coffee

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coffee

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
There has come into existence, chiefly in America, a breed of men who claim to be feminists. They imagine that they have understood what women want and that they are capable of giving it to them. They help with the dishes at home and make their own coffee in the office, basking the while in the refulgent consciousness of virtue. Such men are apt to think of the true male feminists as utterly chauvinistic.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Shrek: Hi. I'm here to see...
Receptionist: The Fairy Godmother? I'm sorry, she's not here right now.
Fairy Godmother: [on intercom] Jerome! Coffee and a Monte Cristo! Now! More [07/20/2005 12:07:00]
[Jules, Vincent and Jimmie are drinking coffee in Jimmie's kitchen]
Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Jules.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. Me, I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I wanjt to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage.
Jules: Oh, Jimmie, don't even worry about that...
Jimmie: No, let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: Jimmie, you know I ain't seen no...
Jimmie: Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?
Jules: [pause] No. I didn't.
Jimmie: You know WHY you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause it ain't there, 'cause storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business, that's why!More [07/14/2005 12:07:00]
Yolanda: This place? A coffee shop?
Pumpkin: Why not? Nobody ever robs restaurants. Bars, liquor stores, gas stations... you get your head blown off sticking up one of them. Restaurants on the other hand, you catch with their pants down. They're not expecting to get robbed. Not as expectant anyway.
Yolanda: I bet you could cut down on the hero factor in a place like this.
Pumpkin: Right, just like banks, these places are insured. Manager? He don't give a fuck. He just wants to get you out the door before you start plugging the diners. Waitresses? Fucking forget it! No way they're taking a bullet for the register. Busboys? Some wetback getting paid a dollar-fifty an hour, really give a fuck you're stealing from the owner? See, I got the idea, last liquor store we held up, all the customers kept coming in?
Yolanda: Yeah.
Pumpkin: And you got the idea of taking their wallets. Now that was a good idea.
Yolanda: Thank you.
Pumpkin: Made more from the wallets than we did from the register.
Yolanda: Yes, we did.
Pumpkin: A lot of customers come into a restaurant.
Yolanda: A lot of wallets.
Pumpkin: Pretty smart, eh?
Yolanda: Pretty smart.More [07/14/2005 12:07:00]
Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn't sleep.
Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you're not allowed. It's against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I'm going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and wont be back for a while. Stay out of trouble.More [07/13/2005 12:07:00]
Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.More [07/27/2005 12:07:00]
Austin: Basil, this coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It *is* shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, well, it's not just me then.
[Drinks]
Austin: [Smacks lips] It's a bit nutty.More [08/07/2005 12:08:00]
Harry Burns: Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.
Marie: Harry.
Harry Burns: Please, Jess, Marie. Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE.
Jess: I thought you liked it?
Harry Burns: I was being nice.More [01/08/2006 12:01:00]
Alex: You want a cup of coffee?
Matthew: Yeah, sure. Thanks.
Alex: [rummages around in the kitchen] No. No. No. No.
Alex: [comes back with coffee in two flutes of champagne glasses] He broke all my cups.
Matthew: That's original.More [02/23/2006 12:02:00]
I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge.More [03/17/2006 12:03:00]
[The album was recorded in Price's London flat.] I'd come by in the morning and Stuart would answer the door in his stocking feet -- as he'd been up all night, ... I'd bring him a cup of coffee and say, 'Stuart, your house is a mess, there's no food in the cupboard.' Then I'd call someone from my house to bring food over for him. And then we'd work all day.More [03/21/2006 12:03:00]
Sartre smoked. Colette, George Sand, Marguerite Duras, [André] Gide -- they all smoked, ... We have a long history of great thinking here, [with] coffee and cigarettes.More [05/18/2006 12:05:00]
I love coffee. I have a wonderful big coffee machine. It's a full-on industrial model. I have a cappuccino in the morning and a little espresso in the afternoon.More [05/23/2006 12:05:00]
The Monmouth Coffee Shop is the best place in London.More [05/23/2006 12:05:00]
“I can't sit around having coffee. I have all these appointments, and a lot of my friends sit around having coffee talking about the jobs they didn't get.”More [06/02/2006 12:06:00]
When I am working it is up early and coffee and 15 hours of being on the set. When I am not working, it is up late and coffee, golf or softball and hopefully a ball game on the television.More [11/25/2006 12:11:00]
“When I was 6 years old, I was in a rock band that was horrible called "Dead End." The name kind of described us. People liked us; we would go and perform at coffee houses and stuff.”More [02/14/2007 12:02:00]
Cindy's Dad: Oh you are my little girl, I love you so much that I left you a little something in the coffee can. But you have to remember to step on it before you sell it. Now, what are you going to cut it with?
