Jimmy Kimmel, everyone. He's fat and has no charisma. Watch your back, Danny Aiello.
It's so good to be here. Drew Carey is here and I love him. He was so nice to me backstage, until he found out I wasn't a hooker.
You know I can't believe Alan King is such a legend, and he's here, and a nursing home in Florida just called. The last person who thinks you're funny just died. Is he laughing?
Dick Gregory. Oh my gosh, he deserves a round of applause just for being so old for his race. You know, is he the guy from the rice or the cookies? I never remember, but I know he's famous.
But this is about Hugh Hefner - a living legend, and, uh, look at your girlfriends - so beautiful. When are you going get serious? You know one day you might want one of them changing diapers. I mean if it gets too hard to do it yourself. Look at the smile on his face. He doesn't know where he is.
Hugh M. Hefner:
But he's happy...
Let's all talk about the whore- - the bunnies. No, bunnies aren't whores. They're paid monthly.
I think they should be role models in today's society, and I'm serious, especially for girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes. They deserve the Purple Heart for that. The Purple Asshole. I don't have the guts to do it. The closest I've ever come to waxing my asshole is once I got it washed and styled, but that doesn't hurt. Minus the curlers. Thank you! Happy birthday, Hef!
Movie: Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Cl Movie: Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Cl quotes
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