The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]

From his childhood onwards this boy will be surrounded by sycophants and flatterers. In due course, following the precedent which has already been set, he will be sent on a tour of the world and probably rumors of a morganatic marriage alliance will follow, and the end of it will be the country will be called upon to pay the bill.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]

Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women.
Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron.
Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band! And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!More [08/28/2005 12:08:00]

I was so looking forward to bringing the Showgirl tour to Australia and to Glastonbury and am sorry to have to disappoint my fans. Nevertheless hopefully all will work out fine and I'll be back with you all again soon.More [03/14/2006 12:03:00]

I have a following. Whenever I am on tour they come. It is always sold out.More [03/20/2006 12:03:00]

I was traveling on our tour bus through Europe and I was thinking I want to have long blonde hair.More [03/20/2006 12:03:00]

You know what, I'm very interested in acting, but right now I'm busy promoting my album and going on tour because that's my first love, but I'm very interested in doing some parts that may come my way. I've been offered a few movie parts so far, but I have to really concentrate on singing. But it's something I'm interested in doing eventually. I haven't been offered a part that truly inspires me to take time off, though.More [03/22/2006 12:03:00]

For anyone to communicate, you have to make an effort. Whether you're born in Idaho with American TV or in Guatemala, you'll always have to fight certain barriers to communicate. For the first few years I sang, I used no words. Then very Slowly I started throwing one or two Icelandic words in there. When I was eighteen I did my first tour abroad, and I would translate one or two words into English, sing the rest in Icelandic, and do noises as well. Communication is about energy. That's how we are, and the language Sometimes doesn't matter all that much.More [04/04/2006 12:04:00]

I went on tour in the play H.M.S. Pinafore.More [05/04/2006 12:05:00]

Working in Venice was like a four-month guided tour of the city. It was like shooting a film inside a museum.More [05/10/2006 12:05:00]

I think that when John started out, he had the desire to be a voice on the radio, but he didn't anticipate a grueling tour schedule and all that. I don't think he necessarily wanted to play live. I had a book listing the gigs that they played back then, and it was unbelievable. In the late '60s he was still driving to concerts himself.More [05/19/2006 12:05:00]

“I also went on a tour of the White House, visited the tourist's spots, including all the monuments, then went to New York to have lunch with former press secretary, Dede Myers.”More [07/16/2006 12:07:00]

One of the best parts of the tour was getting to see these great performers work close up.More [07/27/2006 12:07:00]

I did a theatrical musical, Annie Warbucks, when I was 11. We did a tour and we stopped by Los Angeles.More [08/12/2006 12:08:00]

Novartis had contacted me wanting to know if I was interested in working with the National Women's Health Resources Center and sponsoring this tour to get out the word to women about the symptoms and talking to your doctor and things like that.More [08/13/2006 12:08:00]

I talked to three other bands and a lot of individual people. In my head I always thought if I went on tour then I would put together different friends of mine in kind of a select band. But when you only have two weeks, dealing with people's schedules is so crazy.More [08/20/2006 12:08:00]

It took me two weeks to decide to do the tour instead of going right back to school. An album is short-lived and college is four years.More [10/10/2006 12:10:00]

I tour hard and I work hard and I come home.More [11/05/2006 12:11:00]

Toting around a full orchestra on tour is very ambitious. I would consider doing a show now and then, like do a show at Radio City or Carnegie Hall with a full orchestra.More [11/12/2006 12:11:00]

We just done doing The Blessed Hellride tour and Ozzfest.More [11/15/2006 12:11:00]

“I'm 30 years-old and I've been on the tour for 17 years. I would never do anything toward another player in that kind of way.”More [11/16/2006 12:11:00]

“I think before when I was first coming out on the tour and young, you know, you're very hungry to achieve and to have success and to make money, to win tournaments, to get a high ranking, just to be noticed and get contracts. All those kind of things you just get caught up with. For me now it's different because I have achieved a lot of great things in my career. I don't play for those things anymore now.”More [11/16/2006 12:11:00]

“What can I say? ... I am 30 and I have been on the tour for 17 years and there are still firsts for me. That's pretty amazing.”More [11/16/2006 12:11:00]