Cindy Campbell: Um... baking...
Cindy's Dad: Baking soda. Not baking powder. Because baking powder guys will have muffins growing out of their noses.
Cindy's Dad: You love that joke, honey. You've loved it since you were two years old.More [02/22/2007 12:02:00]
[hit boss on head with coffee canister]
Edward Nygma: Caffeine will KILL YA!More [03/19/2007 12:03:00]
Splinter: For 15 years now, we have lived here. Before that time, I was a pet of my master Yoshi. When we were forced to come to New York, I found myself for the first time without a home, wandering thew sewers, scavaging for whatever I could find. And then, one day, I came upon a shattered glass jar and four baby turtles.
Michaelangelo: That was us. Hee hee.
Donatello: Shut up. Oh, no.
Splinter: The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze from a broken canister nearby. I gathered them up in an old coffee can and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock. For they had doubled in size. I, too, was growing. Particularly in intellect. I was amazed by how intelligent they seemed, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next: one of them spoke.
Young Michaelangelo: [in flashback] Pizza. Pizza.
Splinter: More words followed, and I began their training. Teaching them all that I had learned from my master. And soon, I gave them all names: Leonardo, Michaelangelo
Michaelangelo: That's me.
Splinter: Donatello
[he makes a heroic-sounding hum]
Splinter: and Raphael.
April: I'm not dreaming, am I?
Splinter: No. I'm afraid not.More [03/20/2007 12:03:00]
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Newman, what are you doing?
Newman: I'm thinking.
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, just as long as you're thinking.More [04/06/2007 12:04:00]
Joe Fox: I like Patricia. I *love* Patricia. Patricia makes COFFEE nervous.More [04/08/2007 12:04:00]
Joe Fox: The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.
Kathleen Kelly: [exits]
Next customer in line: Tall decaf cappucino.More [04/08/2007 12:04:00]
Technician: How much power have we got to work with?
John Aaron, EECOM Arthur: Barely enough to run this coffee pot for nine hours.More [04/08/2007 12:04:00]
Arthur: George has had his revenge on Mr. Denton- hot coffee in the lap.More [04/22/2007 12:04:00]
Constable Dexter: Inspector, there's a broken coffee cup down here.
Inspector Thompson: Dexter, they have people to clear these things up. You get on with your own job.More [04/22/2007 12:04:00]
Granny: Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
Red: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G. Or are you the Bandit?
Det. Bill Stork: Aw-Kward!
[awkwardly side slips out of the room]
Granny: You're being ridiculous Red.
Red: I'm being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills, and I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?
Tommy: I have a...
Nicky Flippers: Coffee break, anyone?
Chief Grizzly: Uh, yeah
Det. Bill Stork: Whose got my keys?
Raccoon Jerry: You think granny would mind if i went through her garbage?
Chief Grizzly: Excuse us.
Granny: I thought you were happy.
Red: Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?
Granny: Of course you do. You're a Puckett.
Red: [sighs] I don't know what that means anymoreMore [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
[after having his first taste of coffee and the caffeine obviously getting to him]
Twitchy: Caffeine! Yeah baby!More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
The Wolf: I can't believe I'm saying this but... drink up
[gives twitchy the coffee]
The Wolf: We may want to stand back.
