Joseph Stalin

Joseph Stalin

the leader of the Soviet Union from the mid-1920s until his death in 1953
Die, but do not retreat.More Joseph Stalin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Personel selection is decisive. People are our most valuable capital.More Joseph Stalin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
A man's eyes should be torn out if he can only see the pastMore Joseph Stalin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Hitlers come and go, but Germany and the German people remain.More Joseph Stalin quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do.More Joseph Stalin quotes [02/09/2012 05:02:38]
Stalin is giving a long speech at an event, naturally in front of a huge audience. While he's in full flow, somebody near the front of the hall sneezes. Stalin stops and surveys the crowd.

"Who sneezed?" he asks.

Deathly silence.

"I repeat," says Stalin, "who sneezed?"

Not a peep.

"Very well," says Stalin. "First row, stand up!" Everyone in the first row stands up. "Guards! Open fire!"

A few seconds later, the entire first row of the audience is lying in bloody heaps on the ground.

"Now, who sneezed?" Still not a whimper. "Second row, stand up! Guards! Open fire!" The second row writhes and breathes its last.

"Now, comrades: who sneezed?" Absolute silence. "Third row! Stand up! Guards! Op...."

"Wait! Wait!" From the sixth row a man rises, shaking so hard with fear that he can barely stay on his legs. "Please! Comrade Stalin! It was me. I sneezed."

Stalin fixes his eye on the wretch. The entire audience watches, paralysed.

"You sneezed?"

"Yes, Comrade Stalin, yes. It was me."

"Bless you, comrade!"
More Jokes about Joseph Stalin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
So Joseph Stalin is giving a speech, and all of a sudden, someone sneezes, interrupting his speech.

Stalin gets mad and asks, "Who sneezed?".

Stalin asks once again, "Who sneezed?"

When nobody comes forward, Stalin says "Very well. First row, stand up!". The first row in the crowd stands up, and a firing squad shoots them all.

"Who sneezed?", Stalin asks again, but nobody comes forward.

"Alright, second row, stand up!". The second row stands up and they are shot by the firing squad.

"Who sneezed?", Stalin asks, and eventually an elderly old man in the crowd gets up and says "I can't take it anymore! It was me, alright? I sneezed!".

"Come to me now!", Stalin says to the man who sneezed.

The man goes up to Stalin, and Stalin looks at him for a few moments before saying "Bless you, comrade!"More Jokes about Joseph Stalin [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

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