couldn't get a date, huh?



Dietrich:
Not a single one.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
St. Sgt. Moked:
Mr. Hasson, I've come to talk to you about the daughter of your hand.



Mr. Hasson:
The hand is All right. To talk to you about the other parts, I'd have to change into a suit.



Mr. Hasson:
[entering Shifra's room] Shifra, do you remember when we wrote to the "Default Couple" dating service?



Shifra Hasson:
No.



Mr. Hasson:
Never mind. They sent a soldier groom. He's sitting in the living room waiting for you as we speak.



Shifra Hasson:
But there's no one in the living room, dad.



Mr. Hasson:
It doesn't matter, just get dressed, put something nice on, don't let him see your face, and when you come in, you're as silent as a mute fish.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Isaac Davis:
She's 17. I'm 42 and she's 17. I'm older than her father, can you believe that? I'm dating a girl, wherein, I can beat up her father.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Rose is up late, baking]



Rose:
I couldn't sleep, so I whipped up a batch of Sverhoeven Crispies. It's a traditional midnight snack from St. Olaf dating back to Viking times.



Dorothy:
Well, I guess after a hard night of pillaging and raping, a Viking would want a little something to go with his cocoa.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dorothy:
It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Blanche commenting on her brother's lifestyle]



Blanche:
I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.



Dorothy:
You really haven't grasped the concept of this "gay thing" yet, have you, Blanche?



Blanche:
Well there must be homosexuals who date women.



Sophia:
Yeah. They're called lesbians.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bender:
Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.



Claire:
No thank you.



Bender:
How does he ride a bike?



Bender:
Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?



Claire:
Can't you just leave me alone?



Bender:
I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Anthony:
Julia, excuse me for overhearing, but I just want to add my two cents.



Julia:
[laughs sarcastically] Oh please... I just want to hear from EVERYONE on this topic! Call your friends!



Anthony:
No no, I was just going to say that you can't force yourself to start dating again if it isn't time. I know because there was a time where I wasn't interested in any romantic involvement at all. The whole idea didn't appeal to me, period... no matter who approached me, I just wasn't interested.



Julia:
Really, Anthony. When was that?



Anthony:
That was the day I entered prison.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dori:
I had a pervert call me once.



Sledge Hammer:
Oh, how'd you get him to stop? Change your number?



Dori:
No, I stopped dating him.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Steph:
[talking to Jesse while cutting his hair] So, do you know who Miss Piggy's been dating lately?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Comic Book visits a dating service and grabs all the one-nighter presentation videotapes]



Clerk:
Are you going to call all those women?



Comic Book Guy:
No, the tapes will do just fine.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Doug Simpson:
[catching up with Katie] Who was that? Was that, that Joey kid? The kid with the flying saucer truck? I saw the earring. You couldn't make a date with your father, you had to sneak a boyfriend into.



Katie Simpson:
Dad, when I broke a date with Joey he thought I was dating another guy, he followed me here. Men are so insecure!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[talking about being on the dating scene]



Estelle Costanza:
Well, I'm out there.



George Costanza:
No, you're not.



Estelle Costanza:
Yes I am.



George Costanza:
No, you're not! Because I'm out there, and if I see *you* out there, there's not enough voltage in the universe to electroshock me back into coherence.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elaine:
I got shooshed during Desperado.



Jerry:
Desperado? And you're still dating him? I'll tell you who sounds a little desperado...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[about Elaine dating Puddy]



Cosmo Kramer:
She's dating him again?



Jerry:
She's batted around and she's back at the top of the order.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[after Kramer tells everyone he is dating a lesbian]



Jerry:
She has never been with a man in her entire life.



Cosmo Kramer:
...I'm Kramer.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

« Page 1 from 14, showing 1 - 60 from 795 »

Quotes of the month

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