Twitchy: [Sips coffee and his eyes buldge and he starts shaking] Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wahooo! Caffeine! Yeah baby! Whoa!
The Wolf: Go get 'em boy.
[Twitchy takes off and bounces all over the place]
The Wolf: What... have I done?
Granny: Now the rest's up to us.
The Woodsman: Can I have coffee?More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
Chief Grizzly: [to the Wolf, after he tells his side] You got a way to back this up?
Twitchy: [appears] I got these pictures developed, Mr. Flippers!
Nicky Flippers: That so? Let's have a look...
[examines photos]
Nicky Flippers: Hmmm... these are good... Ha...
[shows picture of Wolf mounted in fish costume]
Nicky Flippers: Here's a nice one of you, Wolf.
The Wolf: Grrph...
Twitchy: I wanna do an expose' sometime; a gallery show. And maybe a coffee table book, 'course, I don't drink coffee. Maybe a china tea/latte book.
Nicky Flippers: Photos don't lie, Chief.
The Wolf: Good work, Twitchy.
Chief Grizzly: Grrph!More [04/28/2007 12:04:00]
[about the coffee he found in the dumpster]
Elliot: Ew. EW. EW! It's terrible and wonderful at the same time! It's freedom in a cup!More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Michael "Goob" Yagoobian: [taking Mildred's coffee from her hands and drinking it] Mmm. That's good joe.More [05/09/2007 12:05:00]
Raoul Duke: Those of us that had been up all night were in no mood for coffee and donuts, we wanted strong drink. We were, after all, the absolute cream of the national sporting press.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Dickie Greenleaf: Now you'll find out why Ms. Sherwood shows up for breakfast, Tom. It's not love, it's my coffee machine.More [06/19/2007 12:06:00]
Irene at Hap's: [a waitress is being interviewed while drinking coffee and smoking] I don't do drugs.
Stanley: Caffiene's a drug. Nicotine's a drug.
Irene at Hap's: [annoyed] Who's the towhead?More [06/20/2007 12:06:00]
Franklin: [on his way to the bank, contemplating his robbery plan] This will go smooth. Unless they shoot me, which they won't because I'm gonna draw first. Of course they could push that button under the counter, but I know it's gonna be fine.
[Parks and approaches bank. The doors are locked and standing inside is a guard]
Franklin: Oh hey, buddy, I need you to open a safe for me. I mean an account, a safe account. But I see you're not open right now so I'll go grab a cup of coffee and come back later.More [07/09/2007 12:07:00]
Alyssa: Since most of these people are cheering for the home team, I'm going to root for the visitors. I'm a big visitors fan. Especially the kind that make coffee in the morning before they leave!More [07/11/2007 12:07:00]
Randal Graves: Terrorists?
[Dante stares at him angrily]
Randal Graves: I left the coffee pot on all night, didn't I?
[Dante nods]
Randal Graves: Shit! Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck when my mom's home?More [07/24/2007 12:07:00]
Randal Graves: You know who I could do without? I could do without the people in the video store.
Dante Hicks: Which ones?
Randal Graves: All of them.
[a series of vignettes]
Bed Wetting Dad: What would you get for a six-year-old who chronically wets his bed?
Video Confusion Customer: So, do you have any new releases in?
[zoom out to see a huge sign that says "NEW RELEASES" directly above her]
Low I.Q. Video Customer: Do you have that one with that guy who was in the movie that was out last year?
Randal Graves: They never rent quality flicks. They always pick the most intellectually devoid movies on the rack.
Low I.Q. Video Customer: OOOOH! NAVY SEALS!
Randal Graves: It's like in order to join, they have to have an I.Q. that's less than their shoe size.
Dante Hicks: You think you get stupid questions? You should hear the barrage of stupid questions I get.
[more vignettes]
Cold Coffee Lover: What do mean there's no ice? You mean I gotta drink this coffee hot?
