Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004]

Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004]

Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Would it be okay for me to ask you at this juncture who you are and what you're doing in my house?
[Lazlo's people start laughing at him]
Lazlo: I am flabbergasted!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'm sorry?
Lazlo: Chagrined! That you don't see the resemblance in the facial structure!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [to Lazlo's boys] And you guys basically understand all of this?More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [hears and sees Jimmy shooting bullets at him] Jimmy! Jimmy, don't shoot! It's me, it's Oz!
Jimmy Tudeski: I know.
[shoots at him again]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Okay, that almost hit me!More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Jimmy Tudeski: [Jill points a gun at him] You don't have the balls.
Jill: Ha. This coming from a guy who rarely gets it up.
Cynthia: That's funny. He never had that problem with me.More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Call Mrs. Himelfarb, remind her to floss... cancel my appointments for the rest of my life and send in as much nitrous as you can, call the FBI.
Julie: What?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: CALL THE FBI!
Julie: What's wrong?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: [gets upset] What's wrong, what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. Everything's wrong. Take a look around you. Nothing's right. Cynthia got kidnapped by a bunch of Hungarian killers. And instead of calling the FBI or police like every other rational man, I thought to myself: 'Hey, let's try to get in contact with somebody else that kills a lot of people.' So I went down to Mexico - which is heavily underdeveloped, by the way - and I asked him to help me out. Did he help me out? No, he didn't help me out, he didn't help me out. No, he didn't help me out! Know what he did do? He put on bunny slippers, shot at me and then cooked me some chicken.
[starts to calm down]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'll be okay. I'm gonna calm down and go downstairs and I'm gonna take a nice, leisurely drive in my Porsche.
[gets upset again]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Wait a minute, I can't drive my Porsche because I don't have my Porsche any more. That's gone, that's history, that's archives! We left the Porsche so we could get onto a bus and rent some other car and you know why? Because I don't. Do you know why? Some kind of GPS, I don't know, system.
Julie: What's that smell?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: I'll tell you what that smell is. It's me. I smell, and you know why? I've been wearing this suit for three days. I smell like ass. Or foot. Or some kind of foot that's been lodged up deep, deep, deep, inside an ass. I'll tell you the worst thing: I woke up naked next to another naked man who admittedly wets the bed. So if you talk to anybody or anybody calls here, you tell them I fell down a flight of stairs!
Julie: Yes, sir.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Don't 'yes sir' me! Call the FBI!
Julie: [goes towards the phone] Calling... I'm calling.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Dial F-B-I. Call the FBI and tell them I fell down a flight of stairs!More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: So this is how a retired mass murderer acts.
Jimmy Tudeski: No. This is how a retired mass murderer acts when people show up uninvited.
[grabs Oz by the throat]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky: Noted.More Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] Movie: The Whole Ten Yards [2004] quotes [06/09/2007 12:06:00]

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