[Arriving on Earth after overhearing some NASA astronauts]



General Zod:
So this is planet Houston.

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Lex Luthor:
[to Zod and Company, at the half-wrecked White House] ... Hi! Lex Luthor.


[no reaction from the Super Villains]



Lex Luthor:
LEX LUTHOR! Possibly you've heard the name? the Greatest Criminal Mind on Earth!



Ursa:
I told you this was a puny planet.


[moves menacingly towards Luthor]



Lex Luthor:
Whoa whoa whoa wait... why don't you get to know me better?


[Ursa continues moving towards Luthor]



Lex Luthor:
WAIT! I can give you anything! The... the... the... the Brass Ring, unlimited freedom to maim and kill! PLUS! Lex Luthor's keen mind, Lex Luthor's savvy, Lex Luthor's school of career guidance...


[Ursa begins crushing his hand]



General Zod:
We already have this without you. You cannot bargain with what you don't have.



Lex Luthor:
[sucking on his thumb to numb the pain] Oh Great One, what I am bargaining with is what YOU do not have: The Son of Jor-El.



General Zod:
The Son of Jor-El?



Lex Luthor:
[confused] I just said that.



General Zod:
Jor-El? Our jailer?



Lex Luthor:
[sarcastically] No, Jor-El the BASEBALL PLAYER...


[Ursa and Non start moving menacingly towards Luthor]



Lex Luthor:
Yes, Jor-El your jailer.



General Zod:
The Son of Jor-El! On this planet!



Lex Luthor:
Perhaps you know him better by his nom de voyage, or the name he travels under: Superman.



General Zod:
So THIS is Superman! How do you know of Jor-El?



Lex Luthor:
Well, Your Excellency, as I explained earlier: I'm about the best there is.



General Zod:
Revenge! We will kill the son of our jailer!



Ursa:
Revenge!



Lex Luthor:
REVENGE! Now we're cooking!



General Zod:
He flies then?



Lex Luthor:
Constantly.



General Zod:
He has powers as we do?



Lex Luthor:
Certainly. But, oh Magnificent One, he is one, while you are three.


[Non growls]



Lex Luthor:
Or four, if you count him twice!



General Zod:
Come! We will bring him to his knees!



Ursa:
Praying!



General Zod:
Yes, to ME!



Lex Luthor:
Wait!


[the Super Villains turn to face Luthor]



Lex Luthor:
First you must find him... and Lex Baby is the only one who knows where he is...

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General Zod:
No! Who else is seeing this?



Reporter:
Well, with the satellite link up just about everybody, I mean the whole planet.



General Zod:
The whole planet Houston?



Reporter:
Earth... The whole planet Earth.



General Zod:
[pleased] You may continue.



Reporter:
As the extraordinary story continues...



Ursa:
[petulantly to Zod] Enough of this! If the whole planet is watching, can we not show them something more interesting?



Army Major:
Throw down your arms and surrender. This is an order!



Ursa:
General Zod does not take orders. He gives them.

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Ursa:
You are master of all you survey.



General Zod:
[bored] So I was yesterday. And the day before.

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President:
[on T.V] This is your President. On behalf of my country and in the name of the other leaders of the world with whom I have today consulted, I hereby abdicate all authority and control over this planet to General Zod. Only by following all his directives will the lives of millions be spared...


[desperately]



President:
Superman! Can you hear me? Superman! Where are you...



General Zod:
Who is this Superman?



President:
You'll find out and when you do-...



General Zod:
Come to me, Superman! I defy you! Come and kneel before Zod! Zod!

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

General Zod:
[looking at the Presidential Seal on the floor of the Oval Office] I see you are practiced in worshiping things that fly. Good. Now, rise before Zod.


[the "President" stands up]



General Zod:
Kneel before Zod.


[the "President" kneels]



General Zod:
You are not the President. No one who leads so many could possibly kneel so quickly.



President:
[appears from behind the other men] I'm the man they're protecting. I'm the President. I'll kneel before you, if it will save lives.



