bitch

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bitch

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
These people abstain, it is true: but the bitch Sensuality glares enviously out of all they do.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
Jules: It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent: Given a lot of 'em?
Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.
Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You give them a lot?
Jules: Fuck you.
Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.
Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed. More [07/14/2005 12:07:00]
Lance: Look, you brought her here, and that means that you're giving her the shot. The day that I bring an OD-ing bitch over to your house, then I'll give her the shot. Give her the shot.More [07/14/2005 12:07:00]
Lance: You are NOT bringing this fucked-up bitch into my house.
Vincent: This fucked-up bitch is Marsellus Wallace's wife. Do you know who Marsellus Wallace is? Do you? If she croaks on me, I'm a fuckin' greasespot.More [07/14/2005 12:07:00]
Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He?s got a lot of money!
Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if you weren't.
Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.
Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie: So what?
Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I though that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie: What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah: Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie: It's not that simple.
Young Noah: What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
Young Allie: I have to go now.More [07/13/2005 12:07:00]
Ava Gardner: Get that crazy bitch away from me!More [08/04/2005 12:08:00]
Boss Hogg: I have $100 for whoever knocks that loudmouth son of a bitch out.More [08/11/2005 12:08:00]
Narrator: Bob had bitch tits.More [09/07/2005 12:09:00]
Narrator: This is Bob. Bob has bitch tits.More [09/07/2005 12:09:00]
Narrator: [V.O] Bob. Bob had bitch tits.
[Camera pans to a REMAINING MEN TOGETHER sign]
Narrator: [V.O] This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me... that was Bob.
Robert 'Bob' Paulson: We're still men.
Narrator: [slightly muffled due to Bob's enormous breasts] Yes, we're men. Men is what we are.
Narrator: [V.O] Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit...
Robert 'Bob' Paulson: They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.
Narrator: [V.O] Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.More [09/07/2005 12:09:00]
Martin: [calling his friend to come get him after his girlfriend broke up with him] Yo, yo man, what up! Yeah, just got into this little thing with her, right? Yeah, we broke up... come get a nigga! Get me up out! Yeah, bitch went crazy, I'm sayin' trippin' like a muthafucka but I'm cool... you know. So, yeah, cool... Okay, bring the truck cuz I got a lotta shit... cool!More [10/15/2005 12:10:00]
Lisa: I can be a real serious bitch if I don't get what I want.More [12/21/2005 12:12:00]
Dr. Leo Marvin: Son of a bitch and BOB!More [12/31/2005 12:12:00]
Darcy McGuire: I'm the man-eating bitch Darth Vader of the ad world.More [01/04/2006 12:01:00]
Stephen: Life's a stage.
Katie: Life's a bitch.
Stephen: Life's a bitch on the stage.More [01/09/2006 12:01:00]
John Wilson: I would like to tell you a little story.
Mrs. MacGregor: Oh, I love stories.
John Wilson: Well, you mustn't interrupt now, because you're way too beautiful to interrupt people. When I was in London in the early 40's, I was dining one evening at the Savoy with a rather select group of people, and sitting next to me was a very beautiful lady, much like yourself.
Mrs. MacGregor: Now you're pulling my leg.
John Wilson: Now, just listen, dear. Well, we were dining and the bombs were falling, and we were all talking about Hitler and comparing him with Napoleon, and we were all being really brilliant. And then, suddenly, this beautiful lady, she spoke up and said that was the thing she didn't mind about Hitler, was the way he was treating the Jews. Well, we all started arguing with her, of course. Though, mind you, no one at the table was Jewish. But she persisted. Are you listening, honey?
Mrs. MacGregor: Mustn't interrupt Daddy.
John Wilson: That's right. You're way too beautiful for that. Anyway, she went on to say that that's how she felt about it, that if she had her way, she would kill them all, burn them in ovens, like Hitler. Well, we all sat there in silence. Then finally, I leaned over to her and I said, "Madam, I have dined with some of the ugliest goddamn bitches in my time. And I have dined with some of the goddamndest ugly bitches in this world. But you, my dear, are the ugliest bitch of them all." Well, anyway, she got up to leave and she tripped over a chair and fell on the floor. And we all just sat there. No one raised a hand to help her. And finally when she picked herself up I said to her one more time: "You, my dear, are the ugliest goddamn bitch I have ever dined with." Well, you know what happened? The very next day, she reported me to the American Embassy. And they brought me in for reprimand. And then when they investigated it, they found out she was a German agent. And they locked her up.
[smiles]
John Wilson: Isn't that amazing?
Mrs. MacGregor: Why did you tell me that story?
