Tim Allen

Tim Allen
More Jokes about Tim Allen, comedian
One dark night in hell, the Devil, bent upon his ultimate revenge, determined to become a computer programmer.

Secretly he pored over main pages, Microsoft press releases, and hex dumps of the renowned SATAN program, until, satisfied that he was master of the unclean craft, he began to work his mischief.

Lounging near the back gate to heaven, he remarked to Jesus that there were some things the Devil could do better than God. Perl programming, for instance.

The Savior, knowing something was afoot, but unwilling to let the slight go unchallenged, suggested a programming contest to last from sunrise to sunset, to see who could solve the halting problem in the fewest lines of Perl code, with God Almighty as the judge.

Sparks flew from the keyboard, and a sublime glow emanated from the monitor of the Prince of Darkness and the Prince of Peace, respectively, until five minutes before sunset, when a bolt of lightning flashed and the computers went dead.

A few minutes later God arrived and asked for the results. The Devil fumed and complained bitterly, as he had lost the whole day's work.

Jesus fared considerably better and won the contest because, as everyone knows, Jesus saves.
[01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Author Unknown “Repetition is the mother of competence.” Tony Robbins [12/01/2019 02:12:49] More


Anatoly Yurkin The subject establishes a one-to-one correspondence between alienation and property as two nonempty sets. [11/21/2019 12:11:20] More


Author Unknown Some people are so afraid of making mistakes that they never do anything new. Brian Tracy [12/11/2019 01:12:25] More


Anatoly Yurkin Alienation is the dramatic unity of thought and property. (Anatoly Yurkin) [11/27/2019 02:11:28] More


Anatoly Yurkin Alienation connects property. (Anatoly Yurkin) [11/20/2019 06:11:44] More