Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998]

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Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998]

Donny:
Phone's ringing, Dude.



The Dude:
Thank you, Donny.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Maude Lebowski:
What do you do for recreation?



The Dude:
Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude]



Sherry in 'Logjammin':
[on video] You must be here to fix the cable.



Maude Lebowski:
Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.



The Dude:
He fixes the cable?



Maude Lebowski:
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!



Donny:
What do you need that for, Dude?

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Walter Sobchak:
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.



The Dude:
Yeah, but Walter...



Walter Sobchak:
Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Walter Sobchak:
I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!



Donny:
What's Shabbos?



Walter Sobchak:
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit


[shouts]



Walter Sobchak:
don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos!



The Dude:
Walter...



Walter Sobchak:
Shomer fucking shabbos.



The Dude:
Oh fuck it. I'm out of here.



Walter Sobchak:
Dude, come on...


[rolls his eyes at Donny]



Walter Sobchak:
BABY...


[Donny nods]

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Walter Sobchak:
I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...



The Dude:
Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.



Walter Sobchak:
What the fuck are you talkin' about?



The Dude:
Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic...



Walter Sobchak:
What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!



The Dude:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...



Walter Sobchak:
And you know this!



The Dude:
Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.



Walter Sobchak:
So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?



The Dude:
It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.



Walter Sobchak:
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax...


[shouting]



Walter Sobchak:
You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Walter Sobchak:
[shouted repeatedly while smashing a car with a crow bar]


[shouts]



Walter Sobchak:
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Also, my rug was stolen.



Younger Cop:
The rug was in the car?



The Dude:
No. It was here.



Younger Cop:
[eager] Oh, separate incidents.



Maude Lebowski:
[on answering machine] Jeffrey, this is Maude Lebowski. I need to see you. I'm the one who took your rug.



Younger Cop:
Well. I guess we can close the file on that one.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
These are, uh...



Brandt:
Oh, those are Mr Lebowski's children, so to speak.



The Dude:
Different mothers, huh?



Brandt:
No.



The Dude:
Racially he's pretty cool?



Brandt:
[laughs] They're not literally his children. They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers - inner city children of promise but without the necessary means for a - necessary means for a higher education. So Mr Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Blond Treehorn Thug:
[holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?



The Dude:
Obviously you're not a golfer.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?



Walter Sobchak:
Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.



Donny:
What the fuck is he talking about?



The Dude:
My rug.



Walter Sobchak:
Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!



The Dude:
Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?



Walter Sobchak:
What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.



The Dude:
Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy...



Walter Sobchak:
What the fuck are you...?



The Dude:
Walter, he peed on my rug!



Donny:
He peed on the Dude's rug.



Walter Sobchak:
Donny you're out of your element! Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here!

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Walter Sobchak:
Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Look, just stay away from my fucking lady friend.



Da Fino:
Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady.



The Dude:
She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[the Dude, Walter, and Donny walk out of the bowling alley, to find the three Nihilists waiting in front of the Dude's car, which has been torched]



The Dude:
Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.



Nihilist:
Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.



Nihilist #2:
Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.



Nihilist #3:
Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.



The Dude:
You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!


[the Nihilists, stunned, confer amongst themselves in German]



Donny:
Are these the Nazis, Walter?



Walter Sobchak:
No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.



Nihilist:
Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.



Walter Sobchak:
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.



The Dude:
Hey, cool it Walter.



Walter Sobchak:
No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.



Nihilist #2:
His girlfriend gave up her toe!



Nihilist #3:
She though we'd be getting million dollars!



Nihilist #2:
Iss not fair!



Walter Sobchak:
Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?



The Dude:
Hey, cool it Walter. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man.



Walter Sobchak:
And, I would like my undies back.


[Stunned, the Germans confer amongst themselves again]



Donny:
Are they gonna hurt us, Walter?



Walter Sobchak:
No, Donny. These men are cowards.



Nihilist:
Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.



Walter Sobchak:
Fuck you.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Where's the fucking money Lebowski?

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
[repeated line by The Dude and others] That rug really tied the room together.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Who the fuck are the Knutsens?

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man.



Walter Sobchak:
Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong?



Smokey:
Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8.



Walter Sobchak:
[pulls out a gun] Smokey, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.



The Dude:
Walter...



Walter Sobchak:
You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.



Smokey:
I'm not...



Walter Sobchak:
A world of pain.



Smokey:
Dude, he's your partner...



Walter Sobchak:
[shouting] Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!



The Dude:
They're calling the cops, put the piece away.



Walter Sobchak:
Mark it zero!


[points gun in Smokey's face]



The Dude:
Walter...



Walter Sobchak:
[shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero!



Smokey:
All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?



Walter Sobchak:
...It's a league game, Smokey.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[when making the payoff]



The Dude:
Dude.



Nihilist:
[on the phone] Who is this?



The Dude:
Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?



Nihilist:
Us?



The Dude:
[to Walter] Shit!


[to Nihilist]



The Dude:
Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time.



Nihilist:
Shut the fuck up.



Walter Sobchak:
Dude, are you fucking this up?



Nihilist:
Who the fuck is that?



The Dude:
That is the driver.


[Nihilist hangs up]



The Dude:
Shit! Walter, you fuck... you fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands, man!



Walter Sobchak:
Nothing is fucked here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Big Lebowski:
They did not receive the money, you nitwit! They did not receive the money! Her life was in your hands!



Brandt:
This is our concern, Dude.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[repeated line]



Walter Sobchak:
Shut the fuck up, Donny.

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
The Dude:
It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...



Donny:
I am the walrus.



The Dude:
You know what I'm trying to say...



Donny:
I am the walrus.



Walter Sobchak:
That fucking bitch...



The Dude:
Oh yeah!



Donny:
I am the walrus.



Walter Sobchak:
Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!



Donny:
What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?

More Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] Movie: The Big Lebowski [1998] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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