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I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Old friendships are like meats served up repeatedly, cold, comfortless, and distasteful. The stomach turns against them.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
When the stomach is full, it is easy to talk of fasting.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
A hungry stomach has no ears.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
He who is a slave to his stomach seldom worships God.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The techniques of opening conversation are universal. I knew long ago and rediscovered that the best way to attract attention, help, and conversation is to be lost. A man who seeing his mother starving to death on a path kicks her in the stomach to clear the way, will cheerfully devote several hours of his time giving wrong directions to a total stranger who claims to be lost.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Worldly riches are like nuts; many a tooth is broke in cracking them, but never is the stomach filled with eating them.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Lee: He won't die!
Billy: You wuss!
Lee: He's stronger than he looks!
Billy: Here! Stab him!
Lee: Where?
Billy: I don't know! In the stomach or something!
Lee: [stabs Charlie] Shit!
Charley Bratley: You stabbed me in the stomach!
Billy: Is it deep?!
Lee: [to Charlie] Is it deep?
Charley Bratley: [pause] Fuck you!
Billy: [sighs] No, it's not deep.More [09/25/2005 12:09:00]
It's a huge change for your body. You don't even want to look in the mirror after you've had a baby, because your stomach is just hanging there like a Shar-Pei.More [10/23/2005 12:10:00]
I know this sounds ridiculous, but I like guys with love handles. I hate a washboard stomach - that does not turn me on.More [10/26/2005 12:10:00]
“On learning to swim: I'm too big to have some woman hold my stomach and say 'Now kick your feet.'”More [06/20/2006 12:06:00]
“There was this insatiable appetite for anything on me. I’ll never forget the feeling of waking up in the morning and my stomach would be churning, and the phone would ring and someone would tell me I was on the front page of something. It got to the point where I was miserable.”More [12/08/2006 12:12:00]
Professor Severus Snape: For your information Potter, Asphodel and Wormwood making a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the draught of the living dead, a Beozar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and will save you from most poisons. As for Monkshood and Wolfsbane, they are the same plant which also goes by the name of Aconyte. Well, why aren't you all copying this down?More [02/20/2007 12:02:00]
Pam Byrnes: Did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant? Because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling like that.
Greg Focker: No, I didn't tell her. She guessed.
Pam Byrnes: She what?
Greg Focker: Yeah, and then she told my dad.
Pam Byrnes: Oh, my God.More [02/23/2007 12:02:00]
Cholly: [after breaking wind squarely in Sid's face] Sorry. My stomach hates me.More [03/08/2007 12:03:00]
Legolas: Lembas!
[nibbles a corner]
Legolas: One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man!
Merry: [to Pippin] How many did you eat?
Pippin: Four.
[burps]More [03/21/2007 12:03:00]
Wrestling Trainer: You don't need much to fight. When you're in the front ranks of a battle, chasing some northern barbarian tribe. Courage won't be in the lining of your stomach Nearchus, is in the heart of a man. You don't need to eat everyday or until your full Ptolemy. You don't need to lay in bed in the morning when you can have some good bean soup,Cassander, after a forced night's march. Come on Alexander. Come on. Who'll ever respect you as king? Do you think it's because of your father? The first rule of war is to do what you ask your men to do, no more, no less.More [03/23/2007 12:03:00]
Jamie: [learning Portuguese] Oh my God, I've got a terrible stomach ache. It must have been the prawns. My goodness, this is a very big fish! It tastes delicious!More [04/03/2007 12:04:00]
Patrick Bateman: I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.More [04/23/2007 12:04:00]
[Ned is showing Maria different sexual positions; Ned is on his stomach underneath her]
Maria: So, am I the man or the woman?
Ned Kynaston: You're the man.
Maria: And you're the woman.
Ned Kynaston: Yes.
Maria: Isn't much to do.
Ned Kynaston: Not with what we're given.More [05/01/2007 12:05:00]
[Ned is showing Maria different sexual positions; Maria is now on her stomach underneath him]
Maria: So, who am I now?
Ned Kynaston: You're the man.
Ned Kynaston: Uh, you're the woman.
Maria: [giggles] And you're?
Ned Kynaston: I'm the man, or so I assume. Seldom get up here, quite a view.
Maria: But I'm the man-woman.
Ned Kynaston: Yes, you're the man-woman.More [05/01/2007 12:05:00]
Mr. Garrison: Who knows what a can food drive is?
Eric Cartman: Isn't that where they cut open a chick's stomach to get the baby out?
Mr. Garrison: No that's a caesarian section, Eric, but remember there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.More [05/02/2007 12:05:00]
