Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969]

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Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969]

Rumson:
You show me in them commandments where it says a woman cain't have two husbands.



Pardner:
There AIN'T no commandment like that.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
Grace, I give you the boy. Give me back the man.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
Now, don't tell me you've never been with a woman.



Horton:
No, sir I haven't.



Ben Rumson:
Well, that, that's terrible! Did you know you could go blind?

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mrs. Fenty:
You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.



Ben Rumson:
I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.



Mrs. Fenty:
Didn't that discourage you about drinking?



Ben Rumson:
No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'!

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
There's two kinds of people, them goin' somewhere and them goin' nowhere. And that's what's true.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Horace Tabor:
Wait a minute! You can't buy a woman for money.



Mad Jack Duncan:
You just try and get one without it.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mad Jack Duncan:
All right.


[grabs Jacob Woodling by the beard]



Mad Jack Duncan:
What about it Mormons?



Sarah Woodling:
[whispering] Jacob. We need every penny, Jacob. And I can't bear another day of those martyred looks. There. There it is again!



Elizabeth:
This isn't a martyred look, Sarah. This look is puuuure - hatred.



Jacob Woodling:
Quiet! Brigham Young has twenty seven wives and he hasn't had half the trouble with them that I've had with the two of you!



Elizabeth:
Then simplify your life, Jacob. Sell me.



Jacob Woodling:
But Elizabeth: you don't know what you'll get.



Elizabeth:
I know what I've had.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Haywood Holbrook:
Dearly beloved. We have gathered together to grant this man, Ben Rumson, exclusive title to this woman, Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling, and to all her mineral resources. I have drawn up this Record of Claim which here and henceforth will be recognized as a certificate of marriage. So I ask you Ben, do you recognize this claim as a contract of marriage and do you take this woman to love honor and cherish?



Pardner:
[after long silence] Oh, he does.



Haywood Holbrook:
Elizabeth Woodling, do you take this man, Ben Rumson, to love, honor and obey him until death do you part.



Pardner:
She does.



Haywood Holbrook:
I now pronounce you claimed and filed as Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Miner:
Hey, Ben! These men came all the way from Fiddler's Camp, just to see your wife.



Ben Rumson:
Well, looks like I married myself a tourist attraction.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pardner:
Ben, how's married life?



Ben Rumson:
Pardner, it was so good that I forgot that I was married.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Horace Tabor:
Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson, that we knock out the stage driver, steal a coach, and kidnap six women?



Ben Rumson:
Sounds better every time I hear it.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
Howdy Parson, welcome to HELL!

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Ben and Partner are walking through the mining camp]



Ben Rumson:
Hi, Willy! How're things goin'?



'Rotten Luck'Willie:
I ain't won a hand in two weeks.



Ben Rumson:
(to Partner) They call him 'Rotten Luck' Willie. You couldn't beat him with five aces.



Pardner:
Oh, I don't gamble.



Ben Rumson:
Neither does he.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[On the fact that the Mormon settler has two wives]



Mad Jack:
I got no quarrel with 'ow a man prays; there's enough room in 'ell for all of us! Wot I don't like is that you got two of somethin' the rest of us got none of!

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Introduction to the song "They Call the Wind Mariah"]



Mad Jack Duncan:
It's a living hell up here. What with the bloody rain, the bloody loneliness, and that bloody, bloody wind.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pardner:
You're diggin' a hole.



Mad Jack:
Hey, you don't miss a trick, do yah?

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Horton:
Mr. Rumson, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. I hope that means except my father and mother.



Ben Rumson:
That means especially your father and mother.



Horton:
But I've never kept anything from them before.



Ben Rumson:
Well, it's time you started. Because when you do, a whole new world opens up.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Elizabeth:
Did you know that the Fenty's had an apple farm back in Pennsylvania?



Ben Rumson:
Apple jack, huh?



Mr. Fenty:
No, sir, we did not make apple jack!



Ben Rumson:
Then, what did you grow the apples for?



Mr. Fenty:
Mr. Rumson, do you think that everything that comes out of the earth should be used to make liquor?



Ben Rumson:
Whenever possible, yes.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[shouted from clifftop to riverbed and back, very slowly]



Steve Bull:
IS... THEY... DEAD...?



Ben Rumson:
THEY... BETTER... BE... CAUSE... I'M... GONNA... BURY 'EM!

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Parson:
Ye godless jaspers! Who are ya? Freemasons? Rosicrucians? Heathen emissaries from the depths of Babylon? Boozers! Gluttons! Gamblers! Fornicators!



Steve Bull:
Whassa fornicator?



Haywood Holbrook:
I dunno. I ain't a religious man.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[Partner has decided to remain behind with the settlers]



Ben Rumson:
You say something nice to her for me, Par... What the hell is your name anyway?



Partner:
It's Sylvester Newel. Yeah, just one 'l'.



Ben Rumson:
Sylvester Newel. Well, that's a good name for a farmer.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben:
You was down at the rapids just now, bare beam and buck naked?



Elizabeth:
Well, I'm not like to take a bath with my clothes on, Mr. Rumson.



Ben:
Are you trying to tell me that you was taking a *bath*?



Elizabeth:
That's right. I was taking a bath.



Ben:
In the middle of the night?



Elizabeth:
Mr. Rumson, in a community of 400 men, would you rather I took my bath "bare beam and buck naked" in the middle of the day?

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
Pardner, there comes a time when the party of the first part has no recourse but to knock some sense into the party of the second part! You're stayin'!

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Chorus:
[the hijacked stage coach carrying six prostitutes is approaching No Name City. The completely male population is scrubbing up in the creek and singing] There's a coach comin' in and you're smellin' like a steer.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ben Rumson:
You mean to tell me you ain't never had a woman neither?



Horton:
No, sir.



Ben Rumson:
This is serious. You know you could go blind? Come here.


[to 'Rotten Luck' Willie]



Ben Rumson:
Willie, if a young man was goin' trappin' for the first time and wanted a guide, somebody who would be patient with him and show him the way things are to be done; what kind of guide would you choose?



'Rotten Luck'Willie:
[Thinking] Ah, that would be Gracie.

More Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] Movie: Paint Your Wagon [1969] [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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