Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000]

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Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000]

Tulio:
I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death.


[Grabs tiny dagger, looks at it]



Tulio:
But not with that.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
You fight like my sister!



Tulio:
I've fought your sister. That's a compliment.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
Tulio! Tulio, we've done it!



Tulio:
Is that the map?



Miguel:
It's all right here!



Tulio:
You *still* have the *map*?



Miguel:
The whistling rock! The stream!



Tulio:
You kept the map but you couldn't manage to grab a little more FOOD?



Miguel:
Even those mountains! You said it youself, it could be possible, and it is! It really *is* the map to El Dorado!


[pause]



Tulio:
You drank the sea water, didn't you?

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Miguel and Tulio are stranded in the boat, together with Altivo]



Miguel:
Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?



Tulio:
The horse is a surprise...



Miguel:
Any... regrets?



Tulio:
You mean besides dying? Yeah. I never... had enough... gold.



Miguel:
My regret, besides dying is... our greatest adventure is over before it began, and no one will even remember us.



Tulio:
Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel, you... made my life... an adventure.



Miguel:
And if it's any consolation, Tulio, you made my life... rich.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
Oh, come on!



Tulio:
I'm not coming on!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
Altivo! Hey, Altivo! You want the nice apple? Come and get it! But, you have to do a trick for me first! All you have to do, is find a pry bar. It's a long piece of metal with a hooky thing at the end.



Tulio:
Miguel, you're talking to a horse!



Miguel:
Yes, that's it Altivo. Find the pry bar!



Tulio:
Yes, "find the pry bar". He doesn't understand "pry bar"! He's a dumb horse, there's no way he could understand...


[Altivo drops keys into the brig]



Tulio:
Well... it's *not* a pry bar.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Tzekel-Kan is about to perform a human sacrifice]



Tulio:
[in an undertone to Miguel] I don't like this.



Miguel:
Tulio, we've got to do something!


[Tzekel-Kan raises his axe]



Tulio:
Stop! This is not a proper tribute!


[Miguel catches the intended victim and drags him away from the cliff edge]



Tzekel-Kan:
[confused] You do not want the tribute?



Miguel:
No no, we want tribute, it's just that, um... Tulio, tell him.



Tulio:
The stars are not in position for this tribute!



Miguel:
Like he said! Stars!... Can't do it... Not today.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Miguel, he's a ruthless war-horse, not a poodle!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Come on, baby! Papa needs that crappy map!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
What's happening here?



Miguel:
We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
Look! El Dorado! The city of gold! This could be our destiny! Our fate!



Tulio:
Miguel, if I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Do you mind?



Chel:
No.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tuilo:
All right. Here's the plan. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... one of those longboats... and then, we... row back to Spain like there's no mañana!



Miguel:
[pauses] Back to Spain, yeah?



Tuilo:
Yeah.



Miguel:
[uncertainly] In... a rowboat.



Tuilo:
Yeah!



Miguel:
[sarcastically] Great. Sensational. That's your plan, is it?



Tuilo:
That's... pretty much it, yeah.



Miguel:
[delighted] Well, I like it! So, how do we get on deck?



Tuilo:
[pauses, deep breath] In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... longboats...

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Tulio is banging his head against the wall in the brig]



Miguel:
So how's the, uh... how's the escape plan coming?


[Tulio stops banging his head]



Tulio:
Wait! I'm getting something!


[pauses, then goes back to banging his head on the wall]

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Holy Ship!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
We'll follow that trail!



Tulio:
What trail?



Miguel:
[chopping at vines with sword] The trail that we blaze!


[the vines fall down revealing a solid wall of rock; long pause]



Miguel:
[pointing] THAT trail that we blaze...

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
I am Miguel.



Tulio:
And I am Tulio.


[They dismount, Miguel's foot gets tangled in the reins]



Miguel:
And they call us Miguel and Tulio!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tzekel-Kan:
I know what you are, and I know what you are not. And you are *not* Gods!



Tulio:
You're not a God? You lied to me? How dare you!



Miguel:
[to Tzekel-Kan] Hey, it was *his* stupid plan!



Tulio:
*My* plan was that we should *lie low*! But *your* plan was to run off! And be all, "Oh, look at me, look at me, I'm a God!"



Miguel:
That's not true!



Tulio:
No? Who are you kidding? You're buying your own con!



Miguel:
At least I'm not *dating* mine!



Tulio:
I...! Oo, low blow. Listen, mister high-and-mighty, we'd both be sailing out of here with a mountain of gold if you had *just listened* to me!



Miguel:
Well, now you have all the precious gold *and* Chel! So what do you need *me* for?


[pushes Tulio]



Tulio:
[pushing back] Well, maybe I *don't* need you anymore!



Miguel:
Fine! So why don't you just *go* back to Spain, and I'll stay here, and we'll *both* get what *we* want!



Tulio:
That's fine with me, pal!



Miguel:
*Fine* with me too!



Tulio:
Fine!



Tulio, Miguel:
All RIGHT!


[they both punch Tzekel-kan]

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miguel:
Tulio, you worry too much.



Tulio:
No, I worry exactly the right amount. You can never worry too much!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[after seeing a skeleton on the beach]



Tulio:
All in favor of getting back in the boat, say aye.



Miguel:
Aye!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
[sighs] Well, it was nice working with you, partner.



Miguel:
Tulio, I just want you to know... I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Chel:
Oh, then I suppose you'll be wanting these back?


[produces dice in her hand]



Tulio:
[pats pockets, shocked] Hey... how'd you get those?



Miguel:
[raising eyebrows] WHERE was she KEEPING them?

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Miguel, you know that little voice people have that tells them to quit when they're ahead? You don't have one!

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for... GREAT... BIG... ROCK!


[echo]

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Tulio:
Miguel wake up. We found it!



Miguel:
We did? Where?



Tulio:
Here.



Miguel:
What, behind the rock?



Tulio:
Nope, here.



Miguel:
But, but... *give* me that!


[snatches the map from Tulio's hands]



Miguel:
I... this... can't be...



Tulio:
Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for... GREAT... BIG... ROCK!


[echo: Rock... rock... rock... ]



Tulio:
But I'll tell you what: I'm feeling generous today, so *you* can have *my* share!



Miguel:
You don't think that... that Cortes could've gotten here before us and... and...



Tulio:
And what? Taken all the *really* big rocks? The SCOUNDREL!



Miguel:
Tulio! We... we've got to think about this, I... I mean we come all this way and...



Tulio:
Get... on... the horse!


[Miguel sighs and makes a pitiful face]



Tulio:
No, no, no, not with the face. Stop.

More Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] Movie: The Road to El Dorado [2000] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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