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Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites; in proportion as their love to justice is above their rapacity; in proportion as their soundness and sobriety of understanding is above their vanity and presumption; in proportion as they are more disposed to listen to the counsels of the wise and good, in preference to the flattery of knaves.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
[announcing over PA system] Tonight's lecture: "What's wrong with celebrating sobriety by getting drunk?"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tonight's lecture: "What's wrong with celebrating sobriety by getting drunk?"

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ron White:
I got thrown out of a bar in New York City. Now, when I say I got thrown out of a bar, I don't mean someone asked me to leave, and we walked to the door together, and I said, "Bye everyone, I gotta go!" Six bouncers picked me up and hurled me out of that bar like I was a Frisbee. Those big old New York bouncers that think that bouncing is cool. They hang out with other bouncers, talking about bouncing. They go home at night and watch 'Road House' and fondle themselves. For wearing a hat. I walk into a bar and the bouncer comes over to me, real pissy, and goes, "Take off the hat!" I'm like, "What's the deal?" He goes, "I'll tell you what the deal is. Gay people in this area wear hats; we're tryin' to keep them out of our club!" Oh really? The only way we can tell down in Texas is if they have their hair cut like, yours. And he got all pissed. Anyway, I took off the hat, and he walked away. About an hour later, I was drinking and I forgot. Ever forget? It happened to me. I put the hat on, and he comes back over. Now, I'm between six-one and six-six depending on which convenience store I'm leaving. I weigh two hundred and thirty pounds, and this guy comes over, poking me in the shoulder. He says, "You're outta here!" and I said, "I don't think so, Scooter!" And I was wrong. They hurled me out of that bar. And then they squared off with me in the parking lot, and I backed down from the fight, cause I don't know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass, but I knew how many they were going to use. That's a handy little piece of information, right there. The police got called because we broke a chair on the way out, and I refused to pay for it. I refused to pay for it cause *we* broke it over *my* thigh. And at that point, I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. The cop was like, "Mr. White, you are being charged with drunk in public-KA!" I was like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I was drunk in a bar! They, threw me into public-KA! I don't want to be drunk in public-KA! I wanna be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal! Arrest them!" He didn't arrest them, instead he had me do a field sobriety check, where you stand on one foot, raise the other foot six inches off the ground, and count to thirty. I made it to "woo!" Is that going to be close enough? It wasn't, so they called in for my arrest record. There's some good news! Satellites are linking up in outer space. Computer banks at NASA are kicking on. There's a telegraph in Fritch, Texas, going: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

[Takes breath]

Ron White:
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. This part takes a while. Brrrrinnnng! Shorthand.


Ron White:
Beep. Now, I told you that story, to tell you this story. When I was seventeen, I was arrested for being drunk in... public-KA.

Kinda seems to be a pattern there, Ron.

Ron White:
If you knew Morse code, you'd know that already. And one DWI, which was a bogus charge, cause it turns out they were stopping every driver, traveling down that particular sidewalk. And that's profiling. And profiling is wrong! The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street me, in a town of less than four hundred people. *We've met.* Now, he takes me to jail, and he asks me if I have any aliases.

[Confused, stupid look]

