Tim Allen

Tim Allen

comedian
Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.More Tim Allen quotes [07/13/2011 05:07:28]
For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.More Tim Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.More Tim Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.More Tim Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.More Tim Allen quotes [03/29/2018 05:03:36]
... holding a sign "IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN BACK. THIS PATH IS DOOMED!!" Most people just drive by but then suddenly someone stops and yells at the priests: "No one will belive this religious bullshit! You're wasting your time!" After that one of the priests says: Maby we should just write "The bridge has fallen!"?More Jokes about Tim Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]
Mustafa al Eih Zeri?

>Here

Achmed El Kabul?

>Here

Fatima Bin Pardin?

>Here

Ali Abdul Olmi?

>Here

Mohammed Bin Kadir?

>Here

Ali Son al En?
Silence in the classroom.

Ali Son al En?
Continued silence, as everyone looked around the room

The teacher repeated the call, 'Ali Son al En?'
Then a girl stood up and said

>Sorry, teacher, I think that's me...

>It's pronounced Allison Allen

(Email joke from my grandpa, tried to format it for reddit)More Jokes about Tim Allen [01/02/2018 12:01:02]

Quotes of the month

James Cagney Find your mark, look the other fellow in the eye, and tell the truth. [03/29/2018 05:03:36] More


Bill Gates If the 1980s were about quality and the 1990s were about reengineering, then the 2000s will be about velocity. [03/29/2018 05:03:36] More


John Gottman I believe we're going to find that respect and affection are essential to all relationships working and contempt destroys them. [03/29/2018 05:03:36] More


Jacque Fresco The more intelligent our children, the better our lives and the richer our culture will be. [03/29/2018 05:03:36] More


Andy Murray I've been asked a lot lately if tennis is clean or not. I don't know any more how you judge whether a sport is clean. If one in 100 players is doping, in my eyes that isn't a clean sport. [03/29/2018 05:03:36] More