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quote

One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The next best thing to saying a good thing yourself, is to quote one.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I think we must quote whenever we feel that the allusion is interesting or helpful or amusing.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
We rarely quote nowadays to appeal to authority... though we quote sometimes to display our sapience and erudition. Some authors we quote against. Some we quote not at all, offering them our scrupulous avoidance, and so make them part of our white mythology. Other authors we constantly invoke, chanting their names in cerebral rituals of propitiation or ancestor worship.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
You have got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because when you quote him accurately it is called mudslinging.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I quote others in order to better express myself.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The essence of a quote is the compression of a mass of thought and observation into a single saying.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
In quoting of books, quote such authors as are usually read; others you may read for your own satisfaction, but not name them.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Ace Ventura: [with a German accent] How can I be getting zis vork done mit all de shouting? What's wrong mit de shouting?
Reporter: Who's That?
Ace Ventura: Heinz Getwellvet. I am trainer of dolphins. You want to talk to de dolphin, you talk to me.
Reporter: What happened to the other trainer?
Ace Ventura: Vat happened to him? Vat happened to me? Seven years I am mit Siegfried.
[he holds up only four fingers]
Ace Ventura: Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming mit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone.
Reporter: [skeptically] Where is Snowflake?
Ace Ventura: Why do you care about de dolphin? Do you know him? Does he call you at home?
[shouts]
Ace Ventura: Do you have a dorsal fin? To train ze dolphin you must zink like ze dolphin! You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head und communicating. I am saying to Snowflake, "Kay kay kay kay?" und he is saying "Kay kay" und he is up on ze tail "Eeeeeeeeee!" und you can quote him!
Roger Podacter: Let's got to that conference and let, uh, Heinz do his work?
Ace Ventura: [shooing reporters] Go to de conference, go to it. More [07/21/2005 12:07:00]
Lola Jackson: Did the President just quote Tupac?More [10/20/2005 12:10:00]
Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen?
Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the time.More [01/28/2006 12:01:00]
So you can say whatever you want and quote me however you want about politics and make the next payday, and that's fine because I'm making that deal with you, but just mention the movie along the way, OK?More [05/18/2006 12:05:00]
“Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.”More [07/11/2006 12:07:00]
When I was working with George C. Scott on The Titanic, he knew every episode! He would quote lines from it, and I was so flattered because I couldn't believe it was such a classic to him.More [09/14/2006 12:09:00]
I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I hope more people decide to become organ donors.”More [11/11/2006 12:11:00]
Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say...
Eckhardt: And I say... you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.More [03/19/2007 12:03:00]
[gay and straight protesters get a hearing from the Governor of South Park on gay marriage]
Governor: I believe that I might have come up with a compromise to this whole problem that will make everyone happy! People in the gay community want the same rights as married couples, but dissenters don't want the word "marriage" corrupted. So how about we let gay people get married, but call it something else?
[everyone listens quietly]
Governor: You homosexuals will have all the exact same rights as married couples, but, instead of referring to you as "married", you can be... butt buddies.
[long silence]
Governor: Instead of being "man and wife", you'll be... butt buddies. You won't be "betrothed", you'll be...
[makes quote with his fingers]
Governor: ... butt buddies. Get it? Instead of a "bride and groom", you'd be...
[makes quote with his fingers again]
Governor: ... butt buddies.
Mr. Slave: We wanna be treated equally!
Governor: You *are* equal. It's just that, instead of getting engaged, you would be... butt buddies. And everyone is happy!
Woman: [from the lesbian crowd] Well, what about lesbians?
