absurd

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absurd

What monster have we here? A great Deed at this hour of day? A great just deed -- and not for pay? Absurd -- or insincere?More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The world in which we were called to exist was an absurd world, and there was no other in which we could take refuge.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Einstein is an analytical mathematician seeking to give a physical interpretation to the conclusions of his mathematical process. In this he is hampered by a load of contradictory and absurd assumptions of the school that he follows, which throws him into all manner of difficulty. Einstein has such a faculty for embracing both sides of a contradiction that one would have to be of the same frame of mind to follow his thought, it is so peculiarly his own. The whole Relativity theory is as easy to follow as the path of a bat in the air at night.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The attitude that nature is chaotic and that the artist puts order into it is a very absurd point of view, I think. All that we can hope for is to put some order into ourselves.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is not in the world of ideas that life is lived. Life is lived for better or worse in life, and to a man in life, his life can be no more absurd than it can be the opposite of absurd, whatever that opposite may be.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is as absurd to argue men, as to torture them, into believing.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
For a long time I found the celebrities of modern painting and poetry ridiculous. I loved absurd pictures, fanlights, stage scenery, mountebanks backcloths, inn-signs, cheap colored prints; unfashionable literature, church Latin, pornographic books badly spelt, grandmothers novels, fairy stories, little books for children, old operas, empty refrains, simple rhythms.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Educating a son I should allow him no fairy tales and only a very few novels. This is to prevent him from having 1. the sense of romantic solitude (if he is worth anything he will develop a proper and useful solitude) which identification with the hero gives. 2. cant ideas of right and wrong, absurd systems of honor and morality which never will he be able completely to get rid of, 3. the attainment of ideals, of a priori desires, of a priori emotions. He should amuse himself with fact only: he will then not learn that if the weak younger son do or do not the magical honorable thing he will win the princess with hair like flax.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great rents in the quotidian.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The most absurd and reckless aspirations have sometimes led to extraordinary success.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people say, and I never interfere with what charming people do.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
It was very exciting, ... It's all very new to me, you know? It's an interesting and fascinating process. There's something very pure about it being from the page, into the air, and onto the recording machine. You have that and you combine that with doing scenes where they're going to mesh these voices together, but you're doing a scene with people you've never even met before, which is slightly absurd but kinda great.More [05/19/2006 12:05:00]
The constraints of melodrama can be a great blessing, because they demand that all the characters involved - as absurd and extreme as they may initially seem - must stay utterly rooted in their own reality, or the whole project collapses.More [06/15/2006 12:06:00]
But we live in a modern world, you know, and, and also it does seem to me that if you - that whatever talents you have, it... I mean it may sound a bit absurd but I, I think it's your, absolutely your duty to resolve them, you know?More [07/10/2006 12:07:00]
It begins and ends with money. It's absurd in this day and age when we need so much money for education, health, for people, that a $100 million dollars can be spent on a film. It's obscene.More [09/12/2006 12:09:00]
It's an excellent life. I'm rich. I'm happy. I have a great job. I travel hither and yon to fabulous places. I'm surrounded by wonderful, interesting people. I live a privileged life -- hugely privileged.... It would be absurd to pretend that it's anything different.More [09/13/2006 12:09:00]
I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too.More [10/09/2006 12:10:00]
I am such a sucker for reality television. It's almost like it's so absurd that you can't stop watching it. I just think it's a phase and people will get over it.More [11/06/2006 12:11:00]
There's something very sinister about a woman who is predatory but has an absurd voice working as a disservice to her.More [12/10/2006 12:12:00]
