If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.More Dolly Parton quotes [07/09/2011 07:07:56]
I do write a lot of children's songs, and I'm going to do a children's television show, which also means I'll be doing a lot of albums. So I do hope my future will hold a lot of things for children.More Dolly Parton quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A lot of people have said I'd have probably done better in my career if I hadn't looked so cheap and gaudy. But I dress to be comfortable for me, and you shouldn't be blamed because you want to look pretty.More Dolly Parton quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Nobody can ever make enough money for as many poor relatives as I've got. Somebody's got a sick kid, or somebody needs an operation, somebody ain't got this, somebody ain't got that. Or to give the kids all a car when they graduate.More Dolly Parton quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before the angel to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.
The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it. The angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged..."What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She performs a rude act of hygiene and she gets in. Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," says the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are."More Puns Jokes about Dolly Parton [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
One night Dolly Parton and Princess Diana were playing a Poker game when both of them spontaneous combust, and died. Both are sent up to the gates of Heaven and put in front of God.
God says, "For either of you to get into heaven, you must tell me something about you that qualifies you to enter the gates."
Dolly steps up first saying, "Well God, I have these enormous breasts the world has appreciated throughout my career."
God retorts with, "I'm sorry, but that does not allow you to enter."
Princess Diana comes up to God and says, "Well God, at least once a day I would douche my vagina."
God responds, "Very well Diana, you may enter into heaven."
Stunned, Dolly asks, "Why was she allowed to enter for douching once a day and my breasts don't allow me to enter Heaven?"
God responds, "Come on Dolly, everyone knows a royal flush beats a great pair."More Jokes about Dolly Parton [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
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