Woody Allen

Woody Allen

Oscar nominee for 'Annie Hall' (1977)
We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices...More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she
would come in and sink my boats.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case.More Woody Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." - Douglas Adams.

"I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen.

"Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together...." - Carl Zwanzig.

"Computer programming is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning."
- Rich Cook.

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes).More Other / Misc Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
"You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Me neither." ~ Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." ~ Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." ~ Billy Crystal

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." ~ Tom Clancy

"Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." ~ Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." ~ Robin WilliamsMore Men / Women Jokes about Woody Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

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