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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The supply of time is a daily miracle. You wake up in the morning and lo! Your purse is magnificently filled with 24 hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of life. It is yours! The most precious of your possessions.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Inflation is determined by money supply growth.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The sinews of war, a limitless supply of money.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Historians are to nationalism what poppy-growers in Pakistan are to heroin-addicts: we supply the essential raw material for the market.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He is one of those wise philanthropists who, in a time of famine, would vote for nothing, but a supply of toothpicks.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Creative powers can just as easily turn out to be destructive. It rests solely with the moral personality whether they apply themselves to good things or to bad. And if this is lacking, no teacher can supply it or take its place.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The supply of government exceeds demand.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The job of the press is to encourage debate, not to supply the public with information.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word collectible as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Always think of your customers as suppliers first. Work closely with them, so they can supply you with the information you need to supply them with the right products and services.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
In Texas, years ago, almost all of the oil came from surface operations. Then someone got the idea that there were greater sources of supply deeper down. A well was drilled five thousand feet deep. The result? A gusher. Too many of us operate on the surface. We never go deep enough to find supernatural resources. The result is, we never operate at our best. More time and investment is involved to go deep but a gusher will pay off.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
When we have nothing to worry about we are not doing much, and not doing much may supply us with plenty of future worries.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
If you have great talents, industry will improve them: if you have but moderate abilities, industry will supply their deficiency.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
One cannot but wonder at this constantly recurring phrase getting something for nothing, as if it were the peculiar and perverse ambition of disturbers of society. Except for our animal outfit, practically all we have is handed us gratis. Can the most complacent reactionary flatter himself that he invented the art of writing or the printing press, or discovered his religious, economic, and moral convictions, or any of the devices which supply him with meat and raiment or any of the sources of such pleasure as he may derive from literature or the fine arts? In short, civilization is little else than getting something for nothing.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There is a supply for every demand.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The object of preaching is to constantly remind mankind of what they keep forgetting; not to supply the intellect, but to fortify the feebleness of human resolutions.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Advice is the only commodity on the market where the supply always exceeds the demand.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The supply of words in the world market is plentiful but the demand is falling. Let deeds follow words now.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty counsels. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He is a great simpleton who imagines that the chief power of wealth is to supply wants. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it creates more wants than it supplies.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Maury Ballstein: What do we do when we fall off the horse?
Derek Zoolander: [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently] ... fall off the horse...
Maury Ballstein: [looking to supply finish] ... we... get back on the horse!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.More [10/09/2005 12:10:00]
“The fight to save family farms isn't just about farmers. It's about making sure that there is a safe and healthy food supply for all of us. It's about jobs, from Main Street to Wall Street. It's about a better America.”More [11/13/2006 12:11:00]
DJ Iz: That's why brothers need to sign themselves a deal. I'm telling you record labels supply niggers with the kind of benefits they need.
Sol: Dawg. We sign us a deal you can take the motherfucking benefits, we're talking Bentley's and Benjamins not Blue Cross and Blue Shield.
Future: Look to tell you all niggers the truth, I don't give a fuck about none of that. I just wanna hit 31 and a 3rd on the box you know what I'm saying? One of them strong songs on JLB.
DJ Iz: No what we need to do is save that shit up and put it into some savings bonds every week, stack it and build our own studio.
Future: Savings Bonds?
Sol: [to DJ] Let me ask you a question Dawg. How the fuck are we brothers? We need fine bitches and fat rides not no godamn savings bonds.
Jimmy Smith Jr: Man that's all we ever do is talk shit.
[imitating Sol]
Jimmy Smith Jr: We need to get fine btiches and fat rides,
[imitating DJ]
Jimmy Smith Jr: No, what weed to do is put our money in savings bonds,
[imitating future]
Jimmy Smith Jr: No! what we need to do is put our songs on JLB. Man shut the fuck up. All of us never do shit about nuttin' and we're still broke as fuck and living at home with our moms.More [03/29/2007 12:03:00]
Howie Stein: Please, I just supply them with pussy!
Lester Kincaid: I just want to get people high, man!More [04/24/2007 12:04:00]
Evey Hammond: [takes a bite of the breakfast V cooked] It's delicious! God, I haven't had real butter since I was a little girl! Where did you get it?
V: A government supply train on its way to Chancellor Sutler.
Evey Hammond: You stole this from Chancellor Sutler?
V: Yes.
Evey Hammond: You're insane!More [05/21/2007 12:05:00]
It is important that all West Virginians exercise patience and calm during the upcoming days, … There is no reason to panic and rush to the pump, as that will only further deplete the state’s supply of fuel. If you don’t need gasoline, don’t purchase it.More [07/23/2007 12:07:00]
“What we have is a supply chain that is global in nature ... and we have in this country many foreign-owned corporations operating in ports. Our ports are owned by public authorities in the United States. Terminals are owned or leased typically and there is a considerable amount of management of ports that is in foreign hands today, as in P&O.”More [10/01/2007 12:10:00]
Jesse: Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?
Chester: [opens cupboard] I'd say it's entirely possible.More [10/04/2007 12:10:00]
Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us?
Trautman: You send that many, don't forget one thing.
Teasle: What?
Trautman: A good supply of body bags.More [11/09/2007 12:11:00]
Barney Rubble: Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?
