voting

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voting

Out of love and hatred, out of earnings and borrowings and leadings and losses; out of sickness and pain; out of wooing and worshipping; out of traveling and voting and watching and caring; out of disgrace and contempt, comes our tuition in the serene and beautiful laws.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
All voting is a sort of gaming, like checkers or backgammon, with a slight moral tinge to it, a playing with right and wrong.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Don: Vote for Summer.
Napoleon Dynamite: Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.
Don: Then who you gonna vote for?
Napoleon Dynamite: I'm voting for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think?
[Don scoffs and walks away]
Napoleon Dynamite: Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons?
[Don hands Napoleon a Vote 4 Summer button]
Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon tosses it across the hall, stares at Don, and runs away]More [08/31/2005 12:08:00]
“think -- and I stress my words -- about the consequences of voting for a party that does not at all correspond to the values of France.”More [11/14/2006 12:11:00]
[first lines]
Elizabeth: I'm voting for Dukakis.More [09/20/2007 12:09:00]
Michael Moore: I couldn't believe that virtually no member of Congress had read the Patriot Act before voting on it. So I decided that the only patriotic thing to do, was for me to read it to them.More [10/28/2007 12:10:00]
If American women would increase their voting turnout by ten percent, I think we would see an end to all of the budget cuts in programs benefiting women and children.More [02/14/2008 12:02:00]
News Reader: Humma Kavula is best known for his slanderous "Don't vote for stupid" campaign and claimed that most people thought they were voting for the worst dressed sentient being in the universe contest.More [03/16/2008 12:03:00]
Truth is, we offered it to Tom Hanks, which pretty much every movie in America does, but Tom passed. Billy Bob said that Hanks recently called and said he's voting for all of us for Oscars, he loved the film.More [05/06/2008 12:05:00]
Earl: [voiceover] I don't know for sure exactly how Andy got elected six months ago in the first place, but all I do know is that nobody meant for it to happen. It's like the ugly girl in high school who gets picked for prom queen. It ain't nice, but some A-hole thinks it's funny and nominates her, and then other people start voting for her thinking no one else is gonna and pretty soon, KAPOW!, the school is stuck with Sheriff Andy for prom queen.More [08/08/2008 12:08:00]
[the stagecoach occupants are voting whether or not to continue without a cavalry escort]



Marshal Curly Wilcox:
How 'bout you, Mr. Hancock?



Samuel Peacock:
Peacock. I'd like to go on, brother. I want to reach the bosom of my dear family in Kansas City, Kansas as quickly as possible; but, I may never reach that bosom if we go on... so, under the circumstances - you understand, brother - I think it best we go back with the bosoms... I mean the soldiers.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[while rescuing captives from the Comanches, Marshal McCabe missed voting for his re-election]



Marshal Guthrie McCabe:
I didn't get a chance to vote for myself - not even once.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dutton Peabody:
[during voting for the territorial convention] I'll have the usual, Jack.



Jack, Barman:
The bar is closed, Mister Editor, during voting.



Dutton Peabody:
Bar's closed?



Tom Doniphon:
You can blame your lawyer friend. He says that's one of the "Fundamental laws of democracy." No exception.



Dutton Peabody:
No exceptions for the working press? Why, that's carrying democracy much too far!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Billie:
I'm of legal age for whiskey, voting and loving. Now the next election is two years away, and my love life ain't getting much better, so how about some of that one-hundred-percent!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Stanley X:
[cupping his hand toward Allbright's ear, as they discuss lowering the voting age] They let th' OLD FOLKS in th' OLD FOLKS HOME vote!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Myra:
Oh, Leticia, they don't call you the queen of the casting couch for nothing.



Leticia Van Allen:
Hm, from what I understand, they're voting me a special Academy Award.



Myra:
An Oscar?



Leticia Van Allen:
No. A golden phallus. And let me tell you, one day we'll have our own stable of studs.



Myra:
A steady stream of sturdy studs!



Leticia Van Allen:
Hm, a boy bank where credit is always good. Sort of a layered day plan.



Myra:
God bless America!



Leticia Van Allen:
God help America!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Emma Goldman:
I think voting is the opium of the masses in this country. Every four years you deaden the pain.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[on a camping trip]



Willie:
One more word out of you, and you're not eating with us.



ALF:
Right. Let the alien starve.



Willie:
I think the alien could skip a meal. It might be a new experience for you!


[pause]



Willie:
How would you like your hamburger?



ALF:
Medium rare. Hold the lightning.



Willie:
How would you like to be 50% hair?



ALF:
You know, you're a different person when you're on vacation.



Willie:
I'm just trying to make this vacation fun.



ALF:
How, by drowning us?



Willie:
By trying to keep a positive attitude! You might do that yourself... INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME!



