Vladimir Putin

Vladimir Putin

president of the Russian Federation
Easter celebrations are evidence of the increased benign influence of the Russian Orthodox Church and other traditional churches in our country on society.More Vladimir Putin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Of course, it's always bad to lose, of course it's always a hardship when you lose to yesterday's miners or yesterday's tractor drivers. But life is life. It'll surely go on.More Vladimir Putin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The Comrade Wolf knows whom to eat, as the saying goes. It knows whom to eat and is not about to listen to anyone, it seems.More Vladimir Putin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Democracy is not possible without effectively working legal system.More Vladimir Putin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We must stop using the language of force and return to the path of civilized diplomatic and political settlement.More Vladimir Putin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
If you're always Putin things off, you'll end up Russian.More Jokes about Vladimir Putin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
The leader of china calls Obama and says: "Hey man, we havn't had a good fight in a while, how about we see who has the best army?"
To which Obama said: "Look pal, you know me, we never say no to a big show down but we have so much on our plate right now. The election, the syrian crysis, superbowl...how about you come back in a couple of years? Or better yet, call Russia!"

The chinese leader hung up the phone and called Putin right away. After he politely asked if he could invade Russia Putin replied: "It sounds like it would be a worthy challenge for mother Russia but we are currently fighting in Syria so unless you would like to go all the way over there then I'm afraid that we have to pass."

The great leader was just about to hang up when Putin added: "You know what though? There is a country that you might not even have heard of but those who have been foolish enough to have fought with them and by some miracle survived can tell you that they will never back down from a fight, call...the swedes [or insert the nationality of the person that you are telling the joke to here]."

Naturally the leader called the prime minister of Sweden and said "Listen, we have heard about how strong your warriors are and so we have decided to declare war upon you to see once and for all who has the greater army."

The prime minister was obviously suprised to recieve such a phone call but he soon replied: "Oh I see, interesting...tell me...how many are you?

With pride, the great leader aswered: "I have a billion soldiers awaiting my command!"

"Oh shit...wait a minute, I have to check with some of my ministers to see what they think about this...you said a billion with a "b" right?"

"Yes" said the great leader smiling.

After a couple of minutes the prime minister returned to the phone and said with great dissapointment: "Hi again, sorry for keeping you waiting but it is exactly as I thought...we would love to fight you guys but we have no idea where we would burry all of you!"More Jokes about Vladimir Putin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Eugene Ryabyi The more you fan the dreams, the more deafening is the noise when they will burst. [09/07/2019 08:09:36] More

Anatoly Yurkin In making mistakes, everyone can become a Mozart of alienation. [09/06/2019 10:09:25] More

Anatoly Yurkin The postulate is a crisp on academic knowledge. [09/09/2019 12:09:54] More

Eugene Ryabyi Nothing points so much to the insignificance of man as bureaucracy. [09/14/2019 08:09:33] More

Anatoly Yurkin The circulation of smart digital capital is possible thanks to the alienation transaction. (Anatoly Yurkin) [08/30/2019 03:08:14] More