Fred Flintstone: ...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.More [11/13/2007 12:11:00]
James Bond: You'll kill 60,000 people uselessly.
Auric Goldfinger: Hah. American motorists kill that many every two years.
James Bond: Yes, well, I've worked out a few statistics of my own. 15 billion dollars in gold bullion weighs 10,500 tons. Sixty men would take twelve days to load it onto 200 trucks. Now, at the most, you're going to have two hours before the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines move in and make you put it back.
Auric Goldfinger: Who mentioned anything about removing it?
[Bond is stunned into silence]
Auric Goldfinger: The julep tart enough for you?
James Bond: You plan to break into the world's largest bank, but not to steal anything. Why?
Auric Goldfinger: Go on, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: [thinking] Mr. Ling, the Red Chinese at the factory, he's a specialist in nuclear fission... but of course! His government's given you a bomb.
Auric Goldfinger: I prefer to call it an "atomic device." It's small, but particularly dirty.
James Bond: Cobalt and iodine?
Auric Goldfinger: Precisely.
James Bond: Well, if you explode it in Fort Knox, the... the entire gold supply of the United States would be radioactive for... fifty-seven years.
Auric Goldfinger: Fifty-eight, to be exact.
James Bond: I apologize, Goldfinger. It's an inspired deal! They get what they want, economic chaos in the West. And the value of your gold increases many times.
Auric Goldfinger: I conservatively estimate, ten times.
James Bond: Brilliant.More [12/28/2007 12:12:00]
Irene Walsh: [to Rosalita] This is my supply closet. You'll find everything you need - brooms, dust pans, insect spray... I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clarke, can you translate?
Mouth: [translation to Rosalita] If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.
Irene Walsh: [directed towards mouth] You are so fluent in Spanish. That was so nice of you.
Mouth: "Nice" is my middle name, Mrs. Walsh.More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]
Hippie Student: [Kumar trying to buy pot] Here, that's sixt - 80 bucks.
Kumar: 80 bucks?
Hippie Student: Yeah, 80 bucks.
Kumar: Yo, this is worth 40 tops bro!
Hippie Student: Bro? I'm not your bro, bro. ok, and that's 80 bucks. You don't feel like getting high tonight? If you don't feel like getting high, that's cool with me because there's lots of people around here. See this guy? Hey, what's up, George? I smoke buds with George all the time.
Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?
Hippie Student: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.More [02/06/2008 12:02:00]
Jigsaw: Hello, Jeff. I made this tape as an insurance policy, if you will. And if you're listening to it, then it's time to collect. I was your final test of forgiveness and if you're listening to this, then you've failed. Now you must pay the price. The price for living for nothing but vengeance. Now I will give you something to live for. I told you that you couldn't kill me, Jeff, but I didn't tell you why. The answer is simple. I am the person responsible for the loss of your child. I am the only person who knows where your daughter is. She only has a limited supply of air, Jeff, and if you want to get her back, you'll have to play a game.
Jeff: No!
Dr. Lynn Denlon: Jeff!
[Lynn's collar detonates]More [02/19/2008 12:02:00]
Choozoo: Hey crotch rot! You gonna slurp my lifer's juice out of my own cup?
Highway: Yeah, I guess I should have gotten shots before hand.
Choozoo: If your brain was half as smart as your mouth, skunk stool, you'd be a frickin' twenty star general by now.
Choozoo: And if I were half as ugly as your, Sergeant Major, I'd be a poster boy for a profilactic.
Choozoo: Still a mean and nasty bastard! Goddamn! Good to see you, Tom. Back where you belong!
Highway: Easy now, or everyone's gonna thing I'm spoken for.
Choozoo: [seeing the major in the doorway] Ten-hut! Morning, sir!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sergeant Major.
Choozoo: Coffee, sir?
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Negative.
Highway: Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Highway, reporting for duty, sir.
[Major Powers turns and walks away]
Choozoo: That operations officer's fart hole's sewed so tight he shits out of his mouth.
Highway: Academy?
Choozoo: Big time football hero.
Highway: When am I ever going to get a break?
Choozoo: Never.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Sergeant Major!
Choozoo: Sir!
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Bring in Gunnery Sergeant Highway.
[looking at Highway's file]
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Been in a long time.
Highway: I've felt some heat, sir.
Choozoo: Korea. Dominican. Three tours in 'Nam. Hell, this old ass in the grass bulldog's carrying around so much shrapnel he can't pass through an airport metal detector.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: I haven't as yet had the privelige of combat. I've recently come over from supply and logistics.
Choozoo: An unappreciated field of endevour, sir.
Maj. Malcolm A. Powers: Quite. My record of achievement thus far as been exemplary. I fully intend for that to continue.
Highway: Sir?More [02/19/2008 12:02:00]
Brody: Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?
Hooper: Yeah.
Brody: And that... and that before people started to swim for recreation - I mean before sharks knew what they were missing - that a lot of these attacks weren't reported?
Hooper: That's right.
Brody: Now this shark that... that... that swims alone...
Hooper: Rogue.
Brody: What's it called?
Hooper, Brody: [together] Rogue.
Brody: Rogue, yeah. Now this guy, he... he keeps swimmin' around in a place where the feeding is good until the food supply is gone, right?
Hooper: It's called "territoriality". It's just a theory that I happen to... agree with.
Brody: Then why don't we have one more drink and go down and cut that shark open?
Ellen Brody: Martin? Can you do that?
Brody: I can do anything; I'm the chief of police.More [04/29/2008 12:04:00]
Algren: Sergeant Gant, report to the rear and see to the disposition of the supply trains.
[Gant does not move, but continues loading his rifle]
Algren: Sergeant Gant, did you hear my order?
Zebulon Gant: I did indeed, sir.
Algren: Good, then you will obey it. Now!
Zebulon Gant: No disrespect intended, sir, but shove it up your ass.More [07/09/2008 12:07:00]
Old Lodge Skins: There is an endless supply of white men. There has always been a limited number of human beings.More [07/27/2008 12:07:00]
Tom: Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!More [08/06/2008 12:08:00]
Yuri Orlov: The reason I'll be released is the same reason you think I'll be convicted. I *do* rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of these men are the enemies of *your* enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss - the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than I do in a year - sometimes it's embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like me to supply forces he can't be seen supplying. So. You call me evil, but unfortunately for you, I'm a necessary evil.More [08/12/2008 12:08:00]
To supply people for ages in camps makes no sense... You have to rebuild that cabana that they rent out to tourists on the weekend. They need help getting their fields repaired and their boats repaired.More [09/21/2008 12:09:00]
Geoff Carter:
Got a match?