Kate:
[annoyed] Guys, please.



ALF:
Well, not everyone enjoys spending their vacation in a rainforest!



Willie:
We're in this rainforest because of you!



ALF:
I vote we go home.



Willie:
You're not voting in this.



ALF:
Call the newspapers! Democracy is dead!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sledge Hammer:
[to reporter] I would like to address that particular stereotype if I may. Now, your stereotypical donut is nothing but dough and sugar fried in fat, am I right? Now that fat gums up your arteries and goes to your brain, and you turn liberal. And the next thing you know, Barry Manilow is on the turn-table and you're not going to work and you're voting for gun control. You see what I'm saying? You see the connection? That's why I eat granola.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[vox pop]



Stephen:
Allergies? Well, I'm not good on strawberries, come out in a bit of a rash. The worst one though is Marmite. Only got to smell the stuff and I start voting Conservative.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mike:
[on stage making a fool of himself] Voting kicks ass right! Cause, uh, if voting kicks ass, you got some kick ass shit!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Carolyn Stilton:
He's got a lot of customers.



Blondie O'Hara:
Those aren't customers, those are voters. They ship 'em from all over the state. Each of 'em vote ten, twelve times. Used to get their names outta the cemetary, but I don't even think they bother anymore.



Johnny Flynn:
[to crowd of men] You'll be exercising your God-given right to vote. However, you'll be voting the way I tell you to vote, and as many times as I tell you. That understood? Understood? Shut up!



Carolyn Stilton:
Democrats do that?



Blondie O'Hara:
Democrats? They're what they're paid to be. This is America, lady.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Co-Host:
But, if Kerry gets elected, is it going to - you have said you're voting for him. You obviously support him. It's clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president?



Jon Stewart:
No. Why would it be harder?



Co-Host:
Because you support...



Jon Stewart:
The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So, in that case, if it's less absurd, then, yes, I think it would be harder. But, I mean, it would be hard to top this group, quite frankly. In terms of absurdity and their world matching up to the one that - you know, it was interesting. President Bush was saying, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record. But I've heard President Bush describe his record. His record doesn't match his record. So I don't worry about it in that respect. But let me ask you guys, again, a question, because we talked a little bit about, you're actually doing honest debate and all that. But, after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards?



Co-Host:
The men's room.



Jon Stewart:
Right after that?



Co-Host:
Home.



Jon Stewart:
Spin Alley.



Co-Host:
Home.



Jon Stewart:
Spin Alley.



Co-Host:
What are you talking about? You mean at these debates?



Jon Stewart:
Yes. You go to spin alley, the place called spin alley. Now, don't you think that, for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag, that you're literally walking to a place called deception lane? Like, it's spin alley. It's - don't you see, that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys...



Co-Host:
No, I actually believe - I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with some of them.



Co-Host:
Neither of us was ever in the spin room, actually.



Co-Host:
No, I did - I went to do the Larry King show. They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush, who



Jon Stewart:
I think they believe President Bush would do a better job. And I believe the Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is, they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Brian Griffin:
The sixties brought the hippie breed / And decades later, things have changed indeed / We lost the values, but we kept the weed / You've got a lot to see / The Reagan years have laid the frame / For movie stars to play the White House game / We're not to far from voting Feldman-Haim / You've got a lot to see / The town of Vegas / Has got a different face / 'Cause it's a family place / With lots to do / Where in the fifties / A man could mingle with scores / Of all the seediest whores / Well now his children can too / You heard it from the canine's mouth / The country's changed, that is except the South / And you'll agree / No one really knows, my dear lady friend / Just quite how it all will end / So hurry, 'cause you've got a lot to see / The baldness gene was cause for dread / But that's a fear that you can put to bed / They'll shave your ass and glue it on your head / You've got a lot to see / The PC age has moved the bar / A word like "redneck" is a step too far / The proper term is "country music star" / You've got a lot to see / Our flashy cell phones / Make people mumble, "Gee whiz" / "Look how important he is" / "His life must rule" / You'll get a tumor / But on your surgery day / The doc will see it and say / "Wow, you must really be cool" /



Tom Tucker:
There's lots of things you may have missed!



Adam West:
Like Pee-Wee and his famous wrist!



Cleveland:
Or Sandy Duncan's creepy phony eye!



Neil Goldman:
That awesome "Thundercats" cartoon!



Diane Simmons:
Neil Armstrong landing on the moon!



Meg Griffin:
Neil Armstrong? Wait, was he the trumpet guy?



Brian Griffin:
So let's go see the USA / They'll treat you right, unless you're black or gay / Or Cherokee / But you can forgive he world and its flaws / And follow me there, because / You've still got a hell of a lot to see / You've got a lot to see /

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pete:
Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?



Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote.



