Quote: Joan K.: [explaining Xander's head-bob] It means: "Here I am! I'm displaying. I'm happy. I'm not happy." It can mean all those things. [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]
Quote: Joan K.: Is this cool or what? [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]
Quote: Joan K.: It's been said that iguanas carry salmonella. Yeah, really. Now, it's my contention that Xander does not have it because I've been scratched, and you get it sort of like chickens do if you're not clean, you know, if you're handling their feces - which I do! All the time, you know! [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]
Quote: Joan K.: I only like vegetarian lizards in terms of what I want to own as a pet owner because I like to get very physical with my animals, and I can't see kissing an animal whose got a mouse tail hanging out of its mouth - I'm not a vegetarian, but when they eat fruits and vegetables I feel more like I can kiss them and love them and hold them. [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]
Quote: Joan K.: [as Xander licks her] What kind of mommy am I? I'm a tease, huh? Am I a tease? Yes! You wanna give me another kiss? Yes! Thank you! [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]
Quote: Joan K.: Now what other iguana mommy do you know that cleans the butt of their iguana? [Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004] Movie: Xander and Mother Joan [2004]]