Bonnie Lee:
Say, don't you ever have any?

Geoff Carter:
No - don't believe in laying in a supply of anything.

[she hands him a match]

Geoff Carter:

Bonnie Lee:
Matches, marbles, money or women, huh?

Geoff Carter:
That's right.

Bonnie Lee:
No looking ahead; no tomorrows; just today.

Geoff Carter:
That's right.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Woody Jason:
[after hitting bridge and supply train] Give the gentleman a cee-gar!

Jim Gordon:
If they wanna cross that river now, they'll have to swim it!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Second Train Conductor:
Tickets, please.

Bridget 'Brig' Hilton:
Conductor, can't we do anything to get this train going?

Second Train Conductor:
I wish we could, but those supply trains have the right-of-way.

Bridget 'Brig' Hilton:
But we're going to meet my Pop! He's in the Army, and if this train is late, we may not see him before he leaves!

Second Train Conductor:
Don't you think those tanks had better get through if you want him to come back?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
We're confronted with an unusual problem, Mr. Autry. While our population has almost doubled in population in the past five years our water supply has been steadily diminishing. The wells we've depended on would be inadequate under any circumstances, but now they're drying up. Mesa City must have additional water immediately, at any cost.

Gene Autry:
Well, assuming that the ranchers accept your proposition, what about the Indians? They have rights, too.

Well, they'll be given other land, comparable in value up here.

[Smith indicates a spot on a map]

Gene Autry:
Mr. Smith, I know that land in here pretty well. It wouldn't even make good brick.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the regiment is getting ready to attack - Col. Thursday scans the horizon with his binoculars]

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
I don't see them. Not a one.

Captain Yorke:
Well, they're down there, sir... among the rocks.

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
Have you seen 'em, Captain?

Captain Yorke:
I don't have to - I know.