Pete:
Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly.



Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well I'm voting for yours truly too.


[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]



Delmar O'Donnell:
Okay... I'm with you fellas.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jacob Coote:
Two things happened to me yesterday. The first was I received all this shit about voting for the first time, which I chucked in the bin, cos I reckon all politicians are a bunch of dickheads. And the other thing was my old man was watching a documentary about insects rooting on fig leaves, so I caught the end of the world news. And I saw this guy who was being chased by his own government, and I didn't understand anything about it except that he was wearing a Nick Cave t-shirt. And then I wondered how a guy my age, with my taste in music, had gotten himself into a situation where his own government was trying to have him shot, just because he had something to say. And I realised I'm lucky because in this country, I can rant and rave and call the Prime Minister a dickhead without the army coming in and shooting me, and stopping you all from listening. And I figured that in this country, we don't vote to keep the best party in - cos there's no such thing - but we vote to keep the worst party out. Because I don't want to end up being watched by some bloke at the other end of the world who thinks that this can't happen to him.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[meeting Marisa's son, Ty]



Christopher:
I'm Chris.



Jerry Siegel:
I'm bald and no one in particular.



Ty:
I know who you are.



Christopher:
Yeah? What do you know?



Ty:
I know that you're the state assemblyman. I know that you're thinking of running for Senator. I know your voting record and your consistent stand on environmental causes.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[in a meeting, discussing the board voting 5-2 in favour of Brent taking Taylor-Clark's job]



David Brent:
What's five out of seven as a percentage?


[Brent checks calculator]



Jennifer Taylor-Clark:
Er... 70%.



David Brent:
71.4. So...



Jennifer Taylor-Clark:
Call Susan and arrange the meet with the board and finalise all the details. Congratulations and good luck.



David Brent:
You don't need luck when you've got 71.4% of the population behind you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Schemer:
J.B. King Esquire. Exalted head of the Indian Valley Railroad. My favorite. Can I talk to you a second? I understand that you are on the committee that's going to pick Santa's helper for the holiday pageant. Then I feel it is my duty to inform you about some flaw's in my opponent's character.



J.B. King:
Flaws in Miss Jones' character?



Schemer:
Did you know that she trains rats?



J.B. King:
She trains rats? Why?



Schemer:
Why? Um... To steal cheese! To steal cheese! Because she is so fond of cheese sandwiches, see? Now that is something to consider when you're voting on who should be Santa's helper. After all, do you want a rat training, cheese theif? Or somebody who's honest and wholesome and good and cute? Someone like, me for instance?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[On Saddam Hussein]



Rory Bremner:
But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair. No, the difference is Saddam rules Iraq through a combination of terror and brutality, backed up by a vicious regime of intimidation and torture - or is that David Blunkett? As absolute ruler Saddam recently claimed 100% victory in a Presidential Election.



John Fortune:
Although that's not surprising, given that voters were accompanied into the booths by Saddam's Ba'ath party officials, and given a choice between voting for Saddam or voting for their wives and children to be killed, and their houses to be burnt down.



Peter Snow:
And just a bit of fun, just a bit of fun, even small children were counted as supporters on the principal that you might as well throw in the baby with the Ba'ath voter. Ha ha.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Roy Cohn:
[under the impression that Belize is the Angel of Death] Can I ask you something, sir?



Belize:
[going along with it] "Sir"?



Roy Cohn:
What's it like? After?



Belize:
After...?



Roy Cohn:
This misery ends?



Belize:
Hell or heaven?



Roy Cohn:
...heh...



Belize:
Like San Francisco.



Roy Cohn:
A city! Good! I was worried... it'd be a garden. I hate that shit.



Belize:
Mmmm. Big city. Overgrown with weeds, but flowering weeds. On every corner a wrecking crew and something new and crooked going up catty corner to that. Windows missing in every edifice like broken teeth, gritty wind, and a gray high sky full of ravens.



Roy Cohn:
Isaiah.



Belize:
Prophet birds, Roy. Piles of trash, but lapidary like rubies and obsidian, and diamond-colored cowspit streamers in the wind. And voting booths. And everyone in Balenciaga gowns with red corsages, and big dance palaces full of music and lights and racial impurity and gender confusion. And all the deities are creole, mulatto, brown as the mouths of rivers. Race, taste and history finally overcome. And you ain't there.



Roy Cohn:
And Heaven?



Belize:
That was Heaven, Roy.



