services

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services

Too many church services start at eleven sharp and end at twelve dull.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
What men have called friendship is only a social arrangement, a mutual adjustment of interests, an interchange of services given and received; it is, in sum, simply a business from which those involved propose to derive a steady profit for their own self-love.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
The quality of your work, in the long run, is the deciding factor on how much your services are valued by the world.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Civil servants and priests, soldiers and ballet-dancers, schoolmasters and police constables, Greek museums and Gothic steeples, civil list and services list -- the common seed within which all these fabulous beings slumber in embryo is taxation.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Once you shape a company to service the marketplace and your services are necessary, the company develops a compulsion of its own to grow.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
I know of no great man except those who have rendered great services to the human race.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Blessed are they who heal us of self-despising. Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious.More [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
Cornelius Fudge: [just after Buckbeak's escape.] We must search the grounds!
Dumbledore: Search the *skies* if you must, Minister, but now I think I'll have a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, and executioner, your services are no longer required. Thank you.
Hagrid: You'll find no small glasses in *this* house.More [07/27/2005 12:07:00]
Gen. Mosquera: So you think you can secure for us the services of this man Lacrobat, Mister...?
Lacrobat: Nebucanezzar. Harrison Hindenburg Nebuxanezzar. Personal management of the world's leading international terrorists.More [02/08/2006 12:02:00]
As an actor we're just like workers in a factory, we provide our services to directors.More [04/18/2006 12:04:00]
I've been to a number of places and seen for myself the caliber of people who are in the Navy today - in all the services for that matter. This is an altogether different bunch. These people of today are really bright, young, good people.More [05/08/2006 12:05:00]
I don't see a ton of use for it. With all the high-speed wireless services out there now, it will be tough for it to fit in.More [06/20/2006 12:06:00]
[If these new IT security products work as advertised, they could be a big hit, analysts say.] There's a strong market for managed security services providers who can stay on top of the technology and threats that are changing daily, ... Getting a service provider to relieve that burden from the IT staff has a lot of value for enterprises.More [10/31/2006 12:10:00]
I'd like to provide information, inspiration, and access to whatever goods and services are needed to make it super easy for everyone to change their lifestyle to a sustainable one.More [12/12/2006 12:12:00]
Queen Victoria: In recognition of your many and varied services to the crown, I dub thee...
[the sword descends too fast]
Queen Victoria: Oh. We are frightfully sorry, Sir Robert.More [05/20/2007 12:05:00]
Now were seeing services and applications. This has been one of the promises the Internet has offered for a long time the consumer can really be the programmer.More [08/16/2007 12:08:00]
We have always had a long-term commitment to China and even more so to the development of its Internet industry, Were confident that Yahoo! is putting its resources behind the right management team, which operates according to similar values as we do, and shares the same vision for providing the most essential and relevant services to consumers and businesses.More [08/16/2007 12:08:00]
Dr. Allison Reed: Dr. Kane, you were a top-level researcher at USAMRIID until 1997, is that correct?
Ira Kane: Yes.
Dr. Allison Reed: Until you were dismissed in June. Can you tell us why that was?
Ira Kane: My services were no longer required?
Dr. Allison Reed: So, in your opinion, your dismissal had nothing to do with an experimental anthrax vaccine that you developed and distributed to over 40,000 U.S. soldiers in May of that year?
Ira Kane: [leans in] I see where you're going with this.
[louder]
Ira Kane: It may have been a factor, you'd have to ask the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Dr. Allison Reed: I'll make a note to do that. But in the meantime, could you tell us what happened to the soldiers who were inoculated with your vaccine?
Ira Kane: Well, uh, none of them got anthrax, if that's what you're asking.
[fakes some chuckles]
Dr. Allison Reed: What did they get?
Ira Kane: Well, as with any new vaccine, there were certain side effects...
Dr. Allison Reed: Could you be more specific?