Jack Crow: Look padre... i'm starting to like you... so don't make me hurt you. Come on... tell me what you know... i'll buy you a beer and get you laid. If you don't i'm gonna have to start cutting on ya.
Father Adam Guiteau: No you won't... your a righteous man... besides any secrets i keep are to protect the church and its principles.
Jack Crow: [grabs padre and pins him to the wall] Open... open...
[puts a towel in his mouth and cuts his hand]
Jack Crow: Now listen to me you fuck... my father kept a secret once... he got bit by a vampire... he kept it a secret from me and my mother... by the fifth day he was turning, that night he attacked my mother and then he came after me. I killed my own father padre... i got no trouble killin you. Now... last chance.
Father Adam Guiteau: [puts another towel in his mouth and pretends to lunge at his stomach with the knife] No... No... ok i'll talk.More [05/24/2007 12:05:00]
Emily: Andrea, my God! You look so chic.
Andy Sachs: Oh, thanks. You look so thin.
Emily: Really? It's for Paris, I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Emily: Andrea, my God! You look so chic.
Andy Sachs: Oh, thanks. You look so thin.
Emily: Really? It's for Paris, I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
Miranda Priestly: [Miranda and some assistants are deciding between two similar belts for an outfit. Andy sniggers because she thinks they look exactly the same] Something funny?
Andy Sachs: No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.
Miranda Priestly: This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Emily: I'm one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight.More [06/12/2007 12:06:00]
Professor William Wexler: Had those before?
Brenda: Yeah. They're Pop Rocks; they crackle in your mouth.
Professor William Wexler: Eat some... thirsty?... What's wrong? Something you might have heard about mixing Pop Rocks and Soda?
Brenda: Well, supposedly, your stomach and your intestines and everything bursts.More [06/17/2007 12:06:00]
John: [on videotape] Hello Amanda. You don't know me, but I know you. I want to play a game. Here's what happens if you lose. The device you are wearing is hooked into your upper and lower jaw. When the timer in the back goes off, your mouth will be permanently ripped open. Think of it like a reverse bear trap. Here, I'll show you. There is only one key to open the device. It's in the stomach of your dead cellmate. Look around Amanda. Know that I'm not lying. Better hurry up. Live or die, make your choice.More [06/25/2007 12:06:00]
Travis: Oh, I ate mud once. Tasted okay. But they had to take me to the hospital and pump my stomach and I met a guy with a monkey heart!More [07/09/2007 12:07:00]
Midnite: [to John] I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.More [07/29/2007 12:07:00]
Buscemi: What happens when he's dead?
El Mariachi: When Bucho is dead... it's over. He is the last one.
Buscemi: End of payback? An eye for an eye and all that crap? You finally going to be satisfied?
El Mariachi: I think so.
Buscemi: I hope so. Because I don't have the stomach for this anymore.
El Mariachi: You never did.
Buscemi: Neither did you.More [08/26/2007 12:08:00]
[indicating his rapidly healed stomach wound]
Sergeant Harry Wells: You cannot tell me that is fucking normal.More [09/20/2007 12:09:00]
Dr. Allison Reed: Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher at USAMRIID until 1997, is that correct?
Ira Kane: Yes.
Dr. Allison Reed: Until you were dismissed in June. Can you tell us why that was?
Ira Kane: My services were no longer required?
Dr. Allison Reed: So, in your opinion, your dismissal had nothing to do with an experimental anthrax vaccine that you developed and distributed to over 40,000 U.S. soldiers in May of that year?
Ira Kane: [leans in] I see where you're going with this.
Ira Kane: It may have been a factor, you'd have to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Dr. Allison Reed: I'll make a note to do that. But in the meantime, could you tell us what happened to the soldiers who were inoculated with your vaccine?
Ira Kane: Well, uh, none of them got anthrax, if that's what you're asking.
[fakes some chuckles]
Dr. Allison Reed: What did they get?
Ira Kane: Well, as with any new vaccine, there were certain side effects...
Dr. Allison Reed: Could you be more specific?
Ira Kane: Well, it was a wide range of things, it's very technical, I'd hate to waste the court's time...
Dr. Allison Reed: Humor me.
Ira Kane: Some debilitating stomach cramps... severe diarrhea... memory loss.
Dr. Allison Reed: Go on. Any more symptoms?
Ira Kane: [Harry is looking mortified and shocked at the defense table] Partial facial paralysis, temporary blindness, drooling, bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrollable flatulence. I think that's it.
Dr. Allison Reed: One more question. Do you recall what the soldiers called this illness?
Ira Kane: Yeah, they called it "The Kane Madness."More [10/22/2007 12:10:00]
Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.More [11/05/2007 12:11:00]
You can only hold your stomach in for so many yearsMore [11/25/2007 12:11:00]