Governor: Well, like anyone cares about fuckin' dykes!
[the crowd goes into an uproar]
Governor: [embarrassed] Oh, God, I was sure that would work.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Ellie Arroway: l read your book.
Palmer Joss: Here we go.
Ellie Arroway: You want me to quote you? "lronically, the thing people are most hungry for; meaning,is the one thing science hasn't been able to give them."
Palmer Joss: Yeah.
Ellie Arroway: [humorously] Come on! lt's like you're saying that science killed God. What if science simply revealed that He never existed in the first place?
Palmer Joss: I think we're gonna need to get some air.
Ellie Arroway: Oh?
Palmer Joss: [takes two champagne glasses] And a few more of these...More [08/01/2007 12:08:00]
John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?More [08/22/2007 12:08:00]
Henry: [as Danielle rushes away] Have we met?
Danielle: I do not believe so, Your Highness.
Henry: I could have sworn I knew every courtier in the providence.
Danielle: Well, I'm visiting a cousin.
Henry: Who?
Danielle: My cousin.
Henry: Yes, you said that. Which one?
Danielle: Th-the only one I have, sire.
Henry: Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?
Danielle: [stops quickly] No.
[quickly heads towards the gate]
Danielle: And yes.
Henry: Well, then, pray tell me your cousin's name so that I might call upon her to learn who you are. For anyone who can quote Thomas More is well worth the effort.
[Danielle stops]More [10/18/2007 12:10:00]
Henry: [as Danielle hurries away] Have we met?
Danielle: I-I do not believe so, Your Highness.
Henry: I could have sworn I knew every courtier in the provience.
Danielle: Well... I am visiting a cousin.
Henry: Who?
Danielle: My cousin.
Henry: Yes, you said that. Which one?
Danielle: Th-the only one I have, sire.
Henry: Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?
Danielle: [stops quickly] No.
[quickly heads towards the gate]
Danielle: And yes.
Henry: Well, then, pray tell me your cousin's name so that I might call upon her to learn who you are. For anyone who can quote Thomas More is well worth the effort.
Danielle: [stops] The Prince has read Utopia?
Henry: I found it sentimental and dull. Honestly, the plight of the everyday rustic bores me.
Danielle: I... take it you do not converse with many peasants.
Henry: Ha, certainly not, no. Naturally.
Danielle: [starts walking again] Forgive me, Your Highness, but there is nothing "natural" about it. A country's character is defined by its "everyday rustics," as you call them. They are the legs you stand on and that position demands *respect,* not...
Henry: Am I to understand that you find me... arrogant?
Danielle: Well, you gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?
Henry: Please, I beg of you, a name. Any name.
Danielle: I... I fear the only name to leave you with... is "Comtesse Nicole du Lancre."More [10/18/2007 12:10:00]
[looking at the books in the Franciscan monastery]
Danielle: It makes me want to cry.
Henry: Pick one.
Danielle: I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens.
Henry: What is it that touches you so?
Danielle: I suppose it is because when I was young my father would stay up late and read to me. He was addicted to the written word and I would fall asleep listening to the sound of his voice.
Henry: What sort of books?
Danielle: Science, philosophy... I suppose they remind me of him. He died when I was eight. Utopia was the last book he brought home.
Henry: Which explains why you quote it.
Danielle: I would rather hear his voice again than any sound in the world.
[Henry smiles, then the smile fades and he begins walking down the stairs away from Danielle]
Danielle: Is something wrong?
Henry: [turns to face her] In all my years of study, not one tutor ever demonstrated the passion you have shown me in the last two days. You have more conviction in one memory than I have... in my entire being.
[laughs slightly, walks away, Danielle follows]
Danielle: Your Highness, if there is anything I have said or done...
Henry: Please... don't. It's not you.More [10/18/2007 12:10:00]
Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
Ferris: I do have a test today. that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
Claire: Where are you going?
Robert: Looks like I'm going nowhere.
Claire: Don't you fucking quote Star Wars at me!More [11/28/2007 12:11:00]
Alfred Eaton: I know you've come to congratulate me. Thank you very much my...
Mary St. John: You're making a fool of yourself.
Alfred Eaton: Oh, that was terribly considerate of you last night when you were telling me about the quote "beautiful relationship we could have" end quote, but you never bothered mentioning anything about the partnership, because maybe I would've thought the partnership had something to do with your new found if somewhat unwholesome interest in our marriage.
