Saddam Hussein

Saddam Hussein

President of Iraq since 1979.
Fight them with your faith in God, fight them in defense of every free honorable woman and every innocent child, and in defense of the values of manhood and the military honor...Fight them because with their defeat you will be at the last entrance of the conquest of all conquests. The war will end with...dignity, glory, and triumph for your people, army, and nation.More Saddam Hussein quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Today you are standing in a position that would please the friend and would anger the enemy and all the infidels. You will be victorious against the enemies and you are causing them to suffer.More Saddam Hussein quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
We have to work sincerely and responsibly to thwart any attempt to divide the Arab nation into small groups, with which foreign countries would deal separately. This would eventually be in the interests of Zionism, which stands behind such policies, formulating the relevant theories and promoting distorted information to world politicians, especially in the West, in order to make them adopt an approach which is harmful to the Arab nation and is even against the legitimate interests of their own countries.More Saddam Hussein quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
You will triumph, O Iraqis, and with you the sons of your Arab nationMore Saddam Hussein quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Those who fight in God's cause will be victorious.More Saddam Hussein quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park
I did not do it on a date
I did not ever fornicate
I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants
I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face
I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you''ve been misled
I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone
I did not cause her dress to stain
I never boinked Saddam Hussein
I did not do it with a whip
I never fondled Linda Tripp
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
I chased her ''round, but could not catch her
No kinky stuff, not on your life
I wouldn''t, even with my wife
And Jennifer Flowers'' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes
And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers
I did not ask my friends to lie
I did not hang them out to dry
I did not do it last November
But if I did, I don''t remember
I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don''t recall
I never did it in my study
I never did it with my dog, Buddy
I never did it to Sox, the cat
I might have -once with Arafat
I never did it in a hurry
I never groped Ms. Betty Currie
There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal
But never did these things so lewd
At least, not ever in the nude
These things to which I have confessed
They do not count, if we stayed dressed
It never happened with a cigar
I never dated Mrs.Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN
I broke some rules my Mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now you''ve caught me
But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, do not impeach
I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhaleMore News / Politics Jokes about Saddam Hussein [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
1. San Diego police department, how may we help you?
2. Hi! Would you like to buy a new sofa, fridge or car? What about a vacuum?
3. Hello earthling. I am an alien. You may not know this, but right now, I am having sex with your ear.
4. Let your child answer the phone and tell them to say this: "Will you be my friend?"
5. Burp into the phone.
6. Fart into the phone.
7. Yes, I'd like to order one large mushroom pizza, and cheese sticks...
8. Hello, the president is not in his office at this moment, this is his secretary, can I take a message?
9. Saddam Hussein's headquarters. May I ask why you are calling?
10. Konnichiwa. Aji tunti wahika nu popo bwah? Bunwaf huji toe... (you get the point.)
11. Nobody's home! (hang up)
12. Push random buttons on the phone and make music with the beeps, don't stop until they hang up.
13. Be a pest, say "Why are you trying to sell me stuff?" listen to their response. Say "huh?" listen to what they say, then say "Um... what?" etc.
14. Hi this is Michael Jackson's phone-picker-upper, he's busy, please call back though...
15. Tell them to spell ICUP. Laugh when they say "I see you pee."
16. Tell them you need help, for them to send you some medication or something because you're sitting on the toilet constipated.
17. Say "Seven days..." then hang up. (like in "The Ring")More Other / Misc Jokes about Saddam Hussein [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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