Marva Munson: Now I want to know what's goin' on.
Professor G.H. Dorr: Oh, indeed, indeed. The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing. Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation you shall laugh riotously, slappin' your knee and perhaps even wipin' away a giddy tear, relieved of your former concern. Lump here is an avid collector of Indian arrowheads, and having found one simply lying on your cellar floor - a particularly rare artifact of the Natchez tribe?
Lump Hudson: Nats... what?
Professor G.H. Dorr: He enlisted the entire ensemble in an all-out effort to sift through the subsoil in search of others. And apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas. I myself became acutely aware of the smell of "rotten eggs." And it was just at this inopportune moment that the General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette.
The General: So sorry.
Marva Munson: Well, what about all that money?
Professor G.H. Dorr: Ah. The money. Well, the money is Mr. Pancake's.
Garth Pancake: That's right.
Professor G.H. Dorr: Who only just remortgaged his home in order to raise the money for a surgical procedure that will correct the wandering eye of his common-law wife, Mountain Water, who suffers from astigmia, strabismus and a general curdling of the vitreous jelly. Mr. Pancake is an ardent foe of the Federal Reserve, and is, in fact, one of those eccentrics one often reads about hoardin' his entire life savings, in Mr. Pancake's case, in a Hefty bag that is his constant companion. The Steel Sak.
Garth Pancake: Don't trust the banks. Never have.More Movie: The Ladykillers  Movie: The Ladykillers  quotes [06/26/2008 12:06:00]
Professor G.H. Dorr: General, you are a Buddhist. Perhaps there is some "middle way" to solve this problem?
The General: Must float like leaf on river of life... and kill old lady.More Movie: The Ladykillers  Movie: The Ladykillers  quotes [06/26/2008 12:06:00]
Waffle Hut Waitress: Have you all decided?
Professor G.H. Dorr: Madam, we must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith! We must all think, and we must all have waffles, and think each and every one of us to the very best of his ability...More Movie: The Ladykillers  Movie: The Ladykillers  quotes [06/26/2008 12:06:00]
Professor G.H. Dorr: And what, to flog a horse, that if not dead is at this point in mortal danger of expiring, does this little square represent?More Movie: The Ladykillers  Movie: The Ladykillers  quotes [06/26/2008 12:06:00]
Professor G.H. Dorr: Uh, can you wield the device with your maimed extremity?More Movie: The Ladykillers  Movie: The Ladykillers  quotes [06/26/2008 12:06:00]
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