General Zod:
It will, starting with your own.



Ursa:
[walking towards a group of military men] What a backwards planet this must be, where the men wear the ribbons... and the jewelry!


[rips the ribbons off a general's uniform]



President:
What I do now, I do for the sake of the people of Earth. But there is one man on this planet who will NEVER kneel before you.



General Zod:
Who is this imbecile? Where is he?



President:
I wish I knew.


[kneels]



President:
Oh God.



General Zod:
Zod!

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Ursa:
[after using heat vision on a snake] Did you see that? Did you see what I did? I have powers beyond reason here!



General Zod:
We all have them, my dear.

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General Zod:
I win. I always win. Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me?

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Lex Luthor:
He is but one, while you are three!


[Non growls menacingly]



Lex Luthor:
Four, if you count him twice.

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

[Clark Kent has been beaten in a fistfight after losing his superpowers]



Clark Kent:
Looks like from now on you'll have to have a bodyguard with you.



Lois Lane:
I don't want a bodyguard. I want the man I fell in love with.



Clark Kent:
I know, Lois. I wish he was here.

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Lex Luthor:
Superman! Thank God!


[sees Zod glaring at him]



Lex Luthor:
I mean, get him!

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Sheriff:
Dwayne, you've gotta learn to kick ass if you wanna be a peacemaker.

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Lex Luthor:
Kill me? Lex Luthor? Extinguish the greatest criminal flame of our age? Eradicate the only man on Earth with... Superman's address?



General Zod:
What more do you want? I can see the greed written on your face.



Lex Luthor:
How about Cuba?



General Zod:
[thinking it over] Fair enough.


[to his fellow Villains]



General Zod:
Come. The three of us will CRUSH the Son of our Jailer!

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

General Zod:
[referring to Superman's home] Scruffy. Morbid. A sentimental replica of a planet long since vanished. No style at all!



General Zod:
I expect better manners from my guests, Zod.



Lois Lane:
Superman, this wasn't my idea...!



General Zod:
Accept your destiny, Kal-El. As your father once condemned us, so now do we condemn his misbegotten brat!

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Ursa:
Come forward. Your General wishes to speak.



General Zod:
I am General Zod. Your ruler. Yes, today begins a new order. Your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words you will be allowed to live.


[rips a Generals stars from his shoulder]



General Zod:
So you are a General? And who is your superior?



General:
I answer only to the President.



General Zod:
And he will answer to me! Or all of his cities will end up like this one.

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Ursa:
[watching an Army helicopter] Look. They need machines to fly.



General Zod:
What bravery. Be nice to them, my dear. Blow them a kiss.

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Clark Kent:
General, would you care to step outside?



General Zod:
Come to me, son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Man in crowd 1:
He's dead. Superman is dead! He's not coming out.



Man in crowd 2:
They've killed Superman! What are we gonna do now?



Man in crowd 3:
Let's go get 'em ourselves! C'mon, I know some judo.

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Lois Lane:
I'm gonna' be fine. Don't worry about me.



Clark Kent:
I like worrying about you.

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Clark Kent:
I've never seen garbage eat garbage before.

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Lex Luthor:
Why didn't you go before we left?



Eve Teschmacher:
That was two days ago.

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General Zod:
Crude noisemaker.

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

General Zod:
This "super-man" is nothing of the kind; I've discovered his weakness.



Ursa:
Yes?



General Zod:
He cares. He actually cares for these Earth people.



Ursa:
Like pets?



General Zod:
I suppose.



Ursa:
Sentimental idiot!

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Otis:
How're we gonna get over that wall?



Lex Luthor:
How'd we get in here?



Otis:
We flew in, doncha remember?



Lex Luthor:
That's how we're gonna get out.

More Movie: Superman II [1980] Movie: Superman II [1980] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

Lex Luthor:
[to Superman] Guy's a clod. Promises were made, gifts exchanged. I gotta hand it to you, you know. You always told the truth, a guy always knew where he stood with you.

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