Jesus Christ would have been considered just another long-haired hippie freak if he hadn't been crucified. The folks weren't impressed with healing the sick, feeding the multitudes bread and fish or anything else, except maybe the walking on water. But when he got crucified, that gave him his big start.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you panic that's a good way to lose. You have to stay in control.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Over a three year period, I gave away half of what I had. To be honest, my hands shook as I signed it away. I knew I was taking myself out of the race to be the richest man in the world.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Be sure to set your goals so high that you can't possibly accomplish them in one lifetime. That way you'll always have something ahead of you. I made the mistake of setting my goals too low, and now I'm having a hard time coming up with new ones.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The U.N. had such lofty goals to eliminate poverty and stop war and cure diseases and help refugees - things that no one country could do.More Ted Turner quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
This is from a script for an upcoming animated series I'm working on. Keep in mind that Chris is 19 years-old.
Characters-Chris, Johnathan, and Evan (wearing maids uniform)
(Chris walks into the living room with his backpack on. Johnathan is eating breakfast, and Evan is mopping the kitchen floor.)
Johnathan: Hey Chris are you ready for school?
Chris: I sure am Johnathan.
Evan: Hey Chris
Chris: Hey Evan
Johnathan: Come on eat some breakfast. I made you pancakes.
Chris: I want eggs.
Johnathan: You don't like eggs.
Chris: Yeah I do.
Johnathan: No, you say you like eggs. But then when I give them to you, you throw a fit and say they're nasty.
Chris: I promise I won't.
Johnathan: Alright fine then. (Puts eggs on Chris' plate)
Chris: (Smacks the plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-Screen) Oh my god aaaah! There's pepper in my eye!
Johnathan: What the hell!?
Chris: You forgot the cheese.
Johnathan: Yeah well you're not getting anymore breakfast.
Chris: But I'm hungry.
Johnathan: Fine, but I'm giving you pancakes. (Puts pancakes on Chris' plate)
Chris: Thank you. (Smacks plate off-screen)
Evan: (Off-screen) Ah, Dammit! There's syrup in my wounds!
Johnathan: What was that for!?
Chris: I wanted the Mickey Mouse pancakes.
Johnathan: (Facepalm)More Lightbulb Jokes about Ted Turner [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
He's so excited, he's never been outside of Nebraska. He gets to La Guardia, and immediately tells a cabbie to take him to the Empire State Building (as he's always wanted to see it in real life). So they pull up to and he goes inside and gets on the elevator to the top of the building. He goes up several floors and the elevator stops and a giant of a man gets on. The Nebraska man isn't quite sure how he should act around New Yorkers, and being as this guy is so big, he decides he should start a nice conversation with him.
"Excuse me sir, just how big are you?"
New Yorker, "Well, I'm 6'8" tall, I weigh 325lbs, I have a 14" dick and my name is Turner Brown."
The Nebraska man faints. The big New Yorker helps him up, and slaps him around until he wakes up, "Wha-what happened?"
"Well, you asked me how big I was and I told you I was 6'8", weigh 325lbs, have a 14" dick and my name is Turner Brown."
The Nebraska man says, "Sweet Jesus, Thank God. I thought you said 'turn around'."More Jokes about Ted Turner [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
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