Roy Cohn:
The fuck it was!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Himself - Co-host:
I'm here to explain why black people will never be nominated for anything. This show is going out to 75 million people - none of them black. We don't even know how to vote. There's 3,349 people in the voting thing and only two black people, Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte. We're quitting. You'll have to listen to Lawrence Welk.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
For our white members, voting is something they have done for hundreds of years. But for us, it is not such a traumatic thing, because we have never participated in an election.More [07/30/2009 12:07:00]
If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.More [07/09/2011 04:07:29]
We must continue to have voting rights in the state, not to politicize this, but they must have a voice in the rebuilding effort in the community from which they have been displaced.More [07/26/2011 03:07:51]
I hope that no American will waste his franchise and throw away his vote by voting either for me or against me solely on account of my religious affiliation. It is not relevant.More [08/02/2011 02:08:09]
If voting changed anything, they'd abolish it.More [08/03/2011 01:08:58]
It is important that the Iraqi people have confidence in the election results and that the voting process, including the process for vote counting, is free and fair.More [08/04/2011 10:08:03]
Perhaps the fact that we have seen millions voting themselves into complete dependence on a tyrant has made our generation understand that to choose one's government is not necessarily to secure freedom.More [08/14/2011 01:08:09]
I'm voting for Gore because the other is unthinkable. Which most of us will probably do. I hope all of us. I've always liked Ralph Nader and would like to see a real third party, but the thought of Ge rge Bush as president is unthinkable.More [08/18/2011 04:08:04]
So that they can actually make it known to the American people before they vote what they're voting for.More [08/27/2011 03:08:26]
It's absolutely absurd to even consider voting on Sunday alcohol sales. I am opposed to alcohol period. It doesn't do anybody any good in the long run. It's a dangerous drug.More [09/01/2011 08:09:24]
I believe that voting is the first act of building a community as well as building a country.More [09/11/2011 06:09:32]
The act of voting by ordinary Iraqis in the face of extreme danger confirms President Bush's belief that people around the globe, when given a chance, will choose liberty and democracy over enslavement and tyranny.More [09/11/2011 06:09:36]
Voting is the most precious right of every citizen, and we have a moral obligation to ensure the integrity of our voting process.More [10/01/2011 12:10:17]
Corona's close personal and professional relationship with [Arroyo], taken together with his voting track record in which he consistently upheld Arroyo's position in 'politically-significant' cases and the statements he made during the oral arguments of aforementioned cases, undeniably creates a strong perception that he is biased in favor of [Arroyo]More [12/08/2011 12:12:57]
We continue to explore the possibilities of what can be done to remedy the unfairness of thousands of residents of Palm Beach County who believed they were voting for Al Gore, but had those votes calculated for Pat Buchanan, ... Our legal team has determined that the ballot in Palm Beach County was unlawful.More [01/12/2012 06:01:02]
People who vote against this today are voting against me and I will not forget.More [03/10/2012 02:03:47]
In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants.More [07/05/2012 02:07:58]
Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world to stuff the ballot.More [07/08/2012 08:07:15]
The Voting Rights Act of 1965 was indeed a vital instrument of democracy, ensuring the integrity and reliability of a democratic process that we as a Country hold so dear.More [08/11/2012 09:08:45]
They have assured us that the voting is as fair as possible.More [10/23/2012 07:10:25]
I had the good fortune to be able to right an injustice that I thought was being heaped on young people by lowering the voting age, where you had young people that were old enough to die in Vietnam but not old enough to vote for their members of Congress that sent them there.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
From 1965 to 1967, my dad, Jack Gilligan, served in Congress and helped pass landmark laws like the Voting Rights Act.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
Well, my personal mission statement is that we want marriage equality in all 50 states. We want it not to be a state-by-state issue. We don't want it to be something the majority is voting on. I don't think the civil rights of any minority should be in the hands of any majority.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
Our DNA is as a consumer company - for that individual customer who's voting thumbs up or thumbs down. That's who we think about. And we think that our job is to take responsibility for the complete user experience. And if it's not up to par, it's our fault, plain and simply.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
The failure in Ohio to have adequate voting capacity for the people who were registered and eligible to vote was an absolute denial of their right to vote.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
When public access to voting is impaired or when public confidence in voting is diluted, democracy suffers and our freedom is less secure.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I think it's very clear that the American people are frustrated with this move toward socialism. And so whether you're back or white, if you believe that the conservative construct is in the best interest of our future, than you too would be voting with Republicans, and if you had the opportunity to run you'd join us as well.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]

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Quotes of the month

Author Unknown Labor made a man from a monkey. Vacation returns some to their original state. [09/07/2022 05:09:05] More


Vadim Siromyassky It happens that you are silent, but nobody already no longer understood you. [09/22/2022 07:09:09] More


Author Unknown Give a man what he wants and you will deprive him of the meaning of life. [09/11/2022 06:09:14] More


Author Unknown A drop of common sense revives hope. [09/13/2022 12:09:28] More


Vladimir Butkov I'll go to the Milky Way, milk the Big Dipper... [09/06/2022 11:09:08] More