Jacob Appel

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Jacob Appel

Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke....More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Depression and hopelessness are not the only reasons terminally ill patients wish to end their lives. Many individuals see nothing undignified about choosing to end their lives at the time and manner of their choosing - and many view such a choice as the meaningful culmination of a good life.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I would prefer to believe that a market in fetal organs would empower women to use their reproductive capabilities to their own economic advantage.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Victory [over homophobia] may require five or maybe 20 years. Yet I have no doubt that "don't ask, don't tell" and same-sex adoption bans will be as unspeakable and inexplicable to my grandchildren as counting a slave as three-fifths of a human being.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Much as we do not permit convicted pedophiles to teach kindergarten or convicted hijackers to board airplanes, common sense dictates that individuals who have been imprisoned for plotting violence against abortion clinics should never again be permitted anywhere near such facilities.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square--but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The cold, cruel reality is that with one current justice now approaching ninety, and four others over seventy, the day will inevitably arrive when a sitting justice lies in an intensive care unit, both unable to resign and unable to resume his or her duties.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Much as constitutional guarantees of press freedom do little good for prospective publishers if they do not have access to paper or ink, the right to aid in dying is strikingly useless if nobody is willing to help.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the taxpayers or society as a whole to pay for such machinery.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Money spent on vegetative patients is money not spent on preventive care, such as flu shots and mammograms. Each night in an ICU bed for such patients is a night that another patient with a genuine prognosis for recovery is denied such high-end care. Every dollar exhausted on patients who will never wake up again is a dollar not devoted to finding a cure for cancer.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
While the visible victims may draw the headlines and attract indignant protests from so-called "pro-life" organizations, the invisible victims are people like you and me who will suffer from diseases that are never cured because funds are being poured down a healthcare sieve in order to maintain permanently-unconscious bodies on complex and costly forms of life support.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I suspect that the vast majority of people, not knowing in advance whether they will either end up in a permanently vegetative state or be diagnosed with cancer, would prefer that any resources that would be spent on PVS care be reallocated to cancer research--or some similar enterprise that has the potential to help human beings who might actually recover.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I can handle being married for my money; it's being married for my life insurance that gives me pause....More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Even a poor tour guide is entitled to some happiness.More Jacob Appel [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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Quotes of the month

Eugene Ryabyi Beauty has the name of a loved person; for a child, beauty is a mother, and for a man, beauty is a beloved woman. [10/12/2020 05:10:52] More


Eugene Ryabyi When the wallet is empty, even an unhappy life is not affordable. [10/11/2020 10:10:37] More


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