Hillary Clinton

« Page 1 from 21, showing 1 - 10 from 207 »

Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton

First Lady of the United States (1993-2001)
Q: What's the difference between Hillary
Clinton
and a pit bull?
A: The pit bull doesn't carry a
briefcase.More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Bill Clinton,
Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al
Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air
Force 1 on their way to
visit the Communists to share their success
stories about taxing
Americans.

Bill: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out
the window and
make someone very happy."

Hillary: "Well, why
don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the
window and make
ten people happy."

Al: "Why don't you two jump out the window
and make me and Tipper
happy."

Tipper: "Why don't we all jump
out the window and make everybody
throughout the United States and
world happy."More Aviation jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q:
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton
meet?
A: They were dating the same girl in high school.More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: If Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Al

Gore, and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized, who would be

saved?
A: The United States of America!More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: What kind of neckwear
does Hillary
Clinton look best in?
A: A noose.More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one

class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a

"tragedy".

One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next
door was playing in the street when a car came
along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton
says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."



A girl raises her
hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff,
killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid
not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a
GREAT
LOSS."



The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.




"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who
can give me an
example of a tragedy?"



Finally, a boy
in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an
airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a
bomb, T
HAT would be tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous!
And can you tell me WHY that
would be a tragedy?"

"Well,"
says the boy, "because it couldn't be an accident, and it
certainly
would be no great loss!"More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Q: How many Hillary Clintons
does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: One--she just holds the bulb and the
world revolves around her.More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
Hillary Clinton goes to
her doctor for a
physical, only to find out
that she's pregnant! She is furious. Here
just became the senator of
New York and this has happened to her.
She gets Bill on the phone and
immediately starts screaming: "How
could you have let this happen?
With all that's going on right now,
you go and get me pregnant! How
could you??!!! I can't believe this!
I just found out I am five weeks
pregnant and it is all your
fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what have
you got to say???"
There is
nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams
again, "Did you hear
me??!!" Finally she hears Bill's very, very
quiet voice. In a
barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is
this?"More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first
meet?

They were both dating the same girl in high school.More Clinton jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]
An aircraft is about to crash. There are

five passengers on board, but unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The
first
passenger says, "I'm Shaquille O'Neill, the best NBA
basketball
player. The Lakers need me, it would be unfair to them if I
died." So he
takes the first parachute and jumps.

The second
passenger, Hillary Clinton, says, "I am the wife of the
former
President of the United States. I am also the most dedicated woman
in the
world, a Senator in New York and America's potential future

President". She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.

The third
passenger, George W. Bush, says, "I am the President of the
United States
of America. I have a huge responsibility in world
politics. And
apart from that, I am the most intelligent President in the
history of
the country and I have a responsibility to my people not to
die."
So he takes a parachute and jumps.

The fourth passenger, th
e Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten year
old schoolboy, "I
am already old. I have already lived my life, as a
good person and
a priest I will give you the last parachute".

The boy replies
"No problem your Pope-ness, there is also a parachute
for you.
America's most intelligent President has taken my
schoolbag."More Political jokes Hillary Clinton [01/01/2018 12:01:01]

« Page 1 from 21, showing 1 - 10 from 207 »

Quotes of the month

Anatoly Yurkin Inactivity robs people on everyday mistakes. [05/24/2019 12:05:30] More


Eugeny Antonuk Money shows what kind of person it is, situations and moments show what life was all about. [05/06/2019 06:05:12] More


Eugene Ryabyi Sadomasochism is love for thick skin. [04/29/2019 04:04:00] More


Eugeny Antonuk The aphorism is intended to motivate, but the authors behind the aphorisms do not see the author's thoughts, and notice only their own. "For the trees do not see the forest." [05/06/2019 07:05:37] More


Eugeny Antonuk As opposed to happiness, slavery is a lack of free time. [05/06/2019 03:05:26] More