When he called me, my stomach went wrench! … [I thought], Maybe Dave and I can buddy up and all of a sudden I’ll just get in a car at the end of the tour and drive down and see Eddie and Alex [Van Halen] and say, ‘OK, guys, off your asses, let’s go! We’re going out and doing this.’More [12/07/2007 12:12:00]
[Max's stomach growls]
Goofy: Max, was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
Max: Man, I'm STARVING!More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]
Chunk: You guys, I'm hungry. I know when my stomach growls there's trouble.More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]
Happy Gilmore: [after punching Bob Barker to the ground] You like THAT old man? You want a piece of ME?
Bob Barker: [shakes his head as he get up from the ground] I don't want a PIECE of you, I want the whole THING!
[Bob punches Happy in the stomach once then punches him in the face ten times. His tenth blow causes happy to fall into a small pond]More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]
[Chance's stomach growls]
Chance: I think... I need to eat some grass.
Peter: Eww!
Jamie Seaver: That's Grandma's cake!
Chance: [voice-over] I learned an important lesson that day: cake and polyester don't mix.More [03/24/2008 12:03:00]
Shadow: That was good, Sassy. A full stomach sure feels good.
Chance: Yeah, you sure do serve a lot better than we do.
Sassy: [burps] Excuse me.More [03/24/2008 12:03:00]
Dan Foreman: You're pregnant? Holy crap! Does it feel like a boy?
Ann Foreman: Right now it feels like the stomach flu.More [04/13/2008 12:04:00]
Dan Foreman: [about her being pregnant] Holy crap. Are you sure?
Ann Foreman: Yeah.
Dan Foreman: Does it feel like a boy?
Ann Foreman: Right now, it feels like a stomach flu.More [04/13/2008 12:04:00]
E. K. Hornbeck: Which is hungrier my stomach or my soul? Hotdog!More [04/15/2008 12:04:00]
E. K. Hornbeck: Evolution is a tricky question, which is hungrier, my stomach or my soul? Hot dog.
Bible salesman: Are you an evolutionist? An infidel? A sinner?
E. K. Hornbeck: The worst kind, I write for a newspaper.
[to Henry]
E. K. Hornbeck: Want a hot dog?
Henry Drummond: No.
Bible salesman: Oh then you sir, you must be a man of God.
Henry Drummond: No no no, ulcers.More [04/15/2008 12:04:00]
Carrie: You know what, that was no accident!
Heather: He's mine!
[pushes Carrie]
Heather: Stay away from him!
Carrie: Oh you little brat!
[slaps Heather]
Beth: [tries to break Carrie and Heather up] Girls, peace and love! C'mon you guys are fighting over -...
Heather: We're fighting over John Tucker, he's mine!
Beth: [throws volleyball at Heather] OH!
Heather: What the hell is your problem?
Beth: I am dating John Tucker.
[Heather throws a volleyball at Beth but Beth ducks, it hits Kate instead. Carrie and Beth slap each other]
Coach Williams: [whistle] ENOUGH! Let's get back in the game.
[Beth pushes Carrie, then Heather pushes Beth. Coach Williams tries to break up the fight. Carrie throws the volleyball that was supposed to get Beth and Heather, but gets Coach Williams instead. The crowd groans]
Carrie: Darn it Coach!
[Heather throws a bag of volleyballs at Beth, but gets Kate in the stomach instead]
Carrie: Just let me get through. Just let me get them
[Heather throws the same bag of volleyballs and hits Beth. Beth in return throws random volleyballs, one hitting Carrie and one hitting Kate. Then Beth rolls the whole cart of volleyballs and it knocks over Carrie, Heather, Kate, and Coach Williams like bowling pins. Beth lunges herself on Heather. Heather, Beth, and Carrie fight on the gym floor]
Kate: [blows Coach Williams' whistle] This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him, you are beating the shit out of each other?
Coach Williams: LANGUAGE!
[Coach Williams gets up, angrily]
Coach Williams: DETENTION! You, you, you, and YOU! Honestly...
[points to Carrie, Beth, Heather, and Kate. Coach Williams leaves the scene disgusted. Even Kate beats a hasty retreat]
Beth: [peeved] Who is that?
Heather: I don't know. Pam Something.More [05/13/2008 12:05:00]
[at Juno's ultrasound]
Leah: Whoa! Check out Baby Big Head. Dude, that thing is freaky lookin'.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me. I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]
Japanese Businessman: Do you like Ferraris?
Go Go Yubari: Ferraris... Italian trash.
[Japanese businessman giggles]
Go Go Yubari: Do you want to screw me?
[Japanese businessman giggles again]
Go Go Yubari: Don't laugh. Do you want to screw me, yes or no?
Japanese Businessman: Yes.
[She stabs him in the stomach with a Samurai short sword]
Go Go Yubari: How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me?... Or is it I who has penetrated you?More [05/29/2008 12:05:00]
Didymus: Was that my stomach or your's, Ambrocious?More [06/24/2008 12:06:00]
[Ducky's stomach growls]
Ducky: My stomach is talking.More [06/28/2008 12:06:00]
[Banzai's stomach growls]
Shenzi: Shut up.
Banzai: I can't help it. I'm so hungry... I gotta have a wildebeest.
Shenzi: Stay *put*.
Banzai: Well... can't I just pick off one of the little sick ones?
Shenzi: NO!More [07/25/2008 12:07:00]
I give you a safe rule, good landlady. Never do anything on an empty stomach - but eat!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mr. Micawber:
[to young Copperfield] Boy, as I have frequently had occasion to observe, "When the stomach is empty, the spirits are low."