Ira Kane: Well, it was a wide range of things, it's very technical, I'd hate to waste the court's time...
Dr. Allison Reed: Humor me.
Ira Kane: Some debilitating stomach cramps... severe diarrhea... memory loss.
Dr. Allison Reed: Go on. Any more symptoms?
Ira Kane: [Harry is looking mortified and shocked at the defense table] Partial facial paralysis, temporary blindness, drooling, bleeding gums, erectile dysfunction, uncontrollable flatulence. I think that's it.
Dr. Allison Reed: One more question. Do you recall what the soldiers called this illness?
Ira Kane: Yeah, they called it "The Kane Madness."More [10/22/2007 12:10:00]
Detective Fowler: I don't understand, though. How does such an amazing lady turn out four all around fuck-ups?
Lt. Green: Evelyn Mercer worked for Detroit Social Services and helped take hundreds of kids out of foster homes and find them permanent placement - and in 30 years, she came across only four delinquents so far gone she couldn't find anyone to take them in. So she did. Believe me, man, those kids are congressmen compared to what they would have been without her.More [11/22/2007 12:11:00]
Nelson Rockefeller: Señor Rivera, I must ask you one last time to reconsider your position.
Diego Rivera: I will not compromise my vision.
Nelson Rockefeller: In that case, this is your fee, paid in full, as agreed, but your services are no longer required.
Diego Rivera: It's my painting!
Nelson Rockefeller: On my wall.
Diego Rivera: It's the people's wall, you bastard!More [11/30/2007 12:11:00]
It is our clear view that a cyberthreat can disrupt the provision of services and disrupt our society, disable our society even more so than can a well-placed bomb,More [12/03/2007 12:12:00]
The [Armed] services will implement these guidelines, these directives, in 45 days, Investigations of sexual misconduct will be undertaken in anMore [12/03/2007 12:12:00]
Louis Tully: So the 7 little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation. And one day a beautiful princess came to live with them. And they bartered housekeeping services for room and board, which was a really good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold social security or income tax or nothin', which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purpose of the story, I think it's okay.More [12/18/2007 12:12:00]
Kay Adams: Michael, you never told me you knew Johnny Fontane!
Michael: Sure, you want to meet him?
Kay Adams: Well, yeah! Sure.
Michael: My father helped him with his career.
Kay Adams: How did he do that?
Michael: ...Let's listen to the song
Kay Adams: [after listening to Johnny for a while] Tell me, Michael. Please.
Michael: ...Well when Johnny was first starting out, he was signed to a personal services contract with this big-band leader. And as his career got better and better he wanted to get out of it. But the band leader wouldn't let him. Now, Johnny is my father's godson. So my father went to see this bandleader and offered him $10,000 to let Johnny go, but the bandleader said no. So the next day, my father went back, only this time with Luca Brasi. Within an hour, he had a signed release for a certified check of $1000.
Kay Adams: How did he do that?
Michael: My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
Kay Adams: What was that?
Michael: Luca Brasi held a gun to the bandleader's head, and my father assured him that either his signature or his brains would be on the release.
Kay Adams: ...
Michael: ...That's a true story.
[cut to Johnny singing again for about 10 more seconds before going back to Michael]
Michael: That's my family Kay, that's not me.More [12/26/2007 12:12:00]
Many people still regard many users of public services as undeserving.More [03/02/2008 12:03:00]
Heston Services Clerk: Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?
Nicholas Angel: No... This is something I have to do myself.More [03/28/2008 12:03:00]
Prince Ahmed Bin Khaled: Four FBI agents will be allowed to land at Prince Sultan Air Base this evening. General Abdulmalik, Chief of Investigative Services for the National Guard, has been put in charge of solving this crime.
Colonel Faris Al Ghazi: Your Highness. I know General Abdulmalik. I attend his interrogation of one of my men. The General does not have investigative experience.
Prince Ahmed Bin Khaled: The attackers wore police uniforms. Your uniforms. Some of your men may have been involved with this cell. May still be involved. Al Ghazi, consider yourself lucky even to have a role at all. The Americans are our guests for five days. Take extremely good care of them and I want them to leave as safe as they arrived. Understood?
Colonel Faris Al Ghazi: Yes, Your Highness.More [06/04/2008 12:06:00]
Baby: You want me to come with you? It's my day off.
Earl: No, Baby, I don't intend on killing anyone today so your services won't be needed.More [08/08/2008 12:08:00]
Konstantin Hierl:
[Reich Labor Service Corp/Reicharbeitdienst chief presents his men to Hitler] My Führer! I report 52,000 Labor Services men for review.