“It's amazing, I'm 30 and this is my 17th year on the tour and there are still firsts for me,”More [11/16/2006 12:11:00]

The book tour has been really interesting and very gratifying. I have not book toured before. I've never had quite as much pleasure, as much satisfaction.More [11/24/2006 12:11:00]

“Len said, 'I'll give you a tour if you promise to join the L.A. Conservancy,'”More [12/04/2006 12:12:00]

“I saw his solo tour twice in North Carolina, and it was fantastic both nights. There are some incredibly heavy songs on this album, and he's using lots of different singing voices that bring a delicacy to the whole thing.”More [02/06/2007 12:02:00]

“People weren't buying as many records. My record company did not want me. I went through three record companies, went on tour at the wrong time. It destroyed me.”More [02/14/2007 12:02:00]

April: Well, I was going to give you guys a tour of the store. Shall we go get him?
[Raphael]
Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello: No.
Donatello: Uh... He just needs to blow off some steam.
Michaelangelo: Yeah.More [03/20/2007 12:03:00]

Johnny Cash: You know what your problem is, June Carter? You are afraid to be in love, you are afraid of losing control, And you know what June Carter, I think you are afraid of livin' in my big fat shadow.
June Carter: Oh really? Is that what my problem is?
Johnny Cash: Yes.
June Carter: My problem is that it's 2 A.M. My problem is I'm asleep. I'm on a tour bus with eight stinkin' men. Rule number one: Don't propose to a girl on a bus, you got that? Rule number two: Don't tell her it's because you had a bad dream.
Johnny Cash: June.
June Carter: What?
Johnny Cash: Marry me.
[June glares]
Johnny Cash: Ok... Ok fine... but that's the last time i'm asking...
June Carter: Well, good. I hate reruns.More [05/15/2007 12:05:00]

[Jack's explaining his "excuse" for his tour de stade after injuring his ankle]
Jack: Just trying to work a few things out.
Desmond: Ah, a girl, right?
Jack: A patient.
Desmond: Ah, but a girl patient. What's her name?
Jack: Her name's Sarah.
Desmond: What'd you do to her, then?
Jack: Do to her?
Desmond: You must have done something worthy of this self-flagellation.
Jack: I told her... I made her a promise I couldn't keep... I told her I'd fix her and I couldn't. I failed.
Desmond: Right. Just one thing - what if you did fix her?
Jack: I didn't.
Desmond: But what if you did?
Jack: You don't know what you're talking about, man.
Desmond: I don't? Why not?
Jack: Because with her situation that would be a miracle, "brother."
Desmond: Oh, and you don't believe in miracles?
[Jack laughs and shakes his head]
Desmond: Right. Well then, I'm going to give you some advice anyway. You have to lift it up.
Jack: Lift it up?
Desmond: Your ankle. You have to keep it elevated. It's been nice chatting.
Jack: Jack.
Desmond: Jack, I'm Desmond. Good luck, brother. See you in another life, yeah?More [05/21/2007 12:05:00]

Patti: Think of your inner voice.
Frances: Inner voice...”What the fuck am I doing on a gay tour of Tuscany?"More [06/15/2007 12:06:00]

Molly Gunn: The last time I saw my mom and dad, I was eight going on nine... eight years, six months, and three days... almost as old as you are. They were going on tour and leaving me behind for the first time, because they didn't want me missing any more school, and they came to my room to say goodbye and I wouldn't open the door, so they left. I fell asleep and then the next thing I know, my nanny was waking me up in the middle of the night telling me their plane had crashed.
Lorraine Schleine: You're lucky... that you were mad. See, when you're mad you don't miss people and if you stay mad, it's like you never knew them at all... that way you don't have to feel sucky about it... You were lucky...
Molly Gunn: I wasn't mad, I was confused... everyone was talking, talking, talking at me and I couldn't understand a word they were saying, and then their voices became a blur and soon I couldn't even recognize their faces; they were like these blobs and they started to grow fangs and their eyes became green and I knew I had to run away. So I packed my knapsack, got on the train, and looked up at the map and decided I wanted to live on Coney Island. I thought it would be... you know... a real island. That I thought I could hide there like Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Fin, but imagine my surprise... The teacups were the only ride they would let me on by myself, so I got on it and I started spinning around and 'round and 'round. But I feel like I am still there... spinning 'round and 'round and 'round... and the ride won't stop... You were right, Ray, I am scared. But you're scared too. You're scared as I am and I thought that maybe if we could go together...More [06/18/2007 12:06:00]