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[costumed as Pagliacci] Now, what have you got to say to me?

Otis B. Driftwood:
Just this - can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Frank Taylor:
How yuh doin', Ed?

Ed Jackson:
Oh, terrible! I feel like a drill was driving right through the top of my head.

Frank Taylor:
It might be a good idea to let out some of dat beer you slopped up last night.

Ed Jackson:
Aw, quit riding me, will yuh?

Frank Taylor:
Oh, I ain't even started on you yet. C'mon, let's eat.

Ed Jackson:
No, Frank, I couldn't.

Frank Taylor:
Oh, come on. Do you good. You gotta eat.

[He snaps his finger]

Frank Taylor:
I got just the thing to straighten you out.

Ed Jackson:
Yeah? What is it?

Frank Taylor:
Some nice ice cold oatmeal smothered wid lard.

[Frank taps Ed on the stomach and Ed winces]

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Gideon:
Ohhh! I hope that wasn't whiskey you were drinking.

Cuthbert J. Twillie:
Ah, no, dear, just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
You're a clever little man little master of the universe, but mortals are weak and frail. If their stomach speaks, they forget their brain. If their brain speaks, they forget their heart. And if their heart speaks


... they forget everything.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bugs Bunny:
What's this?

Elmer Fudd:
Your dinner.

Bugs Bunny:
My what? My dinner! What do you think I am... a rabbit? I'll starve before I eat this stuff.

[Starts eating]

Bugs Bunny:
You'll be sorry... starving a little gray rabbit! This is terrible! Me eating this stuff! How do you expect me to stomach this stuff?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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Quotes of the month

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