Bill Gates

Bill Gates

American business magnate, philanthropist, author and chairman of Microsoft, the software company he founded with Paul Allen
There are no significant bugs in our released software that any significant number of users want fixedMore Bill Gates quotes [01/01/2000 12:01:00]
You always overestimate what you can get done in a year and underestimate what you can get done in 10 years.More Bill Gates quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Teaching's hard! You need different skills: positive reinforcement, keeping students from getting bored, commanding their attention in a certain way.More Bill Gates quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Sometimes, I think my most important job as a CEO is to listen for bad news. If you don't act on it, your people will eventually stop bringing bad news to your attention and that is the beginning of the end.More Bill Gates quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I find golf very relaxing. It's a way to get away from work and get outside. It's a lot of fun, and once you get going it's almost kind of addictive.More Bill Gates quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. Lo and behold, it was a very old oil lamp. The guy started to buff it to remove the verdigris when "poof" a genie appeared.

This genie, like all genies, was so happy to be freed of the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes.

"I wish to be a dollar richer than Bill Gates," says the guy.

The genie wasn't sure who Bill Gates was until the guy told him to check Forbes magazine. When the genie called up Forbes from inside the lamp, he learned that Bill Gates was indeed, the richest man in the world.

"Guy," the genie said, "You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill Gates. What's your second wish?"

"Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire engine red, on board GPS and the finest audio system ever installed in an automobile."

"That's easy, Guy," says the genie. He waves his hand and best car anybody had ever seen pops out of the lamp. The genie then asks the guy for his third wish.

The guy mulls the problem over and over. A girl--nah, with billions and billions of dollars he certainly had become a girl magnet. World peace? Only wackos want that. The guy could not find anything that warranted using his third and last wish.

"Genie," the guy said, "I can't think of anything now. May I save the third wish for later?"

"Gee, this is most unusual. But you hold the hammer, and I can't escape from this lamp until you make a third wish. Call me when you're ready," and whoosh the genie disappears into the lamp.

The guy carefully picks up the now-ever-so-valuable lamp and places it in the trunk of the fire engine red Porsche. He turns on the radio to balance the sounds and makes all the other adjustments needed to get his great audio system customized to his ears.

After that, he pulls off the beach and heads south along the Pacific Coast Highway. Soon he's up to 60, then 70, then 80. The Porsche handled perfectly. The guy is so happy that he begins to sing along with the familiar commercial on the radio.

"Oh, I wish I was an Oscar-Mayer Wiener..."More Other / Misc Jokes about Bill Gates [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
"Remember, never ask a geek "why"; just nod your head and back away slowly... "
Dan Wineman

Memory is like an orgasm. It's a lot better if you don't have to fake it.
Seymour Cray (commenting on virtual memory).

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Jeremy S. Anderson

Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support for a lifetime.

"Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux."

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

"Bill Gates says no matter how much more power we can supply, he'll develop some really exciting software that will bring the machine to its knees."
Intel VP David House, In _EE_Times_, 16 October 1989

Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

There are two ways to write error-free programs. Only the third one works.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
Andrew Tannenbaum

Hardware, n.:
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Heuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs, then they'd be algorithms.

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.

If NT is your answer, you don't understand the question

The software said it requires Windows 95 or better, so I installed Linux

To iterate is human; to recurse, is divine.

Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice.
-- Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual

C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void.

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history... with the possible exception of handguns and tequila."
Anon. More Jokes about Bill Gates [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

Anatoly Yurkin Better money solipsism as the culmination of digital selfishness than any form of procrastination brought into virtual reality. [09/15/2018 12:09:21] More


Eugeny Antonuk Not every sound in unison indicates the right note. [09/14/2018 04:09:50] More


Eugeny Antonuk If he decided for himself not to listen to someone else's opinion, is it worth giving out advice? [09/06/2018 02:09:39] More


Author Unknown In life, one has to reckon with fools, as well as on the battlefield with the enemy, who has numerical superiority on his side. [09/06/2018 02:09:07] More


Vladimir Tokarev Any idea stands on some foundation [09/16/2018 10:09:00] More