Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004]

Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Call Mrs. Himelfarb, remind her to floss... cancel my appointments for the rest of my life and send in as much nitrous as you can, call the FBI.
Julie: What?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: CALL THE FBI!
Julie: What's wrong?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [gets upset] What's wrong, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. Everything's wrong. Take a look around you. Nothing's right. Cynthia got kidnapped by a bunch of Hungarian killers. And instead of calling the FBI or police like every other rational man, I thought to myself: 'Hey, let's try to get in contact with somebody else that kills a lot of people.' So I went down to Mexico - which is heavily underdeveloped, by the way - and I asked him to help me out. Did he help me out? No, he didn't help me out, he didn't help me out. No, he didn't help me out! Know what he did do? He put on bunny slippers, shot at me and then cooked me some chicken.
[starts to calm down]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'll be okay. I'm gonna calm down and go downstairs and I'm gonna take a nice, leisurely drive in my Porsche.
[gets upset again]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Wait a minute, I can't drive my Porsche because I don't have my Porsche any more. That's gone, that's history, that's archives! We left the Porsche so we could get onto a bus and rent some other car and you know why? Because I don't. Do you know why? Some kind of GPS, I don't know, system.
Julie: What's that smell?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'll tell you what that smell is. It's me. I smell, and you know why? I've been wearing this suit for three days. I smell like ass. Or foot. Or some kind of foot that's been lodged up deep, deep, deep, inside an ass. I'll tell you the worst thing: I woke up naked next to another naked man who admittedly wets the bed. So if you talk to anybody or anybody calls here, you tell them I fell down a flight of stairs!
Julie: Yes, sir.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Don't 'yes sir' me! Call the FBI!
Julie: [goes towards the phone] Calling... I'm calling.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Dial F-B-I. Call the FBI and tell them I fell down a flight of stairs!More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [looks at Jimmy's feet] Are you wearing bunny slippers?More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Jimmy Tudeski: Do unto others before you're turned into a pillar of salt.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: A pillar of salt?
Jimmy Tudeski: Yeah. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz!More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Cynthia: You're afraid of everything, Oz.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: That is so not true.
[hears balloons pop and ducks under table]More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Lazlo: Your wife is in a safe...
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: My wife is in a safe?
Lazlo: Place! Safe place! Let me finish the sentence.More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]

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