George Bush

George Bush

American politician, a Republican, 43rd U.S. President
Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction.More George Bush quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We will be changing the regime of Iraq for the good of the iraqi people.More George Bush quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain. Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them.More George Bush quotes [07/10/2011 03:07:02]
The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.More George Bush quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purposes nor to make a great show in the world, nor a name. There is but one just use of power and it is to serve people.More George Bush quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
During the 2000 Campaign, George W. Bush promised a leaner and more cost-efficient military. "I'm pleased to report," the President spoke, "that we have downed the most
sophisticated Chinese fighter without spending two million dollars on an air-to-air missile."

President Bush's "Don't Ask, Just Give 'em Hell" policy is a sharp departure from former President Clinton's focus on moving the Pentagon to San Francisco and painting Navy
battleships a bright lavender.

The President was particularly pleased that it was a 50's era propeller driven plane that took out the Chinese aircraft. "Heck, we bought and paid for that sucker fifty years ago. It didn't cost the American taxpayer a single dime to take out that commie."

Bush was also pleased his "Ram The Bastard" policy for Navy submarines was a rousing success. "Just think of all of the torpedoes we can save money on!" The President seemed only momentarily flustered when asked if the Navy should, perhaps, target enemies of the United States instead of friendly countries like Japan. "Didn't Japan sink a bunch of our battleships in World War I or II? I'll ask Poppy."

The President wants to get the Army involved next by sending tanks into Canada. "Moscow's in Canada, right?"More Political Jokes about George Bush [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Q: What is the President Bush's new fitness program to get people walking again?
A: GAS at $3/gallon

Q: When visiting India what did George W think upon seeing a woman with a red dot on her forehead?
A: Holy Shit!!!! She must've been hunting with Cheney

Q: Whats the best birthday gift you can give to George W?
A: An Exit Strategy from Iraq

Q: Why is George Bush giving tax cuts like Jim Jones giving Kool-Aid?
A: It tastes good but it'll kill you.

Q: What would happen if George W Bush had selected the court in 1954?
A: Clarence Thomas would have never got to law school."

Q: Why did the Iraqi women shave there fannies?
A: To send a message out "No more Bush"

Q: George W. Bush is now under treatment for what two problems?
A: Electile dysfunction and premature congratulation

Q: Why can George W Bush run for a third term as president?
A: Because the Supreme Court said if you count his vacation time, he's barely served one."

Q: Why did George Bush and Andy Card agree that Andy could no longer have a cabinent position? (Andy Card is the Chief Of Staff, who originally told George W Bush the country was under attack on 9/11)
A1: Because he doesn't promote inhumane torture (Attorney General: Alberto Gonzales)
A2: Because he didn't originally provide body armor to our troops in Iraq (Secretary of Defense: Donald Rumsfield)
A3: Because he didn't fuck up the government handling of Katrina (Homeland Security Chief: Michael Chertoff)
A4: He didn't expose any CIA Agents (Carl Rove)
A5: He didn't shoot old men in the face (Vice President Dick Cheney)

Q: What did George Bush do when he heard about the devastation of Katrina?
A: Out of force of habit he got out a copy of 'My Pet Goat' and started reading it

Q: What happened when George Bush said Global Warming is happening at a faster pace then he expected?
A: A cabinent member pulled him aside and told him not to worry it's spring time.

Q: Why did George Bush free us from the green jackboot of the Kyoto Protocol.
A: Global warming means better tans.

Q: What did George Bush say when asked about giving Amnesty to illegals?
A: Its absolutely terrible when one loses their memory illegal or legal.

Q: Why did Dubya finally tell Karl Rove "Enough is Enough?
A: He ruined the United 93 movie for him by leaking the ending .

Q: Why is George W Bush only speaking to the Amish?
A: Because they are the only group not upset about the high gas prices!

Q: How do you know George W Bush is not planning on invading Iran?
A: Hmm....he might very well invade Iran, but there won't be any planning involved.

Q: How does the Bush administration plan to fix social security?
A: By taking the word SECURITY out of it.

Q: When meeting Chinese President Hu, how did George W say the two countries are growing closer?
A1: Chinese are slowing being given the civil liberties, Americans take for granted
A2: Americans are moving towards the Chinese system of spying on its people without warrants
A3: Americans are utilizing the Chinese policy of putting people in jail without a fair trial
A4: The Americans are talking about building a Great Wall (Mexico/America)

Q: Why did President Bush's second inaugural celebration cost $40 million?
A: Because his twin daughters insisted on an open bar.

Q: Why is it alright for George W to start drinking again?
A: 'Well, why not? He's got everybody else drinking.'"

Q: What is George W Bush's new motto?
A: Give me liberty or give me death." and if all else fails we'll send FEMA

Q: What's the sad truth about George W Bush's poll numbers?
A: More people believe Elvis is alive then in George W

Q: Whats the difference between George W Bush and the Titanic?
A: No matter how bad things get, nobody can sink George W's ship!

Q:Why did Bin Ladin stop having sex with his wife?
A:Because everytime he would spread her legs he saw Bush!

Q: Why does Laura Bush (Presidents Wife) always get on top?
A: ...Because George Bush can only fuck up.

Q: Why is George W a big fan of Palestinian president Abbas?
A: He absolutely loves his hit song, Dancing Queen."

Q: What is the difference between the George W and Clinton's administration?
A: George W has a trouble controlling his generals and Clinton had trouble controlling his privates

Q: Why is Karl Rove was under fire again today?
A: For leaking the plot of the new Harry Potter book to U.S. President Bush?

Q: Why is the Bush administration so bad at creating jobs?
A: Because they can barely hold onto the ones that they have!

Q: What's the difference between George W Bush and an average student?
A: An Average student can't find Iraq on a Map, George W can get out of Iraq

Q: What happens if Bush's popularity falls any further
A: He'll become a Democrat

Q: What did President Bush do when Ryan Secrest said 62 million people voted in the American Idol finale?
A: He went out and bought a karaoke machine

Q: Why is Hurricane Rita Bush's worst nightmare?
A: An electric chair with no power!

Q: How is George W similar to the Peanuts character Pigpen?
A: Wherever he goes, he stirs up such a humongous mess, it can only be cleaned up by Halliburton.

Q: What did George W ask the Louisiana National Guard when visiting the destruction from Katrina?
A: Does this visit count toward the service time I still owe the National Guard.

Q: What can't George W do while in the White House?
A1: Imprision US Citizens without a trial ( the name of national security)
A2: Wiretap citizens of the country even though other laws state that you can't
A3: Go to war without a declaration from congressMore One Liners Jokes about George Bush [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Anatoly Yurkin Repeatability is a means of producing digital prosperity. [07/30/2019 10:07:45] More

Anatoly Yurkin The launch date of the Libra cryptocurrency from Facebook will be the first loose leaf in the calendar to attract digital money. (Anatoly Yurkin) [08/13/2019 03:08:22] More

Anatoly Yurkin Repeatability is a multi-storey car Park with access to digital prosperity. [07/21/2019 09:07:59] More

Anatoly Yurkin Through repeated transaction decentralization available for the analog user. [07/28/2019 02:07:50] More

Anatoly Yurkin Existence is proportionate to what is repeated. [07/25/2019 03:07:02] More