Quote: Hansel: Excuse me, bra.
Derek Zoolander: You're excused, and I'm not your bra! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Hansel: Deal with that! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: (Announcer): ...for the past four years, male modeling has been dominated by five yllables: Der-ek Zoo-land-er. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Maury Ballstein: What do we do when we fall off the horse?
Derek Zoolander: [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently] ... fall off the horse...
Maury Ballstein: [looking to supply finish] ... we... get back on the horse!
Derek Zoolander: Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: I'm so tired. No Todd, not now!
Todd: [handing Mugatu the phone] It's Maury.
Mugatu: [to Maury] Tell me something good. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Matilda: [to Katinka] By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's. On sale! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Hansel: Yeah, you're cool to hide here, but first me and him got to straighten some shit out.
Derek Zoolander: Fine.
Hansel: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Derek Zoolander: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?
Hansel: Well, you go first. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your weiner hanging out for everyone to see? [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: God?
Maury Ballstein: God? What the shit are you talkin' about. It's me, Maury. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek: Oh, Snap! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: [pointing to the small-scale model of centre] The centre has to be at least... three times bigger than this! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: Look, I think I know what this is about and I'm complimented but not interested.
Matilda: What?
Derek Zoolander: I can't sleep with you OK? My head is killing me...
Matilda: What are you talking about?
Derek Zoolander: OK, if you just want to fool around or...
Matilda: WAIT! I don't want to sleep with you! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: You mean, you haven't . . .
Matilda: Done it in a while, yeh.
Hansel: Now, what's a while? Like, eight days? [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Hansel: I hear words like "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity that I don't buy into. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: I invented the piano key neck tie! I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: You have no evidence. Han-stupid destroyed everything. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Mugatu: The man only has one look for christsakes! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: Oh, I thought you were going to tell me what a bad eugoogalizor I am.
Matilda: What?
Derek Zoolander: A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was? [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: J.P. Prewitt: I'm a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys... we're a different breed. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: J.P. Prewitt: The truth is male models have been assassinating world leaders for over 200 years. Abe Lincoln wanted to abolish slavery, right? Well, who do you think made the silk stockings and powdered wigs worn by our early leaders?
Derek Zoolander: Mugatu!
J.P. Prewitt: [pauses] Slaves, Derek. So they hired John Wilkes Booth to do Mr. Lincoln in. The first model/actor! Dallas. 1963. John F. Kennedy.
Matilda: Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a male model.
J.P. Prewitt: You're goddamn right he wasn't, but the two lookers who capped Kennedy from the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were! [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]
Quote: Derek Zoolander: You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't. [Movie: Zoolander [2001] Movie: Zoolander [2001]]