John Wilson: Oh, I don't know. It wasn't because I thought you were a German agent, honey. But I was tempted tonight to say the very same thing to you. I didn't want you to think I had never said it before. You, madam, are the - Well, you know the rest.More [01/29/2006 12:01:00]
Suzie: No little bitch could ever make me cum.More [02/17/2006 12:02:00]
Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done.More [03/21/2006 12:03:00]
To be a bitch or not to be a bitch, that is the question.More [03/22/2006 12:03:00]
People bitch about losing their anonymity and then get insulted when someone doesn't recognize them from whatever success they've had.More [04/17/2006 12:04:00]
William Parrish: Who is you? Did you tell her who you are?
Joe Black: No.
William Parrish: Does she know here she's going? Huh? You see, Susan went for that poor son of a bitch who's body you took. And everything else since has been aftermath. You say you love her but you don't know what love is. She loves you, she doesn't know who you are. You make a deal you're breaking it. Bottom line is, Joe, you're swindling her soul, and you're doing it with your eyes wide open.
Joe Black: I don't like what you're saying.
William Parrish: I'm past caring what you like and what you don't like. You're stealing my daughter and I'm not gonna let you.More [02/20/2007 12:02:00]
[while exorcising Megan]
Father Harris: Holy lord, almighty father, everlasting god and father of our lord Jesus Christ, and the virgin Mary's baby daddy, holy lord, almighty father, everlasting god, who once concerned that fallen tyrant to the flames of hell, who sent your only son in the world to crush that roaring tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of survivor!More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
George: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
[puts hand up in the air]
George: and start livin' down here?
[puts hand down low]
Mahalik: Or what if we stop livin' over here
[puts his hand out to the side]
Mahalik: and start livin' over there?
[puts his hand to the other side]
CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
Mahalik: For what?
CJ: Mice.
Mahalik: I thought she had rats?
CJ: No, rate are out side, mice are inside.
Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool!
CJ: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
George: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
[Tabitha crawls out of the TV, stands up, and empties a whole bunch of water out of her ear]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this bitch is messing up my floor!
[Tabitha walks to Brenda]
Brenda Meeks: Cindy, help me!
Cindy: I'm not listening.
[Brenda punches Tabitha]
Brenda Meeks: Get up, you little ugly bitch. Come on! Let me see what you got!
[Tabitha tries to punch her, but Brenda holds her back]
Brenda Meeks: What you gonna do? That's all?
[punches her again]
Brenda Meeks: Ooh! I'm kicking her ass, Cindy! Yeah! What's up?
[proceeds to kick and head butt Tabitha]More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
U-God: You stepped on my shoe, bitch!
Redman: Man, call me a bitch again and I'll park your truck - dead in yo ass.
Macy Gray: DAMN, HOMEY!
CJ: Hey yo, they comin! Over here!
RZA: If I was you, son, I'd bust this shit right now.
Method Man: Ya Momma!
U-God: I got your number, too, homey.
Master P: He ain't gonna bust nuthin. I got nuts bigger than him.
RZA: Oh, yeah, I'll roll up on you too - country ass maple syrup eatin' nigga.
Master P: Ya'll want some biscuits? You want some biscuits?
[Macy Gray kills everybody, including herself, with a bazooka]
President Harris: These men died for their country. Send flowers to their bitches and hos.More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
Oliver: The next morning she turned up missing
Zoltar: err
Mr. Koji: What ok back up how the hell do you turn up missing
Oliver: Because no one knows where you are when they realize you aint there
Zoltar: Guys I'm trying to ask for your
[C.J interrupts]
Mr. Koji: whoa whoa whoa so your telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time
Oliver: No man you can't appear and disappear at the same time the bitch aint David Copperfield
Zoltar: err guys
Mr. Koji: no no you cant be gone from one place and show up somewhere else at a time So when you turn up your never missing and when your missing you never turn up
Oliver: unless you'll a zombie
Mr. Koji: Damn that's some possible shit right there
Oliver: I'm gonna put that on MySpace
Mr. Koji: You do thatMore [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
Brenda: Hey, Cindy! Look, I'm on TV, y'all! Check it out! I'm gonna give a shout out to all my peeps!
[Jigsaw turns round and slaps Brenda in the face]
Brenda: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
[bashing Jigsaw's face into the camara]
Brenda: NO ONE... BITCH SLAPS... BRENDA!
Saw Villain: Zoltar, help!
[Zoltar comes in and hits Brenda over the head with a metal pipe]
Saw Villain: Oh, oh! This is some bullshit!