Candy Confusion Customer: So how much is this thing anyway?
[zoom out to see a huge "EVERYTHING ONLY 99¢" sign behind her]
Hubcap Searching Customer: Do you sell hubcaps for a '72 Pinto hatchback? Ooh, Mini-Trucker Magazine!More [07/24/2007 12:07:00]
Ruby: We got something for you.
Ada: For all your kindness. Coffee and pie.
Ruby: That's real coffee. It ain't chicory and dirt.
Sally: Thank you both. Ruby, I look forward to this. We all do. Esco and me.
Ruby: [grinning at Ada] She made it.
Ada: I made it.
Sally: Good God in Heaven.
Ruby: I'm still alive!More [07/25/2007 12:07:00]
Ashley: Where are the coffee and doughnuts? You can't have a stakeout without coffee and doughnuts.More [09/16/2007 12:09:00]
Joe Friday: Alright, let's run through it again. You say you're a Pagan, but we caught you working for Jerry Caeser. That makes you a plant in my book. Why don't you just make it easy on yourself and lead us to the stolen magazines?
Emil Muzz: [Giving the finger to Friday] Jump on this and spin, cop! I'm not saying another word until my attourney gets here!
Pep Streebeck: Say Joe, wouldn't a couple of danishes go great with this coffee right now?
[as he says this, he opens the drawer he used on Muzz earlier, and Muzz looks horrified]More [09/25/2007 12:09:00]
Joel: [narration as Clementine acknowledges him by raising her coffee mug] Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?More [10/16/2007 12:10:00]
Cully: Where have you been? I lost your trail at the blackjack table.
Johnny: I ran into a guy who told me about a gypsy fortune-teller. She's got a hot cup of tea leaves.
Cully: I'm a coffee man myself! What happened with your astrologer? She couldn't read the stars on a cloudy night?
Johnny: You got to have faith, Cully.
Cully: And money. How much did you lose tonight?
Johnny: How much did I have?
Cully: That's what you lost last night. You're holding your own.
[Cully hands Johnny a mirror but it drops and breaks]
Johnny: Seven years' bad luck!
Cully: It was already cracked.
Johnny: Okay... Only five!
Cully: Be over before you know it.
Johnny: Aww! Say, five. That's a hunch. Loan me five bucks, Cully.
Cully: I can't afford you much longer.
Johnny: Put the five on number 5.
Cully: I'll lose my job if I'm late.
Johnny: I'll lose my confidence if I pass up a hunch bet.More [11/26/2007 12:11:00]
Berke: [reading the school play] Captain of the fairy band, Helena is close at hand. I'm understanding about every word of this shit.
Kelly: [Kelly and Basin enters] Berke.
Berke: Hey.
Kelly: What happened to your face?
Berke: A long story.
Kelly: A Midsummer Night's Dream? What, are you gonna try out for the show?
Berke: Kinda, sor - Maybe.
Kelly: Well, you know, if you're serious about it, I'm kinda good at that stuff.
Berke: Really?
Basin: Have you heard her songs?
[patting Kelly's shoulder]
Basin: She's only like the next Josie Mitchell.
Kelly: [putting her hand on Basin's shoulder] Joni Mitchell.
Berke: I-I could actually use some help. So, tommorow, coffee?
Kelly: Okay. Coffee would be great.
Berke: Okay.
Kelly: Bye.
Berke: Bye.
[Kelly and Basin leaves]
Basin: [mocking Kelly's words] If you're serious, I'm kinda good at that stuff.
Kelly: Shut up.
Basin: [mocking Kelly's words] Shut up!
[pats Kelly]
Kelly: [gasps] What?
Basin: Did you see Dennis staring at me again?
Kelly: Oh, I know, totally.
Basin: I told you.More [12/10/2007 12:12:00]
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?More [12/13/2007 12:12:00]
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.More [12/13/2007 12:12:00]
Union private: [after trading coffee for tobacco] Have you got a lame horse?
Confederate: What do you be wantin' to trade for a lame horse?