Ron White:
And I was just being a smartass, and I said, "Yeah. They call me, "Tater Salad!" " Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed on a bench in New York with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, "Are you Ron 'Tater Salad' White?" Ya caught me! Ya caught the tater!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
I have other obligations now - the show, my family, my life... though I know that without my sobriety I wouldn't have any of those things.More [08/03/2011 05:08:42]
India is known for its sobriety and wisdom, balanced and sensible thinking. We need strong institutions and we need good governance in the country.More [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
Can anyone picture God telling, taking, or enjoying a good joke? The idea is laughable. The Devil, on the other hand, laughs with demonic mirth, is possessed of a sardonic wit, and his eyes hold a glint of wicked bemusement. The farthest God, in his popular image, ever strays from sobriety is a beneficent smile. Satan sniggers with fiendish scorn at God, who sits in his ivory tower emitting nary a chuckle.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Beware the deadly fumes of that insane elation
Which rises from the cup of mad impiety,
And go, get drunk with that divine intoxication
Which is more sober far than all sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Alcohol was involved, of course, and this is the sort of idea you generally expect will fade as sobriety returns, but the next day we both still loved the idea, ... We knew how much work it would be, but the more we thought about it, the more irresistible it seemed.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The claim that Religious believers have a happier outlook on life than Religious skeptics is like saying a drunken man is happier than a sober man. We should all value intellectual sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I think that he has focused on regaining his sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There are women succeeding beyond their wildest dreams because of their sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
People still question my sobriety, my commitment to the program, and that hurts. I take things day by day, and sometimes I take them minute by minute, but I honor my commitment to stay sober.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I think it's important for me to show the world that sobriety hasn't made me soft. I'm on a mission to prove I'm still a nutcase.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
My main focus in sobriety has been to replace fear with faith or love.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You can't legislate sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'm pretty confident about my sobriety, but I don't want to get too confident because that's when I'll crash.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I've been sober now for a couple of years and I'm taking my sobriety very seriously - one day at a time and I am moving forward in my career.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Laughter is day, and sobriety is night; a smile is the twilight that hovers gently between both, more bewitching than either.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
First, Resolve upon, and daily endeavour to practise, a life of seriousness and strict sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'm making plans to go away for a month to focus on my sobriety and to continue my life in recovery. Please enjoy making fun of me on the world wide web.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sobriety and health is the greatest thing.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
All places where women are excluded tend downward to barbarism; but the moment she is introduced, there come in with her courtesy, cleanliness, sobriety, and order.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself. I don't put it on a platform. I don't campaign about it. It's just something that works for me. It enabled me to really connect with another human being - my wife, Sheryl - which I was never able to do before.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The best taxes are such as are levied upon consumptions, especially those of luxury; because such taxes are least felt by the people. They seem, in some measure, voluntary; since a man may choose how far he will use the commodity: They naturally produce sobriety and frugality, if judiciously imposed: And being confounded with the natural price of the commodity, they are scarcely perceived by the consumers. Their only disadvantage is that they are expensive in the levying.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
In Britain, journalists often view comparisons with our society going back two, three, or seven centuries as more relevant than comparisons going back two, three, or seven decades. Drunkenness centuries ago is more illuminating than comparative sobriety 30 years ago. The distant past, selectively mined for evidence that justifies our current conduct, becomes more important than living memory.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Relationship. R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P means this: Really exciting love affair turns into overwhelming nightmare. Sobriety hangs in peril.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'd rather that England should be free than that England should be compulsorily sober. With freedom we might in the end attain sobriety, but in the other alternative we should eventually lose both freedom and sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
And let no one suppose that I claim that just living can be taught for, in a word, I hold that there does not exist an art of the kind which can implant sobriety and justice into depraved natures. Nevertheless, I do think that the study of political discourse can help more than any other thing to stimulate and form such qualities of characterMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Getting sober was one of the three pivotal events in my life, along with becoming an actor and having a child. Of the three, finding my sobriety was the hardest thing.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sobriety, severity, and self-respect are the foundations of all true sociality.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
India is known for its sobriety and wisdom, balanced and sensible thinking. We need strong institutions and we need good governance in the country.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The thing is, if I don't have sobriety, I don't have anything.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Strength of mind rests in sobriety; for this keeps your reason unclouded by passion.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