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:

Captain Yorke:
'Cause if I were Cochise, that's where I'd take up position.

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
And that dust cloud beyond?

Captain Yorke:
It's an Apache trick. Probably squaws and children draggin' mesquite.

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
[dubious, sarcastically] Very ingenious, Captain. You make me suspect your Cochise has studied under Alexander the Great, or Bonaparte at the least. Gentlemen, march your troops. We'll charge in a column of fours.

Captain Yorke:
Mounted in fours? That's suicide, Colonel! I tell you they're down there...

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
Captain Yorke, you're relieved of command of your troop. There's no room in this regiment for a coward.

Captain Yorke:
[angrily throws down his glove in front of Col. Thursday] At your service, sir!

Lt. Col. Owen Thursday:
Bugler, pick up Captain Yorke's gauntlet. I'm no duellist, Captain. I will decide whether I will answer you with pistols or a general court martial. You will remain on the ridge... in safety... with the supply train. Take O'Rourke with you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Lenore Brent:
Wherever I am, I sing at the drop of a hat.

Dan Milner:
Even if you have to supply the hat?

Lenore Brent:

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Col. Feroud:
I have here your dossier. It contains the history of your life. You're a man entirely without moral scruples of any kind. You supply the Syrians with guns and ammunition, but I respect them, they fight for a cause. Your cause is only money. While Frenchmen and Syrians kill each other, you profit by it. According to military law you have to be shot. The punishment seems hardly adequate.

Harry Smith:
What have you got me up here for? To watch me sweat, to watch me crawl? I'll bet they didn't bring Nasir up here before they shot him.

Col. Feroud:
What a pity you could only die once.

Harry Smith:
Sure, I know I'm going to be shot, but not for running guns, but because I'm something special. I made a monkey out of you. I'm the guy that ran off with your girl.

Col. Feroud:
Don't you realize if I *wanted* you shot, you'd be in a ditch right now?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. I.Q. High:
I have called for you, Dodgers, because we are facing a crisis. The world supply of Illudium Phosdex, the shaving cream atom, is alarmingly low.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Prince Roland's capture of the Spanish supply ships are not without casualties]

Prince Roland:
We grow smaller with each victory.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Barnes Wallace:
Do you know how much water it takes the Germans to make a ton of steel?

I haven't the least idea.

Barnes Wallace:
One hundred tons. Now just look at this.

[gestures to a map on his desk]

Barnes Wallace:
The whole of this great arsenal of war factories in the Ruhr depends for its water on three enormous dams. The Moehne. The Eder. And, the Sorpe. They control the level of the canals and supply a lot of hydroelectric power as well. When those are full they hold four hundred *million* tons of water. Just think of the chaos if we could break those walls down.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Lt. Cmdr. Matt T. Sherman:
Subject, Toilet paper. One: on 6 June 1941, this vessel submitted a requisition for 150 rolls of toilet paper. On 16 December 1941 the requisition was returned with stamped notation, 'Cannot identify material required.' Two: the commanding officer of the USS SeaTiger cannot help but wonder what is being used at the Caviti Supply Depot as a substitute for this unidentifiable material once so well known to this command.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Captain Nemo:
[to Spilitt] You supply the ink. The soldiers supply the blood.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tommy Tyler:
Your man here's been good enough to supply me with a few odds and ends for the fish I sent over this morning.

The price of fish seems to have gone up.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Hogan impersonating Gestapo and holds up a General at gunpoint]

What is this, you are not Gestapo?

Lucky for you, we're going to get you out of this country.

But I don't want to leave the country.

After your supply factory is blown up and the Gestapo blame you and you still want to stay?

I'm coming with you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Lt. Weaver:
[speaking to U.S. Army M.P.s he knew were Germans in disguise at the fuel supply camp, in a sarcastic voice] Does the road to Ambileve still lead to Malmedy?

[then he shoots them]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Capt. Kirk:
Spock, give me an update on the dark area ahead.

No analysis due to insufficient information.

Capt. Kirk:
No speculation, no information, nothing? I've asked you three times for information on that thing and you've been unable to supply it. Insufficient information is not sufficient, Mr Spock! You're the science officer. You're supposed to have sufficient data all the time.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Zaius:
Dr. Zira, I must caution you. Experimental brain surgery on these creatures is one thing, and I'm all in favor of it. But your behavior studies are another matter. To suggest that we can learn anything about the simian nature from a study of man is sheer nonsense. Why, man is a nuisance. He eats up his food supply in the forest, then migrates to our green belts and ravages our crops. The sooner he is exterminated, the better. It's a question of simian survival.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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Quotes of the month

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