Adolf Hitler:
Hail, my Labor Service men!



Reich Labor Service Men:
[All 52,000 men, in thundering unison] Hail, my Führer!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Black Michael:
There may come a time, Hentzau, when your services no longer excuse your impertinance.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[last lines]


[Coates gives Jim his business card]



Coates, Stage Driver:
Got another line 'sides drivin' folks. Glad to be a service to ya anytime.



Jim Lawrence:
Goodbye, Mr. Motley



Lawyer Eric Motley:
Goodbye, Jim! Goodbye, Elanita!


[Jim reads Coates' business card which advertises his services as a Justice of the Peace - weddings five dollars or one heifer]



Elanita Toreno:
Well, I'd like to see it too, please!


[Elanita reads the card and then tries to tear it up]



Jim Lawrence:
Now wait a minute. You never can tell, we might meet up with someone who's crazy enough to get married sometime.



Elanita Toreno:
Crazy? Well, that's a fine thing to say!



Jim Lawrence:
As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to get a little dizzy myself.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Undertaker Hawkins:
Good afternoon, gentlemen. Am I wrong or are my services required?



Bret Ivers:
You get around fast, don't you?



Undertaker Hawkins:
In my profession, it pays to keep one's ear attuned to the bark of a six-gun.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ingeborg:
Here's your mail, here's your Wall Street Journal, and here's my resignation.



C.R. MacNamara:
Resignation? What are you talking about?



Ingeborg:
You do not work me overtime anymore, you do not take advantage of me on weekends, you have lost all interest in the... umlaut. So obviously, my services are no longer required here.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Hymie Kelly:
[narrating] Frankie found himself married, but, uh, he still couldn't change his feelings about women. So his only avenue was escape. He employed the slimy services of the Hymie Kelly broad-procuring agency. I was running out of numbers! He used 'em like Kleenex! Once, and threw 'em away!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Thair Beta:
I'm lucky Maya asked you to come. I was going to get in touch with you to arrange a meeting.



Dr. Neil Connery:
Oh, of course, the returning game. I had no idea you were so interested in archery.



Thair Beta:
Oh, I'm not. It's your services as a plastic surgeon I'm interested in.



Dr. Neil Connery:
Why? Would you like to have your features changed?



Thair Beta:
Me? Oh, no. I'm quite satisfied with my face. And, with my nose, also.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Radio Announcer:
Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens due to the crisis that is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hook-up to keep you informed of all developments. At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages and cities, in rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern nor reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden general explosion of mass homicide. We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary-looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters. At this point, there's no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against. Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour. Police and sheriff's deputies and emergency ambulances are literally deluded with calls for help. The scene can be best described as mayhem. The mayors of Pittsburg, Philadelphia, and Miami, along with the governments of several eastern and midwestern states indicated that the National Guard may be mobilized at any moment, but that has not happened as yet. The main advice news reporters have been able to get from official sources is to tell private citizens to stay inside their homes behind locked doors. Do not venture outside for any reason until the nature of this crisis has been determined, and until we can advise what course of action to take. Keep listening to radio and TV for special instructions as this crisis develops further. Thousands of office and factory workers are being urged to stay at their places of employment, not to make any attempt to get to their homes. However, in spite of this urging and warning, streets and highways are packed with frantic people trying to reach their families or, apparently, to flee just anywhere. We repeat, the safest course of action at this time is simply to stay where you are. Ladies and gentlemen, we've just received word that the President has called a meeting of his Cabinet to deal with the sudden epidemic of murder that has seized the eastern third of this nation. The meeting is scheduled to convene within the hour. Members of the Presidential Cabinet will be joined by officials of the FBI and military advisors. White House spokesmen are saying there will be an official announcement immediately following that meeting. This is the latest dispatch just received in our news room. The latest word also - this is from nation press services in Washington, D.C. - tells us that the emergency Presidential conference which we just mentioned will include high-ranking scientists from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. So far, the best advice they are able to give the public is this quote from Chief T. K. Dunbar from Camden, North Carolina, who is quoted as saying, "Tell the people for God's sake to get off the streets! Tell them to go home and lock their windows and doors up tight! We don't know what kind of murder-happy characters we have here!" Chief Dunbar's words were worn out in grisly fashion just hours ago near the small, normally peaceful town of Willard, Pennsylvania, where the driver of a tanker truck was mobbed by a cluster of apparently would-be assassins oblivious to all concerns for their own safety and blindly intent on attacking the driver. The tanker trunk went out of control and plowed into the gas pumps at a well-known eatery and truck stop known as Beakman's. The truck and gas pumps caught on fire and exploded, apparently maiming and killing gas station and restaurant employees, together with a dozen or more patrons, motorists, and pedestrians. Several bodies were found mangled and mutilated. Many others appear to have been carried off by the attackers. Eyewitness accounts described the assassins as ordinary-looking people, misshapen monsters, people who look like they're in a trance, and creatures that look like people but behave like animals. Some tell of seeing victims that looked as if they had been torn apart. This whole ghastly story began developing two days ago, and from that point on, these terrible events kept on snowballing in a reign of terror that has not abated. Military personel and law enforcement agencies have been working hard in an attempt to gain some kind of control of this situation, but most of their efforts have been marginally futile up to this particular time.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Colonel Blake:
Football game?



