Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968]

Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968]

Oscar Madison:
I'm $800 behind in alimony. Let's raise the stakes.



Roy:
They can do it, you know.



Oscar Madison:
Do what?



Roy:
Throw you in jail.



Oscar Madison:
Never. If she can't call me up once a week to aggravate me, she's not happy.



Murray the Cop:
Aren't you worried about the kids?



Oscar Madison:
Murray, the kids are living in their grandfather's house with a swimming pool in California. Can we just play cards?



Roy:
I told you you'd get into trouble. It's because you don't know how manage anything. I should know - I'm your accountant.



Oscar Madison:
If you're my accountant, how come I need money?



Roy:
If you need money, how come you play poker?



Oscar Madison:
'Cause I need money.



Roy:
But you always lose.



Oscar Madison:
That's why I need the money.



Roy:
Then don't play poker.



Oscar Madison:
Then don't come to my house and eat my potato chips.


[grabs the bag of potato chips on the poker table and flings the entire contents all over the living room]



Oscar Madison:
You see, wise guy? Potato chips!



Murray the Cop:
Oh, beautiful, beautiful.


[an argument ensues with everyone bickering all at once]



Murray the Cop:
What are you yelling about? We're playing a friendly game!


[the bickering continues]



Murray the Cop:
All right, all right, ALL RIGHT! Calm down, calm down, take it easy. I'm a cop, you know - I can arrest the whole lousy game.


[they all quiet down]



Oscar Madison:
My friend Murray the cop is right. Let's just play cards and please hold them up. I can't see where I marked them.



Roy:
He owes money to his wife, his government and his friends and he still won't take it seriously.



Oscar Madison:
Life goes on even for those of us who are divorced, broke and sloppy.

More Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
[about Felix]



Oscar Madison:
I know him. He's too nervous to kill himself. Wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

More Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Murray:
A whole bottle of pills! My God, get an ambulance!



Oscar Madison:
Wait a minute, will ya? We don't even know what kind!



Murray:
What difference does it make? He took a whole bottle!



Oscar Madison:
Well, maybe they were vitamins! He could be the healthiest one in the room!

More Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Murray:
How many cards you got, four?



Speed:
Yes, Murray, we all have four cards. When you give us one more, we'll all have five. If you gave us two more, we'd all have six. Do you see how that works now?



Murray:
Is Oscar playing or not? Hey, Oscar!



Oscar Madison:
[from the kitchen] Yeah?



Murray:
Hey Oscar, are you in or out?



Oscar Madison:
[blows on a slice of bread he'd dropped on the floor] Out pussycat, out!

More Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]
Felix Ungar:
I was just repeating what I thought you said.



Oscar Madison:
Well, don't repeat what you THOUGHT I said, repeat what I said! My god, that's irritating!

More Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] Movie: The Odd Couple [1968] quotes [06/16/2016 01:06:42]

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