Bill Clinton

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Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton

42nd President of the United States (1993-2001), 'first black president'
Q: How does Bill Clinton say "I'm about to

hurt you"?
A: "Trust me."More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: What is the difference
between Dan
Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton
and
tells him, "Bill, I had a
wonderful dream last night. I could see
America, the whole beautiful
country, and on each house I saw a
banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.

Saddam
replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."

Clinton says, "You know,
Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last
night
I had a
similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more
beautiful than
ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house
flew an
enormous banner."

"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam
asks.

Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How can
you tell Bill Clinton apart from
a cow?
A: By the wise look in the eyes.More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited

to have dinner with God. During dinner he told them: I need three

important people to send my message out to all the people: "Tomorrow
I will
destroy the earth."

Yeltsin immediately called
together his cabinet and told them: "I have
two really bad news items for
you:
1) God really exists and
2) Tomorrow He will destroy the
earth."

Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and
Congress and told
them: "I have good news and bad news:
1) The GOOD
news is that God really does exist
2) The BAD news is, tomorrow He is
going to destroy the earth."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft
and very happily announced: "I have
two fantastic
announcements:
1) I am one of the three most important people on earth
2) The Year
2000 problem is solved."More Computer jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Michael Jackson, Bill Clinton and Nelson

Mandela are in an airplane with
20 kids. The airplane gets a failure
and is doomed to crash. The plane
has
only 20 parachutes. Nelson
Mandela, as a great humanitarian says that
children should have
them. Bill Clinton gets panicky and shouts,
"SCREW
THE CHILDREN!!"
Michael Jackson's face lights up and he shouts,
"YES,
YES!!
But do we have enough time?"More Aviation jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch

of dead bodies?
A: He's the stiff one.More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to

change a lightbulb?
A: Two--One to promise he'll do it better than
anyone else and one to
obscure the issues.More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to
change
a lightbulb?
A: None--He'll only promise "change."More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How many Bill Clintons
does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel
your pain", and gets
congress to pass a billion dollar light
security bill, and blames
Republicans and special interests for not
making lightbulbs free.More Clinton jokes Bill Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]

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