Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Oscar nominee for 'Annie Hall' (1977)
Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
"You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Me neither." ~ Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." ~ Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." ~ Billy Crystal

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." ~ Tom Clancy

"Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." ~ Robin WilliamsMore Men / Women Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
The first one says 'the food was terrible' the other says 'yes it was and such small portions too' (hat tip Woody Allen)More Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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