Union private: Would you take General Burnside?
Confederate: [laughs] No. I guess I'll keep the horsehide.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
[At the Christmas party after the coup vs Dr. Ibañes]
Bill Sullivan: Bill Sullivan: Gentlemen, you can all be very proud of what you started. Merry Christmas.
[Ed Jr's mishap on Santa's lap]
Bill Sullivan: [to Ed] Did you know that Phillip is going to be on the Mayan Coffee Board of Directors? Remember what I said to you about friends.More [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Skylar: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
Will: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
Skylar: What?
Will: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
Skylar: [laughs] Okay, sounds good.More [01/01/2008 12:01:00]
Jerry Seville: Good morning Seattle!
George Henderson: God I hate this guy.
Nancy Henderson: I'll turn it off.
George Henderson: No let me hate him. It'll keep me awake before the coffee kicks in.More [02/08/2008 12:02:00]
J.D.: [shows Heather pictures]
Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?
J.D.: I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots?
Heather Duke: What is this? Blackmail?
Heather Duke: [pause]
Heather Duke: I'll give you a week's lunch money.
J.D.: I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...
Heather Duke: But she couldn't handle it.
J.D.: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.
Heather Duke: What about the photographs?
J.D.: Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather.
J.D.: [gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow]More [02/26/2008 12:02:00]
Linda: *You cracked the code*! 11 months, and you suddenly come up with it out of the blue. How?
Sebastian: The usual: coffee and Twinkies.More [03/20/2008 12:03:00]
Zachary Morgan: Mary, I want to tell you why I got mad at that guy in the coffee shop last night, and why I walked away from you after I threw that rock at the lamppost and missed it.
Mary Marshall: I knew there must be some reason, but you don't have to tell me.
Zachary Morgan: Look, I was brought up in a home, an orphan's home.
Mary Marshall: That's nothing to be ashamed of.
Zachary Morgan: I'm not. It's not like being in prison, or anything like that.
Mary Marshall: No.
Zachary Morgan: Well, in the home there was a janitor. This fellow had been in the last war. A young guy. He was a shell shock case. Whenever we could get our hands on any firecrackers, we'd bang them off and laugh at him when he jumped. Well, that fellow in the coffee shop reminded me of the janitor, and they both made me think of myself and what I'd be like in a few years. Only difference is, that now in the hospital, they have a fancy name for it: neuropsychiatric.
Mary Marshall: The doctors must know a lot more about it now than they did during the last war.
Zachary Morgan: Maybe. They don't know something about me that I know. You see, before I became an engineer, I was an athlete, a pretty good one. I know what my timing used to be, they don't, and it's gone, Mary. Before this happened to me, I could have hit that lamppost all day. I don't know why I'm bothering you with all this. Yes, I do. I know why I'm bothering you. Because I feel so much better when I talk to you. I like to be with you.More [04/07/2008 12:04:00]
Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.
Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the fuck out of here.More [05/01/2008 12:05:00]
Chaka's Production Assistant: Here's your coffee sir.
Chaka: Did you spit in it?
Chaka's Production Assistant: I didn't spit in it sir.
Chaka: Any boogers in it?
Chaka's Production Assistant: There's no boogers in it sir.
Chaka: You went to film school didn't you? Must piss you off to see a black man runnin' a big old production like this, huh? Went to film school. Does your daddy know you give a nigga his coffee? Must kill him, doesn't it!
Chaka's Production Assistant: There's no boogers in it sir.
Chaka: Then taste it. Taste the booger flavor. I know it's in there!More [05/01/2008 12:05:00]
Early Grayce: Some day me and Adele be walking down the road and we'll see your book and we'll buy it and put it on our coffee table.More [05/21/2008 12:05:00]
Jack Driscoll: [looking at map] What is that?
Carl Denham: What?
Jack Driscoll: That. That right there.
Carl Denham: I don't know. What is it? A coffee stain?More [06/04/2008 12:06:00]

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