M. J. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Through a catalogue!!More Other / Misc Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Cheese Spread Why did Michael Jackson cover his body in cheese spread?
Because kids will do anything for the taste of Dairylee.More Gross Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Michael Jackson What do Michael Jackson and plastic bags have in common?
They are both made out of plastic and are dangerous for children to play with.More Children Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Michael Jackson Why is Michael Jackson dating twenty-eight year olds?
The answer is:
Because there's twenty of them!
(twenty eight year olds....)More Other / Misc Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Addicted To Caffiene? You Know You're Addicted to Caffeine When...
1.) You haven't slept since the Clinton Administration.
2.) Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of your chattering teeth.
3.) Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on Vivarin.
4.) You plan to name your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso."
5.) On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't even have your car.
6.) You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee to decaffeinated Folgers.
7.) You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love of God, I need Pepsi!"
8.) When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
9.) You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears.
10.) You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night.
11.) You think sleep is for the weak.
12.) You've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend."
13.) You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
14.) You know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.
15.) You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
16.) You can name five flavors of JOLT.
17.) You have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.
18.) You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
19.) You think Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
20.) You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
21.) You have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA."
22.) Your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
23.) You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
24.) Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
25.) You've used an airplane's call button just to get a coffee refill.
26.) You've knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.
27.) Your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
28.) You have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.
29.) The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
30.) You see nothing wrong with using water joe (caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
31.) You believe that sleep is simply a poor substitute for coffee.
32.) It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20 oz. cup of coffee.
33.) You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
34.) You'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.
35.) You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.
36.) You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.
37.) You dip espresso beans.
38.) You actually get these jokes and tell them to other friends who are addicted to caffeine.More Other / Misc Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
12 Year Old's Pocket According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch moneyMore Children Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Mirror Your momma so white and ugly Michael Jackson took one glance and thought he was looking into a mirror!More Yo Momma Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Ohhh Your Momma is So Ugly Cause.... Yo Mama So Ugly...
she put the Boogie man outta business.
she make Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt
when she wobbles down the street in September, folk say, "Damn it, can't believe it's Halloween already..."
when she applied for the ugly contest they told her 'NO Professionals'
she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure!
minutes after she was born her Mother shouted 'What a treasure!" and her Poppa said, "Yes, now let's go and bury her..."
they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.
when they took her to the Beautician it took 10 hours....and that was just for the quote!
your Daddy takes her to work each day so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye...
she put Marilyn Manson out of business.
she was a guard at Snake Mountain
they knew what time she was born cuz her face stopped the clock...
even Harry Knowles refused to date her.
they embalmed her face on a box of super-strength laxatives and sold it empty!
she gets 364 extra days just to dress up for Halloween.
Tony Blair moved Halloween to her birthday.
your papa throws the ugly stick and she goes fetches it every time.
she scared the stitching outta Frankenstein.
we had to tie a steak round her neck so the dogs would play with her.
I heard your Father first met her at the Zoo.
her shadow gave up.
people at the Zoo pay cash so they DON't have to see her...
her mom had to be pissed drunk just to breast feed her.
when born, the doctors had to fit her incubator with tinted windows.
hotel managers use her picture to keep away the rats.
instead of round the ankles, they put the Bungee Jumping cord round her neck.
they gave her a middle name...'accident'.
she fell out of the Ugly Tree, hitting every branch on the way down.
when she walked into the Haunted House, she came back out with a Job Application!
even Slicky Willy Clinton refused to sleep with her...
when she was born the Doc smacked her face.
Your mamma's so Ugly that she's got her very own Crazy Pranks & Hilarious Gags named after her...More Yo Momma Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Michael Jackson What do PSP's and Michael Jackson have in common?
The both get turned on by little boys!!!More Gross Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Michael Jackson Did u here Michael Jackson is sick?
He had a 10 year old penis!!!More Gross Michael Jackson [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Alienation is a passion for intellectual property. [09/03/2019 07:09:17] More
Something once is not enough to be. (Anatoly Yurkin) [09/14/2019 05:09:03] More
Alienation is a convenient mirror image of all the resources of society. (Anatoly Yurkin) [09/18/2019 02:09:45] More
The local stumbling block is the building material for migrants. (Anatoly Yurkin) [09/15/2019 01:09:31] More
Decentralization is a balance of opposites. [09/06/2019 04:09:41] More