Mary St. John: [while Alfred is walking briskly away] Alfred. Alfred, I want to talk to you.
Alfred Eaton: Any further communication between you and me will be through legal channels.
Mary St. John: All right, go to her, but it won't do you any good.
Alfred Eaton: If she's foolish enough to still have me, nothing will stop me from spending the rest of my life with her.
Mary St. John: Well I'm going to stop you, because I'll never give you a divorce.
Alfred Eaton: Wait till you see the the little collection of photographs our friend Creighton Duffy will release for public consumption.
Mary St. John: What photographs?
Alfred Eaton: You won't be able to show your face in this entire city if you don't give me a divorce. How do you like them apples?More [12/04/2007 12:12:00]
I do remember that TV Guide did a quote that the three of us can be compared to Earth, Wind and Fire. Michele was the Earth, I was the Wind and Donna was the Fire. I think that really captured it.More [12/07/2007 12:12:00]
Archbishop: Lenny, offically the church won't take any postion with the religious implications of these phenomenons. Personally Lenny, I think it's a sign from God, but don't quote me on that.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think that's a smart move, Mike.More [12/14/2007 12:12:00]
Matthew: Well, I don't speak a foreign language, so that's out. And I can't quote John F. Kennedy now, can I, Ryan?More [12/22/2007 12:12:00]
Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: [actual quote from the Battle of Bull Run] Up, men! Up, Virginians! Hold your fire until they are within fifty yards, and then give them the bayonet! And when you charge, yell like furies!More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Edward R. Murrow: [Referring to a Julius Caesar quote said by Senator McCarthy] Had Senator McCarthy looked just three lines earlier he would have found this: "The fault dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves...”More [12/30/2007 12:12:00]
Sean: Thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right?
[Will nods]
Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.More [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.More [02/11/2008 12:02:00]
Life coaching has received a lot of press recently; it seems you can hardly pick up a newspaper or magazine without reading a quote from a life coach.More [03/02/2008 12:03:00]
CIA Operative: If I ever hear from you again, the CIA will be on you like a cheap suit from the Men's Wearhouse. You'll be arrested, jailed, and sodomized by a big, dumb, large-cocked Serbian bastard for the rest of your shitty little lives. And if you don't care about that, if you *like* big Serbian cock and you still plan on reporting any of this, then your friend Boris will find himself eaten by a tiger or a lion or a squirrel of whatever fucking animal we can find in darkest Africa. And you'll have to live with *that*.
Simon: I assume that I can quote you on the squirrel remark.More [04/05/2008 12:04:00]
Reporter: Can we quote you on that, Mr. Henshaw?
Samuel G. Henshaw: Verbatim! And you can tell them that's the trouble with the whole country today! Someone starts a rumor, and we're afraid. What we need is that good old American spirit! And to show just how cock-eyed this rumor is, I'm starting work on the East Gate Project tomorrow, and this is the man I'm putting in charge of that worthy project! Jeff Hale, he has vision!More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]
Maynard: What's the matter?
Dolly Fletcher: Nothing. It's love in bloom.
Maynard: Goodbye. I've watched it bloom before.
Willy Grogan: Look, Dolly... this may seem funny to you but... the kid doesn't know about us.
Dolly Fletcher: I gathered that much. I can even quote you. "Rose, this is Miss What's-her-name. She just happened to drop by this morning." Were you so scared, you couldn't even remember my name?
Willy Grogan: Dolly...
Dolly Fletcher: What is there to know about us anyway? Am I a lady barber or something? They've got sex in the Bronx, too, so what's the mystery?
Willy Grogan: I'm only trying to tell you, she's only a baby... a protected baby.
Dolly Fletcher: Oh come off it! Babies aren't built like that. And besides... if you're such a blue-nosed puritan about your sister... then - - just forget it.
Willy Grogan: I just didn't know she was coming up here, understand? I-I-I just wasn't prepared.
Dolly Fletcher: I know. You're not prepared for a lot of things. I'm beginning to get the idea.More [05/25/2008 12:05:00]
[Jamison finishes reading the letter that Spaulding dictated to him]



