Butters: Will I eventually get to South Park if I follow this road?
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Dat road leads to Conifer. You want ta go to South Park you gotta go down dat road.
[scary road, lighting, ominous music]
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Course I ain't never seen anyone go up that road. Six years ago a group of campers went out dere and got lost, had to eat each other to stay alive. Used to be da way to da O'Reilly house, he butchered over 50 children and kept der bodies in his cellar. But you should find an old bridge 'bout half way up. Dat bridge is cursed, ya know. Dey built it with the bones of 200 Chinese laborers who were massacred in '34. Ya, a lot of history on dat road.
Butters: Well, it's my parents' anniversary tomorrow, and they're gonna be awful sad if I'm not there with them.
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: Well, good luck den.
[Butters walks away]
Butters: Oh, jeez.
Hick Gas Station Mechanic: ...or is South Park down dat road? Cartoons; South park  Cartoons; South park  quotes
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