[Brenda grabs the pipe and wacks Jigsaw with it before pushing Zoltar out of view]More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
James Bond: The job's done and the bitch is dead.More [02/23/2007 12:02:00]
Marty McFly: [nervously picks up a newspaper on a porch] 1985... it can't be...
[shotgun is cocked behind his head]
S. S. Strickland: Drop it!
[Marty quickly throws the newspaper to the ground and looks up]
S. S. Strickland: So you're the son of a bitch who's been stealing my newspapers.
Marty McFly: [holds hands up nervously] Mr. Strickland! It- it- it's me, sir. Marty McFly!
S. S. Strickland: Who?
[jabs Marty in the chest with shotgun threateningly]
Marty McFly: [voice becomes very high] Marty McFly! Marty McFly! Don't you know, Mr.- From school, sir!
S. S. Strickland: I've never seen you before, but you look to me like a slacker!
[waves shotgun threateningly at Marty's face]
Marty McFly: Yeah! That's right! That's right, I am a slacker! Don't you remember, you gave me detention last week!
S. S. Strickland: Last week? The school burnt down six years ago! Now you got exactly three seconds to get off my porch with your nuts intact!
[points shotgun at Marty's groin]
S. S. Strickland: One!
Marty McFly: [screams] Oh, please! Mr. Strickland! I just want to know what the hell is going on!
S. S. Strickland: Two!
Marty McFly: [yells and covers groin] Ahhhhh!
[gang members suddenly round the corner, yell, "Mr. Strickland!" and do drive-by. Marty ducks behind the porch and Mr. Strickland dives inside his house]
Marty McFly: [Marty stands with hands covering his ears and screaming] Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh!
[jumps over porch, then promptly ducks as Mr. Strickland aims his gun at the gang members]
S. S. Strickland: [fires two rounds] Eat lead, slackers!More [02/26/2007 12:02:00]
Marty McFly: The 'Sports Almanac'. Son of a bitch stole my idea! He must have been listening when I... It's my fault! The whole thing's my fault. If I hadn't have boughten that damn book, then none of this would have ever happened.
Doc: Well, forget it Marty. That's all in the past.
Marty McFly: You mean the future.
Doc: Whatever! It demonstrates precisely how time travel can be mis-used, and why the time machine must be destroyed, after we straighten all of this out.More [02/26/2007 12:02:00]
Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker.
Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.More [03/01/2007 12:03:00]
Glen: She's going to get everything. That's the way these old guys are. Tough as nails, biggest son of a bitch in the world, she touches his shriveled-up little noodle, and his brains turn to frozen yogurt. She'll marry him, screw him six feet into the ground and then get everything!More [03/05/2007 12:03:00]
Liz: Wow, there's the cynical bitch we know and love.More [03/15/2007 12:03:00]
Michael Newman: It took that son of a bitch a whole year to promote me?More [03/21/2007 12:03:00]
Philip: Shut your foul mouth, you ten-titted bitch from Hades!More [03/23/2007 12:03:00]
Caretaker: Yo man, that's my flyer, man. I worked hard on that. You see he ran like a little bitch right? You saw that right.
[Cheeseburger Eddy gets in his face]
Caretaker: Yo, the team needs you. Team needs you. You should come to the tree-outs.More [04/04/2007 12:04:00]
Harry Terwilliger: Can you believe this? The son of a bitch pissed on me!
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: Y'all like that? I'm currently cooking up some turds, to go with it. Nice soft 'uns. Uhhh! Have'em out to y'all tomorrow.More [04/07/2007 12:04:00]
Fouchet: I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?
Casper: Yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself slide.More [04/09/2007 12:04:00]
Mike Lowery: Ok look, we're a partnership, but we're a partnership with boundaries. We got a new rule. From now on you can't say the word flaccid to me. This is our little ?boundary box?. We're gonna take the word flaccid and put it in there with my mom's titties and your erection problem and we gonna close this box and we gonna throw this bitch in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you gotta be motherfuckin' Jacques Cousteau.More [04/09/2007 12:04:00]
Melanie Carmichael: Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce.More [04/20/2007 12:04:00]
Patrick Bateman: [after being kicked in the face by Christie the call girl] Not the face! You bitch! Not the fucking face, you piece of bitch trash!More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
Lashandra Davis: Why would you use Jerry Springer as a platform for some kind of progressive race modification proposal?
Lateesha Rodriguez: Well, I don't think Ted Koppel would blook Lateesha Rodriguez!
Lashandra Davis: Not a chance.
Lashindra Davis: Not a chance in hell. Hmm!
Lateesha Rodriguez: OK, Jerry is one of the only forums our people have, baby. I thought having time on Springer would give me a chance of gettin' a blook deal or a correspondence gig on BET.
