Tim Allen

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Tim Allen

Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.More Tim Allen [09/02/2005 12:09:00]
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:13]
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:21]
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:28]
Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:35]
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:42]
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.More Tim Allen [07/13/2011 05:07:04]
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car.More Tim Allen [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.More Tim Allen [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.More Tim Allen [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it because it's a moment that will stick with me forever.More Tim Allen [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.More Tim Allen [03/12/2018 02:03:32]
no class at Wilson has more than 22 students at this time.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The first-quarter numbers were as advertised. The longer-term story for Microsoft hasn't changed. Estimates beyond the second quarter haven't changed.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There are flaws in the way politics is reported in this country today and we should do something about it, ... Radio and television coverage of politics doesn't see its role as a mission to explain, but to destroy, in a pernicious culture in which journalists pit themselves against politicians.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We have a great team here. And we've received tremendous support from parents. We're really trying to bring this whole thing together to have a successful transition.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
As far as trucking in snow, we don't have the money.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenanceMore Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress.More Tim Allen [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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