Jamie: [to the tour group] This is amazing. Usually, they
[the Vatican]
Jamie: wait 15 days to elect a new Pope. We could be seeing history in the making
Jenny: [to Herself] We could be seeing an arrest in the making.More [06/26/2007 12:06:00]

Kenny Fisher: [thinking] All right this is it. It is finally time for Kenny Fisher to become... da man. Now I've done my laps, and all ten finalists are present and accounted for. Ten lovely ladies, yo. Each one at my disposal. Ten willing and able tour guides into the theme park of love. But who will it be? Which of you gorgeous ten will be the lucky one?More [07/08/2007 12:07:00]

Being on tour is like being in limbo. It’s like going from nowhere to nowhere.More [07/16/2007 12:07:00]

I remember finishing that book tour thinking, ‘Is there not one woman in this entire country who’s happy with herself and feeling good?’ That was a little depressing.More [07/23/2007 12:07:00]

If there are less tour events, [Woods, Mickelson and Co.] look better, percentage-wise, in tournaments played. They’re not going to play more because there are less eventsMore [07/26/2007 12:07:00]

People get excited about this tournament and I love playing close to home, … Nobody on tour would ever tell you anything differently. My father came today, my aunt, my uncle, my cousins are here. Great friends are here. It’s just awesomeMore [07/26/2007 12:07:00]

White House Tour Guide: And we're walking, and we're walking, and we're stoppingMore [08/19/2007 12:08:00]

Not playing well on the Champions Tour was disappointing to me.More [09/02/2007 12:09:00]

The course is absolutely perfect. It’s everything everybody said it was. I feel very comfortable out here after having some success on the Champions Tour late last year. It’s good to be competing against golfers your own age.More [09/02/2007 12:09:00]

Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Ya, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Ya, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.More [09/17/2007 12:09:00]

Hattie: Show us where Char showers!
Olive: I bet he showers naked!
[All girls on castle tour scream]More [10/10/2007 12:10:00]

Frank Bannister: Catch you later, Hiles.
Sergeant Hiles: Hey - my tour of duty runs another 85 years! There's a piece of dirt up here with your name on it, Bannister! I'm waitin' for you, you little maggot!More [12/02/2007 12:12:00]

When he called me, my stomach went wrench! … [I thought], Maybe Dave and I can buddy up and all of a sudden I’ll just get in a car at the end of the tour and drive down and see Eddie and Alex [Van Halen] and say, ‘OK, guys, off your asses, let’s go! We’re going out and doing this.’More [12/07/2007 12:12:00]

Will: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had a no problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.More [01/01/2008 12:01:00]

Max: But, Dad, I don't even know how to fish.
Goofy: That's never stopped me. I'm gonna show you a little secret that has been handed down for twelve or thirteen Goof generations: the Perfect Cast.
Max: The perfect what?
Goofy: The Perfect Cast. My dad taught it to me when I was your age, and now I pass it on to you. Watch carefully now. You gotta stay loose, relaxed. Keep your feet apart. Now, ten o'clock, two o'clock, quarter to three, tour jeté, twist, pas de deux, I'm a little teapot, then the windup... and let 'er fly! The Perfect Cast.More [01/03/2008 12:01:00]

[Dustin and Matt go on Jimmy's tour bus to put their demo tape on there]
Matt: I've been holdin' it for two days, dude. It's about to go downtown.
Dustin: That's a good idea; why don't you take a crap on his bus. He'd appcreciate that.
[Matt enters bathroom while Dustin changes tapes]
Dustin: [Matt starts to sing while he's pooping]
Dustin: Dude, let's go.
Matt: Whoa-ho! Dude, I might not get a piece of Jimmy Wilson, but he sure got a piece of me!
Dustin: Dude, that smells like hermit crap.More [01/15/2008 12:01:00]