Lashindra Davis: Jenny Jones bitch got cancelled.
Lashandra Davis: Yeah, Montel would've been better.More [04/24/2007 12:04:00]
Kanye West Look-Alike: [while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus] The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
Peter: We have something the White Bitch doesn't.
Lucy: Perky breasts?More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
Eric Cartman: I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried anything, I'd be like, EH. You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie. Eh, woman, you shut your mouth, and make babies.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Eric Cartman: Come on Kyle. Just because your mom is a bitch doesn't mean that we all have to suffer.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Eric Cartman: I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet you skinny bitch.
Mr. Garrison: Eric. If you call Wendy a bitch one more time I'm sending you to the principal's office.
[beat]
Eric Cartman: Bitch.
Mr. Garrison: That's it Eric, you...
Eric Cartman: I'm going.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Fat Abbott: Hey, hey, what's shakin' Rudy?
Rudy: Man, Fat Abbott. You need to lose weight.
Fat Abbott: I lose weight when I feel like it bitch. Shut your bitch ass mouth, ho.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Fat Abbot: Hey, hey, hey, what's goin' down, y'all?
Rudy: Man, Fat Abbot, what you doin' on this side of the hood?
Fat Abbot: You know something, Rudy, you're like school in summer time.
Rudy: School in summertime?
Fat Abbot: Yeah, bitch, school in summertime. Open up your fucking ears, you fucking ho or I'll pop your bitch ass.
Mushmouth: I'm-a pop-a you-a bitch-a ass-a too-ba, Bitch-a.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Announcer: And now, back to "It's A Wonderful Life".
George Bailey: You can't just buy people, Mr. Potter. You know what you are? You're a little bitch. That's right, you're a bitch and I'll bet you'd like to suck it, wouldn't you?More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Cartman: [singing] Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wedensday and Saturday she's a bitch. Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super king kamehameha bee-utch. / Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big big big big big bitch. / Bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a stupid bitch./Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this!
[sings in mock foreign languages]More [05/03/2007 12:05:00]
[Kevin and Finch are looking for Jim's grandmother]
Kevin Myers: Guys, what are you doing here?
John: The old bitch sucked, so we ditched her.More [05/04/2007 12:05:00]
Naomi: Like that bitch needs to be eating dessert anyway.
Bishop: Naomi... You know, if you ever want counseling in anger management or... alcoholism, I'd be more than glad to do it for you.
Naomi: You'd do that for me? Thank you, I appreciate that. But I think I'd rather you just wash the fucking dishes and and shut the fuck up! Fucking psychobabble-bullshit asshole!More [05/10/2007 12:05:00]
Monty: Women troubles Amy?
Amy: I just don't understand what would compel a person to be such a bitch to a total stranger!
Monty: Maybe she was abused when she was a child.
Amy: Oh God, I fucking hope so.More [05/10/2007 12:05:00]
Fielding Pierce: Uh, I'm sorry, but do you believe that I'm going into politics so I can become a corrupt son of a bitch who sells electrodes to the Chilean secret police?More [05/14/2007 12:05:00]
Gordon Gekko: When I get a hold of the son of a bitch who leaked this, I'm gonna tear his eyeballs out and I'm gonna suck his fucking skull.More [05/16/2007 12:05:00]
[Ms. Haver takes a long swig on some liquor]
Ms. Doris Haver: Oh yeah... that's the shit!
Van Wilder: You know... I think I'm getting a little coldsore come on... so maybe we shouldn't do this for 3 to 6 weeks?
Ms. Doris Haver: Shut up, bitch and give me some sugar!More [05/24/2007 12:05:00]
Coach Norton: By the way, did you boys take care of that bitch that was gonna marry Silverman?
Wayne: Uhh yeah, yeah we snuffed that broad just like ya said
Coach Norton: Good, how'd ya do it?
Wayne: We um...
J.D.: Ate her...
Coach Norton: You ate her?
Wayne: Yea, we ate her
J.D.: Alive
Coach Norton: My hat goes off to you, you boys are smart, that's the perfect crime.More [06/10/2007 12:06:00]
Wayne: Admit it! I'm the assertive man you need, and you're the hardcore bitch I've always dreamed of!More [06/10/2007 12:06:00]

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Quotes of the month

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Evgenijj Tarasov Quoting is easy, it is difficult to quote. [11/27/2020 01:11:40] More


Eugene Ryabyi Sex, like a drug, euphoria is followed by a new desire, and a week later, the unbearable withdrawal begins. [11/14/2020 04:11:33] More


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