Horatio Jamison:
[reading] "Quotes, unquotes, and quotes."



Capt. Spaulding:
That's three quotes?



Horatio Jamison:
Yes, sir.



Capt. Spaulding:
Add another quote and make it a gallon. How much is it a gallon, Jamison?



Horatio Jamison:
Regards.



Capt. Spaulding:
Regards. That's a fine letter, Jamison, that's an epic. That's dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of that letter and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just send a stamp, airmail, that's all. You may go, Jamison. I may go too.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Raven:
I'm straight and on the level, as I said before, my stealing days are over, quote the Raven, never more!



Wolf:
Huh, selling wackuum cleaners at 3 o' clock in the morning? Come clean, what's the racket now?



The Raven:
Well you see I've one left over to complete my daily quota, so I came a rapping and a tapping at your door. But if you don't believe it, then I'll take my hat and beat it, and I'll never knock again upon your door. Quote the Raven, never more!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Mangrum:
If I felt cynical, this would be a good opportunity to observe that we're about to see a perfect example of "an eye for an eye", et cetera. Unfortunately, I can't quote chapter and verse... and I'm too tired to be cynical.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[preceded by a hail of gunfire, Yosemite Sam enters the Gunshot Saloon]



Cowboy #1:
Yosemite Sam!



Cowboy #2:
It's Yosemite Sam!



Yosemite Sam:
Yeah, Yosemite Sam - the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombré that's ever crossed the Rio Grande. An' I ain't no namby-pamby.


[In some cuts of the cartoon, Sam finished the quote with "... and I don't mean Mahatma Gandhi."]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Captain Yorke:
[quoting regulations] "An officer, upon reporting to a new post, must wait upon his commanding officer at the first possible moment. He will leave his card."



2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke:
[continuing to quote the regulation] "He will leave an additional card for each lady in the commanding officer's family."



Captain Yorke:
[continuing] "All other officers on the post will, in turn, leave their cards at the quarters of the incoming officer."


[to O'Rourke]



Captain Yorke:
Right?



2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke:
Right!


[to Philadelphia]



2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke:
Now do you understand?



Philadelphia Thursday:
It was just a duty call?



Captain Yorke:
That's it - just a duty call. But there's nothing in the regulations that says the commanding officer's daughter should receive such cards on her backporch... in her nightie.



Philadelphia Thursday:
Pish tosh! This is not a nightie.


[to O'Rourke]



Philadelphia Thursday:
It's a dressing gown, isn't it?



2nd Lt. Michael O'Rourke:
I wouldn't know.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Henry Holland:
I must apologize, gentlemen, for the somewhat informal manner in which we effected our introduction, but my colleague and I have a certain proposition which we'd like to put to you. I might almost call it a gilt-edged proposition, although paradoxically it does entail a measure of risk. However, when I quote the anticipated dividend, I'm sure that you will both agree with me that the...


[There is a noise at the open window]



Pendlebury:
Not another one, surely.



Henry Holland:
Tell him we're suited.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Stella:
We've become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change. Yes sir. How's that for a bit of homespun philosophy?



Jeff:
Readers Digest, April 1939.



Stella:
Well, I only quote from the best.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Col. DeRose:
We're chasing one man, Pancho Villa, over some of the wildest country on earth. You can quote me as saying that the Punitive Expedition U.S. Army has him completely surrounded... on one side.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Peter Stenning:
Hello, Pat.



Pat Holroyd:
Well.



Peter Stenning:
It's a bit better than Picture Post, isn't it?



Pat Holroyd:
Stenning, what the hell do you want?



Peter Stenning:
A quote on sun-spots.



Pat Holroyd:
Sun-spots?



Peter Stenning:
Look, just tell me that the static, the monsoon, the compass trouble, and the terrible shows we get on television are all caused by sun-spots, and that the sun-spots are caused by bigger bomb experiments, and I'll leave you in peace.



Pat Holroyd:
Well, there usually is a bit of extra sun-spot activity this time of year, old boy, but I don't think it has much to do with anything.



Peter Stenning:
But there could be some connection. Oh, come on, say "Yes," what harm could it do you?



Pat Holroyd:
Look, Stenning, it's nice to see you again, but I'm afraid I'm up to my neck, old boy.


[to his secretary]



Pat Holroyd:
All right, Miss Johnson, take this to the Typing Pool and have it mimeographed immediately.