Dustin: [seeing Jimmy Wilson's tour bus] Oh, black leather. That's just how Snoop would do it.More [01/15/2008 12:01:00]

Chubbs: Back in 1965, Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah? What happened?
Chubbs: They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Happy Gilmore: Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
Chubbs: Hell no! Damned alligator BIT my hand off!
[Shows Happy his wooden hand]
Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!
Chubbs: Yeah. tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just POPPED up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of the bastard's eyes out though. Look at that.
[Shows Happy a small glass jar with an eyeball in it]
Happy Gilmore: You're pretty sick, Chubbs.More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]

Chubbs: Golf's no different from Hockey. It requires talent and self discipline.
Happy Gilmore: Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbour the accountant, huge ass.
Chubbs: Hey, I'll bet your neighbour the accountant, can't drive the ball 400 yards. I'll bet your neighbour the accountant doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour!
Happy Gilmore: And how would I do that?
Chubbs: You win the Open tomorrow, and you're automatically on the Pro Tour. Then who knows, maybe you'll win the Tour Championship. Get that gold jacket that I never got.
Happy Gilmore: Gold jacket, Green jacket, who gives a shit.More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]

Shooter McGavin: [after Happy putts for Waterbury victory, sort of disappointed] Oh, he's gonna be on the tour that's... that's super.
[Happy does a funny victory "dance" with his caddy]
Shooter McGavin: That's... that's cute.More [02/03/2008 12:02:00]

Ben: We want to do a haunted swap tour.
Rev. Zombie: I don't do night tours anymore, I'm not allowed to. Not after what happened.
Marcus: Too bad. Let's go.
Ben: Wait, wait, what happened?
Rev. Zombie: Oh, you *dont* want to know.
Ben: [eagerly] I so want to know.
Rev. Zombie: I had a tour group, out in the swamp, last Halloween. It was the mist of night, and there was this kid, who looked kind of like you, he was spooked by something in the marsh. He saw two eyes staring at him from the woods, it chilled him to his very marrow. He wanted to get off the boat in a hurry, and he had his foot dangling over the edge. He...
Ben: He fell in?
Marcus: A gator got him?
Rev. Zombie: He slipped, hit his head, on the roof... and sued me for negligence! That cock sucker!More [02/11/2008 12:02:00]

Shawn: The tour is leaving right now, it's forty bones each.
Ben: Forty dollars?
Marcus: Can you spot me?
Ben: What, you don't have any cash?
Marcus: No, I'm just not paying for this bullshit.More [02/11/2008 12:02:00]

Shawn: [on a tour bus, over the PA system] Okay folks, I am your tour guide Shawn. Just sit back and get ready to enjoy some...
Marcus: [interrupting him] Ah, buddy, you don't need that thing. This is, like, the size of a Mini Cooper.
Shawn: [grumbles to himself in Chinese]More [02/11/2008 12:02:00]

Miranda: So, I was seeing this guy and he's a devil worshiper, right? Well, he's a hairdresser really, but he devil-worships on the side. And we booked this dumb tour because, you know, he likes ghosts, dead gerbils, that kind of thing... and he ran off with this Bhuddist monk! I mean, how I was supposed to know he was gay? So what about you, are you gay too?
Brother Tony: Uh, no, I'm not. I'm - I'm chaste!
Miranda: Just kidding! Trick question!More [03/13/2008 12:03:00]

[watching Gennaro jump out of the tour car and sprint to the porta-potty at the sight of the T-Rex]
Dr. Alan Grant: Well, where does he think he's going?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: When you gotta go, you gotta go.More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]

Dr. Ian Malcolm: [Ian Malcolm leans to face camera in electric tour car when the T-Rex doesn't appear] Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? yes?
[he taps the camera lens and breathes on it]
John Hammond: [John Hammond watches the camera feed with his hands on his face] I really hate that man.More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]

Tim: [after the tour car falls on them at the bottom of the tree] Well... we're back... in the car again.
Dr. Alan Grant: Well, as least you're out of the tree.More [05/17/2008 12:05:00]