Ted Turner

Ted Turner

American businessman, founder of the clock news channel «CNN»
I'm hard of hearing. I miss a lot. It's really tough.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
All my life people have said that I wasn't going to make it.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Christians are losers.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I know what I'm having 'em put on my tombstone: 'I have nothing more to say'.More Ted Turner quotes [07/19/2011 03:07:56]
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.More Ted Turner quotes [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
This is from a script for an upcoming animated series I'm working on. Keep in mind that Chris is 19 years-old.

Setting-Turner household
Characters-Chris, Johnathan, and Evan (wearing maids uniform)
(Chris walks into the living room with his backpack on. Johnathan is eating breakfast, and Evan is mopping the kitchen floor.)
Johnathan: Hey Chris are you ready for school?
Chris: I sure am Johnathan.
Evan: Hey Chris
Chris: Hey Evan
Johnathan: Come on eat some breakfast. I made you pancakes.
Chris: I want eggs.
Johnathan: You don't like eggs.
Chris: Yeah I do.
Johnathan: No, you say you like eggs. But then when I give them to you, you throw a fit and say they're nasty.
Chris: I promise I won't.
Johnathan: Alright fine then. (Puts eggs on Chris' plate)
Chris: (Smacks the plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-Screen) Oh my god aaaah! There's pepper in my eye!
Johnathan: What the hell!?
Chris: You forgot the cheese.
Johnathan: Yeah well you're not getting anymore breakfast.
Chris: But I'm hungry.
Johnathan: Fine, but I'm giving you pancakes. (Puts pancakes on Chris' plate)
Chris: Thank you. (Smacks plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-screen) Ah, Dammit! There's syrup in my wounds!
Johnathan: What was that for!?
Chris: I wanted the Mickey Mouse pancakes.
Johnathan: (Facepalm)More Lightbulb Jokes about Ted Turner [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
A small, skinny white guy got onto an elevator.

Just as the doors were closing, a huge, black dude walked on and stood next to him.

The big black guy looked down at the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 4 pound right ball, Turner Brown."

The small guy fainted!!

The giant black dude picked up the little white guy and brought him around, by slapping his face and shaking him.

When the man finally came to, he asked the small white guy, "What's wrong?"

Our petite friend said, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"

The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 4 pound left ball, 4 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown".

The white guy sighed, "Oh, thank God! I thought you said, 'Turn around!'"



More Jokes about Ted Turner [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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