[to Stenning]



Pat Holroyd:
I see you're still a bit of a liberty-taker...



Peter Stenning:
Well, give me something, Pat, I've got to get a story out of this!



Pat Holroyd:
Sorry, can't oblige, old boy.



Peter Stenning:
But why not? It's a perfectly routine, harmless, silly-season story.



Pat Holroyd:
Look, Peter! You've no right to be here...



Peter Stenning:
Well, it is, isn't it? Well, just tell me: yes or no?



Peter Stenning:
I don't have to tell you anything, Stenning. You aren't in a special position that entitles you to a first break on anything that comes into this office.



Peter Stenning:
You mean something *has* come in.


[Holroyd freezes, and is clearly relieved when the telecom buzzes him]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[in song]



Mrs. Paroo:
When a woman's got a husband, and you've got none, why should she take advice from you? Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare and all them other high-falutin' Greeks.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Faith Rosco:
The truth hurts, doesn't it? You want Sonny for the main course and Alcazar on the site.



Carly Corinthos:
I'm married to Sonny, Lorenzo means nothing to me.



Faith Rosco:
Well, isn't there something in the scripture about lusting in the heart being just as bas as doing the deed?



Carly Corinthos:
Don't quote the bible, Faith, you may burst into flames.



Faith Rosco:
You're the one that's on fire, buttercup. Lorenzo Alcazar is under your skin, and he knows it. He's not going anywhere, and you don't want him to. Oh, and remember - if I can see it, Sonny will, too.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Max Buda:
[they are playing cards, watched by a reporter] Not that one. *That* one!



Gloria Gritti:
How do you know what is in my hand?



Max Buda:
Because I know what is in your head.



Gloria Gritti:
So, I have nothing in my head.



Max Buda:
[to the reporter] Don't quote that.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Radio Announcer:
Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens due to the crisis that is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hook-up to keep you informed of all developments. At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages and cities, in rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern nor reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden general explosion of mass homicide. We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary-looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters. At this point, there's no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against. Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour. Police and sheriff's deputies and emergency ambulances are literally deluded with calls for help. The scene can be best described as mayhem. The mayors of Pittsburg, Philadelphia, and Miami, along with the governments of several eastern and midwestern states indicated that the National Guard may be mobilized at any moment, but that has not happened as yet. The main advice news reporters have been able to get from official sources is to tell private citizens to stay inside their homes behind locked doors. Do not venture outside for any reason until the nature of this crisis has been determined, and until we can advise what course of action to take. Keep listening to radio and TV for special instructions as this crisis develops further. Thousands of office and factory workers are being urged to stay at their places of employment, not to make any attempt to get to their homes. However, in spite of this urging and warning, streets and highways are packed with frantic people trying to reach their families or, apparently, to flee just anywhere. We repeat, the safest course of action at this time is simply to stay where you are. Ladies and gentlemen, we've just received word that the President has called a meeting of his Cabinet to deal with the sudden epidemic of murder that has seized the eastern third of this nation. The meeting is scheduled to convene within the hour. Members of the Presidential Cabinet will be joined by officials of the FBI and military advisors. White House spokesmen are saying there will be an official announcement immediately following that meeting. This is the latest dispatch just received in our news room. The latest word also - this is from nation press services in Washington, D.C. - tells us that the emergency Presidential conference which we just mentioned will include high-ranking scientists from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. So far, the best advice they are able to give the public is this quote from Chief T. K. Dunbar from Camden, North Carolina, who is quoted as saying, "Tell the people for God's sake to get off the streets! Tell them to go home and lock their windows and doors up tight! We don't know what kind of murder-happy characters we have here!" Chief Dunbar's words were worn out in grisly fashion just hours ago near the small, normally peaceful town of Willard, Pennsylvania, where the driver of a tanker truck was mobbed by a cluster of apparently would-be assassins oblivious to all concerns for their own safety and blindly intent on attacking the driver. The tanker trunk went out of control and plowed into the gas pumps at a well-known eatery and truck stop known as Beakman's. The truck and gas pumps caught on fire and exploded, apparently maiming and killing gas station and restaurant employees, together with a dozen or more patrons, motorists, and pedestrians. Several bodies were found mangled and mutilated. Many others appear to have been carried off by the attackers. Eyewitness accounts described the assassins as ordinary-looking people, misshapen monsters, people who look like they're in a trance, and creatures that look like people but behave like animals. Some tell of seeing victims that looked as if they had been torn apart. This whole ghastly story began developing two days ago, and from that point on, these terrible events kept on snowballing in a reign of terror that has not abated. Military personel and law enforcement agencies have been working hard in an attempt to gain some kind of control of this situation, but most of their efforts have been marginally futile up to this particular time.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[last lines]