Poison Ivy: Men, the most absurd of God's creatures. We give you life... and we can take it away just as easily.More [03/19/2007 12:03:00]
Sherlock Holmes: You're sitting in a room with an all-southern view. Suddenly, a bear walks by the window. What colour is the bear?
John Watson: Red! The bear is red!
Sherlock Holmes: Why on Earth would the bear be red?
John Watson: The southern sun is very hot. The bear would be terribly burnt!
Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] That is the most absurd answer I've ever heard.More [05/10/2007 12:05:00]
I think it just looks absurd for us constantly to shovel out tax breaks when executives go on television and say they arent needed, They dont need tax incentives.More [07/08/2007 12:07:00]
Jean-Pierre Sarti: I suppose what's wrong with me is my life. But I can't change it, or won't. So there's nothing you can do for me.
Louise Frederickson: What's wrong with your life?
Jean-Pierre Sarti: I've begun to see the absurdity of it. All of us, proving what? That we can go faster, and perhaps remain alive? Nino gambling his life for a trophy, then fills it with beer, and does tricks. Stoddard filling himself with drugs in order to drive, and still passing out with the pain. Don't you see how absurd it all is? Who cares?
Louise Frederickson: I thought you cared, for yourselves. I didn't know you asked of anyone else. Nevertheless, others do care. 100,000 of them cared today.
Jean-Pierre Sarti: And did you see them rush to see Peter burn? Did you see the looks on their faces? *I* saw. For the first time today I *really* saw those faces.
Louise Frederickson: But not all of them, Jean-Pierre. There are some who come for that, for the accidents and the fires. But the others... the others ride with you all. You put something in their lives they can't put there themselves.More [01/07/2008 12:01:00]
Monique Delvaux-Sarti: He now wonders if you're ready to be beaten.
Jean-Pierre Sarti: No one is ever ready for that.
Monique Delvaux-Sarti: You will never retire, Jean-Pierre.
Jean-Pierre Sarti: What does it matter to you, Monique?
Monique Delvaux-Sarti: To me?
Jean-Pierre Sarti: Yes.
Monique Delvaux-Sarti: As always, as a hero, you're a good asset to the company.
Jean-Pierre Sarti: Well, perhaps, I'm tired of being an asset to the company. And tired, too, of this farce we perform, you and I, for public consumption.
Monique Delvaux-Sarti: Well, it doesn't really matter that you are tired of these things, Jean-Pierre. If you should decide not to continue with, eh, the farce, as you call it, that of course is up to you. But it will make no difference. As long as you're my husband, the company will have the prestige of your name, and whether or not you ever step into one of these again. And you will always be my husband. You know that, don't you. This one may be different to you, but not to me. To me, she's just like all the others, and we will always be married, you and I.
Jean-Pierre Sarti: Stay away from me, Monique! Let me alone, please!
[pause]
Jean-Pierre Sarti: Tell me, what terrible thing have I done to you that make you want to labor me to this absurd life we have together? What terrible thing, Monique?More [01/07/2008 12:01:00]
Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.More [03/10/2008 12:03:00]
Sometimes I say to myself, what are you doing in this absurd job? Why don't you go to Africa and help people? But I cannot help people, because I am a hypochondriac.More [04/24/2008 12:04:00]
Celine: So you're telling me that successful relationships... are made in heaven? Notfounded on the daily practicality... of two people being prepared... to tolerate the imperfections of one another?
Robert: It's not successful relationships, Celine. It's love. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place... that we don't know about.
Celine: So you also reject the idea... that love is merely an emotional adaptation... to a physical necessity?
Robert: Completely.
Celine: Are you serious?
Robert: Fate intervenes in people's lives. In ours, for instance. Fate brought us together. It kept us together. We were destined for one another.
Celine: Fate had a pretty strange way of making its point.
Robert: But that's part of the beauty of it. It's inexplicable, unpredictable... and absolutely beyond control or understanding.
Celine: But you nearly got killed.
Robert: But I didn't... and here we are.
Celine: Do you have any substantial evidence to back all this?
Robert: None at all.
Celine: And you realize that it's absurd and irrational?
Robert: I know that.
Celine: Then why do you believe it?
Robert: Because, Celine, I'm a dreamer.
Celine: Well, I guess that makes two of us.
Robert: Are you ready?
Celine: As I'll ever be.
Robert: Then let's go.More [07/21/2008 12:07:00]
Frank Whemple:
Oh, I know it seems absurd when we've known each other such a short time. But I'm serious.



