Quote: How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? [Woody Allen]
Quote: His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. [Woody Allen]
Quote: How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? [Woody Allen]
Quote: I am at two with nature. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. [Woody Allen]
Quote: I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. [Woody Allen]
Quote: If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. [Woody Allen]
Quote: It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. [Woody Allen]
Quote: More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. [Woody Allen]
Quote: My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. [Woody Allen]
Quote: On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. [Woody Allen]
Quote: I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. [Woody Allen]
Quote: On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down. [Woody Allen]
Quote: What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. [Woody Allen]
Quote: More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. [Woody Allen]
Quote: I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. [Woody Allen]
Quote: Marriage is the death of hope. [Woody Allen]
Quote: I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. [Woody Allen]