Daniel Tosh

Daniel Tosh

American stand-up comedian and host of the Comedy Central television show, Tosh.0.
Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off - don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.More Daniel Tosh quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I have no idea why people want to watch puppets be the slightly meaner version of the weirdo holding them. It's beyond my comprehension.More Daniel Tosh quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's like the one thing... the line you are not to cross.More Daniel Tosh quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked. Not getting any cavities.More Daniel Tosh quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not a huge fan of repeating jokes, and I don't really do any of my old material from old stand-up acts.More Daniel Tosh quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]

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