Lurcio:
[to audience] I will quote from the last words of Cleopatra to Mark Antony: if you liked it, tell your friends. Saluté!


[gesticulates "up yours" with his fingers]



Lurcio:
Eh, what was that? Ah, go on now, off


[shot of the sky]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Benjamin Franklin:
Treason is a charge invented by winners as an excuse for hanging the losers.



John Adams:
[scoffs] I have more to do than stand here and listen to you quote yourself.



Dr. Benjamin Franklin:
Oh, that was a new one!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Computer:
Sorry to interrupt your recreation, fellows, but it is time for Sgt. Pinback to feed the alien.



Sgt. Pinback:
Awww, I don't wanna do that!



Computer:
May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback, it was your idea to bring the alien on board in the first place. . If I may quote you, you said the ship needed a mascot.



Sgt. Pinback:
[walking away in disgust] Awwwwww, I gotta do everything around here...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Steve Trevor:
My assignment is a logical military alternative and a patriotic necessity.



Diana Prince:
To quote Dr. Samuel Johnson: Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels.


[Etta gets a wide-eyed look of shock]



Steve Trevor:
Yeoman Prince!



Diana Prince:
[angrily] Yes sir!



Steve Trevor:
Dismissed!



Diana Prince:
Aye aye, sir!


[angrily leaves]



Steve Trevor:
Etta!


[Etta jumps and looks at Steve scared]



Steve Trevor:
This is confidential.



Etta Candy:
Oh, yes sir! Absolutely!


[Etta leaves the office desperately]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
V.I.N.CENT:
To quote Cicero: rashness is the characteristic of youth, prudence that of mellowed age, and discretion the better part of valor.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bill Ray:
You're having a good time, aren't you?



Norman:
Huh?



Bill Ray:
Chelsea told me all about how you like to have a good time messing with people's heads. She does too, sometimes. Me, sometimes I can get into it. Sometimes not. You know, it's not imperative that you and I become friends. I thought it would be nice. I'm sure you're a fascinating person, and I thought it would be fascinating to get to know you, but that's obviously not an easy task. So you just go ahead and be as... poopy, to quote Chelsea, as you want to be, and I'll be as nice and as civil as I can be. But I think there's one thing you should know while you're jerking me around and making me feel like an asshole. I know *precisely* what you're up to. And I'll take just so much of it. Now what is the bottom line on this illict sleeping together question?



Norman:
Very good. That was a good speech. Bottom line, huh? You're a bottom line man? All right, here's the bottom line... O-kay.



Bill Ray:
Huh?



Norman:
You seem like a nice man. A bit verbose, but nice...



Bill Ray:
Thank you.



Norman:
...and you're right about me. I am fascinating.



Bill Ray:
I'm sure you are.



Norman:
But let's get back to the sex thing... anything you want to know, just ask me. Go ahead.



Bill Ray:
No, no... I just, uh, wanted to clear that up. Chelsea and I *can* sleep together.



Norman:
Sure, please do.


[pauses, resumes reading]



Norman:
Just don't let Ethel catch you.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[last lines]



Max Headroom:
As, 'tis Max Headroom here, and I quote from the bard, Shakespeare, a writer: "The quality of TV is not strained, it dropeth as the gentle ratings dropeth to a very tiny percentage share and, lo, 'tis gone." Of course, Shakespeare would have loved your rating system. Twelfth Night would have been lucky to have lasted *one*!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Knox:
You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say...



Eckhardt:
I say... you're full of shit, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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