Gen. Hammond:
Yeah, yeah, we put up a few bets, five thousand maybe, and have a little fun. Special services in Tokyo says it's one of the best gimmicks we've got to keep the American way of life going here in Asia.



Colonel Blake:
Betting?



Gen. Hammond:
No, football.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Bill Haydon:
I still believe the secret services are the only real expression of a nation's character.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
These are garments, Mr. Cratchit. Garments were invented by the human race as a protection against the cold. Once purchased, they may be used indefinitely for the purpose for which they are intended. Coal burns. Coal is momentary and coal is costly. There will be no more coal burned in this office today, is that quite clear, Mr. Cratchit?



Bob Cratchit:
Yes, Sir.



Ebenezer Scrooge:
Now please get back to work before I am forced to conclude that your services here are no longer required.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mike Nelson:
So a scientist gets his information from a minimum wage park services guy?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the Simpsons' drywall collapses and Maggie crawls out of it]



Homer:
[in baby talk] Maggie. That's where you were, honey. You were hiding in the drywall, yes you were. Daddy's sure happy Social Services didn't see this, yes he is.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Jill is auctioning off the services of Tim and Bob Vila to raise money for the library. Vila went for $700]



Jill:
I bid $300 for the Tool Man.



Al:
You can't bid! You're the auctioneer!



Jill:
It's my auction and I'll bid if I want to.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mailman:
Hello, Mr Cat. You're looking healthy today.



Ren:
[Wearing a Stimpy disguise] Shut up! Duh! I don't want any more of your flithy letters. Your services are no longer welcomed here, and - Duh! - tell those stupid kids to stop writing fan letters for me, Stimpson J. Cat. Duh!



Mailman:
Whatever you say, Mr. Cat. Actually, I only have one letter today. It's for Mr. Hoek. I guess I'll have to throw it out.



Ren:
Give me that!


[Takes letter and closes door]



Ren:
Letter for me! Letter for me! Nothing for Stimpy!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Don Salvatore Faranzano:
[supposedly, Lucky offers his services to Faranzano as a mole against Don Masseria] I hope you can appreciate some facts, Charlie. Conditions have changed. Some people have gotten too powerful... I want you to take care of Don Masseria personally, do it yourself. That's not all, though. Lansky and Siegel. I know you've always gotten along, but Jews, they're different. You cross 'em once, fight with 'em once, and they're gone. I know this. I've heard they're a different race... Jews. You and I take Communion. They don't even believe in sin. They'll betray you, just like they betrayed Jesus H. Christ Himself. You join my family, they die. No one will even know you approved.



Lucky:
Looks like I don't have a choice, do I? Either I agree to kill my friends, or you kill me.



Don Salvatore Faranzano:
That's right.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Dr. Michaela 'Mike' Quinn:
Why can't you accept me for what I am?



Elizabeth Quinn:
And what are you? You're an unmarried woman, trying to raise three children, in a shack, in the middle of nowhere... and offering your medical services to a bunch of back-woodsman, who pay you in potatoes and in chickens.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Duckman:
Heck, I got suits pending against me from three different dating services and the teen chatline.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Jon Stewart:
"Weapons of mass destruction-related program activities?" What the (bleep) does that mean? What is that, craft services for the scientists?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Samantha Bee:
But really let's face it, all other days bow down to the 25th: Christmas. It's the only religious holiday that's also a Federal holiday. That way Christians can go to their services and everyone else can stay home and reflect on the true meaning of Separation of Church and State.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Isaac Dexter:
Actually, I offer a very valuable service. You'd be surprised how many cab drivers won't pick up a man in a dress.



Jarod:
Really? Why?



Isaac Dexter:
The truth is, I'd like to offer my services as your personal chauffeur.



Jarod:
No kidding! That's great! Now, you're sure you have a driver's license?



Isaac Dexter:
Don't worry, boss. You're in good hands. And I promise to be the perfect lady.



Man, off camera:
Hey, baby!