Helen Grosvenor/The Princess:
Don't you think I've had enough excitement for one evening, without the additional thrill of a strange man making love to me?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[about Pasteur]



Dr. Charbonnet:
You remember a few years ago, he was the cause of a slight controversy on the subject of sour wine.



Napoleon III:
Oh, yes, I recall.



Dr. Charbonnet:
He claimed to have found little animals in it... infinitesimal beasts.



Napoleon III:
But are there such creatures? Do they really exist?



Dr. Charbonnet:
Your Majesty, microscopic organisms have long been observed. They spring into being of their own accord wherever there is putrid matter or fermentation. They are the result rather than the cause of disease. By heating wine to certain temperature, Monsieur Pasteur was able to destroy them. I presume he plans to cure blood poisoning in the same manner: namely, by boiling our blood.



Napoleon III:
Heaven forbid.



Dr. Charbonnet:
It's not unlikely, I assure you.



Napoleon III:
But, I won't have it, Charbonnet. I won't tolerate such practices. We're not living in the Middle Ages. This is France... Paris... the nineteenth century.



Empress Eugenie:
I think Monsieur Pasteur should be allowed to defend himself.



Dr. Charbonnet:
But, your Majesty...



Empress Eugenie:
I, too, have read the pamphlet, Doctor Charbonnet. It said nothing about boiling blood - merely to boil the instruments that you surgeons use.



Dr. Charbonnet:
Your Majesty, if I did anything so absurd as to boil my instruments or scrub my hands, they'd think I was a witch doctor resorting to charms and laugh me out of the hospital.



Empress Eugenie:
That would be a novelty, Monsieur. Most people who go to hospitals are CARRIED out... dead.



Dr. Charbonnet:
Yes, Cahrbonnet. Why?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ferdinand de Lesseps:
Oh, but it's absurd to think that any one nation would dominate the canal!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Edward Rochester:
I put my requests in an absurd way. The fact is once and for all, I do not wish to treat you as an inferior, but I've baffled through varied experiences with many men of many nations and roved over the globe while you've spent your whole life with one set of people in one house. Don't you agree it gives me the right to be masterful and abrupt?



Jane Eyre:
Do as you please, sir. You pay me 30 pounds a year for receiving your orders.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Charlie:
All this fool talk about The Louisa. Goin' down the river...



Rose:
What do you mean?



Charlie:
I mean we ain't goin' to do nothin' of the sort.



Rose:
Why, of course we're going! What an absurd idea!



Charlie:
What an absurd idea! What an absurd idea! Lady, I may be a born fool, but you got ten absurd ideas to my one, an' don't you forget it!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Sarah Miles:
[to Father Compton] ... I know that it sounds absurd now, but I thought I'd prayed him alive. That *is* absurd, isn't it?... But people don't come alive; when they're dead, they're dead as mutton. Well, at any rate, I prayed, I... I made that stupid promise, and then he... he walked into the room. So it was all a mistake...



Sarah Miles:
If there is a god, then he put the thought of that prayer in my mind, and I hate him for it.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Allan:
That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it?



Museum Girl:
Yes, it is.



Allan:
What does it say to you?



Museum Girl:
It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.



Allan:
What are you doing Saturday night?



Museum Girl:
Committing suicide.



Allan:
What about Friday night?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Claudius receives a letter with a small box]



Claudius:
It's from Herod.



Calpurnia:
What does he say?



Claudius:
It's written from J-Jerusalem.



Calpurnia:
Read it to me, his letters are so amusing.



Claudius:
[reading] "My dear old friend, what is all this I hear about your living in three rooms in the p-poor quarter of town? Is it serious?"


[Calpurnia laughs]



Claudius:
"Why did you not write to me? Is it that absurd p-pride of yours? Well, I shall attend to that shortly. Meanwhile, knowing how loath you are to accept m-money, and being the only practical friend you ever had, I enclose a little p-present for you. Please make proper use of it. Herod."



Calpurnia:
What is it? It seems very small.



Claudius:
Well, I don't know.


[Claudius opens the box. It is a set of four dice]



Calpurnia:
Well, I don't think that's very generous.


[Claudius shakes the dice and rolls them - twenty-four, all sixes]



Calpurnia:
Venus. Oh, Claudius, I think your luck is changing.


[Claudius rolls them again - all sixes again]



Calpurnia:
I'm sure it's an omen.


[a third time - all sixes yet again]



Calpurnia:
Those dice are crooked. You can't possibly use them.


[Claudius rolls them a fourth time. They both break up laughing]



Claudius:
Ah, dear Herod. How I miss him.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Louis Winthorpe III:
I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Penelope hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful Negro.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[explaining why he didn't express his unhappiness with the CIA in a more acceptable manner]



Christopher Boyce:
It wouldn't have made a difference. I freely chose my response to this absurd world. If given the opportunity, I would have been more vigorous.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Shang Tsung:
Challenging Goro eh? You weren't supposed to fight him now. Are you THAT eager to die?



Cage:
I'm not the one who's gonna die.



Shang Tsung:
I see. You're very foolish. A true sign of a hero. You want to protect your friends, but make no mistake; they too will die, after Goro destroys you.



Cage:
So what's the problem?



Shang Tsung:
As you wish. As absurd as your request is I shall grant it. In return, I reserve the right to challenge the winner myself... or another of my choosing. In a place designated by me for the final battle of the tournament.



Cage:
You got it pal.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Luigi Mackeroni:
Every morning when I wake up, it all seems like a bad nightmare. But then I reach for my groin and face the absurd facts once more.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elliot Carver:
Don't you realise how absurd your position is?



James Bond:
No more absurd than starting a war for ratings.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Kenji:
Shame on you.



John Sage:
Excuse me?



