Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998]

Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998]

[after Mary asks Ted to the prom]



Ted:
[narrating] From that point on, the guys looked at me in a completely different light.



High School Pal Bob:
You're a fuckin' liar!

More Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Pat Healy:
What, you think yer shit don't stink?



Ted:
No, I don't think, I mean, yes it does, no I don't...

More Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Mary:
Hey, you want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?



Ted:
No, I think I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead.



Mary:
You're not that far ahead, Ted.

More Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ted:
I'm telling you, I did not solicit sex! I was just stopping to go the bathroom, next thing I know I tripped over something - well someone - and, POOF, there's cops and lights and...



Detective Stabler:
Okay, calm down, Ted, we believe you. The problem is we found your friend in the car


[referring to the dead body found in Ted's car, unbeknown to Ted was left by the hitchhiker]



Ted:
[Ted has no idea the hitchhiker left a bag with dead body in his car. He thinks the police is going to charge him with picking hitchhiker, as the hitchhiker told him it was a felony] Oh. The hitchhiker. That's what this is all about. Isn't that just my luck - I get caught for everything.



Detective Krevoy:
So you admit it?



Ted:
Guilty as charged. I'm not gonna play games with you. I could give you a song and dance but what's the point? I did it and we all know it. The hitcher himself told me it's illegal The irony.



Detective Krevoy:
Well, uh, can you tell us his name?



Ted:
Jeez, I didn't catch it



Detective Stabler:
So he was a stranger? It was totally random?



Ted:
He was the first hitcher I saw, what can I tell you? Now cut to the chase, how much trouble am I in?



Detective Stabler:
First tell us why you did it.



Ted:
Why I did it? I don't know. Boredom? I thought I was doing the guy a favor.



Detective Krevoy:
This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted? How many we talking?



Ted:
Hitchhikers? I don't know - fifty... a hundred maybe - Who keeps track? Hey, I know this is the Bible Belt, but where I come from this is not that big a deal.



Detective Krevoy:
You son of a bitch! You're gonna fry!

More Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Ted:
Do you think maybe you wanna maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner, you know, catch up on old times?



Mary:
Didn't we just do that?



Ted:
Oh, uh...



Mary:
I'm fucking with you, Ted!

More Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] Movie: There's Something About Mary [1998] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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