Isaac Dexter:
Up yours, pal!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[first lines]



General Hummel:
Congressman Weaver and esteemed members of the Special Armed Services Committee, I come before you to protest a grave injustice... It has to stop.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[voice over]



Lorenzo:
Young protesters spoke about how they'd change our lives and fix the world. But while they shouted their slogans, my friends and I went to the funeral services of the young men of Hell's Kitchen who came back from Vietnam in body bags.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Roland Tembo:
Peter, if you want me to run your little camping trip, there are two conditions: first, I'm in charge, and when I'm not around, Dieter is. All you have to do is sign the checks, tell us we're doing a good job, and open your case of scotch when we have a good day. Second condition: my fee? You can keep it. All I want in return for my services is the right to hunt one of the tyrannosaurs. A male, a buck only. How and when is my business. Now if you don't like either of those conditions, you're on your own. So go ahead, set up base camp right here, or in a swamp, or in the middle of a Rex nest for all I care. But I've been on too many safaris with rich dentists to listen to any more suicidal ideas, OK?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Nelson Rockefeller:
Señor Rivera, I must ask you one last time to reconsider your position.



Diego Rivera:
I will not compromise my vision.



Nelson Rockefeller:
In that case, this is your fee, paid in full, as agreed, but your services are no longer required.



Diego Rivera:
It's my painting!



Nelson Rockefeller:
On my wall.



Diego Rivera:
It's the people's wall, you bastard!

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Colonel Robert Moore:
Do you think I'm involved in this?



Warrant Officer Paul Brenner, C.I.D.:
One way or another, yes.



Colonel Robert Moore:
Then wouldn't it behoove me to retain the services of an attorney? I know a good one.



Warrant Officer Paul Brenner, C.I.D.:
Two problems there. First the obvious: there are no good ones. Second, you're not a civilian, Colonel, you're in the army. You have no rights to an attorney. You have no right to remain silent. And if you don't cooperate I may have to put you in jail and that would make me feel really bad.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Security Guard:
Mr Rivera, Mr Rockefeller has told us to give you your comission check. Your services are no longer required.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Seymour, the stage manager, fills in Lely's part during a rehearsal]



Mr. Seymour, Production Manager:
[reading from the script, over-acting] Oh, but it's too late! I'm a dead man, and I'm off for my honeymoon.


[Barrington falls about laughing]



George Grossmith:
Uncanny, is it not?



Gilbert:
Mr. Seymour, please inform Mr. Lely that his services will no longer be required.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Faher Halligan:
[after Damon is acquitted for George's murder, Gwen is asked to resign from teaching at her Catholic grammar-school] ... Gwen, you know all of us have been moved by your courage during this trying time in your life. Last night, the Board of Directors decided to reward you with a sabatical, so that you could have time to heal properly.



Gwen Saticoy:
I thought the summer vacation would do that.



Faher Halligan:
In my experience, a trial such as the one you've been through can take a long while to heal.



Gwen Saticoy:
So this "healing period" would overlap next year's school calendar?



Faher Halligan:
Well, much as that would be a disappointment to us all, we're willing to sacrifice your tremendous services for the sake of your well-being.



Gwen Saticoy:
[realizes that, in effect, she's being fired] Not to mention the sake of St. Augustine's coffers. What happened, Father Halligan? Did the contributors threaten to cancel those big checks if I'm still teaching their kids?



Faher Halligan:
What the contributors did or didn't do is entirely beside the point.



Gwen Saticoy:
On the contrary, I believe it entirely IS the point.



Faher Halligan:
I TOLD them what a fine teacher you are, and how lucky the school is to have you. In the end, there was nothing else I could do.



Gwen Saticoy:
Wasn't there?

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Linda Greenlaw:
[at the services for the crew of the Andrea Gail] I knew Billy Tyne, but I did not know his crew very well, but any man who sailed with him, must have been the better for it. Rober Shatford, Dale Murphy, Micheal Moran, David Sullivan, Alfred Pierre... May you rest easy long-liners, in fair winds, and calm seas... For those of us left behind, the vast unmarked grave which is home for those lost at sea is no consolation. It can't be visited, there is no headstone on which to rest a bunch of flowers... The only place we can revisit them, is in our hearts, or in our dreams. They say swordboatmen suffer from a lack of dreams, that's what begets their courage... Well we'll dream for you: Billy, and Bobby, and Murph, Bugsy, Sully, and Alfred Pierre... Sleep well... Good Night...

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Riley shows Opal her birth certificate]



Opal Marie Brown:
Where did you get this?



Riley Veatch:
My boyfriend hacked into the Social Services Agency's computer system and downloaded my file.



Opal Marie Brown:
Then your boyfriend committed a felony.



Riley Veatch:
Actually two, by the time I got done thanking him.

More [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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