Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Oscar nominee for 'Annie Hall' (1977)
Me and nature are two.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I never have an alter ego in the movies. That's a fiction that the press has made up over the years, and it's fun to write that. It gives them something to write.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The first one says 'the food was terrible' the other says 'yes it was and such small portions too' (hat tip Woody Allen)More Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams.

"I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen.

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig.

"Computer programming is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
- Rich Cook.

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes).More Other / Misc Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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