Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Oscar nominee for 'Annie Hall' (1977)
There's a tacit agreement between myself and the audience that I will entertain them when they buy their ticket, and I've been the one that has screwed that up. Once in while I indulge myself and try something else, and I keep my fingers crossed that it will come out good and there'll be enough people who will enjoy it, but that doesn't often happen.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
There is no advantage getting older. You don't get smarter, you don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't get more kindly, nothing good happens. Your back hurts more, you get more indigestion, your eyesight isn't as good, you need a hearing aid. It's a bad business getting old and I would advise you not to do it if you can avoid it. It doesn't have a romantic quality.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
"It's sex with someone you love."... Woody Allen.

Moar...

'Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damn good.'

And lastly...

'My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.'More Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams.

"I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen.

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig.

"Computer programming is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
- Rich Cook.

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes).More Other / Misc Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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