It took a great deal of acceptance to come to terms with being an alcoholic but acceptance was the key to my sobriety... If I didn't have acceptance at that time in my life I would not be standing here today.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Only someone as puffed up and demented as John Maynard Keynes, every left wing fascist's sainted mentor in this connection, could manage to convince himself that taxing America's Productive Class can restore it to prosperity. In point of fact, it's like screwing for chastity, guzzling alcohol for sobriety, or gorging to fight gluttony. It's like killing indiscriminately for peace oops, Democrats, Republicans and their moral and spiritual ilk have devoutly believed that particular bit of perverse nonsense since at leastMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The image the Republicans have of themselves needs the image they have of the Democrats to bring it into sharp focus. The Democrats are plainly a disreputable crowd; the Republicans, by contrast, are men of standing and sobriety. Many a middle-class American in many a small town has had to explain painfully why he chose to be a Democrat. No middle-class American need feel uneasy as a Republican. Even when he is a minority--for example, among the heathen on a college campus--he can, like any white, Anglo-Saxon ProtestanMore [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
In Kafka we have the modern mind, seemingly self-sufficient, intelligent, skeptical, ironical, splendidly trained for the great game of pretending that the world it comprehends in sterilized sobriety is the only and ultimate real one – yet a mind living in sin with the soul of Abraham. Thus he knows Two things at once, and both with equal assurance: that there is no God, and that there must be God.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I don’t mean to make a big deal out of sobriety, by the way. Of all the modes of human consciousness available to the modern consumer I consider it to be the most overrated.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Let us again clothe ourselves with these proved and sterling virtues - honesty, truthfulness, chastity, sobriety, temperance, industry, and thrift; let us discard all covetousness and greed.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Every old man complains of the growing depravity of the world, of the petulance and insolence of the rising generation. He recounts the decency and regularity of former times, and celebrates the discipline and sobriety of the age in which his youth was passed; a happy age which is now no more to be expected, since confusion has broken in upon the world, and thrown down all the boundaries of civility and reverence.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
In her memoir, Anne Robinson recounts the wake-up call which motivated her to stop drinking. Leaving her eight-year-old daughter alone in their car while she went to buy liquor, she returned to find her daughter with tears running down her cheeks. The guilt and horror Ms. Robinson felt at this sight jolted her into sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I hate feelings. Why does sobriety have to come with feelings?More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sobriety is okay enough," Denny says, "but someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff. You know?More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
To conclude, therefore, let no man upon a weak conceit of sobriety or an ill-applied moderation think or maintain that a man can search too far, or be too well studied in the book of God's word, or the book of God's works, divinity or philosophy; but rather let men endeavor an endless progress or proficience in both; only let men beware that they apply both to charity, and not to swelling; to use, and not to ostentation; and again, that they do not unwisely mingle or confound these learnings together.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A failure remains a failure only if we refuse to learn from it. Any situation that teaches us greater humility, sobriety, wisdom about self and others, responsibility, forgiveness, depth of reflection, and better decision making --teaching us what's truly important--is not an ultimate failure. Sometimes what we deem a failure at the time it happens actually serves to foster a change within us that creates an even greater success down the road.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The Elders would go forth, and each must stand for go in all meekness, in sobriety, and preach Jesus Christ and Him crucified; not to contend with others on account of their faith, or systems of religion, but pursue a steady course. This I delivered by way of commandment; and all who observe it not, will pull down persecution upon their heads, while those who do, shall always be filled with the Holy Ghost; this I pronounced as a prophecy, and sealed with hosanna and amen.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sobriety was the greatest gift I ever gave myself.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We're all looking at the people around us, the people who have gone before us who have succeeded in recovery and have long-term sobriety and they are an illustration for us of how good it can be.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I have other obligations now - the show, my family, my life... though I know that without my sobriety I wouldn't have any of those things.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
All the sobriety which' religion needs or requires is that which real earnestness produces.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I personally believe this: We have only today; yesterday's gone and tomorrow is uncertain. That's why they call it the present. And sobriety really is a gift... for those who are willing to receive it.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Perfect good sense shuns all extremity, content to couple wisdom with sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I desire to see the time when education, and by its means, morality, sobriety, enterprise and industry shall become much more general than at present.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Above all things endeavor to breed them up the love of virtue, and that holy plain way of it which we have lived in, that the world in no part of it get into my family. I had rather they we're homely than finely bred as to outward behavior; yet I love sweetness mixed with gravity, and cheerfulness tempered with sobriety.More [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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Quotes of the month

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