Kenji:
Aren't you ashamed of seducing such a young woman? Behave, like an old man.



John Sage:
Do I look like an old man?



Kenji:
Ofcourse! You don't think you're still a teenager, do you?



John Sage:
No, not for some time.



Kenji:
So, find someone your age.



John Sage:
Young man, I know all this seems a little absurd to you. When I was your age, I felt the same way. But when you're a little older, you'll understand.



Kenji:
[laughs] I'm glad I won't have to.


[sits down at the table]



Kenji:
You should let her go, she doesn't belong to you. That young lady needs to meet guys of her age.



John Sage:
You wanna meet her, is that right?



Kenji:
No, not me. I'm dying tonight.



John Sage:
Excuse me?



Kenji:
Don't worry, I'm not comitting suicide. I just found out that I'm going to die tonight. That's all.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Co-Host:
But, if Kerry gets elected, is it going to - you have said you're voting for him. You obviously support him. It's clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president?



Jon Stewart:
No. Why would it be harder?



Co-Host:
Because you support...



Jon Stewart:
The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So, in that case, if it's less absurd, then, yes, I think it would be harder. But, I mean, it would be hard to top this group, quite frankly. In terms of absurdity and their world matching up to the one that - you know, it was interesting. President Bush was saying, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record. But I've heard President Bush describe his record. His record doesn't match his record. So I don't worry about it in that respect. But let me ask you guys, again, a question, because we talked a little bit about, you're actually doing honest debate and all that. But, after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards?



Co-Host:
The men's room.



Jon Stewart:
Right after that?



Co-Host:
Home.



Jon Stewart:
Spin Alley.



Co-Host:
Home.



Jon Stewart:
Spin Alley.



Co-Host:
What are you talking about? You mean at these debates?



Jon Stewart:
Yes. You go to spin alley, the place called spin alley. Now, don't you think that, for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag, that you're literally walking to a place called deception lane? Like, it's spin alley. It's - don't you see, that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys...



Co-Host:
No, I actually believe - I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with some of them.



Co-Host:
Neither of us was ever in the spin room, actually.



Co-Host:
No, I did - I went to do the Larry King show. They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush, who



Jon Stewart:
I think they believe President Bush would do a better job. And I believe the Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is, they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Joe Scheffer:
Did you have fun?



Natalie Scheffer:
Weekend from hell. They took me to another silly-ass hippie restaurant.



Natalie Scheffer:
With thee most absurd one-man play ever produced!



Joe Scheffer:
"Silly-ass"?



Natalie Scheffer:
Dad...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.More [07/05/2011 01:07:43]
I'm the end of the line; absurd and appalling as it may seem, serious New York theater has died in my lifetime.More [07/07/2011 03:07:01]
Humanity should question itself, once more, about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war, on whose stage of death and pain only remain standing the negotiating table that could and should have prevented it.More [07/13/2011 06:07:24]
It is as absurd to say that a man can't love one woman all the time as it is to say that a violinist needs several violins to play the same piece of music.More [07/20/2011 01:07:59]
It's absolutely absurd to even consider voting on Sunday alcohol sales. I am opposed to alcohol period. It doesn't do anybody any good in the long run. It's a dangerous drug.More [09/01/2011 08:09:24]
The origin of the absurd idea of immortal life is easy to discover; it is kept alive by hope and fear, by childish faith, and by cowardice.More [09/14/2011 06:09:34]
It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.More [09/18/2011 08:09:37]
The best mannered people make the most absurd lovers.More [09/21/2011 04:09:16]
I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.More [09/23/2011 09:09:40]
Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end.More [09/30/2011 04:09:32]
Is it absurd to imagine that our social behavior, from amoeba to man, is also planned and dictated, from stored information, by the cells? And that the time has come for men to be entrusted with the task, through heroic efforts, of bringing life to other worlds?More [09/30/2011 11:09:38]
It is certain that the study of human psychology, if it were undertaken exclusively in prisons, would also lead to misrepresentation and absurd generalizations.More [10/06/2011 03:10:09]
The absurd consequences of neglecting structure but using the concept of order just the same are evident if one examines the present terminology of information theory.More [11/14/2011 11:11:22]
I find it hard to take rock groups very seriously or treat them with respect. There is something absurd about these gloomy young men getting together and banging away.More [12/18/2011 01:12:10]
The history of Absurd started on January 2nd, 1992 in a small Thuringian town, when Wolf, Sebastian 'DMD' S., and Hendrik 'JFN' M. decided to respond to the New Wave of Black Metal with a band of their own.More [02/22/2012 01:02:07]

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